


Instinct

by Elohiniar



Series: Tales of The Dog Lord [5]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adult Content, Adult Rin (InuYasha), Amazing, Awesome, Cheating, Complete, Danger, Demons, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Excellent, F/M, Heartbreak, Lemon, Post-InuYasha, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:56:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 140,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21605662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elohiniar/pseuds/Elohiniar
Summary: What happens when the enemy returns to tempt Sesshomaru with a demoness that is also his soulmate?  The Dai-yokai wakes one night in the arms of Natsuki, a female dog-demon. What happens when Rin finds out? Can they figure out what is happening before it's too late?Updated weekly :)This story has the most amount of lemons I have ever written in one story...This story is beta'd by the lovely Laureninthesky! Thank you for catching my grammar and spelling errors!
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Series: Tales of The Dog Lord [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1350946
Comments: 579
Kudos: 144





	1. Prologue

**Autumn**

Gobodo-sama sat in her high backed golden chair with her arms crossed over her ample breast. Her silver hair was tied back into two, tight pony tails, decorated with sea shells. She couldn’t remember which potential suitor had given them to her as a young female. She toyed with the skin on her cheek, flicking the purple lightening stripe with the tip of index claw, annoyed as she listened to Kensaku speak to her about his daughter Natsuki. She rolled her eyes and snorted, “fine bring her to me,” she snarled in agreement. Kensaku had been extolling the many virtues of his fine daughter to her for hours now. That was the life of one who would live forever, conversations didn’t have to be clipped or cut short, they could take hours or years if needed.

“Natsuki,” Kensaku called to the young girl that waited at the bottom of the stops.

Natsuki boldly approached the dais. The gait of her stride caught Gobodo-sama’s attention. She didn’t cower as Gobodo-sama regarded her. In human terms she didn’t look more than fourteen or fifteen years of age. In yokai years the girl was over three hundred not quite old enough for what Kensaku was proposing but it wasn’t unheard of for someone her age to find their soulmate. The girl was by no means dressed plainly. She wore her own mokomoko draped over her shoulders and several layers of fine silk with the outer one being a deep maroon with dragons lining the edges. Gobodo-sama stood up, she walked over to the girl and grabbed her by the chin. She regarded the girls golden eyes. All Inu-yokai had golden eyes, there were few variations. Natsuki had the same magenta stripes under her eyes and on her wrists. Natsuki’s hair was silver similar to her own. Gobodo-sama turned Natsuki’s head one way then the other. She slapped Natsuki’s hand away when she tried to push Gobodo-sama away, “stop that,” Gobodo-sama hissed. “She’ll do.”

“So you agree?” Kensaku stood up proud and gloating.

“I agree to nothing. It is up to instinct to decide. She is still young and he is already bound to one.” She left out that the one he was bonded to was a human and that he had already fathered two hanyou children. That would come on its own, something the two of them would have to sort out and if Gobodo-sama had her way this pairing would not happen for another century. By then Yuki and Harutoga would be adults capable of caring for themselves and more powerful than their misfit uncle.

“But you agree the connection is there?” Kensaku pushed.

Natsuki smiled. For centuries she had heard about Sesshomaru. His glory, his power and that she was meant to be his mate. From what she had gleaned, he was one of the most powerful inu-yokai of the age and with their combined lineage she would become the mother to the greatest Dai yokai of the next age.

“It’s there, but she will not approach him this century. There’s no rush. Natsuki is still young,” Gobodo-sama gave them a warning glare.

“It’s not unheard of to be bound to more than one, surely you know that,” Kensaku pressed.

Gobodo-sama stood up, extending her full height. She allowed the slightest tinge of red to overtake the whites of her eyes, “you will not disturb my son’s family in this way, not now. The earliest this pairing will take place is in fifty years, perhaps sixty. I will send for Natsuki then. Now leave my home.” The air filled with her yoki, choking both Natsuki and her father, causing them to cower in fear. Natsuki would learn quickly once she was bound to Sesshomaru the seriousness of the bond. It would make her pine for him, yearn to be in his presence, to crave his touch and his closeness and knowing Sesshomaru as long as Rin lived he would be unable to reciprocate.

Kensaku she knew saw it as an opening to power. Gobodo-sama was sure he believed that meant that Natsuki’s children would inherit the territory that Sesshomaru had made for himself. Kensaku would be in for a surprise. This was a conversation that Sesshomaru and Gobodo-sama had already had. The territory would go either to Yuki or Harutoga. But little did her son know, she was already planning his next mate. In another half century, Rin would age and wither away. Then she would call Natsuki and whether Sesshomaru liked it or not, his instinct would force him to bond to Natsuki and he would then become the father of the next strongest Dai-yokai.

* * *

As Natsuki walked out of Gobodo-sama’s castle she heard a soft whisper. “Hey,” then a hand reached out and grabbed her own. She ripped hers from his grasp and hissed at the offending party who had dared to touch her pure skin. “How do you really feel about not seeing your intended now?” This man was tall, with silver hair that was tied into a high pony tail. He had a moon on his forehead and halberd tied to his back. He wore armor down both his arms and let his mokomoko wrap around his shoulder then curl around his feet. A canyon of a scar ran the length of his forehead through one eye down to his mouth. The orb inside was white with blindness. His clothes were plain and white.

“I can wait. Fifty or sixty years isn’t long. Although, I’m not sure why there must be a wait,” she replied coolly. She attempted to stride past him.

“Because your intended is bound to a human and has already fathered two hanyou children and plans to have another,” the man was antagonistic. He pranced forward flipping his pony tail over his shoulder, “what a disgrace it is, to see one of such stature lower himself over and over with a human.”

Natsuki folded her arms over her breasts turning on him, “and what would you suggest? I’m not yet 400 and Gobodo-sama is not one to be crossed.” Natsuki detested humans. Her mind was now racing. Her father had promised that her children would inherit the territory in the middle of Japan that Sesshomaru claimed as his own, but if he already had children, would he choose his hanyous over a pure-blooded child?

“At the rate at which his human wants children, he’ll father a whole litter of Hanyous and by the time he meets you, your children will have nothing left of his territory,” he picked at his claws.

“That won’t do at all,” Natsuki’s eyes flamed red.

“Would you like to know where to find him? He travels often but in five months’ time I know where he will be,” the man laughed and walked forward. “Just think if you happen to be in the same place? His instinct won’t allow him to resist you. You merely need to touch his heart with your hand, and his soul will be yours.” He touched his own heart and closed his eyes in imagined ecstasy.

“And how does that deal with his human mate?” Natsuki’s voice was as cold as the man speaking to her.

“You don’t know humans very well do you? If he bonds you and she finds out, she will leave him. Humans are fickle like that, wanting to keep their men to themselves and not share them. She won’t accept you into their home and she won’t accept his actions with you,” the grin that spread across the Inu-yokai’s face accentuated the fangs in his mouth.

“Who are you?” Natsuki asked.

“Touma. Sesshomaru’s younger brother,” he spun around to leave. _This will be even better than killing his mate and their unborn child. When she is done with them, his family will be destroyed._ “Believe me when I say that I love my brother and I want what is best for him. Consider it Natsuki. Come to me in five months and I will tell you where he will be.”

Natsuki lifted the hem of her kimono to catch up to her father. Touma’s words played in her head. Something had to be done. She wouldn’t wait another sixty years. Not when Sesshomaru was already fathering children with a human. Her father promised that her child would be the one to inherit the land and gain the title. She would take Touma up on his offer, in a matter of months Sesshomaru would be hers.


	2. Hisato's Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisato meets with the Ogre King and Touma to discuss a new plot to destroy Sesshomaru.
> 
> Okay if you haven't read my other stories...Hisato is Rin's guard, friend and trusted confident. He is also the lover of Gobodo-sama, Sesshomaru's mother. So...it's kind of a shock that he would consider betraying everyone for the sake of his own gain. What a jerk. 
> 
> If you didn't read Lost Memories: Rin had a miscarriage at the end of the story that emotionally rocked both her and Sesshomaru which will play a part in this story.

The cave was dark, dank and reeked of rotten carcasses. Hisato attempted to cover his nose without making it look like the smell of fresh ogres being birthed from the mud beneath him didn’t carry the stench that it did. The only light in the cave came from a large torch dangling from the top of the cave. Touma sat on a nearing boulder as the King of the Ogres, the reigning Lord of the Southern Lands plodded from mud patch to mud patch, stabbing a golden three pronged scepter into the ground. As the scepter touched the damp earth, light streaked into the dark brown soil like veins of lightning. Once the light faded, from the depths of the earth, new ogres were born in droves. They strained their way through the dirt that held them with roars and growls that shook the caves foundation. They lumbered towards their keepers who waited by the exit, surrounded by clanking metal. They were armed with weapons, swords, shields and ordered, “to the Southern Border of the Dog Lord,” over and over. They rose from the earth, green, red and blue, muscles ripped, minds devoid of intelligence, eyes of two or three, tens, hundreds soon to be thousands.

The Ogre King’s head scraped against the high reaching ceiling of the cave. He was nearly twice as tall as the average ogre. His skin was a more pleasant hue of blue, like the deep of the ocean before it is disturbed by waves. He glanced back at Touma his claws clicking on his scepter as he birthed a green ogre from the soil, “what is your plan this time? I have given you my children in the past, you wasted their lives. Because of your failure eight years ago he took my lands. The wolves bar my way.”

Touma leapt off his boulders spinning his Halberd in the air, his feet almost danced as he approached “to end his life and his reign of course. I have a plan. Hisato, does he suspect you?”

Hisato shook his head, his black mokomoko blew in the small breeze of the cave, “no. He is none the wiser. He and his Lady are convinced I am their loyal follower and confidant.”

“And my mother?” Touma’s grin was of yellowed fangs and gnashing teeth. His beady golden eye watched gleefully as more ogres rose from the ground.

“Why would she suspect the one she is bonded too? Only at your insistence did I return her affection. Twenty five years and I have kept our alliance to myself,” he smiled and joined Touma watching the parturition of a ferocious red, three eyed ogre. “How many does he make in a day?”

“Fifty to seventy-five, if the rains are plenty and the earth is generous. It’s not enough to push back the forces of my dear brother,” Touma picked at his teeth.

“You have a plan in mind?” Hisato inquired of Touma.

“Of course. My plan with the Healer failed. I miscalculated the strength of their bond. So if it is their bond that gives them strength, I must break it,” Touma’s hysteric laughter echoed off the walls of the cave.

“And how many of my children will you sacrifice in this scheme?” The Ogre King plunged his scepter into the earth, the ground luminesced with his power.

“Does it matter? They multiply like fleas,” Touma fanned his nose, “and smell like rotten carcasses.”

The Ogre King turned angrily on him. He threw the scepter at Touma’s head. The dog demon leapt on top of it balancing as it clashed into the side of the cave. He rode it like a wave, crouched low and jumped back onto the ground, “by all means, please continue to battle the Great Sesshomaru on your own Kyojin,” he yanked the scepter from the wall and threw it back.

Kyojin, the Ogre King caught it in his gnarled claws, “we lack the strength,” he admitted.

“His sword is formidable,” Hisato spoke quietly, “their bond is stronger now than it has ever been in the past.”

“A shame I only managed to kill the child in her stomach,” Touma giggled, “you’re sure they will try again soon?”

“I have counselled them that the way to closure is to try again, and so has his half-brother and Miko,” Hisato jumped onto one of the boulders as the earth beneath him rumbled with life and flashed in white light. A blue two eyed ogre with a tan horn between its eyes snarled its way from the soil.

“What of the hanyou and his Miko? They stand in the way of my plan,” Touma walked over to Hisato, “how is it my mother has not been able to detect your treachery? Sesshomaru is the favored son,” the last came out as afterthought. His mother had always bragged of Sesshomaru’s strength, Sesshomaru’s beauty, Sesshomaru’s pride, Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru! Touma clenched his claws against the palm of his hand drawing his own blood.

“They have left two of their children with him. The Miko has left her village to learn more medicines with the remaining two and Inuyasha. They should not pose a threat to your plan. As for Gobodo-sama, my humanity prevents her from sensing my deepest feelings. She doesn’t suspect how I detest her son. As long as you give me what you promised, I will deliver them to you as planned.”

Touma tapped the tips of his fingers together, from index to pinky over and over in thought, “when will they try again?”

“Soon,” Hisato answered, “do you get great pleasure out of disturbing them while she is pregnant?”

“It’s the easiest time. They are the most vulnerable. Is she still distraught about her lost child?” He devoured their suffering like it was his last meal.

“They are both still broken. You know your brother’s ego. Sesshomaru believes he is the strongest Yokai of the age. To not protect the human he loves, or the child she carried does not sit well with him,” Hisato answered.

“I will give you what you ask Touma, but you will then deliver the bodies of the Dog Lord and his human to me,” Kyojin the Ogre King smiled revealing crooked yellow teeth. “I will fertilize the soil of my children with their broken bones.”

“And what great fertilizer they will be,” Touma added.

“What is your plan?” Hisato asked Touma.

“Is your motivation still intact Hisato?” Touma inquired.

“As it ever was. Sesshomaru insulted my honor nearly a century ago, although he protects those with tainted blood his heart is not in it. I will taste his blood,” Hisato growled at Touma.

“Would you like to kill his children? You complain about them all the time,” Touma flipped his long braided hair over his shoulder.

“More than anything, especially the girl child. How will we handle your mother? Her love runs deep for the children and her wrath will flare. If you think Sesshomaru is too much to handle-”

“Mother will be worse. But if she loses her son and his children, she too will be distraught. She won’t find me. I have my hiding places. I have no need to overthrow her place in the sky, but without Sesshomaru there will be no heir to that castle, save for me. By the end, the earth will be soaked with the blood of the son of Inu no Taisho,” Touma gripped his Halberd, “let the rains come,” his golden eye turned red, his white eye a hue of pink. Rapid rains fell against the mouth of the cave and flowed over the dirt in the ground, “feed them my rains, feed the ogres.”

“We will have our revenge,” Hisato joined Touma and Kyojin in laughter. “I hate his daughter,” he kicked at the ground. The dirt swelled as more ogres matured. “An army of ogres, it won’t matter how many he wipes out.”

“Unless he kills the Ogre King,” Touma’s knuckles were white against the long, notched hilt of his halberd. He flipped the crescent mooned end back and forth, “they will continue to come, and come and come…the end is near Sesshomaru. Your end is finally coming. The final piece has come my way, dropped into my lap by my dear mother and her faithful mate.”

“Care to share?” Hisato sat next to him, “I have been loyal to you for decades.”

“You know what they say? Too many words, makes too few secrets. You will tell me if he impregnates her again, and when the child is coming and the rest will follow. Oh, Sesshomaru, if you only knew what I had planned for you.”

The Ogre King handed Hisato and Touma a cup full of yokai sake, “to the fall of the Dog Lord.”

“To the fall of the Dog Lord, my dear brother, Sesshomaru,” Touma laughed while he gulped the sake down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story got an interesting reception on fanfiction. 139 reviews. I almost want to see how many comments it can get on this site and know more opinions. So please COMMENT OR KUDO! OR BOTH :)


	3. To Fill Your Arms and Warm Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Sesshomaru try to have another child.
> 
> Ya'll just a fair warning, these chapters are really long. I'm sorry. Most of them are close to 9k words. So I can break them up if they're too long, but you only get one chapter a week. So long chapters or short chapters. You can let me know.

Rin blocked Taisho’s attack with her sword. True to their word, Sesshomaru and Rin allowed Taisho and Sota to travel with them. Sota was nearing sixteen years of age while Taisho was fourteen. Rin taught Taisho and Sota the sword, while Sesshomaru spent an hour each evening teaching them to control and focus what little yoki they had. The lessons were taught alongside Yuki and Harutoga’s, catching the two boys up to where Sesshomaru’s children were.

Rin struck again, lunging for his stomach, then twirling to slash at Taisho’s neck. She released the whip to wrap around his feet, “move your feet, Taisho!” She threw the whip at him again. It wrapped around his neck and threw the black haired boy to the ground face first. “You have to learn to move your feet faster. Back and forth, never stay in one place. Get up. We’ll go back to hand to hand for now.” A light sheen of sweat ran over Rin’s neck, bubbling down her arms. She wore a short light blue, sleeveless kimono without shoes.

Taisho wore just light blue hikama. His tanned chest glistened with sweat. He bent over to take a drink from his water bottle. Next to them, Sota sparred against Hisato. Hisato slapped aside hijin tesou easily and threw his own blades at Sota. Sota had to duck, jump and twist in the air to miss them. “Like that Taisho,” Rin pointed at Sota.

“He’ll always be better than me. His yoki is stronger than mine,” Taisho complained. At fourteen he was as tall as Rin and he was slowly filling out his thin frame. His hair was still as black as ever just like his mother’s with deep brown eyes. Taisho looked like pictures of Kagome’s brother Sota that she had shown Rin before. No one would suspect that the child was part yokai. His yoki was barely detectable.

Rin chuckled, “come on. I’m completely human. I have no yoki inside of me.”

“That’s not entirely true Rin-sama,” Hisato’s voice was clipped with exertion. He threw his own attack at Sota. He dodged blades again and threw his whip at Sota’s feet, trapping them. Sota fell to the ground with a thud hitting his chin on the ground. The impact caused blood to drip from his chin. “Better Sota, but when fighting yokai you need to remember their strengths and weaknesses,” Hisato held his arm out to help the boy up, “what are my strengths?”

“You’re almost pure blooded. So you’re strong, fast. You can fly, you’re older than me and more skilled with your swords. You can throw blades similar to mine and my fathers…um weaknesses?” Sota raised his eyebrows, “um…you can’t transform?”

Hisato nodded.

“What else?” Sota asked him.

“You think I would tell you?” Hisato laughed. “I can’t heal as quickly as your Uncle. I’m also more vulnerable to blows to the stomach, chest, back and neck.”

“Oh,” Sota picked his sword back up, “so I should aim for those areas?”

Hisato nodded, “if you were fighting your Uncle?”

“Run away,” Taisho said, “quickly…”

“A true warrior knows his limits,” Hisato charged Sota again, “and that means,” he jumped over the boy’s head, “you know when you are beat.”

Rin returned to her lesson with Taisho. “I can’t use the yoki inside of me. Not like you,” she threw a kick at Taisho. He blocked it with his hands. She spun and aimed for his head. He ducked. She threw punch after punch at his stomach. Taisho blocked each one. “I have learned,” she kicked at his face, “to fight on my own.” She spun on the ground to trip Taisho. “So, stop whining,” she grabbed the boy by the back of his arm. She was about to throw him when he turned his hand on her and flushed her wrist with yellow dokkasu. Rin hissed in pain. Her skin blistered. She doubled over in pain, holding her arm, “a fraction of his and it still feels like my arm was just put in a fire.”

Hisato raised a hand to Sota to stop their lesson. He stalked in fury over to Rin giving Taisho a frustrated look. He inspected Rin’s wrist, “he isn’t going to be happy when he sees this.”

Rin smiled, “it gives me a chance to interrupt his meeting.” Her face twisted into a girlish grin. “Next time I say sparring Taisho, I mean without your yokai tricks. You’ll be lucky if Ojisama doesn’t make you cry tonight for this.” She held up her burnt arm.

Taisho swallowed hard. His eyes wide in fear. His fists clenched by his sides.

“Go play you two. I hear the kids laughing in the field. Koga has a few children your age,” Rin pointed to the trees. There was a handful of wolf demon children that followed along with Koga’s contingent. She knew four of them belonged to Koga. The rest belonged to other clan members. Koga’s wolves pulled double duty reinforcing the Southern border and guarding the North. The contingent included a handful of Inu-Yokai loyal to the Lord of the West. Together they were able to keep back the hordes of ogres that continually threatened Sesshomaru’s lands. Of all the Lords, it was only the South that had refused to concede land to Sesshomaru. The West conceded first, followed by the Osprey Yokai of the North, and then the Eastern Leopards demons. The East still posed a risk but not as much as the south.

Somewhere, Rin was sure Yuki and Harutoga were playing with the smaller children. She heard one child counting and saw the rest scattering to hiding places. She breathed a sigh of relief to see Sesshomaru sitting in a yellow field with his silver hair blowing in the wind. He wore his traditional garb. It had been forever since she saw him dressed in the white hikama with the matching white top with red down the sleeves. Hisato fell in line behind her as she stalked towards Sesshomaru. She gritted her teeth in pain.

Rin watched as Sota immediately walked up to a young wolf demoness. Sota lowered his neck slightly and gave the brown haired girl a peck on her cheek. He took her by the hand and led her into the forest. Rin’s mouth fell open. She turned to Hisato, “how long has that been going on?”

“Three weeks,” Hisato chuckled. “You didn’t notice before now?”

“No, I think I need to speak to Sesshomaru.”

“Why?” Hisato slung his swords back into their sheathes on his back.

“It’s not modest. What are they doing in there? Did she bond him? Inuyasha is going to kill us!” Rin rubbed her forehead. “Although, he is fifteen, almost sixteen. I suppose he is of the age.”

“I don’t see the signs of it yet I think, but you would have to talk to Koga-sama about what wolf demons do and of course Gobodo-sama,” Hisato walked behind Rin.

“Why her?”

“He still has Inu-yokai blood in him, even if he is mostly human. There could be negative effects for any children born from such a union. If that is what they are doing.”

“Go spy on them!” Rin pushed Hisato’s shoulder. “Kagome and Inuyasha left them with us to train them, not mate them off to wolf demons!”

“I will not,” Hisato stopped a distance from Sesshomaru.

“Who is she?” Rin held her hand over her eyes to get a better look at the girl. She had long black hair, dark eyes that were nearly black and tanned skin like Koga’s.

“Sayako. I believe she is Koga’s little sister.”

“Great,” Rin threw her pony tail over her shoulder. “How old is she?”

“I assume close to four hundred, if she’s come of age,” Hisato chuckled. “I assume you remember the age difference between yourself and Sesshomaru-sama?”

“I know,” she sighed quietly. “I know.”

“Go on by yourself. You’re upwind from him. He can’t smell you yet,” Hisato stopped by a bundle of bonsai trees.

Rin cradled her arm as she trudged up behind Sesshomaru. It went from a burning feeling to intense stinging. Her skin looked like it was bubbling with thick yellow pus. _Only a fraction of Sesshomaru’s and look what it did to my skin._ She had to hold back tears.

The afternoon sun was warm and refreshing. The air was tepid with a breeze that blew her short sleeveless kimono in the wind. “My Lord,” she said seductively, running the palm of her hand from one shoulder to the other.

Sesshomaru turned with a half grin on his face. His golden eyes glinted in the sunlight at Rin, “my Lady,” he held out his hand to her.

“Am I allowed to approach you now?” She had yet to get used to the rules outside the home. When guests came to their home, she knew she was meant to demur to his wishes in public. She was supposed to smile and speak diplomatically as much as she could. She was good with the wives but often stumbled over decorum with the men. Especially the male yokai who felt it was their obligation to test her strength. Travelling, she had learned she could not interrupt his meetings. The children and their entourage as she called them camped away from Sesshomaru’s main tent. In fact before she traveled with him, he never had a tent. He spent the evenings under the stars. The main tent was used for meetings with the leaders of the Inu-Yokai and Koga. Their tent was for the family, servants and Jaken.

They brought with them Akari who was more than happy to spend two months away from her husband and children. The hanyou fire cat was more than happy to throw her children at her husband for some adventure. Rin was guarded by Hisato, her black haired Inu yokai guard and Hideyoshi, who had the same silver hair as Sesshomaru, but was slightly taller and was far less powerful. The whole family encamped together in one tent. When Sesshomaru wanted Rin to himself, he took her deep into the forest away from prying eyes. The rules seemed different in public like this. She stumbled over most of them.

Sesshomaru had given her an entire lecture on how she represented not just himself but their land as well. That meant that she had to look presentable daily. The children had to be dressed in their best and only when Rin was training her nephews could she wear her plainer shorter kimonos. She found the fancier kimono’s cumbersome and the routine with Akari braiding and twisting her hair exhausting. Sesshomaru encouraged her to train them for all to see. It showed her strength and made her look like less of a target.

“We have taken a recess. The ogres have amassed several miles from here, sit with me,” he reached for her wrist. His fingers coiled around her.

Rin recoiled in pain the moment the tips of his fingers pressed down against the damaged skin. She pulled her blistered wrist away. She held it to her chest, while she sat down cross legged next to him.

His expression changed to concern. His eyes narrowed. He pulled the wrist out of its hiding place avoiding the singed skin, “compliments of Taisho?” he asked Rin.

Rin nodded. She pressed her head into Sesshomaru’s mokomoko. He wore his armor making curling into him uncomfortable. “I came to see if my yokai lover would heal it. It really hurts.”

“I thought you liked your battle scars?” He held her wrist gently in his hand rolling it over to inspect the extent of the damage. The stripes on his wrists brought out the tinge of the singed purple skin.

“Not when they are from shoki and blister and sting. Please my love?” Her voice almost broke at the end. “It really stings.”

Sesshomaru closed his eyes as he pressed his lips against the blistered skin. Rin winced in pain as his lips touched her skin. She could feel his yoki entering her body through their bond. She watched in wonder as the skin changed from a deep blistered purple, to red, to orange, then back to its natural tan color as if the burn had never been there. “Mmh,” she snuggled as close as his armor would allow, “am I allowed to hug you in public?”

Sesshomaru gave a low growl. In a second, Rin was staring at the clear morning sky, while Sesshomaru settled between her legs. He adjusted her hips with his own clawed hands running them up her smooth bare legs and gripping her buttocks. His golden-eyes stared down at her like she was a morsel of food. He let his neck dip and licked her lips before kissing her deeply. He held her by the back of the neck and continued running his mouth along hers until she was out of breath.

“We’re in public,” Rin scolded him.

He hitched her thighs around his hips. He rolled his hips into her thighs as he kissed her neck and stopped short of opening her kimono and exposing her breasts to the morning air. “So?”

“Is this some yokai thing?” Rin tried to wriggle out of his grasp. “The children are watching,” she pushed on his chest.

“Yes,” he pulled Rin back down by the back of her legs. “It lets them know that you are mine,” he raised his eyebrows. “The children are playing hide and seek,” he motioned towards the clearing. “Yuki is causing a stir.” His face creased into a proud smile at the mention of his daughter.

“Get off,” Rin pushed on Sesshomaru’s chest. “Your armor is digging in to my stomach, ah!” She gasped as his tongue dipped between her breasts. Her back arched involuntarily into his face. Rin shivered at the warmth. Sesshomaru’s hand ran under Rin’s kimono and up her side. Rin looked over to see one of Koga’s children trotting towards them. “One of Koga’s children is coming, get off me.”

Begrudgingly Sesshomaru rolled off Rin into a sitting position. He pulled her to his side and kissed the top of her head. “You’re blushing,” he commented as he pulled twigs and leaves out of Rin’s hair.

She struggled to make herself look less disheveled and retie her obi without completely opening her kimono. “You are evil.”

“Yokai,” Sesshomaru reminded her flashing his eyes red long enough to make Rin laugh.

The little boy finally reached them. He was dressed in dark brown furs similar to his father’s. They wrapped up his legs to his knees. The fur covered the boy from his legs up to his shoulders. A small face with dark brown hair and tiny fangs stuck out from a hood. His skin was the same dark brown as his father’s. His visage was thoroughly frustrated. “Sesshomaru-sama! We can’t find Yuki. She’s been hiding for an hour now!”

Rin watched as Sesshomaru stifled a laugh. In public he was as he had always been, stoic, composed, emotionless. She could see the emotions he hid flit across his golden eyes. He was proud of Yuki. Only being half demon meant that she was at a disadvantage and she was still beating the other children at the game. “Keep looking,” Sesshomaru instructed the child. He gazed into the trees in the clearing. 

The child huffed frustrated and ran back to the other children. “Can anyone smell her?” The child called to the other kids.

“Do you know where she is?” Rin scanned the trees and the bushes. She knew Yuki wore a white short kimono that day. She brushed her hair from her face and tried to compose herself.

“Look high in the trees. She’s masking her scent and her yoki. The middle of the clearing,” he placed a hand on Rin’s left shoulder. She flinched in pain, “again?” He rolled his eyes.

She looked back at him, “again,” she answered ruefully. “The weather must changing again, mmmh,” she leaned into the claws running circles over her left shoulder. She looked high in the trees in the middle of the clearing. She could see the slightest bit of white hidden in the yellow and gold leaves. The children would have to climb to find her. To the corner Harutoga giggled and held his stomach. “I think Haru knows where she is.”

“I wonder,” he said as he pulled the side of her kimono down to expose the bare skin of her left shoulder. He traced the scar that ran the length of her shoulder down to her lower back with his finger. His mind flashed to their lost child for a moment. The scar was a constant reminder of what they had lost. He closed his eyes and let his lips rest over the scar, focusing on the ache inside Rin’s shoulder.

“That feels nice.” She felt his warmth spreading across her shoulder easing the pain. “Ow, stop,” she felt something pinch in her shoulder like the bones wanted to rearrange themselves. The yoki pulled back.

He furrowed his brow and sighed, “it won’t heal. I think you broke it all those years ago.” He touched both her shoulders rubbing them firmly.

“The pain is less. You did something.” She leaned back into his chest. “We haven’t had time together like this since we started travelling.”

She waited for him to say something. Sesshomaru’s eyes were on the field watching the children play happily. Rin ran her hand over his chin, her fingers brushed against his stripes. He pulled her hand down and held it in his own.

“You’ve been quiet since your mother visited,” she rest her head against his neck. “Sesshomaru?”

“Mmh?” He stroked her hair.

“You’ve been quiet since your mother visited last,” she repeated herself. “Are we okay?”

He nodded kissing the side of her neck. “The child would have come any day now,” he muttered next to her ear. He touched the scar on her left shoulder. His finger ran over the ridge of the scar.

“I know,” she held his hand. She felt the pain of the loss coming again.

“It’s time we try again,” Sesshomaru informed her, “tonight.”

Rin spun around, “no.” She backed away from him tripping on her own feet.

Her scent spiked in fear. He grabbed her wrists. “I won’t harm you this time,” he pulled her back against his mokomoko, “Rin,” she continued to struggle against his grip. “It’s time we moved on. Mother is right.”

Rin’s eyes stung. She shook her head. “I’m not ready.” She was on her knees resisting Sesshomaru’s grip.

“We try again tonight. Stop struggling against me. This you are not allowed to do in public.” He forcefully pulled her back to his chest again, “stop.” He crossed her arms over her chest and placed tender kisses along her neck. Her body was rigid against his. She breathed heavily.

“I’m not ready,” she whimpered against him. “What if I can’t? What if I lose another baby? What if-?” She was caught off guard by a sensuous kiss and his warm tongue invading her mouth. She caressed the skin on his cheeks and gave into the kiss. A soft moan escaped her lips.

Sesshomaru held her face and wiping away the tears coming from her eyes, “my heart.”

“I hate this,” she touched his heart.

“No,” he said firmly. He would no longer protect her from her own emotions with their bond. His mother was right, the more he allowed himself to feel and allowed her to feel the more the pain subsided. In the days following Rin’s miscarriage, they had both struggled emotionally. He felt the need to be near her at all times, and Rin suffered from panic regularly. He knew that her confidence was shaken. The fire in her faded to barely a flame flickering in the wind. He yearned for it to return. “You gave birth to two healthy children. You were given an herb to make you miscarry and kicked in the stomach. It wasn’t your fault,” Sesshomaru stroked her hair, “we try again tonight.”

“Just like that?” Rin tried to push her tears back.

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered. “Stop stifling your tears,” he wiped her eyes. “Rest against me and let yourself cry.”

“Your armor is uncomfortable,” she whispered attempting to swallow the lump in her throat.

He untied his yellow obi and set his swords next to his legs. Sesshomaru reached to his side and unclipped his black armor. He pulled it off and set it next to him. “Come,” he pulled Rin to his chest. As he did he opened his haori for her to rest against his skin. “Your skin is cold,” he wrapped his arms around her bare shoulders.

Rin teared against his chest, “I’m not ready.”

“Yes you are,” he stroked her hair. He kissed the top of her head.

“Take me home tonight then,” she demanded. “Take me to our hot springs and our sakura tree. Where our other children were conceived?” She wiped her tears.

Sesshomaru lifted her hand to his mouth as Koga walked up to them. “It’s time to start again,” Koga informed Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru inclined his head, “I’ll be there shortly.”

“Take your time. I could use more time with Ayame,” he stalked to his own lover.

“What’s taking so long?” Rin asked him. They had been planning the attack for several days now.

Sesshomaru let out the smallest chuckle, “Koga wants to ensure this Sesshomaru doesn’t take all the glory in battle. And they keep coming in lines. I have yet to explore the South, but we have agreed there is a power behind the ogres. A force that is bringing more and more. No matter how many we defeat, more come.”

“What do you think it is?” Rin pushed his haori away from his stomach. She thread her arms around him, “you’re warm.”

“Perhaps a Dai-yokai. A leader sending them,” he shook his head. “There were stories when I was a child of an Ogre King who lived in the mountains of the South, near the ocean. In the mountains there are caves, and in those caves ogres are born. If the stories are true, then it is the Ogre King this Sesshomaru will challenge.”

“Never ending,” Rin exhaled. “Will we ever know peace?”

“One day. In your lifetime. Do you want me to let an ogre past for you?” Sesshomaru’s chest vibrated with laughter.

“Four,” Rin answered quickly glad that he changed the topic of their conversation. She curled closer into his torso, pulling her feet up to her chest.

Sesshomaru pulled her away from his chest by the shoulders, “four?” He regarded her curiously.

“One for me, one for Sota and one for Taisho,” Rin grinned at Sesshomaru.

“And the fourth?”

“Yuki and Hisato. I think he’s getting bored with nothing to beat up. Perhaps he should train against you,” Rin held Sesshomaru tighter, “your skin is so comforting.” She pressed her nose into the line of his pecs. She nipped at his skin attempting to leave a mark on him.

“Yuki will enjoy that,” Sesshomaru gazed across the high yellow grasses. The children were still hunting for her. He gave Rin a nip on her shoulder in response to hers.

“Ouch,” she batted at his face, “you have fangs.” She reminded him.

“You started it,” Sesshomaru nudged her shoulder. He stood up and closed his haori. Rin untied his obi enough to tuck his white haori back into his hikama. The motion aroused Sesshomaru. She let her hands linger for a moment in the front of his hikama. He held her chin, “I love you. Do you know how deep my love is?”

“Give me your arm,” she was lost in his eyes, her voice low and sensuous. She slid the spiked part of his armor up his left sleeve and slowly clasped the armor on the right side under his mokomoko. She took his yellow obi and retied it outside his armor. She slid his swords back into his belt. She touched his heart with her hand. She closed her eyes focusing on her love for Sesshomaru. She felt his yoki brush against it. The energies intertwined, dancing together. She breathed in deeply, “I love you too,” she hugged him. “They still can’t find Yuki.”

He rest his head against her forehead and held her hands, “I must go now. I’ll let your ogres through. We finish the plan now and attack in two hours,” he caressed her bottom lip. “Do not get injured.”

Rin smiled, “I won’t. Do you really need their help?”

“No,” Sesshomaru pulled Rin back to him. He hid his smile against her neck. “Bakusaiga would clear them in one swipe. They need the help of this Sesshomaru. You will lay with this Sesshomaru tonight,” he circled his claw around her stomach. “I will take you home when the battle is done.”

Rin held the hand against her stomach, “now I’m nervous. I won’t be able to travel with you anymore.”

“No, but I will not leave you for so long again. I will spend more time at home and when our child comes,” he spoke as if she was already pregnant, “I will spend a month at home with you.”

“A whole month, with my memories intact? Sesshomaru?” She refused to release his hand.

“I really must go,” he closed the gap between them, “what is it Rin?”

“I’m lucky to have you as mine,” Rin whispered into his ear, “I love you,” tears stained her cheeks again.

“I am the lucky one,” he bent his neck to kiss her. He held her chin, feeling his stomach tighten. He nuzzled her nose with his own, “I love you. Be prepared.”

Rin waited for Sesshomaru to turn around before she ran and jumped on his back. She wrapped her legs around the back of his armor. He laughed and fell over with her. She tried to roll him onto his back only to end up on her back with Sesshomaru holding both of her arms over her head. He lowered his head and nuzzled her nose. Rin giggled and returned the nuzzle holding onto his neck. He gave her a quick kiss, stood back up to walk towards the planning area.

* * *

Touma observed from the branches of a Japanese cedar. His yoki and scent were masked. His arrogant older brother wielded that damn sword deftly sending shockwaves of green energy that took out fifty ogres at a time. _He’s holding back_ , Touma rolled his only working eye. He licked his fangs, crinkling the scar on his white face. It wasn’t Sesshomaru he was interested in, it was his **_she_** _._ He had fought her before, for mere minutes, that sword of hers, he knew it was made from one of his brother’s fangs. Touma considered it’s origin. It would not be one of his adult fangs, the yoki from that would over power her. She would be unable to wield it. _A baby fang_ , he thought to himself, _or a toddler fang_. It was common for young dog demons to grow and lose fangs often as children until their permanent adult fangs grew in. Touma knew their mother collected them and kept them in a drawer in her room.

There were close to five hundred ogre against the border. Sesshomaru had a handful of pure-blooded dog demons on his side, _loyal to the Western Lord, who acceded lands to my brother._ He gazed on watching as Hisato, his loyal follower came from the trees followed by a much smaller, much younger female hanyou. _So that’s his daughter._ The little girl was skilled, he would allow her that much. She dodged the blows from the ogres that were let through the line of wolf demons. She jumped into the air propelling herself at the ogres head. Her hands glowed green, _he gave her dokkasu. She will be a problem. She isn’t a helpless child. Where is his son._ He sniffed the air, his nose twitching, _nowhere near the battle._ Miles away he smelled an encampment, it was ripe with women and children. His mind filled with ideas of how to make his brother suffer by taking his children, now was not the time. At his full strength Touma lacked the power to defeat Sesshomaru and he knew it.

The golden eye continued tracing the stray ogres, _there she is, his **she**. _The woman was fast for a human and skilled. She easily dodged and blocked the blows from the ogres. She was dressed flashy, Touma observed. She was in a dangerously short kimono that bore a little too much of her legs, with material beneath it he hadn’t seen before, _probably from the Miko friend of hers._ This battle would end shortly. The wolves already had the upper hand. He didn’t care. From his perch, he observed what he needed from them. _The sword can call a whip, the whip varies in strength. I assume she controls it’s power. She uses it to climb the ogres and hack away at their weak spots. Something is missing,_ he crouched, trying to zero in on her. It would be easier if he had the use of both of his eyes. _She sprayed me with dokkasu, but she doesn’t call on it? Is she capable of using it?_

And who are these two? He found two young boys, each fighting their own ogres. Their movements were less sure than the female and her daughter. One had white hair the other black hair. He sensed the faintest amount of yoki from them. One threw blades of blood, at his Ogre lopping it’s head off while the other one’s clawless hands misted yellow. From his distance he could smell it carried the faintest hint of Dokkasu. The younger one, with glowing yellow hands was struggling. _These must be the hanyou’s children. Are they travelling with Sesshomaru now?_ He forced back the need to snarl. The Hanyou had been a problem. If he hadn’t been there, Sesshomaru would have remained dead. _This isn’t good,_ Touma felt something welling in the dark haired one. The more he struggled the more something deep within him began to bubble out. Right as the ogre came crashing down on his head the child let out a battle cry, caught the green ogre by the foot. His hands changed from glowing yellow, to azure, the ogre dissipated beginning with his feet. _Purification power?_ It was stronger than the boy’s yoki, it blasted through the ogre, up the leg into the body leaving nothing behind. The yokai around him backed away afraid. Sesshomaru’s **_she_** ran towards the boy. _He doesn’t even know his own power._

Thirty minutes later the battle was over. Bodies of ogres lay splayed on the ground. The field was covered in their blood. Sesshomaru went to work melting their remains with dokkasu, his little daughter followed him. Touma expected Sesshomaru’s _she_ to do the same. _She must not be able to call dokkasu from the sword at will._ She retreated towards the encampment with the shaken black haired boy, followed by Hisato. _Watch them my loyal follower, watch them. Tell me their weaknesses._

* * *

“Taisho!” Rin called him. “Taisho what was that?”

Taisho fell to his knees shaking. “I…” he swallowed. He looked at his trembling hands that were still glowing. “I don’t know?”

“That’s your mother’s power,” Rin placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Has this happened before?”

“No, I don’t think so. I thought I was done for. I couldn’t move fast enough and then the foot was coming at my face. Ojisama, is going to be upset with me isn’t he?”

“I don’t think so,” Rin grinned. “Just one more talent to call upon. Come on, let’s get back to the family tent. You can rest.”

“Okay,” he stumbled up.

“Keep your distance until you are calm,” Hisato warned him taking a wide berth away from Taisho.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Taisho said.

“I can’t either,” Rin pat his back, “we should send word to your mother.”

“She’s in her time. I can’t get through the well without her,” Taisho resumed staring at his hands.

“Perhaps Miroku-sama should come to train with you for a while then,” Rin suggested.

“A good idea. With that kind of power and being that unstable, it could affect the rest of us,” Hideyoshi fell in line behind Rin.

“Are you two scared?” Rin started laughing. “Good job Taisho, you scared my guards.”

“I can’t control it though,” he argued back as they made it to the tent.

“You will try it again,” Sesshomaru grabbed him from behind by the collar.

“Ojisama, but what if I purify you?” Taisho gulped. “You’re mad about this morning?”

“You lack the strength to purify this Sesshomaru, fight back,” Sesshomaru shoved him into the field. “I will show no mercy.” He picked Taisho up by the collar.

“Sesshomaru go easy on him!” Rin yelled at him.

“What did Taisho do?” Harutoga slid his fingers into his mother’s hand. His hair was getting longer, it went down to just behind his shoulders. The black streak widened at the ends.

“Burned Ka-san’s wrist this morning with his poison. I think Chichiue is going to teach him a lesson now,” Rin folded her arms, “Jaken!!”

“Coming!” Jaken ran out from the tent, “what is it?”

“Warm the fires. It’s getting cold and get Akari to prepare dinner for us,” Rin ordered him. “Come Haru. It’s time to work on your letters.”

“I don’t want to,” he whined.

“Come on,” she tugged on his hand.

He followed annoyed, “can’t I watch Chichiue beat up Taisho?”

“Not this time,” she gave him a good tug again.

* * *

Rain was pouring down on them. Rin buried her face into Sesshomaru’s neck as they flew home. They left the children with Akari and Hisato. After the battle Yuki was exhausted. Sota was practically passing out and Taisho was recovering from losing consciousness from his Uncle scaring the living daylights out of him by transforming and threatening to rip his head off. It was the push he needed to find his spiritual energy again, the blast did nothing to harm Sesshomaru, although he complimented Taisho on the strength. “Perhaps your yoki is so weak, because it is being held back by your spiritual powers,” he commented.

Sesshomaru stayed in their tent long enough for Rin to instruct her maidservant to put Harutoga and Yuki in bed after a bath before he hooked a hand around Rin’s waist and flew into the air, carrying her back to their home. He meant what he said, he wanted her to have another child. Just as he soared into the sky, it covered with clouds and a storm began. Lightning flashed lighting their way and thunder boomed. The raging water beat at his clothes quickly soaking both of them. He had to wrap Rin inside his mokomoko to keep her from slipping through his soaked fingers. She smelled of apprehension and nerves. Sesshomaru purposely landed in their garden next to the red camellias. As predicted, Rin bent down and stroked the earth as if she was touching the lost child’s body. She was dressed in a clean short kimono. The light turquoise accentuated her legs. Her hair fell in pools around her waist as the rain created a puddle under her feet.

Sesshomaru knelt down next to Rin, his own silver hair swirling in the dirt beneath them. He took her by the elbow and pulled her gently, speaking over the thunder and lightning, “come, my heart.” 

The look Rin gave him was of heartbreak, “please, Sesshomaru. I’m not ready.”

“Come with this Sesshomaru,” he tugged on her elbow again. He brought her into their home. He immediately divested himself of his katanas and his armor. He placed them near the door to dry. He threw off his wet clothes. He gazed over his shoulder at Rin, who undressed at a much slower, reluctant pace. He gave his long hair a bit of a shake to get the wetness out, then pulled out a long grey silk kimono. He put it on, tying a black obi around his waist.

Sesshomaru walked up behind Rin and helped her remove her soaked clothing. He reached around her stomach and pulled her against his chest, “we’ll have a bath first,” he kissed her shoulder as he untied her yellow obi. It was the same one he had given her so long ago, “this needs to be replaced.”

“No,” Rin took it from him. The purple was frayed around the edges and the yellow was stained with dirt and mud. She touched his cheek as his lips brushed against her collar bone, “please,” Rin’s voice was thick with tears. “I don’t want to do this. I’ll make love to you, just don’t change, please?”

Sesshomaru removed her turquoise kimono and threw it in the hallway. Even when they were gone, there was staff there to care for the house. He had sent Jaken ahead earlier in the day to prepare their room with clean sheets and remove the bedding from the garden before it was soaked in the rain. Sesshomaru breathed against Rin’s neck as he untied her underwear and let it fall to the ground. He removed a yukata for her, it was light pink and slightly see through, one of his favorites. It allowed him to see the curve of her hips and the peak of her breasts, “put this on,” he helped her step inside and tied the matching obi low on her waist. “Come with me.” He held her hand and led her to their private bath house that was across the hall from their room.

The bath was often used only by Yuki, Harutoga and occasionally Jaken. Even in the winter Sesshomaru and Rin spent time in their hot springs. With it raining it wouldn’t be comfortable for either one of them. Sesshomaru was glad to see Jaken had already filled and heated the water to a warm temperature. Sesshomaru touched the water, and looked back at Rin. Her eyes were brimming with tears. He untied her yukata and held her hand as she entered the water. The bath was a large square, with a ledge for them to sit on. Standing, the water went just below her navel. She went to the back of the bath where the soaps were and started washing her hair. Sesshomaru removed his grey kimono, hung it on the wall and followed in after Rin. He pulled her next to his side, “let me do that,” he kissed the crook of her neck and massaged the soap into her hair.

She leaned into the strong fingers that massaged her temples. The circling motion of his digits made goosebumps form on her shoulders. She sighed in peace allowing him to wash the dirt from her hair. When he finished he took the luffa from the shelf and lathered it in a sweet smelling soap made from the petals of the sakura tree. He rubbed it against Rin’s shoulders, over her back, and then lathered her breasts. His breath catching with the motion, “stand up.” His voice was seductive and thick with lust. He ran the luffa over her stomach creating wide soapy circles. He turned her around pushing her hair over her shoulder, and did the same on her back. He ran his bare hands over the curve of her buttocks.

Rin trembled as he washed her. “Sesshomaru?”

“Quiet,” he stood up with her. He kissed her mouth, pushing his tongue into her cavern, licking the roof of her mouth as he lifted one of her legs up to wash the dirt off. He repeated the motion with the other until Rin was clean and then sat down, pulling her against his bare chest. He took a cup, filled it with the warm water and poured it over her shoulders until the soap was rinsed, leaving her tanned skin slick. He pulled her back over his lap until the crown of her head was in the water. He ran his claws through her hair rinsing the soap. When he finished he pulled her back into his lap and held her against his chest, arms wrapped around her small firm waist. He sighed into her ear, “I smell sorrow, fear, anxiety and arousal,” he pressed his mouth into Rin’s neck. “We can’t mourn the child forever.”

“You could,” Rin’s voice came out as a whisper. She sniffed, “you’ll live long after I am dead. You’ll find another to have more children with.”

Sesshomaru nuzzled her nose, “it is you that I want to make children with.”

“I’m so scared,” Rin wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He returned the embrace. “I feel like I failed last time, like I failed you. I failed the child I couldn’t protect. How was he able to take my mind so easily?”

“If anyone failed it was this Sesshomaru,” he stroked her wet hair. “I should not have left you for so long, so frequently to make you feel so lonely and unworthy. Rin look at me,” he pulled her face back. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours,” she couldn’t get her voice to raise above a whisper.

“It’s time to move on,” Sesshomaru held her to him. “Now it’s your turn to wash this Sesshomaru.”

She laughed through her tears. She took the soap she knew he liked, “how is this here? Did someone know we were coming?”

“Jaken,” Sesshomaru bent his head back to make it easier for Rin to lather his scalp. He let out a sigh of his own that was a mixture between a low growl and a human sounding sigh, “you relax this Sesshomaru with your touches.”

“What could you possibly feel tense about, this is easy for you. You’re not the one that has to carry a child for months on end and go through labor pains,” her hands were stopped by Sesshomaru grabbing her wrists and holding them tightly.

“I am the one that has to control himself, so I don’t hurt you while I plant my seed, the one that has to watch your stomach grow with my child and worry that my enemies will take advantage of our vulnerable time. And be of no use to you, when you scream in pain as you bare my child,” the words came out much faster than Rin had ever heard him speak before. “I do not like seeing you in pain.”

“Then why are we doing this?”

“Because I know you wished for more children and you will regret not trying again,” Sesshomaru released her hands. “And I want to see your confidence in yourself return.”

“I thought Inu-Yokai don’t create children so quickly?”

“In this we follow the human custom, mmmh,” Sesshomaru’s arms prickled in bumps as Rin rinsed the soap from his hair. She slowly poured the water over his crown while running her fingers down his long silver tresses.

“You aren’t useless when I am in labor. You saved my life when Yuki was born,” She took the luffa and put the plain smelling soap on it. She pushed Sesshomaru’s hair over his shoulder and lathered his back in broad circles, “and I thought I had no energy left when Haru was born. The labor lasted so long. The whole time from when the pains started I wanted you there with me, to hold me, just to hear your voice, and then there you were. You presence helped me have the strength to push him out. Your body next to mine afterwards, it felt complete Sesshomaru. It’s one of my happiest memories,” she laced her arms around his chest and licked the back of his neck. “Will you be with me this time?”

“If it’s your wish,” he held her hands. “You haven’t finished,” he turned around to face Rin.

“I know,” she lathered the soap onto his chest. He stood up so Rin could wash his entire body. Her eyes tracked down. She blushed, the red covered her arms and over her abdomen. “H…how,” her lips were locked against his. He took the luffa from her and threw it aside.

“I will know, our bond,” he ran his mouth of her neck while circling her breasts with his hands, “will tell me.”

“It won’t cripple you again?” Rin pushed him back. “I couldn’t bare if you died again.”

“It won’t. I will know that you are experiencing pain. It will not become my pain as it did when the sword connected us. Now there is something I want from you,” he motioned down with his eyes.

She tried to smile. The edges of her cheeks immediately went flat when she saw his eyes shade into a deep red, “you’re supposed to wait until the end.” She backed away from Sesshomaru. Memories from the last time they had done this were still fresh in her head, the only reason she didn’t have scars to show for it over her whole body was because he used his blood to heal her.

Sesshomaru snarled and pulled Rin back to him, his breath was labored, “let me feel your love.”

“My love?” Rin felt confused, his grip was almost painful.

He grit his teeth to maintain control, “your love.” He placed her right hand over his heart. He lowered his head until his moon rest against her forehead, “your love,” he repeated himself.

“Okay,” she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She focused her emotions on how much she loved Sesshomaru. She thought of how he held her between his legs and whispered in her ears as Harutoga was born. She didn’t know what he had said. She couldn’t hear it through her own cries. The way he refused to leave her when the women told him to and how afterwards he held her in their bed for hours while she slept. She felt his yoki wrap around her emotions like a blanket, latching on to them, and heating them.

His breaths came out more evenly, “what are you thinking of?” Each breath was a sigh of relief. His hands held Rin by the elbows. He dipped his mouth into hers.

“Haru’s birth,” she gripped his arms above the elbows. “How happy I was you were there, even if I was in pain.”

“I couldn’t take your pain from you,” Sesshomaru sounded sad.

“But you were with me,” she echoed his tone.

He shook his head as if smelling something Rin couldn’t see, “you’re love is intoxicating.” Sesshomaru could still smell fear on her. “Rin, I am in control,” he encouraged her. “I will not hurt you this time. Your love is soothing.”

She nodded her head, “as is yours,” she sniffled and pushed his hair back over his shoulders so she could kiss his chest. She nipped at his skin, around his pecs, across his chest. She kissed down the ripples of his stomach holding his sides until she was on her knees, eye level with his excitement. She closed her mouth over the tip, and licked the bottom.

“Mmh,” he rocked his hips into her mouth. He let his claws sink into her scalp enough to make her skin tingle.

Rin ran her tongue along the shaft, sucking on the sides, licking over the top until Sesshomaru pulled her back up, his body shaking.

He sat her on the edge of the bath in the corner her body no longer in the water. He lifted her legs up until they straddled the wall. He kissed the inside of her thigh, his teeth grazing along her skin. He kissed her stomach, low beneath her navel, above it and to the side. His hands found the peaks on her chest, squeezing them lightly. He knelt on the ledge and let his mouth find hers. He treated it to the attention she deserved, the closeness of his breath. Their tongues met, her hands wrapped around his shoulders. For a moment he broke the kiss, to hold her to him. “I love you, Rin,” he said so quietly, he wasn’t sure if she heard him.

“I love you,” she replied just as softly.

His mouth fell back down onto her breasts, nibbling and kissing them, until she arched against him. He kissed her neck. His fangs dipped lightly into her skin. He felt the bundle of nerves in his back come alive with need. His mouth continued down her hot wet stomach towards her thighs.

Her breaths came out in short pants the closer his mouth came to her center. He stopped and inhaled the scent of her womanhood letting her curls tickle his nose. In ecstasy he nuzzled her tender bundle of nerves with his nose before he opened her petals and sucked her nub into his mouth. He alternated between fast licks and open mouth kisses that pulled on her nerves.

“Mmm,” Rin moaned. “Sesshomaru,” she encouraged him. “Yes, uh…”

She could feel him smiling against her sensitive parts as he continued. He pushed his fingers into her passage, stroking the top of her core until he found the place that pulled his name from her lips.

“Say my name,” his primal side raged within him. He could feel her love wrapping around the winds that were blowing inside of him. His need to be inside of her, to pound into her were still there.

“Sesshomaru, oh…” Her hips flexed against his fingers.

“Say it again,” he sucked on her bud, only stopping to hear his name.

“Sesshomaru,” she laced her fingers in his hair. She rocked her hips towards his tongue, and the fingers inside of her. She massaged the side of his head willing herself to come for him.

Low growls were coming from his throat. The hurricane was coming. It was whipping against his defenses. He desperately cleaved to the love and trust that was radiating from their bond, the hope, the desperate feeling of warmth that was his Rin. Her moans were getting louder. She slammed her hands against the wall of the bath. “Oh!” she yelled, and then it was followed by shorter and more pleasure filled, deep throated groans as her hips reflexively rocked against his fingers. Sesshomaru kneeled on the sitting ledge.

“I’m scared,” Rin whimpered as his member brushed against her sensitive folds.

“I know,” he moved closer, gripping the sides of her stomach in his hands. “You know I would not force you to do this,” he ran his hand down Rin’s stomach.

“Sometimes, when I dream, I see myself holding the child we lost,” Rin ran her hands along his arms, “I wake up…”

Sesshomaru rest his forehead against Rin’s. He cupped her chin in his clawed hands, “let me give you another baby to fill your arms, to warm your heart.” He followed with an emotional kiss, a plea to give her what he knew she wanted most.

“Take me to bed? Please?” She wanted to be closer to him, to feel him against her.

Red eyes met vulnerable brown ones. She held onto his shoulders, her head hung low on his chest. “Yes, my heart.” His breathing was labored. He picked her up around the waist, closed his eyes for the briefest moment and turned into a sphere of white light. In a flash they were in their bedroom. “Go on all fours.”

“What is it with you and this position?” She looked back at him arching her back seductively.

Her scent was overpowering his senses. “Inu-yokai, you’re so wet,” he touched the inside of her folds cupping her with one hand.

“Sesshomaru?” Rin had never seen him able to speak before when he was channeling his primal energy, “can…” she closed her eyes. Instead of asking she rolled on to her back and inched up to her pillows. She rest her legs on either side of his hips as he kneeled between them, “make love to me like this? I want to see your eyes.”

He stalked over her, lifting her hips to meet his. His hands gripped the pillows over around her head. He was stopped short by a burst of the most enchanting heated emotion flushing from Rin to him through their bond. So strong for a moment it overpowered the primal need for him to reproduce within her. The feeling of completeness, of his soulmate, caused a tear to leave his eye.

In time with the overpowering emotion Rin burst out, “I love you. I love you so much,” she wrapped her arms around his chest. She touched Sesshomaru’s cheek, watching his the emotions flit across his blood red eyes.

He lowered himself into Rin, pushing himself inside of her. He took her mouth in his. “I love you,” thrust, “my heart,” a second firm thrust. “Become one with me,” it was as if the bond was being formed anew. “One soul,” he pushed into her, “our soul.” He stopped, the feeling so overwhelming he was near losing control, “become one with me,” his hips moved at a faster pace, pushing inside her over and over.

“My love,” Rin held on as he unrelentingly moved inside of her. She lifted her hips to meet his. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He slid deeper inside of her.

“Mmmh,” it was so sweet it was almost painful as his seed fled inside of her, never feeling her love stronger for him in the ten years they had been together than in that moment. He crumpled on top of Rin, struggling to find the words to return the intensity of her love.

She cried softly against his chest as he rolled off her. He pulled her to his chest, their legs intertwined, “I love you,” she repeated touching his cheek.

“And I you,” he held her as if his life depended on it.

Moments passed, the two in each other’s arms. “What did you say to me? You said it the night you bonded to me too.”

Sesshomaru paused, his mind went back to the words, _why are they so important?_ That he had not asked his mother. He had not told Rin, but he finally broke down and asked Gobodo-sama how to couple with Rin to create children without hurting her. His mother didn’t fail to humiliate him and make a big deal about him finally asking her. He spent several hours having to listen to her talk about her and his father, then her and Hisato before she finally came down and told him that Rin’s love was powerful enough to calm him. If she could focus it in the moment. “I’m not sure, perhaps it’s part of forming the bond between us.” He rubbed Rin’s back.

She buried her nose into his neck, “we’re already bonded. Why did you say it again?” She scooted her body closer to his.

“I felt something this time, something instinctive,” he touched Rin’s chin and kissed her lips. “Something powerful,” he closed his eyes focusing on the feeling, “as if the bond became deeper with this coupling,” he laced his fingers around Rin’s hand. “I can’t describe it. Your love was stronger than the yoki of this Sesshomaru.”

Rin smiled, “I really do love you. Sometimes it overwhelms me, to feel something so strongly.”

“It was like heaven, something changed. The bond is different,” he tried to explore the feeling he couldn’t understand. He was more aware of Rin than he had been before, more secure in their closeness. There was heat and comfort washing through the bond, trust and something else that didn’t have a name.

Rin touched the scar over his heart with her hand, “let me feel it.”

The feeling bled from him to her, warming her soul from the inside out. They embraced each other on their futon, arms circling waists, legs curled together. “I will never love another as I do you,” Sesshomaru muttered in Rin’s ears as they both drifted to sleep. His yoki was spent for the evening. Sesshomaru only rose from the futon when Rin shivered against him as the night air became cooler. He removed one of their warmer blankets from a nearing trunk and tugged it over her shoulders. He crawled back into bed with her. She instinctively snuggled back into his chest. He shuttered his eyes and allowed sleep to come again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudo or comment if this made you cry? I was so emotional when I wrote this lemon. Oh the calm before the storm. It's coming!


	4. Time Passes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes. Rin and Sesshomaru make a wonderful discovery and Touma plots to sabotage their relationship.
> 
> Sesshomaru will meet Natsuki in the next chapter. Any guesses about what's going to happen?
> 
> Had to get this up now, I have an eight page final due on Sunday!

Rin awoke to the sound of birds chirping and a firm grip around her waist. The sun was rising. The garden glowed with a golden hue. The sun shone behind her sakura tree making shadows out of the remaining leaves on the sakura tree. The air was crisp and slightly cold. She watched as small birds flew in and out of the Sakura tree and onto the ground. She smiled seeing the walls of their room. They had been travelling for nearly two months, it felt good to be home. She snuggled back further into Sesshomaru’s embrace. His chest was hot against her skin, like a summer morning. She wrapped the thick green blanket around her shoulders and buried her nose against his neck. She rolled over so her stomach was facing Sesshomaru and nuzzled his nose to wake him up.

With the touch of her nose against his, a smile and a satisfied groan crossed his lips. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping both arms around her waist.

“Good morning,” Rin wrapped her arms around his chest. “The sun is up. We should have returned already.”

“Mmmh,” was the only answer she received. She was log rolled onto her back against the slightly firm futon with a well-built dog demon nestling himself between her legs. He raised her arms above her head, tamely holding her by the wrists “again,” he flicked his eyebrows at Rin. He kissed the crook of her neck, down her collar bone. Her back arched into the pressure of his lips. She wrapped her legs around his hips. When his face came back his eyes were red again. Rin placed her hand over the root-like scar on his chest, this time it didn’t take thinking of a memory, it was her trust and faith in him.

Sesshomaru sniffed the air, as if there was something there, “I love you,” he pulled her beneath him and spent the morning making love to her before they dressed and returned to the campsite, to their children who were still sleeping.

As they landed back at the campsite, Rin caught sight of Sota with the female demoness again. She pulled Sesshomaru to a stop, “look,” she pointed at Sota holding Sayako’s hand.

Sesshomaru glanced their direction and continued towards their tent.

“Sesshomaru!” Rin hissed at him. “We agreed to take care of them, not let them do… _that.”_

Sesshomaru chuckled, “and what’s wrong if they do _that?_ ” He pulled Rin to his chest. “We do _that.”_ His laughter tickled her neck.

“They aren’t married,” Rin’s neck flinched as he ran his tongue along it.

“Neither are we,” Sesshomaru reminded her. “Neither were his parents.”

Rin blushed, “how did you know that?”

He touched his nose, “it has its own smell.” He sniffed in the direction of Sota and the female. “They have not…yet, but she wants to. He is nervous. Perhaps I will speak to him,” Sesshomaru let go of Rin’s hand stalked towards Sota.

“Good,” Rin sighed in relief, for all of a few seconds before Sesshomaru’s words played back in her head. “No you don’t! I know what you are thinking!” She ran over and stopped him. “You’re going to tell him how to, aren’t you?”

Sesshomaru turned to Rin with a half grin on his face, “you think he doesn’t know how to?”

“Don’t you dare encourage it!”

“Encourage what?” Sesshomaru pulled Rin to him again, “to do this?” He ran his mouth along her neck, “or this?” He lapped at her collar bone until goosebumps prickled her skin. “Or this?” He held Rin so tightly to him none would see the hand that wandered up her thigh or hear the moan that he trapped in her mouth with his own fiery kiss as his hand cupped her sex. “He’s a man, not a child.”

“And our…” Rin gulped as Sesshomaru’s mouth went over her shoulders pushing back the material of her kimono, “n…n…nephew, kami,” she whispered.

Sesshomaru sniffed Rin’s neck and sniggered against it, “now who wants it?”

“You’re evil,” she shook her head.

“Yokai,” he reminded her. “Go to the children before I can no longer resist the scent you are giving off.” He steadily strode to Sota.

Rin attempted in vain to adjust her kimono so she didn’t look so disheveled and ignored the uncomfortable heat he lit in between her legs. _They’re going to kill me. I can’t even write them a letter to tell them what is happening!_

* * *

**Five Weeks Later**

Within weeks Rin had a sudden wave nausea as she sat in the clearing watching Yuki and Harutoga play with Taisho and Sota. Yuki was showing Taisho and Sota how to mask their scent, to keep her from being able to find them. Harutoga told them, he could find Yuki, even if she was masking her scent. Nearby Sayako gazed in adoration at the silver-hair quarter-demon. Rin sighed, the conversation with he and Sesshomaru had revolved around the importance of making the bond. The other yokai were keeping their distance from Taisho. His spiritual powers had not shown themselves again. They only did when Sesshomaru pushed him to his limit. They spoke often about what to do with him. At some point he would need to train with Miroku or return with his mother to learn how to control his power.

The nausea came again. Rin gripped her stomach and covered her mouth. She ran as fast as she could for the nearby river. She stumbled before she made it landing on her hands and knees. Her morning breakfast of rice and mushrooms came flying out of her mouth splattering on the ground and on her hands. She coughed in between gagging and held her stomach. “I forgot how much I,” more food came up from her mouth, “hate this part.” When she was finished she sat back on her haunches in attempt to catch her breath. She touched her stomach in disbelief. “Sesshomaru!” She called. She knew she was late. Her cycle should have started the week before.

He was in a meeting with the wolves. They spent the entire two months travelling with them form border to border pushing ogres, bears, snakes, whatever yokai was attempting to invade their territory back. The snakes proved to be more of a challenge and were stronger than the last time she had fought them. They were still of little consequence to Bakusaiga and were dispatched of quickly.

Rin didn’t care that he was in a meeting. She groaned and pulled herself off the dried yellow grass. She wavered slightly as she walked to the river to wash her face and hands. “Come on my love, I know you can hear me all the way over there. Sesshomaru!” Rin came to the river bank and knelt down next to the rushing water. She washed her hands and face. She knelt down gathering some of the water in her hand. The cool water helped to steady her stomach. She rinsed the vomit from the sleeves of her kimono, “Sesshomaru!” A gust of air swept passed her.

“What is it?” She heard the deep tenor from behind her. There he was silver hair blowing in the air, golden eyes and a wrinkled nose. “You threw up?” His eyes widened, “are you?”

Rin stood up and walked to her lover tripping on twigs and leaves on the way, not really believing it herself, “yes,” she whispered, “I think so.”

Sesshomaru’s smile warmed Rin’s neck, “see, there is nothing wrong with your body.”

“I’m only a month along,” she reminded him.

Sesshomaru nuzzled Rin’s nose. He let his hand run circles along her stomach, “five or six to go then,” he picked Rin up and flew over the river and hid her behind a group of trees and high bushes. He lay Rin down and pushed her obi up to part the bottom of her blue kimono. He touched the mound of skin just above her lacy underwear, the lace took him off guard and the low rise of the hips, “what is this?” He touched her panties. He pinched the hem of the crotch in between his fingers.

“From Kagome-sama’s time, do you like it?” Rin wiggled her hips.

“I will like them better off,” he ran his finger down the hem of her panties causing her to flex her hips. He pressed his lips to her abdomen, “another baby,” he tickled her stomach with her nose. He rose over her and kissed her lips, “my heart, you are a fertile woman.”

“And you are a virile man,” Rin laughed.

“I’m not a man,” his tone was tender, and ended in a laugh as he held her face.

“No,” Rin agreed stroking the hair from his eyes, “your my demon lover.” She accepted the warmth of his mouth against hers, “make love to me.”

He unclipped his armor and tossed it aside. Sesshomaru ignored the calls from the other side of the river. Koga, Ginta and Hakaku were looking for him. He divested himself of enough of his garments to roll onto his back and nudge himself inside of Rin. He opened her kimono while she opened his haori. He pressed his thumb against her sensitive area, drawing out low moans. Rin rocked against his hips as he made sweet, slow love to his soulmate. He drank in her love as if it were the depth of his soul as he poured his emotions into each kiss, each stroke of his tongue and each thrust of his hips into hers. He stifled her moans with his own mouth and wiped the happy tears from her eyes. When they both came in euphoria, he held Rin against his chest.

“I guess this means I have to go home?” Rin lay against Sesshomaru, her kimono still around her shoulders. Her feet were splayed on either side of his hips.

“Yes. You leave before the next battle begins,” Sesshomaru rubbed the side of her abdomen.

“Come home tonight?” Rin tilted her neck for him to kiss.

“It may be late,” he whispered in her ear, he held Rin’s hand in his own, “but I will be there. I love you,” he nipped at the lobe of her ear.

“My home,” she turned her head to capture his lips.

“My heart.”

“What are you two doing?” Somehow Yuki had made it across the river. She tilted her little head to the side and wiggled her ears, “what’s that funny smell.”

Rin ducked her head into Sesshomaru’s ear to hide her open kimono, his half dropped hikama and exposed chest. “Don’t you dare explain it to her,” she whispered in his ear. “Hugging, we’re hugging,” Rin tried to hide her laughter. She could feel him vibrating against her open chest.

“With your kimono open?” Yuki wondered.

“Oi! Yuki-chan is he over there?” Koga called laughing.

“Yeah, he’s with Ka-san, they’re…what are you doing?” Yuki asked again, her nose wiggled in the air.

“Yuki,” Sesshomaru bent his head backwards, “go tell Koga, that I will return soon.” He cupped Rin’s breast in his hand, giving her nipple a firm squeeze.

Rin flinched against his hand and glared at him, trying not to squirm.

“Ok,” Yuki stared at her parents like they were crazy. “You smell weird.”

Rin released a tense breath, “we should have gone farther into the forest. Are they gone?”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru pushed Rin up. He closed her Kimono first and handed her, her obi.

She pulled the front of his pants up and tied them. He handed her the lacy panties frowning.

“You sliced my underwear?”

“It took too long to take off,” he pulled Rin’s mouth back to his. “Return to our tent. Have Akari pack yours and the children’s things. Hisato and Hideyoshi will return with you. You will take Taisho with you, send for the monk to work with him. When the snows come I will send Sota to you.”

“What about his female?” Rin sniggered.

“I spoke with Koga, they have not made love yet. Sota needs greater control of his yoki before he can create a bond with her. He will remain with me, in order to learn to control it and to spend time with her.” Sesshomaru tickled her stomach.

Rin rose off his legs smiling. She smoothed her kimono. “My stomach is upset.” She rubbed her abdomen, grumbling.

“It will pass, as it did with the others,” he reminded her.

* * *

**Two Months Later**

**Winter**

The pregnancy wasn’t without its’ complications. By the time Rin was three months, instead of the morning sickness lessening as it had with Yuki and Harutoga, it was so bad she couldn’t get out of bed. Any movement caused her to gag. Hisato stood outside her door with his hand over his nose and his own stomach churning at the scent coming from the room. Atsuko busied herself trying to find soups that Rin could keep down, and teas that she wouldn’t throw back up. Even Yuki and Harutoga avoided their parents room.

Sesshomaru landed lightly in the public entrance of their home. His face was stoic and emotionless as always. Inside he felt disappointment as he surveyed the entrance. Jaken came scurrying up to him, Nintojo in hand, “Sesshomaru-sama, welcome home!”

“Chichiue!” Harutoga came bounding up to his father. He pounced into his father’s arms, bringing a half grin to Sesshomaru’s mouth.

Yuki was absent for the first time. She had never missed his homecoming in the past. Sesshomaru glanced around. Akari was also missing, not that he cared but then who had been watching Harutoga? Hideyoshi leaned arms folded with one leg bent against the wall. The sentinel was a guardian not one of the trusted adults who were meant to watch his children. He glanced at the sky, it was clear, without a moon, “where is Ka-san?” Sesshomaru asked Harutoga.

“In bed, she stinks,” Harutoga waved his little hand next to his nose.

“She is agitated,” Sesshomaru said half to himself. He could feel it through their bond. Rin was anxious and nauseated. “It hasn’t subsided?” He looked at Jaken.

“It’s worse. She hasn’t been able to keep anything down in the last week. She has lost weight,” Jaken walked with Sesshomaru towards the entrance. “She won’t let anyone but Atsuko and Akari into the room. Akari that ungrateful hanyou. She didn’t show up for work today, so poor Atsuko has been here all day, scrubbing the floor and changing the buckets. She’s exhausted from cleaning up after Rin,” they made it into the public dining room.

Sesshomaru smelled the scent of sickness coming already. The putrid smell of vomit. He set Harutoga down and handed the child a wrapped package.

Harutoga opened it excited, inside was a bag of sweet rice, “Thank you Chichiue!” He hugged his father’s leg.

Sesshomaru continued into the corridor with Harutoga trailing along behind him. “Yuki won’t come out of her room either,” Harutoga informed his father. “She’s been crying since the sun started setting. It stinks. Why is Ka-san so sick?” Harutoga asked his father.

“She didn’t tell you?” Sesshomaru stopped. He was home three days before and they had discussed telling the children, but Rin wanted to wait until she was no longer sick. She also wanted to wait until she passed the time where she had previously miscarried. He stopped short next to Hisato.

Hisato breathed uncomfortably with his hand over his nose and his head down, “I’m sending for your mother, something is wrong.”

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at him, “unnecessary. Open the entrance down the hall,” he instructed the guard. He wanted to take a deep preparatory breath for what he would find inside the room, but the stench was overpowering his senses. It was sour, and raunchy. Harutoga followed behind him holding the material of Sesshomaru’s leg. Sesshomaru knocked on the door. He opened it slightly, “my heart,” he pushed the door open all the way.

Rin lay in a daze in their bed. Her purple lavender yukata was soaked in sweat. She shivered underneath her blankets. Her skin was deathly pale, a clean empty bucket rested inches from her head. The smallest mound protruded from her yukata. Her eyes opened slightly. She looked thin and weak, thinner than he would have preferred she look. She craned her neck to the side. “Sesshomaru…son of Inu No Taisho,” she whispered weakly, “I hate you.” There was the slightest hint of humor in her voice.

“Ka-san, you’re smelly,” Harutoga got in bed with his mother. “Why are you so sick?”

Sesshomaru opened the door to their garden and the windows. Rin curled tighter into a ball. “What are you doing? It’s cold,” she shivered.

Sesshomaru hoped his sleeve over his nose would clue her in. “Jaken!” He yelled down the hall.

Jaken came running, Nintojo already flaming, “I know Sesshomaru-sama. I’ll warm the room. This Jaken is so excited!”

Sesshomaru nodded towards the fire in agreement. He pulled the covers off of Rin, who protested against him. “I am airing the room out,” he answered her. He took out a warm red cotton blanket from the trunk and wrapped her pale lover inside of it.

“Don’t move me,” she protested as his arms wrapped around her waist and hoisted her up, “I’m going to throw up on you.”

“You’ve done it before,” he replied quickly carrying her out into the foyer to their garden. “You need fresh air.”

She wasn’t lying. As soon as he moved her she started heaving. Sesshomaru stopped long enough to help her lean over. The vomit splattered on the foyer. Harutoga jumped out of the way still following them. It was mostly dry heaves with a watery substance. Sesshomaru frowned, “have you eaten?”

“I try,” she whimpered. “Why did I let you do this to me again?”

He sat down with Rin under their sakura tree. The air was already cooler in the evenings. She trembled against him. He put her head against his chest and wrapped her in his mokomoko for warmth. “Is there something you can eat? You need a bath.”

Rin whispered frailly, “I was able to eat some deer meat the other day, and ginger root soup. I threw the soup up this morning though,” she held onto his arm. She felt his lips brush against the side of her neck. “Don’t get any ideas.” She touched his heart, “please? I haven’t slept in days. My hands won’t stop shaking.” She needed the warmth of their bond, the heat of their connection.

Sesshomaru nodded. He opened their bond and sent waves of comfort and warmth into Rin. She sighed against him, her body relaxing. “You’re back hurts,” he rubbed it gently.

“Why is she sick?” Harutoga jumped onto his father’s shoulder.

“Harutoga,” Sesshomaru loosened his obi, and unclipped his armor. He slid it off with one hand, the other holding Rin, “take Chichiue’s katanas and armor into our room. Tell your sister to come outside. We should tell them,” Sesshomaru encouraged Rin. He soothed the ache in her back with his yoki. He could almost taste the illness on his tongue, “HISATO!”

Hisato walked in through their room, “yes Sesshomaru-sama?”

“Send Taisho and Sota to bring a deer back for Rin and have the kitchen prepare it,” Sesshomaru commanded him.

Hisato shuffled his feet, “they won’t leave their rooms either Sesshomaru-sama.”

Harutoga came screaming out of the room with his hand on his cheek, “Yuki scratched my face!” he cried.

“Did the whole house go mad in my absence?” Sesshomaru felt frustrated, “where is Akari?” Akari was often the only one that could handle Yuki’s moods.

“It’s her time of the month,” Rin softly muttered from under his chin. “Come Haru, let Ka-san see,” she motioned her son to her.

“ _That_ is not an excuse,” Sesshomaru growled.

“Not cycling. She won’t leave her home on the new moon,” Hisato told Sesshomaru. “I’m sure you aware that hanyous become human once a month.”

“Not human dear one. Their yoki simply becomes latent,” Gobodo-sama waltzed up behind Hisato and nibbled his neck, “my…my…look at you two. Where is Yuki?”

“I told you not to send for her. Mother leave,” Sesshomaru growled at Hisato. His eyes flashed red.

Harutoga finally stopped crying in Rin’s lap. She moved his hand away from his face. Worry creased her face, “Sesshomaru look,” she held Harutoga’s face. The scratches were barely deeper than the first few layers of skin.

Sesshomaru looked at the scratches, his mouth went dry. He stood up, gently setting Rin against the Sakura tree. Rin’s face was still white as snow as she leaned against the dark bark, wrapped in the blanket. “Hisato, find someone in this house capable of bringing Rin a deer, who isn’t suffering from humanity.” He walked through their room into Yuki’s. He heard her crying. There was a lump under the blanket that shook, “Yuki come out,” he said harshly.

“Go away!” she yelled from under the covers.

“Yuki,” he pulled the cover off her form, revealing a black haired, brown eyed little girl.

“Don’t look at me!” She covered her face, “I’m ugly!” Her nails were short and human like. Her wrist stripes and face stripes were gone. Her forehead was mark-less, “I’m ugly!” She yanked the blanket back over her head.

“Oh, you’re not ugly,” Gobodo-sama came into the room. She knelt next to Sesshomaru, “honestly, you would think you would talk to her about this, to avoid this kind of reaction.”

“I told you to leave,” Sesshomaru snarled at his mother.

“I was summoned,” she argued back. “Come out little one.” She reached under the blanket and hefted Yuki out by the wrists. “Let me look at you,” she held Yuki up, “stop squirming. That’s it, let me see,” she stroked Yuki’s cheek and smiled, “you look like your mother.”

“I’m an ugly human,” Yuki folded her arms.

“The change isn’t permanent Yuki,” Sesshomaru told her.

Gobodo-sama gave Sesshomaru a fierce glare, followed by an eye-roll. “ _The change isn’t permanent?_ That’s what you say when you’re daughter says she is ugly?”

Sesshomaru glared at his mother.

“You should be telling her how beautiful she is regardless,” Gobodo-sama said furiously.

“She is beautiful. I merely wanted her to understand that this change is only for the night,” Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

“I’ll look normal tomorrow morning?” Yuki asked hopeful.

“Yes dear,” Gobodo-sama stroked her cheek, “now come out into the garden so I can see why this pregnancy is making your mother so sick.”

“Pregnancy?” Yuki glanced from her grandmother to her father. She took a hand from each one and walked between them back to the garden. “She has a baby in her belly again?”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered proudly.

“When is it going to come out?” Yuki let go of their hands and ran into the garden. Sesshomaru followed. He sat behind Rin and pulled her against him again.

Gobodo-sama knelt down in front of Rin. She touched Rin’s stomach lightly with one clawed hand then looked in Rin’s eyes. “Sooner than the rest, I’ll be impressed if you make it to five months.”

Rin’s stomach cramped, “is something wrong? Yuki, look at you. You look like me,” Rin smiled adjusting the blanket around her.

“Haru, there’s a baby in Ka-san’s stomach. You’re going to be a big brother!” Yuki clapped her hands.

“Yuki, you look funny,” Harutoga wiggled his cat-like ears on top of his head.

“Shut up Haru!” Yuki raised her hand nails extended again.

Rin caught her hand, the movement alone made Rin start gagging again, “do not,” she coughed holding her stomach, “hit your brother. I’m going to be sick again.”

“Why not? Chichiue hits his!” Yuki stomped her foot.

Rin scowled at Sesshomaru holding back her roiling stomach, “see the example you set. I need something to drink,” Rin collapsed into Sesshomaru’s embrace.

“The yoki is strong. Stronger than the other two. It doesn’t account for the sickness. This is a human condition,” Gobodo-sama touched Rin’s forehead, “relieve her of some of the nausea and ensure she eats and drinks Sesshomaru. Where is that Miko?”

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. He placed his hand over Rin’s stomach. A curious sensation washed over him as he allowed his yoki to sooth her stomach. “In her own time,” he answered his mother. “Hisato, why aren’t Taisho and Sota coming out of their rooms.”

“The transformation lasts longer for them,” Rin pressed her face into his Mokomoko. “Taisho usually lasts for ten days and Sota a week. They feel self-conscious around their pure blooded Oji-sama. Hisato, this doesn’t happen to you?”

“Occasionally I find myself weakened, but I never revert to a human form,” he answered. “I will send Sato to find Rin a deer.”

“I’ll go get you water Ka-san,” Yuki got up and kissed her mother’s cheek.

“Mother if you want to be of some use, return to Rin’s childhood village and ask the hanyou Jinenji for herbs for Rin’s stomach,” Sesshomaru asked annoyed.

“Of course, I will return with all haste,” she lit into a giant ball, then flew into the sky in her true form.

“How did the baby get in there?” Harutoga asked. “You’re tummy is fatter.”

Rin chuckled while putting a hand over Sesshomaru’s mouth, “we’ll tell you when you are older.”

Sesshomaru removed her hand, “he can’t know now?” He tilted his neck down to kiss her.

Rin pushed his head back. “ewww, don’t kiss me! You taste like rotten fish,” she groaned holding her stomach.

It was Sesshomaru’s turn to groan in discomfort. It would be a long few months until the baby came. “Hisato resume your post outside. I’m going to wash you,” Sesshomaru informed Rin.

“It’s too cold out here,” she moved further into his embrace.

“Then inside,” he said.

“I’ll throw up again, please don’t move me. Can you stop breathing?” She touched his chest.

He chuckled lightly, “come, I’ll wash you in the hot springs. Yuki, Harutoga go ask Jaken to warm blankets for Rin and one of her warmer kimono’s.”

“Fine,” Rin sighed, “as long as you hold me. Have Jaken bring a bucket for me next to the hot springs.”

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

Rin’s pregnancy continued on. When Sota’s transformation was over, Sesshomaru requested that he take Aun back to the village, go through the well and inform Kagome that Rin was expecting and that she was incredibly sick. He hoped something from her time would settle Rin’s stomach. The herbs from Jinenji helped her keep what she ate down, but she still threw up so often afterwards she was bedridden. Sesshomaru attempted to return home every other day in an attempt to ease her nausea. Sota returned with a package of strange white things that Rin had to swallow with water. Jaken practically lived inside the room when Sesshomaru was gone warming pot after pot of mint tea and ginger tea. Sesshomaru sent a letter with Sota informing Kagome and Inuyasha of Sota’s relationship with the wolf demoness and that it was possible a pairing would happen soon.

During the second week of the third month of her pregnancy, a sensation hit the back of Sesshomaru’s awareness as he fought a field full of ogres so hard it nearly distracted him. Rin was happy about something, and whatever it was sent waves of affection through him. The feeling was, warm, deep and yearning as if she wanted him there. He had purposely been avoiding sending a large blast of Bakusaiga through the fifty ogres to practice his forms. However, as soon as the emotion hit him, he dispatched them with one swipe. “Hey! Inu-Kuro!” Koga yelled from below, “you ended it too soon!”

Sesshomaru smirked, rolled his eyes and called, “this Sesshomaru will return at sunrise. Meet me at the Southern border.” The alliance with the wolves was perhaps one of his most fruitful dealings. He closed his eyes, sensing Rin’s direction. He was too far away for scent alone to lead him. The night air was cool against his skin. It was curious that the chill would freeze both Rin and his children but caused little more than a tickle against his skin.

He called upon the full extent of his yoki, disappearing into the white orb of energy towards his home. He landed in the garden. It was the middle of the night, the moon was high in the sky casting a pleasant glow onto their hot springs. The sakura tree splattered shadows onto the white ground. In his absence snow fell into their garden. He knocked softly on the turquoise door, “my heart?” He whispered, not wanting to wake her.

“Sesshomaru?” She called back, “come in quickly, I can feel the baby moving!”

He was immensely happy the room no longer reeked of sickness. He unclipped his armor as he entered letting it clank against the marble floor along with his swords. He untucked his haori baring his cream colored, well defined abs. His cheeks tweaked into a smile as he saw Rin laying in their bed with her hands on her belly. She rest on her side, with one side of a light blue yukata pulled away. Her round stomach protrude from the opening. Sesshomaru lay down behind her and placed his hand over her cantaloupe sized stomach. Rin nuzzled into his back and rest her head against his mokomoko laced arm. He felt limbs reaching out to him, beating at his hand. A pop here, a push there. Her skin was soft against his hand. “Is this what I felt?”

Rin yawned sleepily. Her hand rested on top of his, “I was sleeping and then I felt it move, kiss me.”

“Are you sure?” She had spurned him so often lately. “Do I stink of rotten fish again?”

“I’ll survive, now kiss me,” she grabbed the side of his hair and pulled his lips down to hers. She sighed when his tongue entered her mouth intensifying the kiss.

He withdrew after only a moment and rest his forehead against hers. He breathed in her scent, soft like morning dew and flowers, “my heart,” he simpered in her ear.

“Mmmh, my love,” she awkwardly rolled onto her back, then flopped ungracefully onto her other side. Her stomach pooched against his. “I wanted you here, the moment I felt the baby move.”

He arched his eyebrow and cupped her chin, he dared to kiss her again, sucking on her bottom lip, “I know. This Sesshomaru felt your yearning,” he sniffed the air. His face changed to surprise, he smelled Rin’s neck. Her scent was quickly changing to a hot summer morning, a scent he hadn’t smelled in months. It was aromatic, intoxicating and called to him. He tested his luck and kissed her again, pulling her closer to him. Little hands and feet protested against the nearness, pushing back on him. He rolled onto his back and pulled Rin on top of him.

“I can’t bend over very well,” she laughed trying to reach his lips.

He rolled her back onto her side. He nuzzled her nose softly. He untied her yukata, baring her engorged breasts. His breath caught, they had increased in size, something about seeing her stomach swollen, made him harder. He was cautious as he slid the yukata off her shoulders. The immense feeling of love and trust surged through their bond emboldening his touches. He kissed her neck, she moaned holding his cheek. He kissed over her collar bone, down the center of her breasts. “You are so beautiful,” he muttered in the dark.

“I love you,” she touched the scar on his chest. “Make love to me?”

“Yes,” his voice was as quiet as hers. He held onto one of her breasts and rolled her nipple in his hands. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” Rin pulled his face up to hers. She pushed his haori off his shoulders gazing at his perfect body. She ran her fingers down his chest, over the bumps on his stomach stopping just at his hikama. “Come closer,” her voice was soft, full of lust and adoration.

He walked on his knees closer to hands, he placed them on his obi and smiled as she untied them. He lay down next to her, his hardness pressing against her leg. He touched her stomach, again feeling the life pushing against his fingers. “Another strong child.”

“When did you first know you loved me?” Rin asked him.

Sesshomaru’s mouth came down on her own, he ran his hand down her back, over her thighs pulling her top leg over his hip. “Sixteen, but the idea came to me when you were fifteen, after that kiss you placed on my lips as a dare,” his kissed her for affect. “The night of the full moon,” he held her back and pulled her closer, grinding his shaft against her.

“I knew at fourteen,” she whispered quietly.

“I know, you’re heart beat faster when I landed. You blushed, your scent changed. You spoke of me in your sleep,” with each sentence he caressed a different area of her body, her breasts, her stomach, the inside of her thighs. He chuckled remembering the time he was sure she was dreaming of what they were doing. He had heard her say his name while she smelled thoroughly aroused and moaned in her sleep. He touched her tenderly between her legs, dipping into her core, stroking her bud.

“Mmmh,” she moaned pulling herself closer to him, she gripped his shoulders, “oh,” she groaned. “Oh…I forgot how good this feels.”

He lifted one of her breasts in his mouth sucking just enough to make her arch into his fingers. She gripped his arms tighter. She hit her peak faster than he expected. He braced her lips with his own stopping the giant moan from being heard by everyone in the house. He started laughing when she went limp in his arms.

“What are you laughing about?”

“Roll over,” he instructed her. “Or do you want to be on top?”

Rin rolled over and lifted herself onto her hands and knees. Sesshomaru came up behind her and pulled her legs wider apart, placing his hand on the small of her back, encouraging her to arch her back more, “yes,” he moaned as he pushed himself inside of her. She was hot, warm and wet, “okay?” he asked her. He looped his hand between her legs.

She nodded and rocked her hips against his. He pushed against her hips losing his composure with each thrust. All he could think was how long it had been since she had allowed him to do this, how sick she was for the last six weeks, and how amazing she felt gripping him. “Rin,” his voice groaned as he came inside of her, panting. He lay down on his side inviting Rin to cuddle against him. “My Rin,” he moved her hair over her ear. “I love you,” he sighed.

“Help me sleep?” she asked him. In the moonlight through the window, he finally saw the dark circles under her eyes.

“What is it? What’s stopping your sleep?”

“Everything hurts. My back, my legs, my feet, my sides and I wake up feeling sick after only a few hours. I want more pillows,” she muttered against him.

He lifted Rin up and laced his mokomoko beneath her head and between her legs. “I will bring you more pillows,” he touched her cheek. He reached out into her body with his yoki, letting it fill every inch of her. She was in pain. “My heart,” he scooted closer, “you ache everywhere.” He soothed her aches, his yoki ebbed away at her agony.

"This pregnancy is harder,” she sniffed back a tear. “I’m…I’m trying to be brave, confident, the way you want me to, it’s just harder. I’m so tired, and my muscles hurt all the time. Atsuko and Akari help by massaging, but I can’t soak in the hot springs. It’s too hot and I can’t find a comfortable position to sleep and my dreams,” she shook her head. “It’s like my mind is taunting me. I dream that the baby is gone, like with…”

“Shhh,” he stopped Rin with a finger on her mouth. “I’ll stay with you tonight. This child is strong, I can feel it,” he nuzzled her neck, “sleep my heart.”

“I wish you could stay every night,” Rin said softly.

“I will try to come more often,” he encouraged her. _I can’t come everyone night._ He pursed his lips thinking how he would come more often. As it was, he was only away every three days as they had originally agreed. There were lulls in solidifying the borders and meetings. Sometimes they lasted hours, he could come during those times. “I will try to come home once a day,” he kissed Rin’s cheek, “to soothe your pain, and help you sleep.”

“Mmh,” she answered already half asleep. “Sing to me.”

“Sing?”

“Yes.”

“This Sesshomaru doesn’t sing,” he ran his hand up and down her side.

“Then tell me a story, I want to hear your voice. Tell me the day we met,” her voice was quickly fading.

Sesshomaru complied and slowly told her the story of the day they met. Two sentences in, Rin snored and drooled on his mokomoko. He stopped talking and held her to him, “my heart,” he whispered one last time as he shut his own eyes, allowing his body to rest, not sleep.

* * *

Touma sat outside the barrier. He crouched in the snow. His hair was loose around his shoulders. He toyed with the white shield with his halberd. He giggled with glee when it caused lightening to flick, “come to me Hisato, come…” He sang to himself. “He’s coming and going more often. What is happening behind this barrier?” He slammed his Halberd into it, causing electric lights to flicker as it rejected his entrance. “He’s not home right now. HAHAHA,” his laugh was malicious and howled across the wind. It was dark, the middle of the night, the stars were blighted by puffy grey clouds.

Hisato landed behind Touma, “you shouldn’t do that. If it wasn’t me, your plan would be exposed.”

“How did the Healer bring the barrier down? I should have attacked then, but my dear brother, he’s too powerful for me,” he cocked his head to the side. He licked the tip of his blade.

“Dark magic, we think,” Hisato replied. He crossed his arms. “What do you need?”

“He’s coming and going more frequently. What is happening?”

“She’s expecting,” Hisato’s voice was flat and emotionless.

“How far along is she?” He sniffed the air.

“Almost four months.”

“Why does he return to her so frequently?”

“She is ill often,” Hisato began pacing, “this is not the place for this kind of meeting.”

“Are you afraid he will return? Discover your treachery?” Touma laughed again, “you would be dead before your hands met your sword. I only have a few more questions. How long were her other two pregnancies?”

“Seven months I believe with Yuki. I was not in his service then and Harutoga was six months.”

“Has mother been by?” Touma knew that Gobodo-sama would predict the birth within days. She was gifted like that. She saw beyond. She would know how long this one would be.

“Yes, frequently. She seems invested in this pregnancy,” Hisato adjusted his weight onto his other foot.

“Did she say when the child would come?”

“Five months.”

“Soon…so soon,” Touma stood up, “so soon,” he whispered to himself.

“Am I to continue to fly blind, or will you let me in on this brilliant plan of yours?”

Touma started laughing again. “Wait and see Hisato…wait and see. Continue your ruse,” he flew into the air. “And I will continue mine,” he said to himself.

* * *

He soared towards the West. It didn’t take Touma long to find the girl that he had sought before. The sun was rising, the night was fading. Her white skin reflected off the lake by the manor that had once belonged to Inu no Taisho. In the last few months it had been largely demolished and re-built into a large edifice. The West still remained the home to the vast majority of Inu-yokai. They lived in the mountains and valleys or in the sky with his mother. Touma imagined himself with Natsuki, she looked fresh and enticing. He stifled his emotions, his rage. In one month he would go to Kyojin, the Ogre King again and encourage him to send another mass of Ogres to assault the southern border. “Natsuki, if it’s possible you are more beautiful.”

“I thought you told me to find you? I never agreed to this plan of yours,” her eyes remained shut. She fanned her face lightly as she lounged next to the clear lake.

“He bares another hanyou, in one month’s time,” he taunted her somberly. “A third with tainted blood. What will history say about him and about you? That you sat here lounging while he sullied himself with a human?” his voice rang in her ears.

“Another one?” Natsuki growled disgusted. “How am I to fix this?”

“I told you, his human will not understand when instinct takes over. In one month’s time, he will be at the Southern border, in the fields that are covered with Cedar trees and Bonsai. It’s a beautiful place. He will be battling ogres. You need only get close enough and instinct will take care of the rest.” He came closer, he dared to run a finger up her wrist.

“A simple bond will not tear him from her arms,” Natsuki growled at him. She pulled her hand away. “Do not presume to touch this one.”

“No, a simple bond won’t, but the moment she finds out, she will leave him. She is insecure. She is vulnerable right now and will be even more so after the child comes.”

“Is there something more to this scheme of yours?” Natsuki was suspicious, something was rubbing her the wrong way about this Touma, something about his voice, the emotions in his eye.

“Nothing, but the safety and health of my brother. There are rumors, that your father would overthrow him, that he is weak, that his human will be his undoing. If you want the prestige that taking him as your mate will give you Natsuki, then trust me, believe in me. In one month’s time, come to the Southern border of his land and secure your place by his side.”

His words made sense. She had heard her father spout grievances about how Sesshomaru was becoming soft, vulnerable, pathetic, bound to a human. She clenched her fists, “I will come,” she said with determination, **_he will be mine._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone want to make predictions? Is the baby a boy or girl?


	5. Rin's Birth and Natsuki's Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin finally gives birth to their new child. Meanwhile Sesshomaru meets Natsuki. What could happen?
> 
> Ya'll I'm writing another spoof LOL. If you like Tales from the House of the Moon I got permission to spoof it. Check it out and please leave me a comment or kudos! 
> 
> Merry X-mas and Happy Channukah!

Four and a half months into her pregnancy, Kagome returned to check on Rin. She was excited to bring the many devices she was learning to use from school. The stethoscope returned but this time it had a strange looking horn on the end. “This is so cool,” she told Rin. “Untie your obi. I’ll show it to you.” They were in Rin and Sesshomaru’s room. Mayumi and Izayoi were playing with their brothers and cousins.

“I thought you wouldn’t bring Mayumi back?” Rin wondered.

“I’m getting better at getting her through the well. It’s connected to my spiritual power, somehow. I’m not sure. If I grasp enough of it, I can push her through, but still no one else. I tried bringing my brother back but the well rejected him no matter how hard I tried. It seems that its’ use is reserved for just those in my immediate family. It’s so strange,” she put the ear pieces into Rin’s ears. “Now listen.” She placed the horn over Rin’s now bare and pooching tummy.

Rin heard a _thump, thump, thump._ Her eyes widened, “is that?” She held her hands over the ear pieces.

“Yep, that’s your baby’s heartbeat. We have machines in my time that let you see pictures. They can tell whether it’s a boy or girl. It’s amazing,” she told Rin. “You look tired,” she touched her face.

“I am. This child already doesn’t let me sleep. Sesshomaru should be home at some point today. He’s been coming every day. I just never know when. The borders really crumbled when he was dealing with the Healer. He can’t be away for months. He has to be able to go every few days, for now at least. He is moving the uma-yokai (horse demons) to the edge of the Eastern border. We have a tentative peace with the East. He’s meeting with Lord of the West in a few days to arrange a peace treaty. They will take over guarding our Western borders. The North is taken care of by Koga and the wolves, we just need to move someone stronger to the south. The ogres keep coming. They aren’t happy about him pushing back their lands.”

“Sounds exhausting,” Kagome smiled. “Your baby sounds happy.”

“You’ll come won’t you?” Rin asked excited. “I will send one of the sentinels with Sota to retrieve you.”

“Of course!” She hugged Rin, “actually…I’m wondering if you will do me a favor, two actually…”

“What?”

“So, you remember I have a brother Sota right? The one I named my son after? Well, he’s been privately studying Inuyasha’s blood and he’s finding some really interesting things there. He asked me if I could get a sample of Sesshomaru’s and your children. He’s been studying my kids too. It’s kind of hard to explain what he is finding, but it’s really interesting. He said he might be able to cure diseases with it. He’s been running a few tests on them. He wants to see what pure demon blood looks like. Actually, can I take from Hisato too?”

“Sure,” Rin answered. “Are you happier over there?”

“Yes and no…I miss Sango and Miroku. They have ten kids now…it’s insane at their house, loud, everyone is yelling. It’s always full of laughter. And I miss my nieces and nephews. Inuyasha gets bored. He runs around the streets looking for fights. I think he should become a police officer. It’s kind of like a guard. When I’m here, I miss my mother and brother. I can’t believe Sota and Taisho are doing so well here. They look like they are stronger, faster and happier.”

“Sesshomaru has been teaching them well. Sota’s sword woke up the other day. It can shoot blades, I’m sure he’ll show you. Sesshomaru said Taisho’s sword is almost ready. Did Taisho tell you about our little discovery?”

“Yes,” Kagome beamed with happiness, “finally. I was hoping at least one of my children would get my power. My family has guarded the same shrine for centuries, before my grandfather passed away, he was convinced either Taisho or Mayumi would develop their spiritual powers.”

“He needs more training. He can only call on them when he pushed to the edge. He seems more interested in his yoki. I’ve been trying to get him to go to Miroku-sama but he won’t.”

“He’s stubborn,” Kagome shook her head, “like his father.”

“Like his Uncle. What’s the other favor?”

“Well…so my brother, wants to know if he can have a picture of your baby.”

“You brought one of those machines?”

“It’s handheld. He has this whole theory about why yokai don’t exist in our time, he wants me to help him study it. He thinks it had something to do with them all rapidly dying out at some point,” Kagome took out a small rectangle from her bag and showed it to Rin. “I just put this on your stomach.” She held up something that looked like a short fat stick. “It’ll tickle not hurt.” She pressed a button on the rectangle, it lit up in black and white.

“Can you tell if it’s a boy or girl?” Rin asked excitedly.

“I’m not so good at that. I’m training to be a nurse not a radiology technician,” Kagome answered quickly.

“A what?” Rin asked.

“What is that?” Sesshomaru stood in the door. He rest both hands on the door frame. “Miko, more medicine from your time?”

“Yep. This will show you a picture of the baby. Want to see?” She grinned, “this is so much fun.” She put the doppler on Rin’s stomach and angled it so the picture on the screen showed a profile view. “See? That’s the head,” she pointed at a circular part with a nose and a crown, “and that’s the stomach,” she traced the doppler down a bit, “and these are the feet.”

Sesshomaru and Rin’s mouths both fell open. “Amazing,” Rin whispered, “look Sesshomaru!”

Sesshomaru knelt down and touched the smooth glass surface of the screen in awe. “What do you intend to do with this, Miko?”

“Well…” Kagome started just as Yuki and Harutoga came running into the room.

Yuki leapt and placed a hand on Harutoga. “You’re it!” she yelled out of breath and ran back down the hall.

“I’m always it,” Harutoga pouted. “They’re all older and faster than me!” he complained. He walked back down the hallway to the rest of the children.

“My brother has all these theories about why there are no yokai O-ni-sama. He wants some of your blood if you don’t mind, to see what he can find. He thinks in certain families he is finding traces of yokai blood. Whenever I come back he wants me to bring samples from as many pure blooded yokai as I can.”

“You want the blood of this Sesshomaru?” He looked quizzical.

“Yes,” she answered.

“Will you use that needle?” he asked.

“Do you mind, I’m much better at it now,” Kagome smiled.

He sat down and held out his arm. As Kagome went to work wrapping a large elastic band around his arm, Sesshomaru touched Rin’s shoulder. He gave her a sympathetic look. “Did you eat?”

Rin shook her head. She felt nauseated watching Kagome press the needle into Sesshomaru’s arm. His blood flew into the vial. “Not yet,” Rin rubbed her stomach. “The medicine you sent is helping. I couldn’t get out of bed for a month.”

“I’m glad,” Kagome took the needle out. “You’re still nauseous though?”

“Yes, but it’s manageable. I can eat soup and meat,” Rin laughed, “but I can only sleep when he is home,” she rubbed Sesshomaru’s shoulder.

“I better leave you two alone then,” Kagome got up. She passed a glance at Sesshomaru and walked out the door. “O-ni-sama, when you’re done here, I need to speak to you about something else, it’s private.”

He nodded. He shut the door behind Kagome. Sesshomaru set down his armor and swords in the corner of the room and untucked his haori. “Why haven’t you eaten?”

“We ran out of meat. I sent Sato to find a deer, but with it as cold as it is, I think they have moved and the fresh snow. I don’t know. He’s been gone for a few hours.”

He lay down next to Rin with his chest exposed. “Do you want to eat?”

“I have tea.” She pointed to a small table next to her bed. “Jaken has been keeping it warm for me.” She curled into Sesshomaru’s chest, “you’re so warm.”

“Then first you will sleep, when you wake, you will eat,” he instructed her.

“And you will be gone?”

“No,” he kissed Rin. “I can stay for a few days, until I meet with the Inu-yokai Lord of the West,” he teased her mouth open more and touched her stomach.

“In that case I will sleep better,” she smiled.

“Any pains?”

“Not yet, but I’ve been feeling tightening,” she curled in closer. “Help me sleep.”

He sent a small flood of his yoki inside of Rin. He searched every inch of her body, soothing the pain, calming the upset stomach. Her left shoulder held the most pain, again. He eased her ache, stopping short of healing it completely. Her feet were sore and tired. He let his yoki reach up to her head, causing goosebumps to form and slowly let the warmth envelope her body down to her toes, “is that better?” He touched Rin’s cheek.

She was already sleeping. He sighed setting his head back on the mountain of pillows that surrounded her. He had rounded up every pillow in the house and had Akari and Atsuko make more from goose feathers from the village. Rin was still exhausted. He had been returning daily for several hours as promised, however he feared the only time she was sleeping was when she was curled against him. Her eyes were entirely too dark, her cheeks gaunt and the few times he had picked her up, he could tell that she was lighter than she had been in the past. He stroked her shoulder absentmindedly, grateful that she trusted him, that she loved him, and that she was his.

* * *

**Two Weeks Later…**

Natsuki watched Sesshomaru from a distance. Her silver hair blew in the winter wind. Her slender clawed fingers rest on the deep brown bark of a tree. Golden eyes gazed through the dark, watching him dash through hordes of ogres. His blade swirled, slashed and clashed into them, ending their lives in moments. _He’s holding back,_ she folded her arms annoyed. She wanted to see the true strength of Sesshomaru. Even from this distance she could feel the pull towards him, the scent of familiarity. He fought at the front of a gaggle of wolves. They weren’t such bad fighters themselves. She arched a frustrated white eyebrow. Touma said, the fight would take time and when he was finished, Sesshomaru would find the nearest body of water to wash himself in. That is when Natsuki would approach him.

She could smell him, even from this distance, tugging at her, reeling her in. He smelled of fresh pinewood, the forest and something else. Something human, the scent was all over him. _Not for long._ A strange electric wave washed over her. It made her toes curl, and hear heart race. Her skin vibrated with the feeling. She put a hand over her heart. No one had told her the pull would be so strong. It felt like a vortex in the ocean that sucked in everything around it. Before she knew what she was doing she was walking closer, away from her hiding spot in the thicket of pines and cedars. Her feet carried her on their own, closer to the battle. Closer to him. It was as if she was drugged and drawn to him.

* * *

Sesshomaru felt a tingling sensation. It started deep within his heart and radiated outward washing over his chest. He dispatched ogre after ogre, piece by piece knocking them down. For a moment his golden eyes glanced over his shoulder. He thought he saw something silver moving towards the battle. It seemed to glide across the white covered forest floor with a gracefulness he had never seen before. _Baka,_ he said to the form, interrupting the skirmish. He flew down through the trees landing in the clearing, lightly touching down in front of the intruder. Shock washed over him and something else, something magnetic. The demoness in front of him was dressed in a thin yellow yukata that bared the peaks of her breasts. The white sheen of her stomach was visible through the fabric. Purple stripes adorned her ankles, her cheek bones and two on either side of her neck. “Who are you?” he demanded.

In a sultry fashion she approached him. Her visage was young, younger than Sesshomaru. He closed his eyes trying to push her wafting scent out of his delicate nose. She smelled of autumn leaves and cool winter breezes. “I think you know who I am,” she crooned walking around him as if stalking her prey. “You feel it as I do,” her voice was seductive, sensuous, hypnotizing.

Sesshomaru’s back and stomach tightened against his will. “You are in the way,” he dismissed her turning his back, returning to the battle. At least he meant to, something stopped his feet. They felt like lead. The scent was undeniably familiar. Her scent called to him, it etched into his senses, floating into his nasal passages, blinding his eyes. He turned around taking in the delicate form again. He released a low warning growl when she walked closer placing the tip of her middle finger along his collar bone, over his shoulder, across his back and then stopping at his heart. His yoki flamed in response over powering his senses, electrifying his body with emerald green energy. His eyes shifted from soft honey to smoldering vermillion. He was being sucked in, his instinct and primal nature overtaking him.

“One soul,” her palm rested over his armor, above the root-like scar on his heart. Her eyes turned to velvet, heated and enticing. He felt her yoki entering his body, warm and soothing against the raging storm inside of him.

It was like watching someone else’s body as he placed the palm of his hand over her left breast and closed the gap between then, “our soul. Become one with me,” his lips crushed into the strange demoness in front of him. His hands cupped her mouth in his forcing her backwards into the trunk of a tree. Her hands gripped his wrists digging her nails into his skin. He pulled her yukata over her shoulder, digging his teeth into the skin around neck. She whimpered against the pressure. He tasted her warm blood in his mouth, making him lose his senses even more. It was as if the gales of a hurricane were beating inside of him. He growled in response to her whines. He reached for his armor, throwing it aside along with his katanas. He pulled her to him running his hands along her face.

Natsuki grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down onto the ground on top of her. He parted her yukata, baring her moon-like white skin. He threw aside his haori, removed his hikama and pulled her hips towards his own. He kissed down her neck, across her collar bone over the mounds of her chest. He held her hands over her head with his freehand letting his other explore her body. She was thin, willow-like and soft. He touched her stomach, his instinct told him she would bare a powerful child to him. The hurricane intensified igniting a fire in his belly. She touched his chest again, purring softly, sending waves of solace into him, calming his raging storm. He let his hand continue to her thighs.

His hand created a strange sensation in her body as it traveled from just above her knee up to the part in her legs and between her folds. She let out another moan, frustration leaking through, that he was making her make so much noise. This wasn’t what she had planned. She winced when his fingers found their way inside of her.

Red eyes met velvet ones, he turned her chin towards his own feeling the thick, porous skin blocking her opening. “You have not done this before.”

She shook her head, pulling his lips back to her own. The pain would be worth it. She could feel his yoki vitalizing his seed. He would give her a child and her instinct told her she was ready for it. He put pressure against the barrier blocking his way. She tensed at his touch. He pushed his fingers around it, slowly massaging the top of her core with the pads of her fingers.

She attempted to remove his wandering hand from inside of her, when it began to pump, and his thumb found an even more sensitive part of slit. White hot pleasure shot through her stomach, down into her legs. He took her hands, placed one on his chest and the other lower on his side. “I sense who you are,” he whispered against her neck.

The sensations flitting across her body were nothing like her parents had explained to her. There was a different intensity to his caresses. She had meant to fight him, scratch him, bite and make him bleed, instead all she could do was lay beneath him as his thumb continued to circle the sensitive area of her folds until he was stifling her moans with his own mouth. One last thrust of his fingers and her entire body came alive. Her yoki bled into him, touching his soul, connecting her to him forever. As her body continued to pulse she felt a light sting as his fingers exited her opening.

Sesshomaru nestled his way between her legs, he waited until she was incoherent to cut through her barrier rather than break it with the pressure of his own body. He pulled her hips up to his own and buried himself. The action caused her to gasp for air. She was hot, wet and oh so snug. “Become one with me,” he tensed within her, pulling her hips around his own. He held her wrists over her head and flexed in and out of Natsuki.

His yoki enveloped her body, making a tear of joy and completeness fall from her eyes before he shivered within her. Sesshomaru collapsed on top of her. He heard Koga calling in the distance, rather than stay, he enveloped Natsuki and himself in an orb of light and fled deeper into the forest. He pulled her tightly to him, his instinct telling him to hold her close, to warm her body with his own. Her tired golden orbs looked up at him in a knowing way before they both drifted to sleep.

* * *

Rin rubbed her back as a flash of pain shot through it again. She had been feeling the sensations all day and was doing her best to ignore them. Winter had finally set in, the first real snows fell around their house. She wore thick boots and a grey woolen coat over a deep green kimono. Her stomach protruded as if she were already nine months along. Yuki and Harutoga splashed in the snow, wearing their woolen clothing and warm boots. They threw snowballs back and forth at each other, filling the crisp winter air with laughter. “Yuki! This means it must be your birthday soon!” It was not the custom of the times to celebrate birthdays. Kagome had insisted that Rin as a child celebrate hers. They chose the date based around the time she first found Sesshomaru. Rin did not remember the exact date of Yuki’s birthday. She knew that it was during the first snow of winter. Therefore, each year when the snow fell, her mind went back to that day, when she birthed Yuki in the dark cave. Despite what had happened between Sesshomaru and Rin that day, she looked on her daughter’s birth with fondness.

“That means I am nine now!” Yuki clapped her gloved hands. “Ouch Haru, don’t hit me in the face!” She ran after him with a ball of snow.

Taisho and Sota stood nearby, both of them armed with their swords doing their best to imitate Hisato and Hideyoshi, who also leaned against the white towering walls of their home. In the winter, Rin was glad that there was always a reprieve from guests. No one wanted to travel when it was cold, the villagers spent more time indoors. Yokai would come although less frequently. “Ouch,” Rin walked in a circle rubbing her lower back again. Her hands worked on the small, as the dull pain grew. She stopped and leaned against the stone walls to catch her breath. Akari left the playing children and stood next to Rin. Hisato stalked from his place by the wall as well.

“Is it time Rin-sama?” Hisato asked her.

“I’m not sure,” she replied, as the pain subsided.

“That’s the fourth one in a matter of minutes,” he told her. “Should I send for her?”

“No,” Rin answered quickly. “No…not yet, ow,” Rin leaned against the wall again. “Ouch,” she moaned quietly. She breathed deeply, letting the cold air rush into her lungs.

Yuki ran over. “Ka-san, what’s wrong? Is the baby coming?” She had snow on top of her head that covered her little nose. Yuki touched Rin’s back.

Rin took a cleansing breath, closed her eyes and said, “I’m fine.”

“I’m sending for her.” Hisato closed his eyes and touched his heart.

“You know, you’ve become very disobedient since you revealed who your bonded to,” Rin scolded him.

“And who would you have be with you now? The pains are coming faster than they did with Harutoga,” Hisato’s voice was low. Hideyoshi had not been there for that birth. Hisato remembered that Rin’s pains had started in the afternoon the day before, the child didn’t come until the next evening.

The next pain washed over Rin like a burning flame. It started high in her belly and shot down between her legs. Rin doubled over gripping her stomach. Akari caught her by the arm. “Lean against the wall,” she grabbed Rin’s wrists and pressed her palms against the freezing stone.

“Hideyoshi! Sota!” Rin screamed to the white haired sentinel, ending his casual stance against the wall. Sota came running. “Hideyoshi, go to my village, please get Kagome-sama, Sango-san. Quickly, ahhh!” Rin tried to breathe.

“Breath Rin-sama,” Akari the hanyou fire cat rubbed Rin’s back with her clawed hands. She used her yoki to warm her hands against the back of Rin’s kimono enough to ease some of the pain.

“These are much stronger this time,” Rin rubbed her lower back. “Hisato go get Atsuko. Have her bring herbs for birthing from the village. I’m going to the garden. Hisato!” she called him before he could leave, “do you know where he went?”

“If I’m not mistaken Rin-sama, you should be able to call him yourself,” Hisato rocked on his heels.

“I don’t understand,” Rin looked at him shocked.

“Oh, I’m just in time!” Gobodo-sama landed next to Rin with her hands clasped together. “I told you, five months.”

Rin looked at her shocked.

“Oh just breathe dear,” Gobodo-sama said.

“What?” Then came the pain. It started at the stop of her stomach squeezed down. Rin walked in a circle massaging her back. She held onto the wall again trying to breathe. “Take the pain? Please Gobodo-sama? Take it?”

“I can’t,” Gobodo-sama leaned close to Rin. “If I or he takes your pain, it will heal what is happening down there, and that must happen for the child to come. Call for him, and he can comfort you.”

“Ka-san!” Yuki had not left her side. “Is she okay?” Yuki looked at her grandmother for confirmation.

“Oh dear,” Gobodo-sama took Yuki by the hand, “I’ll keep them entertained. Harutoga, come with me child!”

“Thank you,” Rin mouthed through the pain. Akari let the heat leave her hands.

When the pain stopped Gobodo-sama smiled at Rin, “call him.”

“How?”

“Close your eyes, if his bond with you is strong enough, he should feel the pull to come home…if it doesn’t work, wait until the pain is worse and think of him then. The bond will call him to you. Come Yuki, Harutoga, Soba-sama brought you so many presents.” They walked off together inside the house.

“What did you bring us!?” the children called after her.

“Ahhh,” Rin closed her eyes, _Sesshomaru, please…please come home._ He did not come the night before. Rin was already exhausted. He was supposed to come home after the battle finished.

“Remember to let it wash over you, imagine you are in the ocean,” Akari warmed her hands by Rin’s back again. “Breathe in, good Rin-sama. Hisato quickly, to the village. We need yarrow root, ginger, lavender and feverfew for the pain. Atsuko knows where to find them.”

“I’m tasked with not leaving her side,” Hisato argued. “I will find one of the other sentinels.”

“Quickly, this child will be here by the end of the day,” Akari told him. “Come I’ll help you inside.”

“I’ll do it!” Taisho’s sweet voice came over. “I’ll go get her.”

“Take Aun, you need to hurry,” Hisato told him. “Try not to purify anyone while you go.”

“I won’t,” he grumbled as he loped towards Aun’s field.

Rin stood upright, she felt her body shifting, the baby felt lower, she felt more warmth between her legs. She tried to remind herself to remain calm. She entered the public dining room. Rin assisted at births in the village, although the villagers viewed her as a queen and she had experienced it twice, it never prepared her for the agony of childbirth. “Oh not again,” Rin slammed her hands down onto the dining room table, “Akari, please…” She closed her eyes _please, come home, please Sesshomaru…please come home._

As if reading her mind, Akari took off Rin’s heavy coat and helped her slide her boots off as soon as the contraction ended. “Jaken!” Akari called. “Jaken!” she yelled again.

Jaken came scuttling into the room, staff in hand. “What is it?” He took one look at Rin, and smiled the biggest smile she had ever seen, “Sesshomaru-sama’s child is coming? This Jaken is so happy!”

“The fires Jaken, all of them, now! Especially the one in their room. Make sure they are lit,” Akari ordered him, “breathe.” She laid her hands over Rin’s back again heating them just below making balls of fire.

Rin whimpered as the wave came crashing down on her. “Where is he?”

“He’ll come,” Akari let her hands heat just a bit more. “He’ll come.”

Jaken ran from fireplace to fireplace blasting them with Nintojo. The public dining hall had four, one on each wall and one in the center that was almost never used. He ran to the wood pile against the wall, yelling at the other servants to place logs of wood in the center fire pit for him to light.

* * *

Sesshomaru startled himself awake. Her voice flashed through his mind. His hand went to his chest, the scar burned against his skin. She was in pain. When he tried to stand, he felt something heavy and silky smooth against his chest. His eyes dilated in shock. His mind echoed the words he had said. He sensed another presence in his mind, _no…no…_ The demoness did not stir as he grabbed his clothing. He dressed in haste, girded himself with his armor and swords and flew into the air. _What did I do?_ Rin was practically screaming in his mind, however behind her screams was the presence of the demoness he left sleeping naked in the trees. Something was different, as he flew, he considered it. _Why couldn’t I resist her?_

When his instincts were first aroused for Rin, he was able to stop himself, to back away and leave. However, he could only resist returning to her for a year. She tugged at his senses calling him back. From the moment he had left Rin by that lake under the full moon, his soul ached to complete what he started and keep her close. He felt nothing for this new presence. He didn’t even know her name. It was no great effort to leave, whoever it was. He knew she was there, like a dull warmth under his skin, but she did not call to him. When she approached him, it was like a fury of yoki raged within his body and led him towards her. _Dammit, what have I done?_ He tried to recall the events when his instincts took over, did he do what was needed to create a child? He shook his head, in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his mind. For now, he was needed at home. His scar flamed in fury again. _Rin, I’m coming._

* * *

Atsuko sat by the table in the public dining hall. She mixed lavender and ginger root into camellia oil in a bowl. Jaken ran from the corridor to Rin carrying one of her lighter yukatas. It was white cotton. He brought her clean socks for her soaked feet. “Thank you, Jaken-sama,” Rin said quietly gritting her teeth through another pain. She felt a tear leave her eyes. “Why is this happening like this?”

“It’s your third child,” Sango came into the room jumping off of Hideyoshi’s back. “Kagome will come soon. Sota had to go through the well to find her.”

Rin glanced up and tried to grin.

Atsuko dipped her hands in the oil. “Jaken, Hisato, leave the room. We’re going to change her now. Akari, take off her obi and kimono. Jaken, send in female servants only with towels to clean up the water.” Atsuko rubbed the oil against her hands. Moments before Rin’s waters splattered on the marble flooring, covering her feet and nearly splashing Jaken.

Akari untied the orange obi and helped Rin step out of her Kimono. Sango picked up the clean white yukata. “Quickly before the next one comes.” Sango helped her put her arms into it. She tied the belt lightly over the top of Rin’s bump.

Atsuko moved the material aside and rubbed the oil mixture over Rin’s lower back. “Is that helping.”

“Another one is coming,” Gobodo-sama glided into the room. “What is that awful smell?”

“Oils,” Sango answered. “Who are you?” She could sense the demonic aura practically suffocating the room.

“Sesshomaru’s mother,” Gobodo-sama answered. “Everyone calls me Gobodo-sama, so will you.”

“Gobodo-sama?” Sango raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Is that your name?”

“Name,” she touched her chin. “I don’t remember my name.”

“Ow,” Rin cried out. She leaned over the table again trying to catch her breath. “Where is he?” She rocked back and forth in her place. “Where is he?”

“Here, my heart,” Sesshomaru swiftly came through the door. He immediately removed his armor and his swords handing them to Akari who grabbed them.

“Sesshomaru?” Rin sniffled, as soon as the contraction stopped, she ran into his arms. She buried her eyes in his neck. “Stay with me.”

“I’m here,” he wiped her sweat soaked brow.

“Don’t leave me,” she held onto his neck.

He let his yoki rise, intending on easing her pain.

Gobodo-sama grabbed his hand, “don’t. It must happen, calm her, what…” Gobodo-sama grabbed his chin, examining his eyes, she let out a low growl.

Sesshomaru shook his head at her delivering his own low warning snarl.

“Are they always like that?” Sango asked.

Akari and Atsuko both laughed, “yes,” they said in unison.

“You didn’t come home last night,” she wrapped her arms around his chest.

“Forgive me,” he whispered by her ear, not offering an explanation, but meaning the words, _please forgive me._

Rin clung to Sesshomaru’s thorax. She felt waves of comfort permeate her mind. She finally felt like she could breathe again, just as another pain came. She let out a quiet groan, her breathing sped up. Akari dipped her hand in the bowl of oil and came close to Rin. Sesshomaru unleashed another warning at Akari.

“The oil is to help her,” Akari rolled her eyes. “It’s a good thing he wasn’t here the entire time with Harutoga,” she chuckled as she pulled the back of Rin’s kimono aside and rubbed the oil over her lower back. Her hands glowed orange at the tips and around the edges of the palms.

“It’s not his fault,” Gobodo-sama folded her arms over her breasts, “he is listening to his instinct. Right now, his instinct tells him to protect her while she births his child.”

“I want to be alone with you,” Rin whispered his ear. “Please? Just for a little while. Another one is coming,” she pushed the fabric of his haori off his chest. She pressed her cheek into the muscle of his sternum. She let his warmth wash over her face.

Sesshomaru rubbed her back the way he saw Akari and Atsuko do it. “Leave,” he told them.

Akari, Atsuko, Gobodo-sama and Sango walked to the corridor followed by the servants that were tending the fires.

“What do you need from me?” He stroked Rin’s hair.

“My legs are tired,” she shuffled her feet. “They’re coming much faster this time, and stronger, hold me.” She clung to him, breathing through the next pain.

He held her close, feeling her body against his. He waited for her breathing to slow down signaling the end of the pain before he asked her, “do you want me to take you to bed?”

“No, it’s worse when I lay down.”

“Should we sit then?” He took her hands and led her to the wall near one of the fires.

“How about a bath?” Kagome ran into the room and skidded to a stop behind Rin.

Sesshomaru flashed red eyes at her.

“Oh calm down O-ni-sama!” She put her hands on her hips. “I’m so excited! Inuyasha is coming too. He’s just bringing Izayoi. I couldn’t get Mayumi through the well. She’s so upset she’s going to miss it.”

Rin flinched against Sesshomaru, signaling him another pain was taking over, he pulled her against him again and let his mouth rest by her ear. “Breathe,” that is what they all kept telling her. “A bath Miko?” He ran his hand in circles around her lower back.

“Yeah, in my time the water is soothing. It helps with the pain, and your bathtubs are gigantic! They’re perfect! Do you feel like you need to push yet?”

“No,” Rin answered, “not yet,” she wiped her eyes. “Help me get to the bath?”

“I’ll go find Jaken, Jaken!!” Kagome ran for the corridor. “Sango-san! We need to make Rin a bath, and quickly. Akari, Atsuko!”

Rin giggled, she felt the calming warmth enter her again. “Mmmh, I like that.”

“Is it helping?” Sesshomaru asked.

“Yes,” she hobbled slowly to the corridor. “Why does it feel so good to put them in and hurt so much to get them out?”

Sesshomaru didn’t answer. He held his arm out for Rin to hold until they made it into the corridor. When they opened the door, Rin was shocked to find an audience had formed. The cooks, the maids and manservants, the sentinels, the children, Gobodo-sama, Sango and Kagome lined the hallway. “Breathe dear,” Gobodo-sama told Rin.

“How does she…mmm.” Rin pursed her lips in pain and turned back into Sesshomaru hugging him around the waist.

He let his arms fall to her back as he whispered in her ears, “you’re so brave. I’m here.” he tried to encourage her.

“You can sense the contractions?” Sango asked Sesshomaru’s mother.

“Of course, can’t you?” Gobodo-sama looked genuinely confused.

“That isn’t how humans work,” Kagome responded. “We only know when they are coming when we feel it or when the woman cries out in pain, or tells us. Some women are quiet when they birth.”

Rin shot Kagome an annoyed glare.

“I scream until the entire village hears it,” Sango laughed. “You should have heard me with the last one. As he was coming out I told Miroku if he ever touched me again I would cut off his-”

“Sango, there are children in the hall!” Kagome covered her mouth.

“Cut off his what?” Yuki asked.

“You’ll find out when you’re older.” Kagome pat her on the head.

“Inu-yokai females are also quiet as long as they are accompanied by the father. It’s fascinating really. When the pairing happens, it’s the female who must calm the male. When the child comes, it’s the opposite. The male calms the female,” her eyes bored holes into Sesshomaru. “We also give birth in our true-forms and our children are born in their true forms.”

Sesshomaru met her stare and widened his eyes in threat.

Rin continued walking steadily down the hall. “You’re sure the bath will help?” she asked Kagome.

“Come, we’ll go to your room,” Sango held her arm out. Rin continued walking slowly down the hall.

Sango and Kagome followed behind them. He continued to embrace her when the pains came. It took time for Rin to pace down the hall between contractions. Every few minutes she stopped and leaned against the wall or Sesshomaru. It gave the servants time to bring in water to fill the tub and for Jaken to heat it with Nintojo. They made their way into the bedroom. Sesshomaru sat in the middle of the bed, helping Rin sit with him. Kagome ensured the bath was not too hot. She exited the bathroom and came across the hall to Sesshomaru and Rin’s room. The door was ajar. Atsuko was rubbing more oil on Rin’s lower back. Sesshomaru leaned against the wall sitting with Rin between his legs. He stroked her hair down her back, his lips were pressed to her ear. Only those with sharp enough hearing, could catch what he said to her.

“It’s ready,” Kagome told them. Under her breath Kagome whispered quietly, “O-ni-sama, go in with her.”

His eyes widened, he gave Kagome a very befuddled look. He helped Rin off their futon and went with her into the bathroom. Kagome passed him a wooden water bottle on the way in, “make sure she drinks.” He shut the door behind them.

“It’s so strange, Miroku refuses to be in the room with me…not that I want him in the room when the baby is coming,” Sango laughed.

“It’s not so strange,” Gobodo-sama interjected from the hallway, “they are bonded. The connection is much deeper than human connections.”

“It’s not that,” Kagome smiled, “he’s been her comfort since she was eight years old. She told me when she was thirteen, that she never felt fear or worry after finding him. She used to sleep with one of his obis underneath her pillow at night. That’s why I told him to go in with her. In my time, in defense of humans, the men assist more in birthing than they do in this time. Besides, it’s cute seeing the big bad Sesshomaru like this.”

“You should hear the things he says to her. He could teach my lover a thing or two,” Akari added.

Gobodo-sama glowered at Akari.

“That, I of course don’t actually hear him say,” she twirled her red hair nervously.

“Is it the yellow one with purple ends?” Atsuko lifted one of the pillows on the futon, revealing the tattered piece of cloth against the yellow sheet. “I should put a dark sheet on. Akari, help me change the linens. Let’s do the black ones.”

All the women started laughing.

“That is private,” Jaken waved Nintojo at them. “We hired you for your discretion not to flap your gums!”

“Oh shut up toad,” Akari shot a fire ball at him through two fingers, “they’re family.”

“That doesn’t mean you can spill their secrets,” Gobodo-sama’s yoki rose into the air. She unfolded her arms, they float like serpents down to her sides.

Kagome said nothing, she turned around arms unfolding like Gobodo-sama’s and let her spiritual powers rise into the air matching the demoness. “You are so shallow, you know that? You think because you are yokai, somehow your relationships are deeper than ours and they aren’t. Humans are equally capable of meaningful deep relationships. Just because we can’t emit yoki into our spouses doesn’t mean that a connection and love isn’t there, and if you don’t drop that yoki right now, I’ll seal you into the wall of your son’s home!”

“As if you could,” Gobodo-sama tested her.

“Soba-sama, Obasan is very powerful,” Harutoga pulled on her arm.

“Let’s see how powerful,” Gobodo-sama arched her eyebrows and folded her arms again.

* * *

Rin sat on Sesshomaru’s lap with her side against his chest. The light steam rose off the bathtub. Her head bobbed against his shoulder. The small tendrils of hair around her neck dripped lightly with perspiration. “I’m tired,” she yawned against his neck. He rubbed her shoulders and kissed her lips. “Another one is coming,” she sighed feeling the waves of comfort come over her. She breathed methodically feeling some relief from the water.

“Rest,” he told her. He could sense the display of power going on the other side of the door. “I think mother and Kagome are testing each other. When did the Miko become so powerful?”

“Years ago,” Rin whispered softly. She was limp in his arms, half asleep until the next pain came. “This is so comfortable. Ugh,” she pulled herself closer to Sesshomaru holding onto his chest and hiding her eyes against his heated skin. The pitch of her voice changed at the end of the contraction. Rin felt the baby move further down, “soon…”

“Are you scared?” Sesshomaru asked her.

“It hurts,” she pulled herself closer to him.

“It’s just pain,” he reminded her quietly. “It will end soon.”

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl, ow,” she squeezed his chest with so much force, she was surprised he wasn’t in pain. “Sesshomaru,” she whimpered.

“Shh,” his lips remained near her ear. “I have you. I know it hurts. Breathe,” he heartened her. “Breathe with me.”

“I can’t,” she finally broke down. “It hurts.”

“Shh,” he hushed her, wishing he could take her pain. “Focus on the rise and fall of my chest.”

She tried. She breathed with him, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest until the pain subsided, “I’m so tired.”

He kissed the side of her neck. “Rest,” he repeated himself.

For a time Rin breathed evenly against his skin, her hands limp on her sides. She only woke during contractions. He sent comforting waves into her body, easing her fear of the pain, allowing her to quietly breathe through them with soft, “mmmhs,” and, “ohs,” leaving her lips. When they were over, she nodded off against him. He rubbed her lower back, pressed his lips against the pulse of her neck and whispered through each contraction, how much he loved her. It was as if his love could assuage the guilt eating at the back of his mind. He knew it wasn’t unheard of for his kind to be bound to more than one, but the rule didn’t apply to most humans, she wouldn’t understand. He wondered how long he had before he would be called back to the demoness. She was moving, somewhere off in the distance. He felt no need still to return, simply that she was there.

A low pitched tone came from Rin’s mouth with the last contraction. “I’m pushing.” She dug her nails into his arms. She could feel the baby descending. “I’m thirsty.”

His thoughts were replaced by excitement. He reached around to the side of the bath and lifted the water bottle. He held it to Rin’s lips, “drink.”

Rin drank as much as she could, “Sesshomaru,” she held him again wincing, “I’m pushing, please,” she begged him.

“Miko!” He called, he could still feel his mother and Kagome battling it out in the hallway. His mother was testing her, that wasn’t the full of extent of her yoki not by far. Kagome matched the power with her own. It immediately stopped when he called for her. “Breathe,” he reminded Rin. “Is it gone?”

“Yes,” Rin answered. “Please, help me stay calm, it’s like something takes over my body, I can’t control it.”

“I’m with you,” he reminded her. “Let your instinct take over, your body knows what to do.”

Kagome knocked on the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yes,” He answered. “She’s ready.”

Kagome came in with Sango. “I don’t know why you needed us, you’re in capable of hands.” Sango stroked Rin’s hair. “Try to relax, your muscles will thank you.”

Rin paused, “help me get out, before the next one comes.” She pushed herself to stand.

“You, stay seated until we leave the room,” Kagome pointed a finger at Sesshomaru. “He has no problem showing off.”

“I thought you liked what you saw Miko,” Sesshomaru remained in the bath.

Sango took a robe off the wall and helped Rin put it on. She glanced back and smiled a deep shade of red. “I think I would like it too. Miroku still has a nice body for a man in his thirties but not like that. He started getting grey hair. Can you believe it? Just around the sides of his head,” Sango tied the belt above Rin’s belly. “Come on, we’ll help you get to bed.”

Atsuko and Akari supported Rin, when another contraction beat through her body. Rin let out a low howl of pain and power. “The head is coming,” she was forced to rely on them for support. Her mind was becoming incoherent until she felt the warm yoki flowing through her again.

They took her to her bed and helped arranged the pillows behind her back to support her. Akari placed the bowl of oils next to Kagome and Sango. Sango dipped a wash cloth into it and pressed it around Rin’s opening. Rin cried out again, gripping her knees to her chest, spread enough to allow the baby out.

“The head is coming! So cute, no pointy ears this time, the hair is black,” Sango spoke.

“What?” Rin panted between the urge to push.

Sesshomaru came in behind Rin, his hair tied back, dripping down his back. He wore only a pair of green hikama. He knelt down next to Rin. “Do you want me to sit with you, like with Harutoga?”

“Wow,” Sango looked at Kagome.

“Yep, he’s hot,” Kagome giggled. “Don’t tell Inuyasha I said that.”

“I heard that,” Sesshomaru stared at them.

Rin nodded her head, she held Sango’s hand in one hand and Kagome’s in the other as she bared down. Sesshomaru stepped behind her, removing the pillows from behind her back. He sat with Rin between his legs, her back flush against his front again.

“Can I watch?” Yuki peeked her head around the doorframe.

“Yes,” Rin panted, “come in.”

“Can I?” Harutoga asked.

“No!” everyone in the room shouted.

“Jaken!” Sesshomaru called. “Take Harutoga to the dining room to play.”

“Yes Sesshomaru-sama! Oh let me know what it is!” Jaken called as he grabbed Harutoga’s hand and ran with him down the corridor.

Another pain ripped through Rin, she closed her eyes and held onto Sesshomaru’s arm. Her scream echoed off the walls of their home. Sesshomaru bent his neck over her shoulder, he could see a mat of black hair and pointed ears exiting Rin. His mouth fell open, the ears were on the side of the head, not on the top, they weren’t furry cat ears, they looked like his, pointed and long. The face slowly emerged, a moon on the forehead and two magenta cheek stripes. Rin cried non-stop. She clamped her teeth down into his shoulder trying to control the overwhelming urge to push. The rest of the body slid out into Sango’s hands. She placed the baby immediately on Rin’s chest and tucked the bottom into the robe.

“I’ll warm some blankets.” Akari ran to the children’s room to retrieve baby blankets.

Rin took staggered breaths against Sesshomaru’s chest. “I did it,” she said in euphoria. “We did it.” She held onto the warm tiny body against her skin.

Sesshomaru smiled, he held the clawed hands of the little baby, “you did it. Open the legs,” he wanted to know what it was.

Rin parted the baby’s legs and let out a gasp. “Another boy, another son,” she kissed Sesshomaru’s neck. “Ow,” she arched her back to deliver the placenta. “I’m thirsty.”

“It’s a boy!” Atsuko yelled out the hallway. The entire hallway had filled with servants, cooks and the whole household. “It’s a boy!” Echoed down the halls. There were whoops and yells of excitement.

“Another brother? This Yuki wanted a sister!” Yuki stomped her feet. “Can I see?” Rin motioned her forward. She came onto their bed next to her father. “Does it still hurt Ka-san?”

Akari placed the warmed blankets next to Rin. “Do you want fruit? Soup? There is ginger-root soup in the kitchen,” she touched Rin’s forehead. “You did well Rin-sama.”

“What’s wrong with his ears?” Yuki touched the pointed ears on the side of his head. “And his hair is black. I thought all hanyou’s had white hair?”

“He’s perfect,” Kagome touched the tiny stripped cheek. “What are you going to call him?”

Sesshomaru looked down at Rin, he kissed her soaked cheeks. “My heart, what should we call him?”

“Something with ‘maru’ at the end. I want to name him after his father,” Rin answered.

There it was again, that overpowering warmth, trust and love flushing through their bond. _I don’t deserve this love_ , he thought to himself. _This trust, the faith she has in me._

“Such a ray of light after such darkness,” Gobodo-sama leaned against the door frame. “Taiyomaru,” she suggested. “Perfect sun, to capture his light.”

“I like that,” Rin stroked his cheek. “Taiyomaru, hello,” she kissed his cheek as she latched him onto her breast. “I’m starving, Akari soup and water please.”

Everyone laughed.

“Shall I inform the staff of the young Lord’s name?” Hisato poked his head into the overcrowded room.

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered. “Send Jaken to bring Harutoga. Hisato, tell Sota to take Aun and go to the Southern border, inform Koga I will not be returning for a month.” He gazed down on his exhausted mate and new baby. “I’m staying here,” the words came out with more conviction than he had meant them to.

“Taiyomaru, I like it, but I’m his aunt, so I’m biased. The bleeding slowed down, I think we should let them have some time alone.” Kagome stood up and held the door while everyone exited. “I’ll be down the hall, yell if you need us.”

“He’s pretty cute for a boy,” Yuki laughed. “Can I hold him?”

“When he’s done eating,” Rin answered.

Akari entered the room with a tray of food. She set it next to Rin. “I added some rice, fish and vegetables,” she bowed and exited the room. “Should we inform the village?”

“I’ll do it,” Gobodo-sama said. “Sesshomaru, when you are done here with your family, we need to speak.”

Sesshomaru’s face became placid and dry. He knew that is mother was aware of what had happened. “When Rin is sleeping.”

“I have a brother?” Harutoga ran into the room. Sesshomaru caught him around the stomach before he landed on top of Rin. “You smell funny,” he sniffed his father, then sniffed the new baby. “He smells funny too, is that new baby smell?”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered. “He smells like his mother, doesn’t he?”

“He smells like you and Ka-san,” Yuki bent over and smelled the baby’s cheek, “and winter. He smells like me, can I hold him now?”

“He’s not done eating yet,” Rin hugged Yuki with her free arm.

“What’s he doing on your chest Ka-san?” Harutoga asked.

“Drinking milk,” Rin chuckled. “I guess you haven’t seen very many mother’s nursing their babies around here have you?”

“I see it in the village sometimes,” Yuki said. “But I saw Haru nurse too. When are we going to give him a bath? Can I help?”

Rin yawned in response and cuddled closer into Sesshomaru. “Mmmh,” she smiled. “I love you,” she said quietly. Her body felt heavy with sleep.

“And I you,” he tilted her chin up.

“Oh don’t start with my love, my heart again,” Yuki crossed her arms, “you two are so mushy.” Yuki sniffed the air, her little nose worked up and down. She sniffed Sesshomaru’s shoulder, then his cheek, “Chichiue you smell worried, really worried, what’s wrong?” Yuki asked him.

Sesshomaru grit his teeth. There was a heaviness in his stomach an uncomfortable cramping. “Nothing,” he told them. “Let Ka-san eat.”

“What’s wrong,” Rin touched his cheek and pulled his mouth down to hers.

“Nothing,” he answered her and tickled her cheek. “Eat and rest.” He held Rin around her semi-deflated waist. His eyes captured her, his children, a warmth of pride and fear entered his heart. _I can’t lose them._

* * *

Touma sat outside the barrier. He toyed with its integrity. “Come to me Hisato,” he muttered to himself. “Something happened. I can smell it, new life,” he sniffed the air, “and mother is there. His child came.” He ran the Halberd over the barrier making it spark.

“I’ve told you before that is not a good idea,” Hisato landed next to Touma. He grit his teeth. “Why are you here, again?”

“Why wouldn’t I be. I’m an uncle again, if my nose is correct,” he tasted the air, “his human had the baby.”

“How do you know it’s her? Children are born in the village all the time,” Hisato rolled his eyes, this alliance was getting tedious.

“I’ve smelled her birth before, in the cave, when I nearly killed my brother. When will the celebration happen?” Touma tied his hair into a high pony tail on top of his head.

Hisato sighed, “Sesshomaru waits until Rin is on her feet enough to enjoy it. I’m not sure.”

“How long does it take a human to recover enough to enjoy a festivity?” He crooked his head. “Hisato, how long?”

“A few weeks, the soonest it would happen is two weeks. What are you planning?”

“You’ll find out in time,” he snarled in the wind. “Snow,” he held his hand out, “it works much like rain, to blight the senses.”

_He’s getting crazier every time I see him,_ Hisato thought to himself. “As long as this plan of yours does not endanger my life. The Hanyou, the monk, the Miko and the slayer will be there. It won’t be an opportune time to attack.”

“Worried about your life? When my mother possesses the Meido stone? Tsk…tsk, Hisato. In time we will both have our revenge. Patience, just be patient.” He walked away towards the trees, “it’s almost time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Natsuki is pregnant? I wonder....
> 
> Please comment or Kudo


	6. Revelations and Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Sesshomaru celebrate the birth of Taiyomaru, until Natsuki crashes the party. 
> 
> I've been told this chapter requires a copious amount of tissues. 
> 
> Gawd these are so long. I didn't realize that when I wrote them.

Sesshomaru stayed with Rin in their room, until she ate her fill and curled against his chest. As he had with Yuki and Harutoga, he wrapped Taiyomaru in his mokomoko over his right shoulder, creating a white fluffy nest for his new son to sleep. His eyes wandered up and down the little body. Rin put him in something Kagome called a ‘stretchie’ from her time to keep him warm. His face was double striped like his father. His hair was raven black like his mother. His stomach had markings on the front around his navel and over his feet. His ears were pointed on the sides of his head like his father’s. He ate for a while before he finally seemed satisfied. Her eyes were darkened, and her face red from the strain of birthing their child. When it seemed she was ready to sleep Sesshomaru called for Jaken to take Harutoga and Yuki to go play. Jaken called Akari and Atsuko to change their bedding again. He held Rin in his lap while they cleaned up the sheets and the afterbirth. When they finished he carried her back to their bed.

“We should add a playroom in the spring for them,” Rin sighed against Sesshomaru’s chest. “They spend all winter playing in the public dining room, driving the cooks and Jaken crazy making messes. Yuki melts the chairs,” she nuzzled closer into his bare shoulder and yawned. She ran her fingers along his shoulder. He flinched. “Sorry,” Rin giggled. “I must have bitten you very hard.” She fingered a bite mark near his collar bone.

“It will heal. Sleep my heart. I’m so proud of you. You gave this Sesshomaru another son,” he tickled his son’s chin. He let his yoki flow into her body, soothing her aches and pains, starting from the crown of her head and down her back. Her shoulder was aching again, and her muscles were sore. He came down to her center, where she had given birth. His yoki knitted the skin back together before floating down her legs, relaxing the muscles that had become tense. “Is that better?”

“Uh-huh.” Her eyes were already mostly closed. “Stay with me?”

“Forever.”

“Look what we made together. He has your ears this time.” Her breathing continued to slow.

“And your hair,” Sesshomaru whispered. “Shh, shh,” he hushed the baby as he began to whine. Rin slowly drifted off to sleep as Sesshomaru stroked her hair. “I’m sorry Rin,” he said to her as she slept against him. Once he knew she was in a deep slumber, he rose from his bed, tucking her in and supporting her body with pillows. He covered Rin with warm blankets and left the room. Atsuko and Akari both sat on the hallway floor.

“Does she need anything?” Akari played with a fireball in her hands. She rolled it from one wrist to the other.

“See that the fire stays lit,” Sesshomaru answered as he walked to his mother’s smell. It was coming from his study.

“Can I see him?” Atsuko asked.

Sesshomaru brushed past them to his study with Taiyomaru still curled in his mokomoko. The baby’s head bobbed softly against his fur. He opened the door and found his mother sitting in his chair with a bored expression on her face. She rose from her place and stalked over to Sesshomaru violently grabbing him by the chin and staring into his eyes. “What did you do?” Gobodo-sama demanded with one hand on her hip.

“I think you know mother,” Sesshomaru stroked his son’s cheek. “How long do I have?” His voice took on an emotional tone he wasn’t used to emitting. His family, his house, it had become everything to him in the last ten years.

“When did it happen?” Gobodo-sama walked around him until she could see the little face sticking out of his mokomoko. “He’s beautiful Sesshomaru.”

“Last night.” He removed Taiyomaru from his mokomoko and handed him to his mother. “Keep him warm.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“You never raised a hanyou, they are affected by the cold,” he spoke in sorrow. “How long?”

“Half a century, maybe more perhaps. Look at this hair and these ears. Can you sense his power? What did you do differently that you didn’t with the other two. His blood is nearly pure,” she set her palm, fingers spread over Taiyomaru’s stomach and closed her eyes. “I still sense human blood in him. If you impregnated her, then you have three months until she will call you. Females and their unborn die without the father present.”

Sesshomaru gasped. He again tried to recall the memories of what had happened the night before with demoness that approached him. “I’m unsure if that is what I did. I felt,” a sense of embarrassment washed through him having this conversation with his mother, “as if she would give me a powerful child. A pure-blooded child.”

Gobodo-sama started cackling while bouncing the baby up and down in her arms. “You are an idiot Sesshomaru. Had you only spent more time listening to your father five hundred years ago, you would not have gotten yourself in this situation. Didn’t you ever wonder how you could be conceived without us bonding each other? We both knew how powerful we were, and I was well…let’s say in need. It was Natsuki wasn’t it?”

“You knew there was another out there?” His eyes widened. Taiyomaru shrieked and filled the room with cries. He removed his son from his mother’s arms.

“Of course I did. I’ve been fielding proposals for you for the last five hundred years, since you came of age. Honestly Sesshomaru, there were several Inu-yokai that you could have bonded. Two have already died. I began searching for them in earnest once I met your little human girl. It was obvious then, that you would take her when she came of age.”

Sesshomaru grabbed his mother’s arm. “Do you hate my relationship with Rin so much that you would do this to me?”

Gobodo-sama removed his hand from her arm. “No. I have never been against your relationship with that human. I began searching to protect you from this happening. You felt it? The irresistible urge to bond her? Why would I put this,” she motioned around them, “this,” she pointed at their new child, “in jeopardy? I met Natsuki and her father five months ago. I told them they weren’t to approach you for another century. Not until…well…”

“Until Rin dies,” Sesshomaru somberly supplied the answer.

“Yes, not until Rin dies.” She embraced her son’s cheeks with her hands. “She was meant to comfort you when your human meets her inevitable end. I see how much Rin loves you and you her. Did you honestly think me so cold as to destroy what the two of you have? A hanyou like this, like Taiyomaru can only be created when there is pure love between the parents. Why would I ruin this?”

“Then why did she come to me?” Sesshomaru growled.

“I don’t know, but I will find out.”

“Why couldn’t I resist her? I could resist Rin, for a year at least.”

“You didn’t entirely resist your human. You started something and then craved to complete it. You couldn’t resist Natsuki because she is Inu-yokai. She gives off the same aura that you do. When both are pure blooded, there is no resisting, only doing.”

“Is there a way to break the bond, to undo what was created?”

“Death or heartbreak. Do you love Natsuki?”

“I didn’t even know her name, why would I love her?”

“You can’t kill her.” Gobodo-sama touched his cheeks again. “You were tender when you bonded her, as if you were bonding a human. Sesshomaru, killing perfection, I should have named you, Koibitomaru, perfect lover.”

He slapped her hand off his face. “I will kill her, if that is what it takes to preserve this, to preserve my family,” he held Taiyomaru to him defensively.

“You’ll find out that part on your own. Sesshomaru do you know how long it took Hisato to return my bond? Seventy five years, I yearned for him after oh, I think, fifty years or so. It took another twenty five convincing him he wasn’t imagining what he was feeling. He could resist me because of his humanity, but I couldn’t resist him. We are doomed to follow our instinct in this way, although instinct can be misleading at times.”

“You will say nothing to Rin.” Sesshomaru moved towards the door. “She’s waking up.” He touched his heart sending waves of comfort and love to Rin. He felt her drifting back into a deep sleep. “She needn’t find out.”

A small knock came to the door. “Chichiue?” It was Yuki’s soft voice. Sesshomaru opened the door, hoping that his daughter’s sensitive ears didn’t hear what they were just discussing.

“Come in,” he called her.

“Can I hold Taiyo now?” She held her arms out. “Please?”

Sesshomaru let a half grin form on his placid lips. “Again, dropping the ending of your little brother’s name?”

Yuki embraced her tiny brother as Sesshomaru placed him in her arms. The small baby filled up her entire chest and then some. “He’s beautiful Chichiue.” She smelled his cheeks. “He smells like you and ka-san and milk and snow.”

The baby started crying and struggling in Yuki’s arms. His tiny feet pushed at her elbow. Sesshomaru took Taiyomaru from Yuki and set him back in his mokomoko. Taiyomaru immediately calmed at his father’s touch. “Quiet little one,” he caressed the infant’s cheek. Blue eyes closed and sleepy bubbles formed on the baby’s mouth.

Yuki yawned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Chichiue will you tuck me in? Haru fell asleep in the dining room. Hideyoshi put him in bed.”

Sesshomaru grasped Yuki’s hand and led her towards her room. “It’s late,” he told her. He hadn’t even bothered to look at the night sky. It was well past the middle of the night.

“I’m so excited to tell my friends in the village. Can I go to Rei-chan’s house in the morning with Haru? I want to tell her our baby came. Her Ka-san is pregnant too, but I don’t know when the baby is coming. Her Chichiue is a Rabbit yokai. He has funny legs.”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered. “Change into your yukata.” He waited in the hallway.

“Yes Chichiue,” she yawned again. “Will you tell me a story?” Yuki took out a lavender yukata from her chest and came into the hallway.

“Which one? Lay down in your bed.” Sesshomaru lifted up her pink blankets. 

“Hmmm…the one where Ojisan cut off your arm.” Yuki lay down on her pillow and clasped her hands by her face.

“I could think of better ones,” Sesshomaru grumbled. He sat on the floor next to Yuki’s head. Harutoga was already flopping over in his sleep catching Yuki in a hug.

“But that one is funny,” Yuki protested.

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. “Choose another one.”

“The one where your arm came back,” she said sleepily. “Which one was it?”

“This one,” Sesshomaru rolled the sleeve up to his left arm.

“You can’t tell,” she touched the arm. She was suddenly up and in Sesshomaru’s lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, “I love you Chichiue.”

He returned her hug and kissed her cheek. “And I you Yuki, lay down.”

She lay back in her bed. Sesshomaru drew the covers over her shoulder and began to tell her the story of Magatsuhi and how his arm regenerated. Yuki fell asleep during the part where Sesshomaru’s wrist was pierced by Magatsuhi’s tentacles. He patted her head lightly and returned to Rin’s side. Taiyomaru was beginning to whimper against his shoulder. “Are you hungry again?” he asked the infant.

* * *

Touma twirled his halberd in his snake-like fingers. Over and over, watching it swirl and appear as if it was one of the cyclones he could summon. He sat against a stone wall, his one golden eye glaring at the Ogre King in front of him. Touma’s hair was down against his shoulders rather than pulled on the top of his head. He wore white hikama against black shoes and a sky blue haori with white bobbling clouds. His black obi matched the sheath slung over his shoulder.

The ogre king’s three eyes scowled at Touma. He cracked his three clawed fingers at him, his mouth tense against his blue skin. “You failed. Again.”

“I didn’t fail,” Touma laughed. “I’m just beginning.” He strode across the floor, flipping his Halberd. “When I’m done with him, he’ll be too distraught to defend himself. You’ll have your revenge and your lands back.”

“He is still safe inside his barrier! The wolves block my children from reclaiming our territories!” The ogre king bellowed.

Touma waved his hand at him. “Tsk tsk…really? Have you no patience? I will deal with the wolves and in time, his lover will leave the safety of the barrier with his children. Then you may have your revenge.” Touma’s smile revealed sharp fangs that protruded slightly from his mouth. “Give me two weeks to confirm something.”

“Confirm what?”

“If he managed to impregnate Natsuki. If he did, I will take her to his home and we can sit and watch from here as his home falls apart,” Touma laughed hysterically. “I can’t wait to see the great Sesshomaru fall.”

“How does this plan give me my lands back?”

“He only took them to protect his human because I tried to kill her. At his full strength, I cannot kill him. Distracted he will be my prey. Broken, he will be my prey and by the time he figures out what I have done, he will find the bodies of her and his children.” Touma slung his Halberd over his shoulder cackling. “Distraught, he won’t care any longer about your lands. Reinforce the southern border. The wolves can only hold out for so long without him.” He disappeared into an orb of light.

* * *

Gobodo-sama left Sesshomaru’s home. As soon as she was clear of the uncomfortable, kami-forsaken barrier that she could only barely pass through because of her bond to Hisato, she transformed into her true form. As a giant white dog her smell was enhanced allowing her a further range. Natsuki’s scent came from the south of her son’s lands. She followed it through a valley of fresh fallen snow, over the partially frozen river and through the trees. It had been two days since her son bound her to him. Gobodo-sama found Natsuki leaning over the river, near white rapids, washing her face. She landed quietly behind the demoness in her human form. She masked her scent and her yoki so as not to alert the young Inu-Yokai she was behind her. The fool girl wore only a semi-sheen yellow yukata to cover her ivory skin. Gobodo-sama closed her eyes, two days would be too soon to sense, she would need to touch her stomach. “Natsuki I warned you,” she flew towards the idiot girl and grabbed her around her throat. “I told you to stay away from my son.”

Natsuki turned in time to see the long clawed fingers wrap around her throat. “Go…gobo…do…” she tried to speak.

“Why did you come to him now?” Her voice was a numbing fury.

“L…le…let g…go,” Natsuki was beginning to panic. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. Black spots were forming around her eyes. “I…w…call…him.”

Gobodo-sama snarled and dropped Natsuki gasping for air onto the snow. She knelt next to the crumpled form, “I will snap your neck before he can find you. I know my son, he won’t care. The bond is new, you mean nothing to him.”

Natsuki let out a frustrated whimper, “I will in time, I know how it works.”

“Do you?” Gobodo-sama’s eyes flashed red, “stupid girl that you are? Stand up, now,” she yanked her up by the arm and placed her hand on Natsuki’s stomach, “do not fight me.”

“What are you doing?” Natsuki could feel the power radiating from Gobodo-sama.

“Seeing if you tempted my son into procreating.” She let her yoki flow into the soft abdomen of young Inu-yokai. Deep within her belly she could feel new life stitching itself together. “Dammit,” Gobodo-sama cursed. “You will stay in my castle from now on.” She grabbed Natsuki by the arm, “or I will kill you and your unborn child.”

“What?” Natsuki’s mouth went dry, “it’s only been two days!” She struggled against the elder yokai’s iron grip. “That’s not long enough-”

“It was long enough, idiot child.” She pulled the girl to her. “Did you think he would love you? That he would stay with you? I will not allow you to destroy what he has built.”

“If he doesn’t come to me when the child comes, we will both die!” Natsuki protested as she flew into the air towards the castle in the sky.

Gobodo-sama responded with an annoyed glare and a low growl as she transformed again and fled into the skies.

* * *

**Two weeks later…**

Natsuki stood in front of her full length mirror. She scrutinized her stomach. It was already beginning to pooch out the slightest amount. Her muscles felt stretched and uncomfortable. She had not been able to leave the castle since Gobodo-sama found her. _At least this room is better than the one I grew up in,_ she thought to herself. The ceilings were high with golden borders. The walls were red like blood. The bed was four poster and not the typical Japanese futon on the floor. There were golden hued dressers and night tables and wide windows that gave Natsuki a view of the sky. A door led to the outside, but was constantly guarded. She could not escape that way. In the back of her head, she felt a yearning to be close to the father of the child inside of her. “You will not approach him,” she was warned again when they landed. “I will not hesitate to kill you or your unborn child.” Her instincts told her to protect the life growing inside of her and avoid the wrath of Sesshomaru’s mother. She regarded Natsuki no more than she would a fly on the wall. Natsuki ate alone in her room or in a large dining hall. She spent time in the garden on the roof, or in the pools of water that were on the bottom floor. Besides that, her time in the castle was spent alone.

As she touched her stomach she heard a knock on the door. The scent was familiar. She quickly garbed herself in a light blue kimono with water flowing around the hem and a light pink sash. She tied it hurriedly as the second nock came. She floated to the door, opening it just enough to see the one eyed, scarred Inu-yokai who had first told her to approach Sesshomaru. “You again?” She stormed back into her room attempting to slam the door on his face.

He pushed it open and let himself in.

She sat down on the bench next to the long windows. “What do you want?” She brushed hair with her fingers.

“The question is what do you want? Expecting I see,” he laughed and sat down on the bench next to her, folding his legs over and crossing his arms. “It’s a shame you can’t leave this room.”

Natsuki resumed brushing her long white hair ignoring the bait from Touma.

“He had a son two weeks ago you know. He has spawned three with tainted blood. Now would be the perfect time for you to make an appearance.” He cleaned the underside of his claws with one nail. “Just think, if you went during their welcoming celebration. His human would be crushed to know that the night she was birthing their son, her lover was in the arms of someone else.”

“What’s in it for you?” Natsuki was getting tired of playing his games.

“Nothing,” he raised his hands innocently. “I’m simply protecting my brother and his future. Do you know how he is looked upon by our kind? A champion of humans? He’ll meet a fate no different than his father’s if something doesn’t change. He must accept that Yokai and humans are not meant to live together.” He scooted closer to Natsuki and grasped her hand. “Not meant to create life together. You feel the same as I do. You don’t want to be bonded to a weak mate do you?”

Those words stung, and dug at her soul. She had heard rumors about some village behind an impenetrable barrier where he protected those with tainted blood. His home was thought to be behind that barrier. Touma was right, if things continued as they did, Sesshomaru’s reputation would be that of a soft, weak Dai-yokai. Not the great and stalwart demon he was. “How do you know so much about his home?”

“I have someone on the inside,” Touma laughed. “I promised one of the ones with tainted blood prestige and honor among our kind if he would but help me rid my brother of his problem with humanity.”

“What do I do?” She stood up with conviction.

“Come with me,” he led her towards the door that exited her room. “Oh, no worries.” His one eye flamed red as he gripped his Halberd behind his back. ”He will be of no consequence in a moment.” The skies darkened to grey. So dark they were almost black. The air filled with lightening, a large streak flamed towards the Inu-Yokai on the outside of her door. Touma opened the door into the rain as the guard fell to the ground below gripping his chest. “Come Natsuki, let’s visit my dear brother.”

Natsuki took Touma’s hand and flew with him out the door, towards Sesshomaru and Rin’s home.

* * *

Rin sat in the middle of her bed. Her hands on either side of her cheeks as Akari yanked on and pulled on the top of her head. Rin groaned in pain. “Why do you always have to make this so painful?” she asked Akari.

Akari chuckled and leaned over her shoulder. “The Queen reflects the light of the King. To us you are royalty, therefore you must look it, and these gorgeous combs Sesshomaru-sama brought back from the southern border before Taiyomaru was born will do just the trick.” She held up three medium sized combs. One was crusted in deep emeralds, one in aquamarines and another in diamonds and pearls.

“I’m tired.” She wanted to plop backwards on the bed. “Are Sango and Miroku here?”

“Yes,” Atsuko came in with a gorgeous sea green kimono. The hem was embroidered gold with deep green and red vines trailing the sides. “I finally finished this.” She held it up for Rin to inspect. “We can use one of your fancier sashes for it.”

Next to Rin Taiyomaru cooed quietly. He was two weeks old. It was time to bring him to present to the village. He was wrapped in thick furs to keep him warm. Only his striped face and thick black hair stuck out from the covers. He was two weeks old and already exhausting Rin. He was relaxed at that moment in the bed, but each night if Sesshomaru wasn’t holding him, Taiyomaru spent the hours screaming. Rin tried to sit still as Akari finished putting in the last jewel encrusted comb. When she was finally done, Rin got up and stood in front of the mirror in the corner of their room. She touched the sticky stuff on the sides of her head and smiled.

“Beautiful.”

She saw Sesshomaru standing in the doorway.

“Leave us,” he commanded Akari and Atsuko. As soon as they were gone and the door was shut. He wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist and kissed the sensitive skin of her neck. His breath made her hair rise and bumps form along her arms. “My heart, when did you become even more beautiful?”

Rin grinned as she turned to return his embrace. She was about to start talking when his lips were on hers. He eased her mouth open, warring his tongue against hers. Rin giggled and pushed him back. “Do we have to do this?”

Sesshomaru smiled, the smile that only came when he was in Rin’s presence. “What? This?” He lowered his lips to hers again. She wrapped one leg around his waist half falling against the mirror. “This I enjoy very much.”

“This is good,” Rin answered out of breath. “But what I really meant was the village. It’s cold outside. Look how thick the snow is. Taiyomaru might get sick, mmh,” she held his face against her neck. His tongue worked from her ear down to her shoulder. He hoisted her other leg around his waist and ran his hands up her thighs till they found her panties. His fingers half slid beneath them skimming across her lower lips then gripping her hips. She tilted her head back giving him access under her chin and the other side of her neck. “Wow,” she whispered.

Sesshomaru set her down carefully, caressing her hips, and the sides of her stomach as he did. “Wow indeed.” He nuzzled her nose. “The villagers enjoy seeing our children. Jaken, Akari and her children melted the snow in the field next to the lake. There are pyres lit around the field and a bonfire in the center. I will hold our son in my mokomoko. He will not get cold and for you I have something,” he walked back to a package she hadn’t noticed him carrying. He handed it to Rin.

She opened it revealing a new overcoat, it was wool on the outside in forest green with pine cones embroidered along the seams that matched the line of her hips. “Is the inside hare?”

“Yes. I had it made especially for you.” He helped Rin try it on. “Beautiful.” Golden eyes gazed at her with deep adoration.

“Why are you so good to me?” Rin embraced Sesshomaru.

“I love you.” He cupped her chin and kissed her mouth again. “The bleeding hasn’t stopped has it?”

Rin shook her head. “Not yet.”

He let out a frustrated growl. “Anymore soreness?” His bent fingers circled her navel.

“Not really.” She touched the scar over his heart. “My demon lover has taken good care of me. There are other ways you know.” She bit the point of his ear and licked the skin down his neck, pushing open his haori. She ran her tongue down his abs, enjoying the low groans of pleasure escaping his lips. “Lay down,” she pushed on his chest with her finger.

“We will be late.” He walked onti their bed and laid onto his back.

“So?” She kissed down his chest again, down his stomach, around his navel and then opened his pants enough to reveal his very erect shaft. She opened her mouth, taking in as much of it as she dared. She felt a clawed hand move under yukata and slowly circle her nipple. The feeling of his fingers made her moan as she sucked on his tip.

He groaned as she continued. He felt his fire building. He pulled her face up to him and took her lips in his own. “You don’t have to do this,” he pulled her close to him.

“It makes you happy,” she simpered in his ear. “It could be weeks before the bleeding stops.”

“Rin…” something curious was tickling the back of his mind. He did his best to ignore the sensation and focus on Rin. His mother told him that Natsuki was dealt with, as of how he was unsure. She didn’t tell him and he didn’t ask. He didn’t care. All he was told was to focus on his family.

“Chichiue!” came a yell from the other side of the door.

“Shit!” Rin yelled pulling his pants back up. “Hide that!” She grabbed a blanket and pulled it over his hips. “Yes, Haru?” Rin called.

“Ojisan said I should say they are here,” he said. “Can I have chocolate?”

“No,” Rin answered. “Remember what it did to your stomach last time?”

“Can I come in?” Harutoga started cracking the door.

Rin and Sesshomaru exchanged glances with each other and sighed. “Yes,” he answered. His fire quickly extinguished. “Later,” he mouthed to Rin. He straightened his clothing as Harutoga came into the room. Harutoga wiggled his opposite colored ears as he did. He was dressed in his best white hikama, and black haori. Sesshomaru handed him a box that included another new smaller outer coat for the little boy and winter boots for his feet. “Put those on Harutoga.” He picked up Taiyomaru in his hands. “Come, we are expected.” He put his hand out to Rin.

She picked up the new kimono and put it on. She tied one of her older matching sashes around her back and smiled. “I just fed him a bit ago, he should be fine,” she watched as Sesshomaru made a nest for Taiyomaru. She smiled watching them together. Harutoga jumped onto Sesshomaru’s back as soon as he had his coat on.

“I want a ride. Chichiue, can I ride on your back?”

The room was filled with laughter. Rin watched the three leave the room while she finished getting on the last of her winter clothes. She stomped her feet into her boots and left the room. Yuki met her halfway down the hallway along with Kagome, Sango, Miroku and Inuyasha. “Why does Haru get new clothes?” Yuki complained.

“Did you think I forgot you little one?” Sesshomaru took another box from their room and handed it to Yuki.

“It’s pink!” She jumped into her father’s arms. She squeezed his neck tightly, then sat down to put the boots on and her new coat.

“She can be a child sometimes?” Inuyasha laughed.

“Sometimes,” Rin laughed. “When she isn’t busy trying to be like her father.”

“Ready?” Kagome asked her, “I hope so. I’m missing class to be here.”

“I’m ready,” Rin smiled holding her hand. She walked down the hall content with her family.

* * *

Natsuki strutted to the shining white barrier. When she flew over it, she discovered how enormous it was. She wasn’t able to see through it from the top, it covered miles and miles of terrain. A raging river disappeared into the barrier along with a forest of thick and luscious pisceas that were covered in snow. Touma ran his Halberd over the edge of the barrier entertained to watch sparks fly. “It seems impenetrable,” Natsuki commented. She ran her hand along the cool feeling shield shocked to find her hand slide through it with ease.

“Don’t be surprised,” Touma told her. “You can enter because of your bond to Sesshomaru. Only those that swear peace and loyalty to the great dog demon can enter. Once inside you should be able to find him easily. Use your bond or your nose.”

“I remember his scent well,” the words came out quietly. Her mind rushed back to the night they had spent together, the different sensations he made her feel.

Touma waved his hand in front of his nose. “Please, save that smell for him. I’m not interested.” He walked away. “Enjoy seeing your bond mate,” he said as he walked away with an evil smile on his lips.

Natsuki entered the barrier with ease. She shivered as it washed over her skin. On the other side she could both sense and smell Sesshomaru’s location. In the background she could hear the sound of festivities, singing and feet stomping. Her nose was overwhelmed with the aroma of many with tainted blood. _So it’s true, this village does exist._ She flew into the air, to the sensation of the one she was bonded too. With each mile she came closer, she felt her heart beat faster.

* * *

Hisato watched quietly leaning against a tree with his arms folded as the musicians played a light footed march. Children danced around the bonfire in the center of the field. Yuki and Harutoga ran around with the other children. They weren’t the only hanyou children. There were hare hanyous, Akari’s fire cat children that were more than hanyou and less than pure blooded, ox, bull, bear and horse, tigers and even a few wolves. He glanced in Rin’s direction, unconcerned that she would find danger in the early evening air. She sat, or was rather pulled onto Sesshomaru’s lap. He cushioned her seat with his mokomoko. Hisato tried to pretend like he couldn’t hear what Sesshomaru was whispering in her ears. The man could make any woman blush and put Hisato to shame. The front of his mokomoko bulged slightly with their newest child. Earlier Taiyomaru was held up in Sesshomaru’s hands and his name announced throughout the village.

The slayer and the Miko danced with their families. The Slayer and her monk husband left their children at their home with friends. They brought their two tailed demon cat. The Miko and her Hanyou husband only brought their white haired daughter, the other one was unable to make it through the well again. It was a joyous occasion. Sesshomaru’s face was as placid and bored looking as it ever was. Rin smiled as she leaned against him. Her skin was still slightly pale from childbirth. Hisato didn’t exactly feel like one of the family but he never felt like he stood out as he did in the castle in the sky. Something caught his attention, a smell he knew wasn’t supposed to be there. “Shit,” he flew into the air and landed in front of Sesshomaru. “Lady Rin, I think we should return now.”

“Why?” Rin was clapping to the music.

Hisato exchanged a worried glance with Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru took Rin off his lap. It was obvious he could now both sense and smell the approaching visitor. “Take Rin and go,” he handed Hisato their infant child.

Hisato wrapped the baby inside one of the loops over his shoulders. “Come Rin, now.”

“No. What’s going on?” Rin stood up and folded her arms.

Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango and Miroku stopped dancing. Inuyasha’s nose worked the air. Kagome pulled an arrow from her quiver. Sango ran to where her Hiraikotsu stood immersed in the dirt. “Something’s coming,” Inuyasha said. “Rin go with Hisato!” he called.

“How did it get past the barrier?” Rin removed her sword from its sheath. Even she could feel the aura coming at them. “What is it?”

“Rin you just birthed Taiyomaru, come with me.” Hisato held out his hand to her, his golden eyes begged her to come with him.

A typhoon of energy landed in front of them. What alighted in front of them was a youthful looking dog demon with arms folded over her chest. She wore regal clothes that revealed the slit of her breasts. She strutted towards Sesshomaru. The music and dancing came to a halt as the entire village formed a circle around the intruder to discover her identity.

“My heart, go with Hisato now,” Sesshomaru commanded Rin as he gave her a push towards Hisato.

Hisato grabbed Rin by the wrist and pulled her against his chest.

“You’re heart?” The demoness laughed at him. “Is that what you call her?” She circled around Hisato and Rin, sniffing the air and staring at them.

Rin ripped her arms from Hisato’s grip. Her sword glowed green. “Who are you?” Rin demanded, daring the demoness to take a step closer to herself or her child.

“She reeks of human birth.” Natsuki’s clawed hand reached out to the infant beginning to caterwaul inside of Hisato’s black mokomoko.

“Back off bitch!” Kagome sent a warning shot of pure pink energy at Natsuki’s hand. Before she could knock another arrow Sesshomaru had the bow in his hand and Kagome’s hands over her head. “Sesshomaru?” Kagome questioned him.

_Dammit,_ he cursed himself, _the bond compels me to protect her_. It was taking every ounce of his energy not to soak the Miko’s hand in dokkasu.

“Sesshomaru do you know her?” Inuyasha had Tetsusaiga drawn and stood at the ready.

“Of course he knows me,” Natsuki’s dove like voice filled the air with sarcasm and disdain. She continued circling Rin and Hisato. “Sesshomaru knows me, intimately, don’t you?”

“Sesshomaru?” Rin turned to look at him, her voice beginning to quaver.

“Hisato take her now,” Sesshomaru released Kagome’s hand. He flew at Natsuki. In less than a second he had her neck in vice-like grip in his right arm.

“Why dear one? You don’t want her to know what happened between us?” Natsuki laughed. “You can’t do it, our bond won’t let you.”

“Bond?” Rin felt like she would be sick. “What bond?”

“Sesshomaru what did you do?” Inuyasha’s mouth was on the floor.

All eyes were on him. Mentally he told his hand to close around Natsuki’s neck. He willed dokkasu to flee from his claws. He fought an internal battle to end the mistake he began two weeks before in that moment. He glared at his hand for disobeying his command, for not ending her life. Something was drawing his gaze lower, to her pelvis. He felt something, sensed something other, as if a part of himself were embedded within her. His eyes widened when realization came to him.

Hisato attempted to fly into the air with Rin in hand. She released her sword against his legs, careful to only throw his balance off and not bring harm to Taiyomaru.

“Chichiue who is this?” Yuki held her hand up threateningly at the intruder. “She smells funny. She smells like you did when the baby was born.”

Sesshomaru dared to look at Rin who had not left. Her eyes betrayed her emotions. Her scent rose. He had not inhaled that aroma from her since the day he returned after Yuki’s birth, after abandoning her for three months. It stunk of figs that had been left in the sun for too long, of flowers that had wilted against the scorching sun, it stunk of a broken heart. He approached her, “Rin…”

“Don’t!” She backed away from him. “What did you do? What?” Rin’s breathing was coming faster than she wanted. “Who is she?”

“His lover Natsuki. Don’t you know, the night you were in labor with that thing,” she flicked her fingers at Hisato’s breast containing the baby, “Sesshomaru bonded me.” She wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru’s shoulders.

He brushed her off gently removing her hands from his body. “Silence!” he yelled at Natsuki. “Hisato take Rin, now.” His expression was pained. His throat trembled. He grabbed Natsuki by the arm, making them both disappear into a sphere of light.

Rin walked dazed to Hisato’s arms and allowed him to carry her and Taiyomaru back to their home. “What just happened?” Her eyes were burning. “What…”

Akari and Atsuko bade a quick goodbye to their lovers, climbed onto their horses and adjured them to run back to the house.

“What the hell did he do?” Inuyasha looked at Kagome.

“Bonded someone else?” Sango asked confused. “Can he do that? I thought the bond ensured his loyalty to Rin.”

“Not exactly,” Jaken walked up with the children. “It ensures the female’s loyalty. Male inu-yokai may bond more than one. It’s neither common nor uncommon.”

“But it’s not what we do.” Kagome slung her bow over her shoulder. “Rin must be so hurt. Inuyasha quickly, take me back to their home.” She jumped onto his back.

“Miroku,” Sango’s tone came across commanding. “Kirara!” she called as they both jumped on her back and flew for Sesshomaru’s home.

“What happened?” Harutoga looked at Yuki. He held her hand tightly in his own.

“I want to go home now,” she told Jaken with tears in her eyes.

“Come with me little ones,” the sultry tone of their grandmother came from behind them. Harutoga and Yuki ran to their grandmother seeking refuge against her legs.

“Who was that lady Soba-sama.” Yuki held onto her grandmother’s neck as she flew into the air. “Why was she so mean to Ka-san?”

“Quiet Yuki,” Gobodo-sama replied. _I’m going to kill her, pregnant or not I’m going to kill her. If I can just convince my son’s instincts to allow me to._

* * *

Hisato landed by the back entrance of their home. He had to hold Rin by the elbow to keep her from tripping on her own feet as she made her way back inside her home. She hobbled cautiously towards the door to her room, her throat felt tense, tight like she couldn’t breathe. Tears were threatening to flow from her eyes. Her hands were shaking, she couldn’t tell if she was livid or heart broken. “Hisato,” she asked as he handed her Taiyomaru. “What…what just happened?”

“Sesshomaru-sama should explain it to you,” he told her.

“Y…y…you knew?” her gaze was piercing.

“Yes,” he lowered his head. “I knew. As the mate of Sesshomaru-sama’s mother, I was made aware of the situation and sworn to silence. Before we left I sent for her.” He closed his eyes. “She is bringing Yuki and Harutoga.”

“By her?” Rin finally began to lose her composure the tears burning a river from the corner of her eyes down her cheeks.

“By him,” he somberly answered.

“I…I need to leave…I need to go somewhere else.” Her feet gave out beneath her.

“He’ll find you. You could hide on the other end of the earth and he would know where you are.” Hisato held Rin’s elbows helping her land softly on her futon. “Rest Rin-sama.”

“How? How can he know where I am?” Rin entreated Hisato.

“His yoki inside of you acts like a beacon. Rest, I’m so sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out about this,” Hisato adjured her.

“Why?” Rin’s mouth was thick was sorrow. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Because he didn’t want to hurt you,” Hisato answered.

“A little late for that isn’t it?” Inuyasha pushed Hisato out of the way. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Inuyasha? Kagome, Sango,” the two women fell to their knees next to Rin. “Close the door,” she spoke as Miroku entered. Under her breath she whispered quiet enough she was sure Hisato would not hear, “you have to help me leave. I can’t stay here.”

“He’ll find you,” Miroku reminded her.

“Not if you purify his yoki from my body. Kagome please? I…I can’t stay here. Have Taisho and Sota take my children out of the barrier.” She lifted Taiyomaru to her breast. “Please?”

“He’ll sense it, the moment you begin,” Inuyasha looked at Kagome. “It’s too dangerous. He will kill you.”

“I can handle O-ni-sama,” Kagome asserted. “Rin, you should think about this. You’re in shock right now.”

“No…I can’t stay here…I can’t. How could he?” She began to cry in earnest. “How could he do this?”

“How are we going to do this?” Miroku asked silently.

“The green powder, do you have any here?” Inuyasha inquired. He knelt next to her one on knee and touched her shoulder softly. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“He won’t let me think! He won’t give me time to think!” Rin started crying again. “I can’t…please…I can’t!”

“Okay, we’ll do it. Sango, go find Taisho and Sota, they’ll be in trouble for helping,” Inuyasha sat down next to Rin. “Kagome, you’ll need to be prepared. He’s going to be angry. He won’t be thinking straight. Miroku, when the baby is done eating, take him. The powder is dangerous for him. We’re going to need to be able to transport all of us. Is Hatchi still outside the barrier?”

“Yes,” Miroku answered.

“We need to get moving. We don’t know when he’ll return,” Sango went into the garden with Kirara in her hands.

“The supply closet, next to the public kitchen has the powder and the cure. You need to destroy the jars that are all black. All of them.” Rin tried wiping her eyes.

“I’ll do it,” Inuyasha said. “Kagome, get started. He’ll know once you start. We’ll have to move fast.”

* * *

Sesshomaru held a death grip on Natsuki’s arm. He carried her to the other side of the barrier, past the snow covered fields and tree littered forest. Over the lakes and the valley that he had claimed as his home. When they landed he practically threw her into a pile of snow covered ground. He ignored the thud of her body as it landed and the snow was kicked up in the process. His lips trembled in rage. He craved that she were a pathetic human, that there was no bond between them that would stop him from disemboweling her. “Is that how you treat the mother of your child?”

His mouth went dry. His face paled to the color of the snow. _So that is what I was sensing. How long did mother say? Three months? I’m such an idiot._

Natsuki rose from the snow and dusted herself off, laughing. “Do you like?” She pulled the fabric down around her stomach to accentuate the small bulb growing in her abdomen. “You have nothing to say?”

“Leave.” He turned to walk away from her.

“I’d rather like to stay. Was that white haired thing your daughter? She’s disgusting.”

Sesshomaru was on top of Natsuki before she could speak another word. He pinned her down against the snow, crushing her body with his own. “Silence.”

“Is that all you can say?” she giggled as she traced the line of his jaw with her fingers, pushing her face closer to his. “A pure-blooded dai-yokai grows in my stomach. You have no further need for that pathetic human or her off-spring!”

He growled at her yanking her head back by the white hair on top of her head.

“What are you going to do? You can’t kill me. She already knows. She won’t accept you for what you are. The Dai-yokai you are. I will,” she licked his top lip.

Against his will, the action, the warmth of her tongue against his mouth aroused his senses. He had meant to rip into her for insulting his daughter, but all he could focus on was the warmth of her body, the feeling of their yokis combining, radiating off each other, pulling them closer. The fire between them was sucking him in, again. His stomach inflamed with need, warmth, arousal. He sniffed her neck. Her heat was rising. She smelled of a fresh summer breeze and the ocean. It was intoxicating, irresistible. He let his nose trail the dip in her neck. His hand pulled back the front of her kimono. His lips found the peak of her breast, the tip of her nipple filled is mouth. The sensation gave rise to his essence. He ran his tongue over her peaks, up her neck and down the middle of her chest.

Low growls escaped her throat. “That’s better.” She forced her calming yoki inside of him, taunting him, tugging on his instincts. She reached for his obi untying it. She ripped off his haori exposing his chest. She ran her claws down his chest slicing into his skin. She wrapped her legs around his tensing waste accepting his heat within her, “yes, oh!” He was inside of her in only seconds. His eyes red and flaming, his hips pressing into her thighs. His hands explored her slight mounds, ran down her pulpy waist to the low rise just below her navel. ”Oh, Sesshomaru,” she called out his name, bucking her hips helplessly against him. She ran her hands over the stiff lines of his stomach as he grunted on top of her. He pinned her hands over her head, ignoring her protests to release them.

He came in ecstasy and collapsed on top of her, in time to feel his chest flame. “Dammit,” he cursed himself for falling for his instinct so easily again. Something else was eating at him, eating at the back of his mind, someone was tampering with his bond to Rin. He could feel it, his ability to sense her location was fading. His yoki was being cleansed from her body. He shook himself free of Natsuki leaving her in the snow, as he adjusted his clothing and flew as fast as he could to Rin’s fading location.

He landed in the garden in time to see Kagome with her hands over Rin’s head. The brilliant rose light caused Rin’s entire body to glow and the neon green of his yoki to flee her body. “Stop!” he commanded Kagome.

“Stay back Sesshomaru,” Inuyasha warned him with his blade drawn. “She doesn’t want to see you right now.”

“Stop!” He flew into the room, blasting past Inuyasha drawing Bakusaiga.

“Stop?” Rin turned on him. The last traces of his yoki gone from her body, “stop? You cheated on me! You were unfaithful!”

“You smell like her bastard,” Inuyasha added coming from the hallway.

“Back off Inuyasha,” Hisato drew his swords. “This is between them. What are you doing Rin-sama? Allow him to explain!” He could sense it, the change in her, something was missing. “You’re breaking the bond…” he placed his hand over his heart.

“I gave you everything!” Rin screamed at him.

Sesshomaru flung Kagome out of the way. He grabbed Rin around the shoulders. “I don’t love her.”

“Is that why you did her again just now? Even I can smell it,” Inuyasha attempted to move closer.

“I said stay back!” Hisato flung a bright white blade from one of his katanas at Inuyasha. “She’s coming.” He dodged a blow from Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru sniffed the air, his heart turned to panic. “Where are my children?” He shook Rin’s shoulders. “Where are my children?”

“Gone, I sent them away,” she answered him just as coolly. “Let me go. I’m leaving.”

“I’m not letting you go,” Sesshomaru held tight to her. “What are you doing?” He tried to turn her so he could look in her eyes.

“Leaving…I…I put up with a lot from you. A lot because you are who you are. Because of what you are. I loved you Sesshomaru, I loved you so much and this is how you return it? By taking someone else?”

“It was instinct Rin, it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything. She means nothing to me,” he tried to find the words. He felt as if nothing he could say would heal the gaping wound in her heart. “I can’t feel you,” he tried to reach his yoki out to her body, to replace what was lost and was hit with a sharp barrier. His eyes flashed to Kagome who stood in the corner tapping her foot. “Drop the barrier Miko, now.”

Kagome shook her head. “This isn’t how human relationships work Sesshomaru. You can’t undo this.”

“Let me go!” Behind her back she held a package of the green dust she had made so long ago. He would soon be blind, his scent blighted and she would escape.

“You know you cannot over power me,” he howled in desperation. He raised his yoki in an attempt to beat back Kagome’s spiritual powers. Hers raised in response nearly causing him to collapse.

“I don’t need to overpower you,” Rin’s harsh brown eyes turned to his. She ripped the package open with her thumb and slammed it in his face the same time Inuyasha threw a package at Hisato.

“What’s going on?” Jaken came scurrying down the hall. As the dust surrounded him, he covered his eyes and nose with the hem of his arm, “no…not this again!” He ran back to the store rooms.

Sesshomaru hissed in pain as the dust hit his eyes and was inhaled through his nose. His world went white. His sense of smell impeded by the putrid smell of the green dust. “Dammit,” he cursed as he rubbed his eyes trying to relieve both the sting and the effects. He felt Kagome’s spiritual powers fling him backwards against the wall forcing him to lose his grip on Rin lest his claws maim her. Inuyasha advanced against Hisato wearing a mask to protect his eyes and nose.

In that moment many things happened at once. Rin covered her face to avoid the effects of the powder and fled to the garden where Sango and Miroku awaited on Kirara. She climbed onto Kirara’s back feeling weak. Inuyasha threw kango soha into the wall barely missing Hisato, who was forced to flee into the children’s rooms as the blinding power of the dust overcame his senses.

Gobodo-sama landed in the garden. Miroku threw sutras at her to no avail. She slapped them down, ripping them in half with her claws. “Back off!!” Kagome called as she stalked to Sesshomaru. She slammed her hands onto his chest, binding his hands against the walls of his home with spiritual energy. She heard a hiss come from behind her. Kagome held one hand against Sesshomaru’s chest, over the scar where Rin said the bond would be. Her powers worked inside of him cleansing the bond from the inside.

“Stop!” Gobodo-sama called. She attempted to come at Kagome and was met with a powerful wall she could barely push past. It blew against her, kicking up the dust storm as if a harsh gale was blasting the room. “You don’t know what you are doing! You’re hurting him!”

“I’m sorry Sesshomaru,” Kagome apologized, her eyes lit pink around the irises, the ends of her hair radiated the same rose colored light. A whirlwind of holy energy filled the room burning his skin and his mother’s. The winds forced his mother back, her feet digging holes in their bedroom. Kagome reached again for his chest, she closed her eyes, and felt for his bond. She found it, in the depths of his heart.

“Don’t Miko,” Sesshomaru’s voice was far too pathetic for one of his stature. His face twisted in pain as he attempted to concentrate all his strength on holding on to his bond to Rin. “Don’t take it.”

“I’m sorry. It’s what she wants. It was wrong what you did. Yokai or not,” she pulled even harder, bringing her hand away from his chest. “This has to happen Sesshomaru,” Kagome met his eyes. “We spoke about it, remember? I’m so sorry.” As she said it electric strings of pink light flickered between them. Kagome’s brow was covered in sweat. She felt a clawed hand dig into her shoulder. She turned to see Gobodo-sama struggling against her power. Kagome used her free palm to cover the fingers on her shoulder. “That was a warning…come any closer and it will be the rest of you.” She intensified her light against Sesshomaru’s bond, a flash of pink bled into his chest, breaking the connection between him and Rin.

Sesshomaru collapsed on the ground. Kagome took that moment to blast Gobodo-sama backwards. “I was just playing with you two weeks ago. Don’t test my strength, Inuyasha?” she called.

He grabbed her around the waist and threw her onto his back. They fled through the exit in the back of the forest, past the grove where the Healer stole her memories, past the river, and out of the barrier. Waiting outside, Taisho, Sota and Izayoi held the hands of two scared and confused children along with the tiny two week old Taiyomaru. Rin looked back at the barrier and closed her eyes in sorrow.

“Where should we go?” Kagome asked her.

“Anywhere,” Rin answered. “I can’t stay here.”

“What about Chichiue?” Harutoga asked.

“What about Chichiue? I don’t want to leave him! Why do we have to go?” Yuki’s voice broke. “I want Chichiue.”

“You’ll see him again,” Rin promised them. “Come…let’s go.”

Outside the barrier Hatchi waited to carry away Sesshomaru’s family. As they left, the sky covered over suddenly in dark clouds. New snow fell in droves, washing away their scent, leaving no trace, no tracks and no hope of being found. It beat down a blizzard covering everything in its path.

* * *

Touma watched from the trees while gripping his Halberd with a malevolent grin on his face, “and now he won’t be able to find you.”

* * *

Sesshomaru sat collapsed against the wall. His chest felt like he had just been impaled. His mother strode to him. She lift his chin and looked into his eyes. “You can’t see?”

“Don’t inhale the powder,” he told her. “She made it specifically to affect us.” He couldn’t move. His shoulders were on fire. He gazed upwards, his world white. “Find them,” he adjured his mother. He panted with the trauma caused to his body and his soul. _Is this what you warned me about two weeks ago Miko? Will she come back to this Sesshomaru?_

“I knew something was off when their cousins came for them.” She left the room and transformed as she flew into snow ridden sky. Hisato came from the children’s room limping. Pieces of adamantite pierced his body. One in his ankle, another in his shoulder and one in his stomach. Had he been any less than who he was the stomach injury would have been fatal. He bent over and pulled the ones in his shoulder, stomach and ankle out and collapsed in a pool of blood in the hallway. Jaken came running from up the hall. “She destroyed the antidotes! All of them,” Jaken told him. “Sesshomaru-sama, do you remember the anti-dote?”

“Don’t bother,” Akari came forward with a scarf wrapped over her nose, “we won’t find it. Not in the middle of winter. Not unless we go to that scarred hanyous farm. We don’t grow it. What we had is what we had.” She walked cautiously stepping over the broken glass, avoiding green dust on the ground.

“Where is Hideyoshi?” Sesshomaru pushed himself off the ground.

“I don’t know Sesshomaru-sama,” Jaken answered.

Sesshomaru felt along the wall of his room searching for the open door to the garden. He tripped on the chests and the mess of broken marble flooring until he found the door. As he stumbled his hand went to his heart. “It’s gone?” The area of flesh that used to be covered with the root like scar looked as it had before he had seen his father in the underworld. “It’s gone,” he choked. He allowed his eyes to turn red, allowing him to make out shadows.

“Sesshomaru-sama where are you going?” Jaken asked.

“To find them,” he rose into the air, his face instead of breaking into the grin with the rush of power from turning into his true form, transformed into a frown. With a low howl of sorrow, his body shifted. As a big white dog, he couldn’t entirely see, now the world was a mess of black and white, his senses tingling. Snow and wind pounded against his fur making it impossible to find their scent. He willed his yoki to combat the effects of the dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that happened. What's going to happen next?
> 
> Remember you can follow me on twitter for updates or even to ask questions  
> twitter.com/elohiniar


	7. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru searches for Rin and his children, meanwhile Rin makes a new life for herself.
> 
> A/N: Holy guacomole, I never realized how long these chapters were when I posted on FF. I am cutting them in half so although this is 17 chapters on FF it's going to be more on here to avoid the 9,000 word chapters that FFN readers love.
> 
> I start school again next week so I will try to continue your once a week postings!
> 
> MY STORY THE DISEASE: REINCARNATION STORY WAS NOMINATED FOR BEST ANGST ON TUMBLR! https://feudalconnection.tumblr.com/
> 
> I WOULD LOVE WHEN VOTING OPENS IF YA'LL WOULD VOTE FOR ME. IT'S THE SEQUEL TO THIS STORY SO UM...DON'T READ AHEAD JUST VOTE. OR NOMINATE THIS TO BE ALL ANGSTY TOO! WHO KNOWS!

**Four days later…**

Sesshomaru landed in Kaede’s village. Their scents were nowhere to be found. From a hut around the bend he could smell the Monk and the Taijia. He flew back into the air and blasted for their home. For four nights in a row he searched for Rin and his children, unable to locate them. The fresh fallen snow covered their scent and their tracks, leaving him nothing to follow. He could no longer sense her location, they were lost to him. He cursed himself for ever trusting his hanyou brother. He landed in front of the Monk’s house and ripped the door flap off the wall. “Where is she?”

Sango stood up with her Hiraikotsu in hand. Miroku threatened him with sutras and a raised metal staff. “We don’t know,” Sango answered. “If you’ve come to fight, you’ll regret it.”

“We both know that is not true.” Sesshomaru’s anger was swelling. “Where did you take my children!?” He slashed at Sango. “I spared you once for trying to kill what is dear to me, that was a mistake.”

Miroku stood up, metal staff and sutras in hand. He pushed Sango out of the way of another attack. “Listen to me Sesshomaru-sama, we don’t know where Inuyasha took her. They did not return here.”

“Where is Inuyasha?” He flared at them. “Where is the Miko?” His voice dripped with despair.

“Back through the well,” Sango said sympathetically. “They knew you would come here and threaten us.”

Sesshomaru stopped short of grabbing Sango by the throat. His chest trembled as he inhaled in an attempt to hold in his emotions. “Who is protecting them?” _She’s still recovering from giving birth to Taiyomaru._

“Kohaku,” Miroku answered somberly. “His wife died a few years ago. They never had any children. But not in his village. I know it’s no use lying to you. We don’t know where they took her and the children. We just know they returned and went through the well to avoid your wrath.”

_If I’m alive in that time, I will find them and kill them,_ he told himself. He adjured himself to remember this five hundred years from now. If he was alive, he would find the Miko’s house and force it out of them, then somehow find a way to get a message back to his younger self. He had to force back the feeling of despair entering his heart. He had yet to allow himself to feel the deep ache that was entering his heart, the feeling of loneliness, the hopelessness of not knowing where his family was, not being given the chance to explain, to make it right. _Could I make it right?_ He shook his head and flew back to his home. As he had for the previous four days, he shifted to his true form. He inhaled deeply through his nose. He took in the scents around him. He was sure they had not come this direction. He couldn’t smell anything. There were no traces left behind. Nothing, no scratch marks on the trees, no traces of Yuki’s dokkasu, or Harutoga’s whip. It was like they vanished along with his heart.

* * *

He landed in the garden of his home. The hot springs taunted him with the heat that he used to share with Rin. The sakura tree mocked him with the memories it held. The field of daisies that was frost bitten and covered in snow accused him of the sins he committed against Rin. The house was dark, quiet, lonely without the patter of little feet to greet him, without Rin waiting for him. He tried to stop the stinging liquid that was entering the corners of his eyes, but all he could do was sit underneath the sakura tree and breathe deeply, staring at the sky hoping that where ever she was, she was safe and that his enemies didn’t find her. His body writhed in the pain of loss, as his hand gripped his heart, _I can’t feel you…my heart, where did you go?_

* * *

Hisato rubbed his eyes. It took a day longer for him to regain his full sight and sense of smell than it had Sesshomaru-sama. He washed his eyes out again in the washroom and emerged dressed in completely black attire. He walked to where the dirty clothes were cleaned, picking through the them to find pieces that smelled heavily of the children. He tucked them into a bag and stalked back to the hallway. He found Jaken standing outside the door to the Lord and Lady’s bedroom. “I’m leaving Jaken.”

“He didn’t give you permission,” Jaken sniped at Hisato. “Look at him, I knew Rin was trouble the moment we, ah!”

Hisato kicked Jaken down the hall. “She was hurt. She wasn’t thinking and I don’t need his permission. I answer to one that outranks him.”

“Do you?” Sesshomaru stood in the doorway. His eyes were blood shot. “Where are you going?”

“To find them Sesshomaru-sama. Your mother requested I ensure Rin’s safety and that is what I will do. I am taking these clothes to the wolves, the fox demons, and sentries from your mother’s castle, whom I know we can trust. We will find your Rin.”

Sesshomaru inclined his head in silent permission. Hisato left the house via the private entrance and flew into the sky. _Idiot girl, you just gave birth, you aren’t safe out there on your own._

* * *

_Brilliant girl,_ Touma watched the hut from the bushes. The hanyou and his Miko brought Rin to a home past the southern border of Sesshomaru’s land. Past the border where the ogres lived. This was better than he could have imagined. Her hut was built near the ocean against a cliff face. The weather was warmer there. Where the snow covered the ground of her home, the lands here were cold in the winter but rarely saw snowfall. The water of the ocean was chilled. She lived two miles from the nearest human village. Touma didn’t feel the need to attack, not yet. He would continue to stalk his prey. He wanted to break her first, into pieces. He wasn’t done toying with either his brother or his human. He simply watched as the boy-child ran up and down the beach. He picked up shells, built sand forts and dabbled his feet in the water. _A relaxed one,_ Touma noted quietly to himself. The girl-child was another story completely. She had run off. He would use it to his advantage.

Touma stared at his reflection in the ocean, he watched as his hair became black, his markings faded, his nails shortened to look like human nails. He removed the armor he wore down his arms and across his chest, and set the Halberd aside. He covered them with bushes. For all who saw him, he now looked human. He turned his yoki inward, knowing that Rin was experienced picking up the auras of demons.

He turned towards the forest, towards the scent of the girl-child running from home. He chuckled to himself, he motioned to the trees. He was answered by rustling and growling. Two large ogres walked behind the brush line following Touma as he stalked towards Yuki.

* * *

Yuki ran into the forest. She was angry and confused. No one would explain to her, what happened between her mother and father. Ka-san couldn’t hide it from her, she was mad at him and hurt. Those feelings had their own distinct smells. Yuki just didn’t know why. Everything was finally starting to be normal again after the Healer took Ka-san’s memories. Ka-san and Chichiue were happy again, in love like they always were, then that strange demoness came and talked about a bond. Yuki had heard her father talk about it. She knew that it meant some kind of connection, but she wasn’t sure that meant either. Yuki stuck her tongue out to the forest behind her. “You can’t make me stay here. I’m finding Chichiue.”

During their trip, she tried to memorize which way they came. The direction the sun was facing, the direction of the moon, when they travelled at night. She tried to remember the shapes of rocks, the colors of the trees, when the snow began to melt and the weather became warmer. She knew they headed south, that meant she just needed to travel north to get back home. She hopped over boulders, into branches, jumping from limb to limb. She didn’t care if she worried her mother by running off. She wanted to be home with her father, in her futon with the pink sheets, with her friends. Not in a hut that was miles from the nearest human village.

She continued on, further and further until she came to a thick forest and the side of a mountain face. She tapped her cheek with a clawed finger, trying to remember. “Did we come this way?” She looked up. It was a steep cliff with no hand-holds or foot holds. _Why can’t hanyous fly?_ she pouted. There was no way over it from this direction. She had to try another way. She ran along the side of the great rock face. She had already been gone for hours and then she heard rustling in the trees.

She sniffed the air. “Uh-oh…I know that smell.” Yuki tried to climb into one of the trees only to be swiped out of it and land on her back on the forest floor, knocking the air out of her.

A large green ogre came charging at her. She log rolled towards his feet. Her father’s voice sung in her ears. _Ogres have the advantage because they are big, but they are stupid._ She dodged the hands coming at her and ran between their legs. The ogre groaned as it bent over trying to cup her in its’ hands. _They have weaknesses like any yokai. They’re slow._ She ran up a tree. _The skin around their necks is soft._ She jumped from the tree limb and flipped in the air. _Take them in one long swipe. You’re small Yuki, don’t think you can take them with just claws alone. begin releasing your poison the moment you find your target._ She extended her nails and let the green poison flood from them. _There is a large vein in the side of the neck, take them down from there._ Just as she sunk her claw into the neck of the green one chasing her, a three eyed blue one came from the tall pines. _They travel in pairs._ “Dammit!” Yuki leapt off the shoulder and flipped backwards sliding down the back of the other. _Always be attentive for the second one._ It was too late. The blue ogre knocked her back down on the ground. She landed with a thud.

It’s foot was about to stomp down on top of her, when she saw someone in the forest with long black hair. He started throwing rocks at the ogres face. It cried in pain.

Yuki wiped the blood from her right hand and stood up again. She charged the blue ogre. The green one wasn’t dead yet, but would be in time. She bounded into the air, jumped on to a tree branch, landed on the back of the blue ogre and slashed her claw into the warm vein in its neck slicing it from the point where it connected to his head down to his shoulders. The gush of fluid made her lose her footing, she slipped down the back of the ogre and crashed onto the forest floor. “Chichiue would tell me to focus more on my balance.” She rolled out of the way as the massive body came tumbling down.

The strange man with long black hair came towards her. “Are you okay?” he called.

Yuki eyed him cautiously. _Trust no one but those nearest to us. You are the daughter of a Dai-yokai, that makes you a target._ She wiped her hands and feet on the forest floor as she stood up.

“You aren’t human are you?” the man asked. “What are you doing all the way out here alone?”

She wiped her mouth. Her ears wiggled on the top of her head. She tried to get a sense of who the man was by smelling him. He looked human but something about his smell didn’t. “You aren’t human either,” she said.

“Not entirely. My great-grand father was a demon,” he said to her. “Come, let me take you home.”

“I’m fine,” she said just as her stomach made a loud grumbling noise. She rolled her golden eyes frustrated. “Well I am hungry.”

“Look,” he opened his bag and showed her pieces of dried meat. “How about you eat and we get you back home. The forest isn’t safe at night and the sun will be setting soon.”

Yuki thought about it. “Okay,” she walked forward and took one of the pieces of meat out.

“Where were you headed?” His eyes were the strangest color blue, and his voice soft. It reminded her of her father’s voice.

Yuki continued chewing the tough meat. She wasn’t about to tell this strange person that she was running away from home to find her father. “I live by the ocean,” she answered, “with my mother and brothers.”

“Is she human?”

“Yes,” Yuki answered.

“Then your father was a yokai?”

“Yes.” She took another bite of the salty dried meat.

“Which kind?”

“Inu,” she said placidly.

“How old are you?”

“Old enough.” She raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking me so many questions?”

“Just curious,” he raised his hands up innocently. “If you’ve had enough to eat, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand to her.

Yuki ignored it and walked past him with her arms folded around her sides. “If you try anything,” she held a hand out to a tree and sprayed a load of poison against the bark, “that will be you. Consider that your warning.” She led the way back to her hut. It would take them an hour to get there.

* * *

A long hour of huffing it through the forest they finally made it back to her home by the ocean front. The sun had already set, the only light left was the deep grey of evening. Rin rocked the baby in her arms. Taiyomaru had been miserable since they left their home. He spent the nights crying. Rin grit her teeth as she saw Yuki coming home late with a man next to her. Rin hadn’t wanted anyone to know where they lived. There were too many risks, especially this far south. However, this far south she had hoped he wouldn’t be able to find them and it would give her time to process her emotions, “Yuki.” She shook her head. Rin had rings around her eyes. “You shouldn’t run off.”

“I’ll do as I please.” Yuki brushed past her mother purposely elbowing her out of the way as she walked into the hut and sat down next to Harutoga.

“Where were you? Ka-san was worried!” Harutoga scratched his black ear, and puffed his hair from his face.

“Looking for Chichiue,” she whispered so only Harutoga could hear.

“She’s a sweet child,” the man told Rin. “My name is Higan. I live in the village.” He bowed to Rin..

Rin regarded him cautiously as she bowed in return. She questioned whether she should give her real name. She couldn’t remember if it was well known in the yokai world or not. “Rin,” she answered.

“All three of them are hanyou? Where is the father? This one looks young. Is it a he?”

“Yes. Would you like to come in for some tea? So I can thank you for returning my daughter,” she asked the man. “Their father will return in time,” Rin lied. The mere mention of Sesshomaru made Rin bite the side of her mouth to stop crying. She didn’t want the man to think that they were alone, she knew she had to be cautious.

“I would enjoy that.” Higan entered their hut with a smile on his face.

Something about the man made Yuki uncomfortable. She cracked her claws.

“Yuki behave,” Rin scolded her.

“Leave me alone.” Yuki stood up and walked out of the hut. She ignored her mother telling her where she was allowed to go and went to the water. She removed her shoes and let her tiny toes sit in the water.

“Who is this Rin?” Kohaku popped his head down from the roof of the hut. His pony tail flipped upside down making it look like he had a tail a foot past the end of his head.

"Higan-dono,” Rin answered. “He found Yuki in the forest and brought her safely home.” She her attempted to soothe Taiyomaru.

“Nice to meet you Higan-dono. I’m Kohaku, a close friend of the family.” Kohaku shared. He dropped to the ground and followed Yuki out to the beach. Yuki gave him a threatening glare when he reached out to grab her shoulder. “Just like her father,” Kohaku muttered jumping out of the way of her claws.

“You know there are many ogre in this area.” Higan’s nearly black eyes tracked over to Rin.

“I’m aware. They don’t concern me,” she adjusted her sword on her hip while bending over their hearth. She stirred the hot water and added mint tea leaves to the it.

“She’s a feisty one,” he pointed at Yuki who was attacking Kohaku.

“Kohaku-san!” Rin called from the hut, “look out for her dokkasu. It’s like her father’s!”

“Who is their father?” Higan asked.

“I’m sure you haven’t heard of him.” Rin knew that was a lie. Sesshomaru had more than made a name for himself in the last ten years, even before that.

“She told me they are Inu-hanyou,” Higan commented. “My great grandfather was a demon of some kind. I’m sure you feel me giving off an aura.”

“I sensed it.” She removed a cup for Higan and handed it to him. “Do you know what kind?”

“No, and I have no power to show for it either, sadly.” He blew the water before taking a sip.

Harutoga’s nose worked next to the stranger. “You have salted meat.” The little boy’s mouth watered.

“Your children are hungry.” Higan brought out his bag. “It’s salted boar. They make the best salted meats in the village. Perhaps I could walk you there.”

Rin closed her eyes with her back turned to the stranger. She looked at her son, pointed ears, with the black streak, fangs, claws, there was no way she could take him to the village. At least Taiyomaru she could hide somewhat, as long as no one saw the two prominent marks on his face. “Are yokai welcome at this village?”

“It’s like any human village.” Higan handed Harutoga several pieces. “And more so because of the constant Ogre attacks.”

“Perhaps one day then.” Rin sat down with her own cup of tea.

“Are you hungry Rin?”

“I’m fine,” she lied. She was starving. Hunting was scarce in these lands. She still had her jewel encrusted combs. She had never taken them out that night. She knew they would get a good price. Kohaku had spent the last two days setting traps. _If only Yuki would stop being so difficult, she could catch something._

“Well I should be on my way then, perhaps I will visit you again,” Higan held out his hand.

Rin considered it for a few moments, what it would mean having a male visitor. _I was only seventeen when Sesshomaru and I…I never had a chance to explore other relationships._ “I would like that,” she grasped his hands. “Thank you.” She watched as the broad shouldered black haired man walked away from their hut towards the bay where the river emptied. Rin sighed. _Does this mean I really am done with Sesshomaru?_

* * *

**Three weeks later…**

It was night-time. Rin sat by the ocean as it lapped at her feet, chilling her toes. She pulled her knees to her chest, trying to ignore the sounds of the infant crying in the hut. If he wasn’t nursing, he was screaming and it seemed as though it would never stop. _He wants his father_ , her mind spoke to her. Yuki refused to sleep. She leaned against the wall of the hut. _They all want their father. I want their father. How could he do this?_ Rin cried softly, her knees shaking, tears falling from her eyes. _I thought he loved me._ She glanced at the moon. It was a small crescent reminding her of what she had left behind almost three weeks before. She missed the way his arms wrapped around her, the way he made her feel complete, his voice, the comfort and the warmth. _Why did he take another?_ The tears fell in earnest. She tried to hide them in front of the children and avoided answering their questions. _Where is father? Why can’t we see him? When are we going home?_

* * *

In the last two weeks Rin had made the hut more of a home. She found a way to make jewelry from shells she found on the beach. Once a week she sold them in the village, and exchanged the goods for food and other items they needed. Kagome had promised to bring more clothing for them as soon as she could take a break from school. Rin had no idea when she and Inuyasha would return. Even riding Kirara, the journey from Kaede’s village, to her hut by the ocean would take several days. She was making the best of it. She was sure that Sesshomaru had yet to find her. Yuki continued wandering off, Rin was beginning to take it in stride. She would disappear for at most the entire day before coming home tired, hungry and upset. Harutoga let out her secret that she was attempting to return home.

“I don’t want to be here! I want to go home!” Yuki said over and over.

Rin couldn’t answer that.

“What happened between you and Chichiue?” The damn child seemed to be more aware than Rin gave her credit for.

“That’s private,” Rin answered.

“It’s not private if it means I can’t see him,” Yuki fumed and ran off again.

“Why can’t we see him?” Harutoga cried. “I miss Chichiue.” He folded his knees into his chest and sobbed.

Rin shook her head. She wasn’t sure what to say. The one thing she knew she didn’t want to do was make them angry with their father. It was better if the anger was pointed at her.

Rin dusted her feet off and walked back to the hut. She gave up, Taiyomaru wouldn’t stop crying. She would just have to hold him, rock him and hope that he would fall asleep. She was exhausted, hurt and so very confused.

“Taiyomaru isn’t a happy baby is he?” Kohaku asked Rin as she entered. Kohaku was nearly thirty now. His hair longer than before tied high. His hands were rough and calloused from years of slaying demons. His eyes were the same dark brown with lines etching the sides. His freckles had long ago disappeared.

“He’s like Yuki.” Rin took Taiyomaru into her arms. She leaned against the wall of the hut and latched the baby onto her breast. She placed a blanket over her shoulder for modesty.

“No he’s not,” Yuki pouted by the wall.

“Yes he is,” Rin interjected. “When you were a baby, you didn’t sleep well, not unless Chichiue was home…” Rin gulped air, her eyes glazed over with more tears.

“I’m sorry Rin,” Kohaku placed a hand on her shoulder. “You deserve better than this. I never thought he was capable of something like this.”

“Like what!?” Yuki yelled. “Why won’t you tell me what happened? I’m nine not six like Haru, why can’t I know?”

Kohaku pulled Rin and the baby against his chest and sighed, “I wish I could make it easier for you.”

“We’re not children anymore Kohaku,” she pushed him away. “And I’m not ready to love another. We spoke about it remember?”

“Ask yourself, would things be different between us if he had not approached you in that way?” Kohaku still had a warm spot in his heart for Rin.

“I would have been settling for you,” she smiled at him. “You deserved better than that. The first time we kissed, I told myself that I couldn’t expect Sesshomaru to ever love me like that, to want me like that and I had two choices. I could sit and wait for something that may never happen or I could move on to someone who would give me that affection, that person was you and I’m grateful for it. I always will be, but you know my heart was never as devoted to it as yours was. Besides, you need a woman who isn’t already tied down with three children from another man…”

“Chichiue is not a man,” Yuki kicked the dirt again. “You two were in love? Gross!” She stormed out of the hut and went to the ocean’s edge.

“I’m not sure she’ll ever forgive me,” Rin watched her eldest sadly. “She deserves better than this.”

“She needs her father. Even if you are angry with him Rin, you can’t keep him from them. Do you want me to find him?” Kohaku asked.

“Not yet. I’m not ready yet.” She kissed her baby on the cheek. “He looks like his father.”

“He looks like you,.” Kohaku placed a warm hand over Rin’s. “I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t say it. You’re being selfish. I understand your hurt, the pain of mourning something you lost, but you can’t stay away forever. He is their father, and if my wife and I had children before her passing and she took them from me I would be devastated.”

“He loves his children. All he wanted when he was home was to be with them,” Rin admitted. “What if he takes them from me? I couldn’t stop him. He’s too powerful.”

“Maybe you need to give Sesshomaru-sama the benefit of the doubt,” Kohaku placed another blanket over Harutoga’s shivering shoulders. “His ears are so funny. One black and one white. Rin, let me go to him, let me tell him where you are, and that you are safe.”

“Not yet,” she answered in tears. “I’m not ready yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Rin being selfish??
> 
> COMMENT OR KUDO PLEASE!!!! I LOVE IT!


	8. Yuki's Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki runs away to find her father. Sesshomaru searches for his family.

Sesshomaru returned to his home long enough to change his clothes. After almost a month, he had to alternate between maintaining his borders and searching for Rin. He spent the most time with the wolves on the southern border. When night fell, he searched the lands for Rin, for any sign of her scent he could find. He tried to reach out with yoki, in the hopes that there was some part of their bond left that he could access. It wasn’t there. It had all disappeared, he couldn’t feel her. It left a lingering emptiness inside him that he hadn’t felt before. He landed at the southern border hoping that Sota’s _she_ would have heard from him.

“Sayako,” he called to the young demoness who Sota had been courting, “have you heard from Sota?”

Sayako had the same brilliant blue eyes that Koga did. They drifted to the ground, her hands clasped by her waist. “Forgive me, no Sesshomaru-sama.” She pursed her lips, “please, if you hear from him, ask him to come back? I miss him.”

_I miss Rin too._ He wanted to say, but he couldn’t. He walked away to a lone tree and flew into one of the high branches. He sat down on a branch and stretched his legs out and glared at the stars.

Koga came up from behind him. “A few weeks ago one of your sentinels gave us this,” it was one of Yuki’s kimono’s. “What’s going on? Is your daughter missing?”

Sesshomaru stared at the leaves, they were mostly dead. It was warmer in the south than by his home, in another month it would be spring. _Will I have found them by then?_

“You’re not going to tell us?” Koga sat down. “There are rumors.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes lazily tracked to Koga’s. “Rumors?”

“You took a second during a battle. There were left over scents from both of you, and that Rin took your children and left.”

Sesshomaru turned away. “Have you found their scent?”

“No,” Koga answered, “but we will keep looking. Whatever happened, we’re behind you Inu-kuro. It’s not the human way to have more than one. She may never forgive you. I’ll leave you alone.”

* * *

He circled to Kaede’s village often, looking for signs that Inuyasha or their children had returned. Sesshomaru was convinced they were the key to finding Rin and his children. At least Taisho and Sota had to have an idea where they went. He landed, smelling the fox child Shippo that had been friends with Rin, when she was a child. He followed the smell to the hut of the Taijia and Monk. They were laughing around a fire, surrounded by their children. Sesshomaru felt his heart twinge, he wished it would stop doing that, the bond was gone. The pain caused by the loss should have been enough. _I miss my children,_ he thought mournfully, _Yuki, Harutoga, Taiyomaru, where are you?_

He opened the door to their home, blasting their fire with cold air. Sango instinctively reached for her weapon. “I am not here to harm you. Shippo, I will speak with you.”

Shippo shook and wrung his little hands as he rose off the floor and followed Sesshomaru out the door. “Inuyasha didn’t tell me where she was. He told me what you did,” he dared. Shippo wasn’t sure whether to be angry on Rin’s behalf or feel sorry for Sesshomaru. There was one thing he knew though, the fox demons had sworn fealty to Sesshomaru and he knew what the dog demon was about to ask him.

“Find out where she is. Ask to visit her,” Sesshomaru told Shippo. He did not request, he would not, if he had to he would get Hinatamaru-sama to adjure the child yokai that it was the right thing to do.

“Umo…” he ran his fingers down the furs of his vest. “I’m not sure I can…I don’t know.”

“You are loyal to me, all of the Kitsune are,” Sesshomaru reminded him.

“It’s just, why did you do that?” Shippo asked.

“Instinct, you will know it one day,” he answered quietly. “Hurting Rin was not what I wanted. She is human, I am not, this is our way.”

“What are you going to do when you find her?” Shippo bravely persisted.

“She isn’t safe, not alone, not so soon after birthing my son,” Sesshomaru turned to Shippo. Golden eyes remained cold and defensive. “Her life could be in danger, the lives of my children. A human guards her, that isn’t enough. You know the strength of my enemies. I will not harm her. I couldn’t harm her more than I already have.”

“I’ll try, but they are probably going to suspect me now,” Shippo pivoted to return to the hut.

“Do what you can,” he answered and flew back into the air. His heart wanted to give him the false hope that the kitsune would pull through and find Rin. He already had leads before that fell through. He sighed to himself, the emptiness and pain remained. His heart felt wrong without Rin. _Why can’t I let her go?_

* * *

He landed again at his house and strode from the garden into his study. Hisato had not returned since he left. Hideyoshi came and went, the three remaining sentinels guarded the home and the village. Akari and Atsuko continued their jobs cleaning and keeping the house. Jaken continued to field the messages from Sesshomaru’s allies but after so many years, with Rin in his life, even the green toad seemed to feel her absence.

“Remember the ridiculous songs she used to sing when she was a child?” Jaken asked Sesshomaru.

He remained quiet while looking at the map of his territories. He put pins on the areas where he had already searched. He assumed because of winter and snow that wherever they had left her, she stayed. She wouldn’t risk Taiyomaru’s health by travelling with him in the bitter cold. “Is it possible she left my borders?”

Jaken looked up, “that would put her in danger.”

“Leaving the barrier put her in danger,” he reminded Jaken.

“And the other?”

“What of her?”

“Has she been found?”

“Mother is looking,” he shook his head. “Another headache this Sesshomaru doesn’t need.”

“She won’t find me,” Natsuki giggled from the hallway. “And here I thought you didn’t care for me.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes shot up in anger. “You think this is a game don’t you?” He grabbed her by the arm and forced her into the hallway, he shoved her hands against the wall above her head. “You think forcing my children from this home, taking the woman I love, is a small thing?”

“Human, and weak,” she attempted to lick his top lip.

He moved his head out of the way. “I will not lie,” he grabbed her by the chin and pushed her face back, “you do tempt me, but I will not give in to my baser instincts again.”

“Will you?” she brushed her ankle up the inner-side of his leg.

He snarled and kicked her leg out of the way. “Why did you come to me now? Why?”

“To stop her from further ruining your reputation. You are Dai-yokai. You are a King. You belong in a castle, not this pathetic home sheltering the impure.” Natsuki struggled against his grip.

“You are a fool,” he told her.

“Fool or not, you will always crave me. You will not escape me, even if you find your human, I carry your child, a son.”

Sesshomaru released her arms and backed away. “I am aware.”

“What will you do in two months when he comes? What will tell your human then? That it was an accident? That you didn’t mean it? Pathetic.” She attempted to step closer to Sesshomaru and grab his shoulders.

He pushed her backwards. “Sato,” he called, “see this thing from my home. I continue my search for Rin.”

“Thing?” Natsuki’s tone reflected hurt. “You call the one you bonded a thing?”

“I bonded you, I do not love you. You served your purpose, now keep your distance. This is not your home,” Sesshomaru turned towards the garden striding as quickly as he could. Natsuki was already calling to him, enveloping him in the warmth of her yoki, screaming his name in silence for him to return to her.

She followed behind him, swinging her hips in a seductive fashion. “You can’t escape me,” she said, “release my arm.” She bore her fangs at Sato.

Sesshomaru walked through the door of his empty bedroom. _I would rather her here without memory than not here at all._

Sato hissed in pain as Natsuki released the poison from her claws against his skin and stalked into Sesshomaru’s bedroom. She grabbed him by the shoulders and attempted to pin him against the wall. She pulled his mouth down to hers and put his hand on her breast. “I will make you forget her!” She tried to kick his feet out from beneath him.

He snarled in response, he cursed his body for responding with heat and his yoki for entangling itself with hers. _No…this is how I created this mess. I will not do this again!_ He fumed at his body to douse the fire she was starting. He pushed Natsuki backwards as hard as his bond would allow, as forcefully as instinct would bare and pinned her against the wall. “This room is private. Get out,” he spoke between clenched teeth. “Now.”

“No.” She tried to kiss his lips. “You are mine now.”

He twisted her arm behind her back and gently pushed her face forward, until it was pressed against the smooth marble,.“I will never be yours, as you will always be mine. You will know in time the consequences of your choice to approach me now. I will deny you the warmth of skin, the heat of my flesh.” He forcefully shook her. “You will bare my child and when he is weaned, I will claim him from you and if you are lucky, you may get to see him.” He allowed his hand to run up her waist and cup her small breast in his hand. “You will not see my face again until I have need for you, Natsuki.” He turned her around and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. She let her tongue run up his index finger. “Know this, that when that need arises, it will be for pleasure. It will not be for love.” He shoved her against the wall. “You mean nothing to me.”

He forced her out the door and slammed it. He held it shut with his hand, breathing heavily. His back was on fire with need, his stomach was like boiling honey. _Dammit,_ the urge to go out there and finish what he started was eating away at him. He fled into the garden and the cold night air and transformed quickly into his true form, flying into the air. The great dog inhaled as much of the night air as he could. _Where are you? Yuki, help me find you. I know you’re out there my little one. I know you aren’t happy away from your Chichiue, help me find you._

* * *

Yuki watched Kohaku from the trees. She knew he was on to her. She had managed to slip out of the house in the middle of the night while everyone slept. She took the coat she was wearing, her winter boots to keep her feet warm and fled. The air smelled like salt and made her nose itch. She touched Harutoga’s shoulder with her tiny claws. “I can’t take you with me, I’m sorry.” She glanced at her mother who was curled around a sleeping Taiyomaru. “Baka.” She fled from the hut. She ran as fast as she could flying from tree limb to tree limb to avoid the damn Taijia from tracking her. It didn’t help, by the end of the second day he was on her tail. She was careful not to make any fires, to only hunt what she could eat, and not leave behind any carcasses. She slept in the highest branches that would hold her weight during the day, and moved at night when her vision was sharper than the average human.

She watched as Kohaku searched the trees. She tried to focus her yoki inward. She was going to have to wait it out this time. He was circling the ground, checking for tracks again, then his eyes were looking into the trees. Yuki silently jumped up to a higher branch that would put her behind the shining sun. If he tried to find her, the sun would block his vision. She said a quiet prayer that Kohaku would fail to find her. If he did, she would have to break a promise she made to her father.

_No matter how angry you are Yuki, you can’t kill humans._

She was sure she could take him, one swift hit to the neck, a drop of her poison and he would be down. She climbed into the higher branches and hid behind a crop of leaves. _Please don’t find me, please don’t find me._ She stilled her breathing. He was right underneath her perch, at the base of the tree. _If Chichiue was here he would tell me my heart was pounding loud enough for everyone to hear._ She crouched down, _don’t find me, don’t find me._

He shook his head and walked away. She let out a more than tense breath. She had her work cut out for her. Yuki didn’t know how far from home they were, but she refused to come back until she found her father, until she knew what happened between her parents. _Take care my little brothers, I’ll come back for you. With Chichiue._

* * *

Higan hiked towards the hut by the sea. He held a score of fish in his hands. He carried them in a bucket as he walked in warm boots and a straw hat. His hair was down, blowing black tresses in the wind. Rin saw him approaching. She raised her hand to her eyes to block out the bright winter sun. “Higan-dono!” She waved to him. She had not seen him since the day he brought Yuki back. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Where is your friend that was here before?” he asked Rin.

“He’s looking for Yuki. She’s been gone for two days.” Rin’s body was still recovering. She was still tired and felt weak. She pushed Kohaku to spar with her, but it always ended in her left shoulder being sore, and her body rebelling against the stress she was putting it under. She was desperate to get back into shape.

“I brought you fish. I would like to make them for you. A woman five weeks post-partum shouldn’t have to eat alone.”

“I hate fish,” Haru said from behind Higan. He had been playing on the beach collecting shells in a bucket for his mother to sell.

“Ah, little one. I brought this for you,” he handed Harutoga some dried meat. “I know those fangs crave something more sumptuous than fish.”

“You are too kind Higan-dono,” Rin bowed her head. “We thank you. Please come in. I have some fresh rice cooking, the fish will go nicely with it.” She opened the flap of their hut. She felt a warmth stirring in her heart, when was the last time someone had cooked for her?

He took his shoes off by the front entrance, he wore white tabi underneath. His clothes were plane blues and greens. He brought his own skewers and made himself at home inside the hut, pushing the skewers through the fish he captured, so they poked out the mouths and out the tails. He put them next to the fire to cook. Rin bowed politely and smiled at him. “Your daughter isn’t happy here?”

“No,” Rin sighed looking at the clouds. “It’s going to rain soon.”

“That it is.” He joined her by the door. “Will she be okay in the rain? Would you like help finding her?”

“No.” Rin turned back towards the hut. Taiyomaru was beginning to cry again. “Will you ever settle little one?” She picked the baby up and tied him to her front. “If Kohaku can’t find her,” she stopped herself from saying it. When she did this at home only Sesshomaru could find her. “Well, I’m sure he will, and Harutoga can help. You have a good nose, don’t you my Haru?”

“Should I go help?” Harutoga stood up with a big piece of salted meat.

“Go on. See if you can find Kohaku and then help him find Yuki.” Rin ruffled his hair. It was growing past his shoulders. She gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head.

“Have you been to the village?” Higan asked Rin.

“A few times.” She picked up some the shelled jewelry she had been selling. “I sell these.”

“They’re beautiful Rin-dono. I did not know these hands were so skilled.” He ran his middle finger over the top of her hand.

Rin’s hair stood on edge. It made goosebumps form down her neck to be touched like that by someone that wasn’t Sesshomaru. She couldn’t deny it. It felt good. _If he can have someone else, so can I._ “Thank you,” she smiled and tried to remember what a good Japanese woman was supposed to sound like. It was nearly impossible considering who she was raised by. _How many girls are raised by an Inu-yokai, his imp servant, his hanyou brother, two mikos, a monk, a kitsune and a handful of slayers? Oh Jaken,_ Rin’s heart hurt, _I wonder how Jaken is?_

“Has their father been by?” Higan wondered.

“A few times, he enjoys seeing his children.” Rin was not yet ready to admit that they were no longer together, or that she was hiding from him. There were too many risks still. “I honestly thought after that first visit you would have come sooner.”

“The waters were ripe for fishing. I spend most of my time in my boat in the ocean.” Higan sat down next to the fire. He pinched the fish with thumb and index finger.

“You’re a fisherman?” Rin was intrigued. W _e never spent much time by the ocean._

“By trade yes, would you like to come on my boat sometime? Bring the children? We could make a day trip out of it?” There was excitement in his voice.

“I would like that,” Rin grinned as she took one of the fish skewers, they were delicious and exactly what she needed. _Dammit Yuki_ , she thought quietly as she chewed, _where the hell did you go?_


	9. Finding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki is finally found and she is not the only one.
> 
> If you're not subscribed for updates you can find them posted on tumblr and twitter.

**One Month Later…**

A week after Harutoga went to help Kohaku find Yuki, they returned empty handed. Harutoga was exhausted, sleeping in Kohaku’s arms. “I’m sorry, he tried,” Kohaku told Rin. “I need to get Inuyasha, if he’s back. Maybe Shippo or Kirara, they will be able to do a better job.” Kohaku immediately left towards the door. “Will you be okay here? Alone?”

Rin was pacing the hut. It was raining outside. She picked up Harutoga and set him down next to the fire. His lips had a slight blue ring around them, “you should have brought him back when it started raining,” she fumed at Kohaku, “he’s frozen.”

“I’m sorry. He didn’t want to give up,” Kohaku bowed to Rin. “I’m going back to Kaede-sama’s village. I’ll bring help as soon as I can. Do you want me to go to your old home? To find Sesshomaru-sama?”

“No,” Rin shook her head. “I can’t…I’m not ready to deal with him.” She towel dried Harutoga’s hair with a clean blanket.

“He would be able to find her. You know his nose is more sensitive than Inuyasha’s,” Kohaku said quietly, hands in his pockets.

“No,” Rin repeated herself. “When the rains stop, I’ll go and look myself.” She leaned over Harutoga peeling off his soaked clothing. She wrapped him in her own furs and stroked his hair. “Thank you Kohaku, for everything.” She didn’t look back at him. She wanted him to leave, she needed time alone.

“Will you be okay alone?” Kohaku repeated himself.

“Yes,” Rin opened a box that was mounted on a wooden shelf by the farthest wall. She took out her emerald hair comb. “Take this, buy a horse. It will take too long on foot.” She handed it to Kohaku.

“He wouldn’t want you to sell this.” He took the comb.

“It’s fine,” Rin said quietly, “please just go.”

Kohaku left and she exhaled tensely, kneeling by her katana that was propped against the wall. Her hand ran down the sheathe. He had wanted to replace it with something made from Bukoseno, but the old tree insisted that his limbs were only for yokai. They wouldn’t provide protection for a human. “Would you know if I was desperate?” She caressed the golden dog hilt, tracing the ruby eyes, letting her finger rest against the paws as if they were grasping them. “She went to look for you.”

“That’s a fine sword,” Higan’s voice carried a tender baritone. It was deeper than Sesshomaru’s and something Rin was coming to look forward too. His visits were becoming more frequent, they spent days talking to each other, nights walking along the beach.

His boat was anchored miles up the seashore from Rin’s home, past the bay where the river emptied itself. His wife died years before along with his children when brigands attacked their village. He was tall, not quite as tall as Sesshomaru, with black hair and eyes that at times looked blue, and other times brown. Rin was relieved, he was entertained by the children, rather than appalled by them.

She picked the sword up in one handed, holding Taiyomaru in the other hand. “It’s from their father,” she said quietly. She still couldn’t talk about Sesshomaru without a tear coming to her eyes.

“A kingly gift, may I see it?” Higan asked. She passed the sword to him. “How was it made?”

“A baby fang. His mother thinks highly of him. Pure-blooded dog demons grow and lose fangs often as infants and children. She saved them. He sent the sword to me when I was twelve, to protect myself.”

“And the rubies?” His thumb ran over the dog’s eyes.

“From his father’s grave,” Rin’s tone was absent as she spoke. If she focused too much on it, the pain would creep back into her heart, strangling her awareness until tears fled from her eyes.

Higan handed the sword back to Rin. She grasped the hilt, _can you hear me? Find her._ For a moment she thought she felt the golden dog shaped hilt tighten around her hand.

“He must love you very much,” Higan said. “Has he returned again?”

Rin couldn’t hold back her tears, “not yet,” she answered softly. “I’m sure he will.”

Higan closed the distance between he and Rin and cupped her chin. “One as beautiful as you deserves better than that,” Higan said with conviction. His hands were rough and dry from the salty ocean water, not smooth like Sesshomaru’s. His nails were blunted, she didn’t feel the tickle of claws in the underside of her neck. They were warm, his breath carried a different scent. Sesshomaru was warm, almost tasteless, Higan’s carried the smell the ocean.

A rustle in the leaves caught Rin’s attention. The ground shook with approaching footsteps. If she hadn’t been staring stupidly into Higan’s eyes she would have noticed them coming sooner. “Dammit, ogres. They finally found me.” It would be the first of many attacks. “You should leave. They’re coming for me and my sons.” Rin grabbed a long sash and used it to tie Taiyomaru to her back.

“I won’t abandon you Rin-dono.” Higan drew his own knife. He had a light layer of hair across his chest. His muscles flexed anxiously.

Rin walked out of her hut towards the oncoming ogres. There were three this time. She blew a tense breath out of her lungs, while gripping the hilt of the sword, _maybe I should have stayed in his lands. I can do this._ “That knife won’t do anything,” she said to Touma as she stalked towards her prey. Her hair blew in the ocean breeze. It whipped in the high winds. “You’ll regret coming here,” she flipped the katana in her hand to get a better grip on it.

“Mate of the Dog Lord! We will eat you and that child for lunch,” a red one laughed at her.

“Then I would suggest you bring more than three next time.” She charged them. She slid between their legs and released the her whip against the ankle of a blue one. It came crashing to the ground. She ran and leapt over the neck flicking the end of her sword over it and spilling its blood. She rushed the green one and jumped onto a large boulder and flung herself into the air. She held her sword point outward and slammed into the back of its neck. She rode the sword down slicing from the nape down to the middle of the back before pulling the sword out and landing on her feet. “You honestly thought I would be easy prey didn’t you?” She went after the next one. “You’ll be of no consequence, in moments.” The last ogre was dispatched with a meters long whip extending from the tip of the sword, wrapping around its neck and ripping it off. The heavy body landed with a giant thud that nearly knocked her over.

“Amazing,” Higan chuckled, “I see you aren’t a woman to be trifled with.”

“No, I’m not,” Rin felt her blood boiling, her heart pounding. She felt a sense of pride in herself, and her abilities. _I’ve missed this._ She smiled. _Too much time hiding behind a barrier, allowing others to protect me._

* * *

Throughout the month, Higan visited often. He tried to assuage Rin’s worries about Yuki. Rin went into the forest as far as she dared, even she found no sign of Yuki. She found no melted leaves, no mulching piles of sticks. There were no carcasses, and nothing Haru could smell. Rin’s stomach did flip-flops from worry.

One day she walked miles and miles until she felt her feet bleed and still found nothing. She and Harutoga returned home, hungry with blistered bleeding toes. It took several days for the inflammation to go down. When night fell she held the sword in her lap, _I can’t find her, please, Sesshomaru if you can hear me, find Yuki._

Three weeks in, Higan took Rin on the boat ride he promised. Harutoga and Taiyomaru both giggled with the swaying of the boat. Higan taught Harutoga how to fish an Rin watched in awe as someone else was able to elicit the sweet smiles she loved seeing on her son. She was happy to finally see her child adjusting to their new home. He still denied it was his, and at night he asked for his father. Rin still wasn’t ready to face Sesshomaru. She would have been happy to never see him again, but she knew it wasn’t likely, eventually he would find them. Nearly two months passed since the day the demoness destroyed her family. Rin sat back on the boat, _I can’t keep thinking about him. Yuki…where are you?_ She didn’t know how long it would take Kohaku to travel to the border of Sesshomaru’s lands and then to Kaede’s village, and then back. If it took days on Hatchi’s back, it would take weeks by foot. She didn’t expect him to return for at least another month.

* * *

Natsuki sat quietly in Sesshomaru’s home. She came and went as she pleased, avoiding Gobodo-sama by refusing to stay in one location for long. She was beginning to feel fatigued, her stomach properly protruded from her kimonos in a honey dew type bump. She sensed the power of the child growing inside of her. If it was the only thing she did, she would make Sesshomaru forget about his human and his tainted children. She leaned back in the chair in his study.

Jaken sat against the wall with a burnt arm and bumps on his head. “Wretched girl, just because you carry his child,” he grumbled pulling himself off the ground.

“When is he returning toad?” she snarled at him.

“As if I would tell you. He is looking for his family,” Jaken grumbled. He dusted himself off and rubbed his head.

“Again? Why doesn’t he just give up? They don’t want to be found,” Natsuki was genuinely curious and confused. Why couldn’t he accept that Rin had left him? She tapped her claws annoyed on the desk. “What is his connection to this human toad? His bond is shattered, why does he care?” 

“You know nothing about Sesshomaru-sama.” He picked up his staff. “And as long as you continue with this repulsive attitude of yours, mother of his child or not you will never know. Rin has been a part of our family since she was eight years old. He protected and cared for her long before they were ever bonded to each other. You will never be her. You will never be able to give him what she has.”

“I am giving him more than she can,” she touched her stomach.

“You are giving him a child, she gave him a family.” Jaken scuttled out of the room.

Natsuki’s eyes flamed red in annoyance… _then I will just have to find her first, and end this._ She stood up, glided across the floor and left the house.

“Jaken, come quickly,” Atsuko came running into the study. “Come quickly,” she repeated herself. She grabbed Jaken by the hand and practically dragged him through the house, down the corridor, and out the front the door.

“Unhand me!” Jaken screamed at her. His mouth fell open once he got out the door. Standing in between Sato and another brown haired sentinel was Kohaku. The little boy Jaken knew was gone, replaced by a man with long hair tied into a high pony tail, slighter brown eyes and hands that had seen much battle. “Kohaku!” Jaken waved Nintojo at him, “where is she? Do you know how worried Sesshomaru-sama is?”

“I can’t tell you,” Kohaku answered quickly, he knew Rin would be angry at him for this. It had taken him nearly a month on horse-back to get there and even then he had only heard about this house via rumors among other slayers. He was lucky he was able to find it at all. “I came with a message. Yuki is missing, she has been for a month.”

“Rin lost Yuki?” Jaken screamed, “get in the house right now, you will have to explain yourself to Sesshomaru-sama when he comes back!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Kohaku bowed. He attempted turning only to be grabbed by the arm by Sato. He felt the aura coming off the one who held him. Then his other arm was ensnared by the brown haired one. There was no way he could get past them.

Jaken folded his arms. “I would not fight with them. You won’t find them easy prey.” He motioned them to bring Kohaku inside.

Kohaku shook his head and adjusted his large sickle over his back, “ok…I guess it’s no use fighting. He isn’t home?”

“No, he’s looking for his family,” Jaken answered. “Is she okay?”

“Physically yes,” Kohaku followed Jaken.

“Sit, you must be tired,” Atsuko motioned to the chairs. “Jaken may I serve our guest a meal? Something to drink?” She pulled out a high backed chair for Kohaku to sit in.

“Yes Akari, no need to be so formal, Kohaku is another of our wayward children that Sesshomaru-sama and I cared for,” Jaken climbed into a chair, “speak…where is she?”

“She isn’t ready to see him,” Kohaku said adamantly, “do you have tea?”

“Yes,” Atsuko bowed and rushed to the kitchen.

“She is hiding his children. This is not like her,” Jaken said quietly.

“She is hurt, deeply,” Kohaku said tapping his fingers on the table. “This house is amazing. I should have visited earlier. It’s still hard for me, knowing she chose him over me. I should return to her,” he said.

“I will have you followed. Remain here until he returns,” Jaken warned him.

Atsuko returned with a large tray of rice, vegetables and fried boar. “Enjoy, please,” she bowed again and left.

“Kohaku, where is she?” Jaken demanded.

* * *

Sesshomaru flew through the air towards the southern border. Something had tickled his senses earlier, a sensation he hadn’t felt in years. A sense of worry that wasn’t his own, a calling. It was gone as soon as it came. He could almost make out words behind the feeling. It came from the direction of the southern border. The wolves were already there holding the line. He had yet to find another ally to replace the strength they gave him. Their forces were split between the north and the south. The north recently conceded defeat and agreed to his territorial lines, but the south, the ogres were stubborn. _Did you take them out of my lands? Rin, baka._ A smell hit his senses, his eyes widened, _Yuki…_

* * *

Yuki woke up with a start from the tree she was sleeping in. She hadn’t been home in a month. She remembered lessons Hisato and her father taught her about hunting, about masking her scent and hiding her yoki. She did both, remembering that before she had been attacked by ogres. She kept to the trees, high in the air to avoid leaving her tracks on the ground. Two weeks later she knew she was headed in the right direction. They flew there on Hatchi’s back in a matter of days, but going back by foot was taking longer than she imagined. Yuki remembered her lessons in her father’s study about how to tell one direction from the other. The sunrises in the east and sets in the west, which meant she had to keep it at her left as she traveled during the day and at her right at night. She followed the river until it turned eastward then moaned. Yuki hadn’t bothered bringing a waterskin with her. She had hoped that she would find a lake or a pond along the way.

After a few days of travelling, she could no longer find water. Her lips were parched, her legs refused to carry her as far. She tried to find water in the ground with bamboo shoots but that also didn’t work. Then two days in, it was the damned new moon, and her yoki went latent making her body that much more vulnerable to the cold. It was still winter and her hands and feet were chilled. She wanted it to snow so badly, so she could melt the flakes and drink them. Her toes were practically frozen. Sleep was coming easier and moving harder. She felt stupid for running off so far, but she craved answers, she didn’t understand what had happened to her parents.

She stopped in the high boughs of a tree the night before to try to warm herself up. Her lips trembled and her teeth chattered from the cold. She curled into herself and her world blackened soon after she set her head down. She felt weak and afraid.

The voices beneath her made her jolt so hard she almost fell out of the tree she was in. Yuki tried to open her eyes, even they weren’t listening to her. The voice sounded familiar, she thought she was dreaming. All she could see was the sun shining, blinding her with its golden rays. She tried to block it, groaning in pain, her muscles felt frozen.

“Oi! Inu-kuro!” the voice called. It was getting closer to her. “Inu-kuro! I found her, over here, she’s in a tree!” It landed next to her and touched her shoulder, “she’s frozen!”

That’s when Yuki heard it, the voice she knew and loved, “Yuki?!”

Yuki tried to force her eyes open. “Chichiue?” she asked weakly.

Sesshomaru flew into the air and landed in the branch she was half passed out in. The bark was frozen and hard with Yuki nearly frozen to it. “Chichiue has you,” he picked her up in his arms and folded his mokomoko over her. He felt his heart pounding in fear, her skin was cold to the touch, her body flopped weakly in his arms. The tips of her fingers were blue, she trembled against him. “I have you, where did you come from? Where is Ka-san?”

“I’m…c…c…c….cold,” her teeth chattered.

“I’m here,” he said again. He landed on the forest floor with Yuki against him. “Yuki,” he shook her lightly. “Where did you come from? Where are your brothers?”

Yuki’s eyes were closed again, her lips blue. The lids of her eyes held a cerulean sheen. “You need to warm her, quickly,” Koga told him. “Take her back to your home, I’m not sure there is a closer hot springs. How is she so close to the border?”

“Rin must have taken them out of my lands, to the other side, ogre lands,” he growled in frustration, _if her actions have harmed my children._ In the beginning he missed Rin, as time passed and she did not return to him, yearning turned to anger. He knew she was hurt, he could accept that. He could not accept that she would deny him access to his children.

“Should we enter?” Koga asked him.

“No. I don’t need an unnecessary battle, not until Yuki can tell me where she came from. Hold the line. I will return when she regains consciousness.” Sesshomaru flew into the air racing back to his home. While he flew he kissed the top of Yuki’s head and nuzzled her pointy ears, breathing in her sweet wintery smell. “I missed you,” he held her closer. He wrapped her tightly in his mokomoko and flew so quickly he nearly made himself sick.

He landed armor and all inside the hot springs in the garden nearly an hour later. He opened his mokomoko to reveal her small frame and removed Yuki’s wet coat throwing it in the snow. He took her shoes and tabi off, so the water could warm her limbs. Her color slowly began to change from pale white, purple and blue to its natural color. “Yuki.” He stroked her hair and kissed her brow, breathing a sigh of relief. “At least I have one of you back.” Sesshomaru held his daughter in the hot springs for some time before he felt her moving.

“Chichiue,” Yuki’s eyes slowly opened, she touched his face with her tiny clawed hand. “Is it really you?”

“It’s me,” he pulled her out of the hot springs and brought her into his bedroom. The room was freezing. He hadn’t had the need for the fires to be lit since Rin left. He kicked open his door and yelled into the hallway, “Akari!”

Akari came running from the kitchens dressed in warmer clothes. Her red eyes flared when she saw what he was holding. “Is she okay?”

“A fire now, in both rooms. Bring her dry clothing, food and water.” Yuki continued to shiver against Sesshomaru. He set her down in his bed and stripped off his own soaking clothing. He changed into a long grey kimono and black hikama. Akari leaned over Yuki pulling her wet clothes off and throwing them into the hallway. “Kami, Sesshomaru-sama she’s emaciated.” Akari ran her hands over Yuki’s thinned stomach.

Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulders. His lips tightened. Yuki’s ribs stuck out at least an inch from her stomach, he could count them from a distance, her normally muscular stomach was concave.

Jaken came running in with Nintojo. “Yuki-chan? Where did you find her Sesshomaru-sama?”

“Bring me the map now,” Sesshomaru told him. As soon as Akari finished changing Yuki, Sesshomaru picked her up again. “Yuki,” he closed his eyes and pulled the covers over her. It was the most relief his heart had felt since Rin had left two months before. Sesshomaru snatched Jaken by his robes. “Why do I smell Kohaku?”

Jaken’s feet kicked in the air. “He came here this morning, saying that Yuki was missing. He didn’t say much else. I put him up in one of the guest bedrooms, guarded by a sentry.”

“He knows where she is,” Sesshomaru barked at Jaken. “Bring him here now, with the map.”

Akari blasted the fire places with flaming balls from her hands. Jaken returned with the map in hand and Kohaku behind him. Kohaku was breathing heavily. Sesshomaru could hear his heart racing. Kohaku was still terrified of him and dropped to his knees. He bowed his head to Sesshomaru. “Forgive me, Sesshomaru-sama, for keeping her from you.”

If he wasn’t holding Yuki he would have strangled Kohaku. “Where is she?” he demanded.

“I can’t tell you. I already betrayed her trust by coming here.” Kohaku kept his head low, hoping that humility would keep him from being beheaded. He finally saw what was in Sesshomaru’s lap. “Yuki-chan!” he exclaimed. “You found her.”

Yuki’s head gazed back at Kohaku. “Bastard,” she hissed at him. “How did you get here?”

Sesshomaru swallowed a laugh in his throat. “I will find her with or without you. Your presence wherever she is, is no longer necessary. If I find you with her, I will kill you.”

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama,” Kohaku acknowledged him humbly.

“Leave,” Sesshomaru commanded him.

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama,” he got up and left. 

Jaken rolled the map out for Sesshomaru to look at. Akari ran out of the room to bring Yuki food and water. “We found her here,” he pointed at an area that was less than a mile from the southern border. “We had just finished a battle four miles away,” he pointed to another area that ran parallel with the border. _What did I sense, the bond is broken. Was that Rin’s worry?_

“You found me,” Yuki hugged her father tightly.

“Yes,” he whispered to her. “Chichiue found you,” he wrapped her tighter in the blanket on the bed. “What did you do Yuki?”

“I ran away,” Yuki’s face flushed red. “I don’t understand what happened, Chichiue. Why can’t we come home? Why did Ka-san leave you? Why is she so sad?”

Akari returned with food and water. She had warmed goat meat for Yuki and hot tea. “Can I warm the blankets for her Sesshomaru-sama?”

He nodded.

Akari bent over Yuki’s body that was curled against her father. Her hands glowed orange around the edges as they hovered over Yuki. “Tell me when it gets too hot Yuki-chan.” 

“You ran away?” Sesshomaru wanted to congratulate her. “Where is Ka-san and your brothers?”

“Further south,” Yuki replied. “I ran away a month ago. Kohaku-san tried to find me, but I kept my tracks hidden and my yoki masked so he couldn’t, just like you taught me. She’s in a hut by the ocean, a few miles from a human village,” Yuki answered sleepily. She lifted herself up so she could eat and drink. “Taiyo is sad all the time. He cries all night and all day, Haru misses you too. Can I eat now?”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru let out a relieved laugh, “eat. When you’re done you will rest.”

“What happened Chichiue?” Yuki asked in between bites of her warmed goats meat. “No one will tell me what happened?”

Sesshomaru looked into Yuki’s eyes. “I made a mistake that hurt Ka-san.”

“But everybody makes mistakes.” Yuki picked up her rice. “Can’t you just say you’re sorry?”

“It’s not that simple.” He stroked her hair. He didn’t realize how much he had missed his daughter. She was just coming to the age where they could talk and it no longer felt as if he was always speaking to a child.

“What is a bond?” Yuki cleared all of her goat, the rice and the vegetables. “Can I have more?”

“When did you eat last?”

“I don’t know. I followed a river but then it turned towards the east and I had to leave it. I couldn’t find anything to drink and I was too tired to hunt, can I have more?” she asked again.

“Jaken, bring her more,” he knew he was going to have to answer Yuki’s questions. “What did Ka-san tell you?”

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama. Yuki this Jaken is so happy to see you,” he gave Yuki a quick squeeze and ran out of the room with her black bowl.

“I only heard her and Kohaku-san talking. You bonded someone else and it made her sad, but I don’t know what that means.”

Sesshomaru shook his head, “you know I…” he stopped himself, _do I still love her?_ In that moment he was furious that her actions had put Yuki in danger, and what of their other children? “Loved your mother. That love told my instincts that Ka-san was meant for this Sesshomaru, but it can be that there is more than one. I was approached by another. My instinct wouldn’t allow me to resist her, had your mother been yokai like me, it may not have hurt her. Humans do not often have more than one.”

Yuki’s shoulders shook, she wiped her eyes. “So that’s it? You aren’t together anymore? What happens to me and Haru and Taiyo? I don’t want to go back to that hut, please? I want to stay here with you.”

Sesshomaru pulled Yuki into another hug. “You will stay with me, if that is your wish. With me, you will stay. Yuki look at the map, which river did you follow?”

“I don’t really know how to look at a map,” she answered.

“When did you leave the river?” He tried to stop his teeth from grinding. Holding Yuki as he did, he could feel her ribs popping out of her sides. Her face was gaunt, and her eyes had large black circles.

“Maybe three or four days ago?” She nuzzled his mokomoko affectionately.

Jaken came back in with more food for Yuki. She ate until her stomach puffed out and her breath was warm from food and her mouth had a greasy ring around it. She rubbed her tired eyes and laid down on the pillows. Jaken and Sesshomaru leaned over the map, “there, this river,” Jaken pointed to it, “it turns east thirty miles from where you found Yuki.”

Sesshomaru covered his mouth and rubbed his eyes in frustration. He glanced back at his daughter who was snoring in his bed. Yuki was curled onto her side with her hands clasped beneath her cheek. “She ran close to one hundred miles to find this Sesshomaru. If I follow the river south, it empties into a bay. Rin will be somewhere along that beach, with my sons.” He stood up.

“Um…Sesshomaru-sama, perhaps you shouldn’t leave Yuki here unattended. We have had a rather unpleasant guest…”

“I can smell, Natsuki was here again?”

“Yes,” Jaken answered quietly.

_I have one more month,_ he groaned inwardly. “Yuki may not be safe here,” a slow smile spread across his features, “although Yuki might be just what Natsuki needs. Not even this Sesshomaru or her mother can control her.”

“She’s like you,” Gobodo-sama appeared in the doorway. “Too late again, she keeps moving like this she is going to bring that child into the world too soon. Foolish girl. Yuki,” Gobodo-sama knelt down and stroked her grand-daughter’s hair, “you go to find the rest?”

“Yes, mother care for her in my absence. Jaken, prepare their rooms, I’m bringing them back.”

“If Rin refuses?” Jaken cringed and attempted to hide against the wall as both Gobodo-sama and Sesshomaru’s eyes flashed red. _They won’t give her the chance to._ He ran into the children’s rooms to warm their fires.


	10. Come Home to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru finally finds Rin. What happens next is up to them.

It was late into the night and Rin couldn’t sleep. Taiyomaru was screaming again, inconsolable. She groaned and walked with him towards the waves. Sometimes the sound of the ocean calmed the baby. Her fingers twitched against the fur blankets covering her little son. His cheeks were rosier these days, his gums red and his eyes angry. Rin let the water wash coolly over her bare ankles. She would regret allowing the cold water to lap against her feet but she didn’t care. She hoped the whooshing of the waves would help Taiyomaru sleep. _I should have known she wouldn’t stay here. Yuki, where did you go? It’s been a month._ She tried not to break into tears again.

Taiyomaru’s cries gradually subsided at the exact moment Rin felt a rush of powerful yoki behind her. She turned around to face Sesshomaru. The expression on his face was that of anger, frustration and deep hurt. She had never seen his face show so much emotion before, “give me my son,” he spoke through clenched teeth.

Rin pursed her lips as Sesshomaru stalked towards her. He didn’t wait for Rin to pass him the child, he plucked the infant up out of her arms. He rest his crescent moon against the baby’s. She could see him visibly relax as he inhaled the scent of his child. “Taiyomaru.” He nuzzled his son’s nose. “Chichiue missed you.” He turned from Rin to the hut that was nestled into the side of a rock face, hiking in fury through the sand.

“What are you doing?” Rin chased after him.

“Taking my children home,” Sesshomaru snarled. “How dare you take them from me and bring them here, of all places! Do you know how foolish this was? I can smell fifty ogre circling this area, and you brought my children here!” He angrily pointed to the forest.

“I won’t let you take them from me,” Rin ran in front of him.

“Can you stop this Sesshomaru? Do you have more of that powder hiding to slam in my face?” He gave Rin a soft push out of the way.

“No.” Rin chased after him. “Sesshomaru, stop!” She tried grabbing his arm.

He brushed her off. He nearly ran when he caught sight of Harutoga sleeping near the fire.

“Sesshomaru!” Rin screamed at him.

He dropped to his knees by a sleeping Harutoga. He let the boy’s forest smell waft into his nose. The child always smelled like fresh soil that was newly tilled, like the crisp leaves of fall and gentle rains. Something loosened in his chest, a tenseness that had been eating away at him for the last month.

“You can’t take them,” Rin grabbed his arm.

“Why not Rin?” The anger was bubbling, the hurt. “You did.”

“Sesshomaru can we talk? Please? Yuki is missing, I haven’t been able to find-”

“Yuki is safe at home,” he stopped. “Do you know where I found her? A hundred miles from here. Freezing in a tree, emaciated, close to death, and you ask me to leave my children here with you? The Rin I was in love with would not do something so selfish or so foolish.”

“You found her?” Rin’s stomach eased. She feared she would find her daughter’s body dead in a tree somewhere.

“Yes, she is at home with my mother. She has no desire to return here.” He stroked Harutoga’s head. “Two months Rin,” he tried to force his tone steady, “for two months, you hid my children from me. You said nothing. Sent no word. No message, nothing? I thought better of you.”

Rin bit her bottom lip. “I won’t let you take them,” she repeated herself. She edged towards her sword.

“You know that won’t work on this Sesshomaru,” he closed his eyes as he let his nose run over Harutoga’s head. His anger was abating, his children were safe, at least his sons fared better than his daughter.

“Then I’ll use my hands,” Rin said.

“Futile,” he bit back at her. “Is it a fight you want? Is that what I should have done? Fought with you?”

“It wouldn’t have helped. I told myself long ago I wouldn’t fight for you,” Rin picked the sword up. “Now, give me back by son.”

“Put the sword down,” Sesshomaru set down Taiyomaru. “Do you really want him to wake up to me tearing you to pieces.”

“You won’t take them,” she cracked the whip.

He rolled his eyes and glared at the sword, it clattered out of Rin’s hand. “This Sesshomaru isn’t worth fighting for?”

“No,” she regretted saying it so quickly. “You should have fought for me.”

“I have always fought for you! I died in the snow for you! I went into hell for you! I walked into Naraku’s body for you!”

“And you couldn’t stop yourself from bedding and bonding someone else!” Rin yelled at him.

“It was instinct Rin. I explained this to you when I bonded you. There is no stopping, no resisting. Do you think this is what I wanted?” He tried to keep his pitch lower to avoid waking Harutoga. “Do you remember how hard it was for me to hold back, to wait until you were sure this was what you wanted?”

Rin stared at the floor boards. “I remember.”

“It hurt Rin.” He spit on the ground, embarrassed that he had said it. “Making love to you and not bonding you. It hurt,” he closed his eyes. “You can’t understand.” He scoffed, “you are not inu-yokai.”

“Yeah, well now you have one, enjoy your life together. You’re not even trying to defend yourself.” She slapped a tear off her face.

“What is there to defend?” he asked her. “I know what I did.” 

She glared at him shaking her head as she sat down next to the fire. She winced on her way down, regretting using her left arm to lower herself.

“The shoulder again?” Sesshomaru shook his head and sat down next to Harutoga who continued to sleep. He lifted Taiyomaru back into his arms. “Do you know how I worried about them? About you?” He touched the skin over his heart. The clean scar-less flesh. “How I yearned for you? Our home is so quiet, the rooms are dark, the hallways silent. Come home Rin.”

“I can’t.” She felt her eyes burning for the millionth time. “I can’t.”

“It meant nothing,” he persisted, “what happened with Natsuki, it meant nothing.”

“How can you do that and have it mean nothing?”

“It never bothered you before.” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“We weren’t a family before,” she countered. “And you didn’t just sleep with Natsuki, if that is what her name was. You bonded her Sesshomaru. You created the same intimate connection you did with me. How can it be nothing?”

“Because it is.” He tried to move closer to her. “My heart still calls for you.”

“No.” Rin scooted away from him. “I shouldn’t have taken them, but I know you. You wouldn’t have given me space to think. You would have forced me to stay there and what of her? You have her now.”

“I don’t love her,” he said quietly. “I love you.”

“You don’t do things like this to people you love.”

“You do if you are yokai.”

“I’m human Sesshomaru!” she screamed at him so loud it woke Harutoga up out of his sleep.

“I’m not,” he pulled Harutoga into his lap.

The little boy rubbed sleep out of his eyes, “Chichiue??” He clasped his father around his neck. “You found us!” he cried. Sesshomaru sat holding Harutoga in one arm and Taiyomaru in the other.

“Don’t take them Sesshomaru, please?” she plead with him.

“Come back to my territory,” he told her, as he kissed Harutoga’s cheek, “in my lands.”

“There’s no ocean in your lands,” Rin rolled her eyes.

“You can’t stay here, it’s not safe,” Sesshomaru warned her.

“I’ve been here for two months…”

“And lost our daughter in the process. I’ll send Hisato and Hideyoshi.”

“I don’t need guards,” Rin folded her arms.

“My children do,” Sesshomaru replied. He let out a frustrated growl. “I am taking Harutoga home. I will return with he and Yuki in a few days’ time. If I can convince her. You explained nothing to her. Taiyomaru will stay with you…for now, you will not hide them from me again. There is no bond to stop me from killing you,” his voice lowered in rage, his eyes flashed red as he rose from the ground carrying Harutoga. “If you think to hide the children of this Sesshomaru again, I will kill you.”

“Why are you two so mad at each other?” Harutoga rubbed his eyes.

Sesshomaru handed Rin Taiyomaru not without some strain to his frustrated heart. He felt his back tighten and stomach alight when their hands brushed against each other. For a moment their eyes met, he knew she felt it too, the electricity between them.

He sniffed the air. He could make out the faintest scent of another male that had been in the area. “Who has been here besides Kohaku? You chose this place to mar my senses. You know me too well,” the last was said with a tone of sorrow. It was a masculine scent that almost hinted of something familiar but he couldn’t make it out. The salt from the ocean and the waves washed most of the smell away.

“His name is Higan.” She knew there was no point in lying. He would know and she had nothing to hide. “He’s been kind to us.”

Something changed in her voice and in her scent when she said his name. “You’re seeing another?” Hurt, he was more than hurt. His chest was tensing.

“I don’t know. He’s nice. He’s human. Well mostly.” Rin fidgeted with the material across her lap. He noticed her hands, they were rough where they used to be smooth. Of course they would be coarse, he had provided her with the best creams for her hands, warm clothes, food. She looked thinner than the last time he saw her. Her clothes looked tattered. He didn’t know how she was providing for herself or their children.

“You’re not eating enough,” Sesshomaru said quietly.

“It’s none of your business anymore,” Rin replied just as silently. “You’ll bring him back?”

“You think I would lie?” He turned on her angrily.

“Yes,” Rin wiped her eyes. “You knew about her for weeks and you didn’t tell me. You didn’t come home the night before Taiyomaru was born, because you were busy sleeping with someone else!”

“And so you sleep with someone else?”

“We haven’t been intimate and if I decided to, why is it your concern?”

“He’s not me,” he enunciated each word.

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Rin softly said.

Something in him felt territorial. “Harutoga go inside the hut for a moment, give him Taiyomaru, Rin.”

“Why?”

Sesshomaru walked forward and took Taiyomaru from Rin. He placed the infant in his older brother’s arms and urged them to go back into the hut. He took Rin’s hands and led her into the forest. It was almost annoying how she called to him, how her scent still warmed his heart, how her voice made him want to smile, how much he still loved her. He refused to face Rin as his hands shook at his sides. He walked with her until they were surrounded by trees and moist dirt, he turned away from her while he spoke, “my heart…what am I to do without you?” The emotions in his tone were painful.

Rin was quiet, _heart, he still thinks I’m his heart._ The term of endearment brought tears to her eyes, a lump to her throat. “Please, Sesshomaru, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

He turned around, his golden eyes entreating hers. “Who will ever know you as well as I? Who will know to wake you from your nightmares at night? Who held you while screamed in pain birthing our sons? Who knows your favorite color is yellow,” he took her hand and placed it over his heart, “that you love flowers? That you fight with more passion than a hundred men,” he pulled her body to his and rest his forehead against hers, biting back the emotions welling in his heart and continued, “that your laugh sounds like a waterfall, that your smell is like morning flowers?” He caressed her face and pulled her closer to him. “Who will know to massage your left shoulder when the weather changes. Who will mourn the child we lost with you, who will love you more than this Sesshomaru?”

Rin’s tears came on quickly. They drifted down her cheeks over her lips that were so close to his onto his fingers as he held her chin up. “Love isn’t enough,” she cried.

“I don’t love her,” Sesshomaru pulled Rin’s mouth to his, his lips were hot against hers. “Who will make your heart race? Who will know every scar on your body?” He ran his fingers across the punctures wounds on her shoulder. “I love you and only you.”

“You bonded another,” she tried feebly to move away from his grip. He felt warm, like home to her. Her pulse was rising, she pressed her mouth to his, unable to fathom why she didn’t push him away.

“And I love only you,” he laced her lips with his own and pulled her against his chest. His arms wrapped around her waist.

_Please let me go,_ the words came to her mind but stopped short at her lips. She could only shake her head no in response.

“One last time,” Sesshomaru ran his fingers down the side of Rin’s face, down her neck and over her shoulder. “If this is the end, then this Sesshomaru will say good-bye properly.” 

Rin’s breath came faster as his hand traveled down her neck and his lips came to her again. His lips breathed in her own, his mouth tasted like salt. Their arms wrapped around each other, the kiss intensified quickly. His mouth broke from hers and began laying hot open mouthed kisses down her neck and under her chin. She breathed haggardly as his hand pulled the material of her kimono apart and his mouth kissed over one mound, then the other. He scraped his teeth softly against her skin and slowly teased her nipple in her mouth.

“Mmh,” she whined struggling to stay upright. He pushed her back clemently against the trunk of a tree. She held his head as it continued down until her obi stopped him from reaching any further.

His face came back up to hers. “Let me bond you again. Come home my heart.” He kissed her mouth while reaching behind her and untying her sash. “Come home to me.”

“I can’t,” she gasped when her kimono and under layer both fell open revealing herself to him. She removed his armor that she had hardly noticed was there before. She pulled it slowly over his left arm and untied his obi. She pulled apart his haori, and gulped. Her eyes fell to the left side of his chest. “It’s gone,” she whispered.

He pulled her to him again, her breasts against his heated chest. “It doesn’t have to be,” he muttered against her neck. He lowered himself onto his knees and pulled one of her legs over his shoulder, inhaling the scent between her legs. The heat called to him, aroused his senses. He untied the sides of her underwear, and let his tongue work against her expanding bud. She dug her hands into his shoulder, she felt his fingers enter inside of her. He ran his tongue from her nether regions up to her navel, then back down. He slowly sucked and pulled on her bud until she was gasping and nearly buckling against him.

A fire was being lit in her stomach. Oh, how she had missed this. She groaned against the warmth of his mouth on her, her peak came on faster than she thought it would. She lifted herself up slightly and widened her legs to give him better access, she moaned quietly, taking in the night sky. Her body shook and pulsed around his fingers. He lifted Rin up and softly placed her back against the tree. He untied the front of his hikama lifted her up to him with one hand under buttocks and gently entered her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She was wet and dripping for him.

Rin watched as his eyes took on a slight red sheen, their mouths met again as his hips worked in and out of her. His mouth ran hot and wet along her neck. “Be mine again.” His hips pushed into her again.

“No,” she said as she returned the heat of his tongue with her own. _Why am I doing this?_ She asked herself, besides the obvious, that as she bobbed up and down against his waist, the pressure of his body against hers felt like heaven and still felt like home.

He growled low and pleasurable moans. His back was tensing, the fire in his back fuming. “Let me bond you again.” He stopped moving his hips gasping for air, stopping short from finishing. “Please, come home.” He allowed his yoki to brush against her soul, enough to feel her emotions. He was overwhelmed by a burst of love and agony, he rest his forehead against hers and kissed her mouth.

“Don’t.” She pushed back on his chest feeling his yoki touching against her soul.

“How can you remain away from me, when your love is so strong?”

“I’m sorry.” She pulled him in with her ankles knowing the action would cause him to finish.

He felt his body shiver. He kept one hand beneath her buttocks to hold Rin close to him, for just a while longer. “What am I to do without you?” He felt a lone tear run down his cheek. Together they panted as he held her, the after effects of their love making still settling in.

“You spent 900 years without me,” she reminded him.

He rest one hand against the trunk of the tree behind them, the other continued to hold Rin against him. “900 lonely years. Come home.”

“It’s her home now.” Rin pushed back on his chest. He let her down onto the forest floor. “Not mine.”

“It will always be your home. I built it for you.” He slowly retied his pants and closed his haori.

Rin wrapped herself back in her kimono, and tied her sash, doing her best to make herself look like she had not just gone into the forest with Sesshomaru, although she knew Harutoga would smell something different about them. “Good bye, my love.” She waved to him with tears in her eyes.

“Rin, tell me you don’t love me.”

She continued walking away, hugging herself, holding back her sorrow. 

_Dammit,_ he cursed himself. He flew into the air and landed in front of the hut before Rin had a chance to return. He kissed Taiyomaru’s cheek softly and gathered Harutoga before departing. _I can’t fix this…I can’t fix this…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting for the Feudalconnection.tumblr.com starts in 4 days!! Please vote for my FFN story, sequel to this one the Disease. 
> 
> And Kudo and comment, all the good stuff!


	11. Natsuki's Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki ambushes Rin, but the fight brings her labor on too soon. 
> 
> Just a reminder my story on FFN the Disease was nominated best Angst! You can vote on:  
> feudalconnection.tumblr.com 
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Natsuki landed less than gracefully because of her ballooning stomach in the garden that connection to the bedroom of Sesshomaru’s home. The sheets still smelled like that human. She wanted to blanch, but there was a new smell. She walked through the bedroom into the hallway and followed it up the corridor. As she was about to open the door, she felt a rush of the most powerful yoki she had ever felt in her life.

“Stupid bitch!” the little white haired girl yelled at her. Yuki lunged at Natsuki, the little’s one claws lit up green, misting the room where it looked like she had been eating.

“Natsuki,” Gobodo-sama attempted to grasp her.

Natsuki leapt out of the way and flew out the window of the private dining room.

Gobodo-sama cursed and followed her. Yuki grinned watching by the window. “Kill her Soba-sama!” she yelled after her grandmother.

Gobodo-sama chased after Natsuki. The younger demon was only slightly faster than she was. Natsuki fled towards the castle in the sky, intent on finding that one eyed yokai who had told her where to approach Sesshomaru. Gobodo-sama was on her heels. Natsuki stopped short right by the outside door to the room that she had been given in the castle in the sky. Gobodo-sama snatched her by the elbow and forced her into the room. Natsuki nearly landed in a puddle on the floor. “You,” Gobodo-sama yelled at her. “You are going to kill yourself and the child you carry!”

“Does it matter? You said you would kill me if I approached him again,” Natsuki laughed off her threat.

The elder dog demon pushed her through the door, onto the floor and held her by the elbow. “Do you care only for yourself?”

“It’s never bothered anyone before.” She tried to pull her elbow away when she was taken by a cramp from deep within her belly. She held her stomach, growling.

Gobodo-sama shook her head. “You will stay here. If I find another escape attempt, you will pay.”

“You said that before,” Natsuki snapped at her. “As long as I am carrying his child, you know, the moment he feels a threat to my life, he will come and he will kill the one that threatens it. You.” She ripped her elbow away. As soon as the door closed Natsuki slumped onto the bed. “What are you doing to me little one?” She touched the growing bump in her middle.

Natsuki glanced out the window, waiting for Gobodo-sama to leave. She walked out of the room and sniffed the air in the castle. He was here, she was sure of it. Touma, the yokai who had started all of this. She had spent days searching for him around Sesshomaru’s home and then along the borders to no avail. Her true intent for invading the study was to discover where those borders ended. She searched through the Lady Mother’s expansive home, up the large stair case, to the fourth floor and back down to the basement. She went out the door to her room and smelled the air again as she hovered. He was higher up. She found him in the garden on the roof. It was the strangest sight to see a garden on top of a castle floating in the sky.

She landed and stalked over to him. “Do you know where his human is?”

Touma turned to face her, his injured eye looking more white and irritated than it had in the past. “Yes I do.” He swung his braided hair around in circles.

“Tell me where,” she wasn’t asking, Natsuki was demanding.

“In your shape? What do you plan on doing?” Touma chuckled. “With that middle protruding like that, do you think you could best her? She’s a powerful fighter with a wicked blade.”

“It matters not. I am tired of her memory haunting him. I will end her life. Now tell me where she is?” She knuckled her back, annoyed that a body like hers was suffering so much discomfort. Moving around was beginning to be cumbersome. She had yet to even inform her father that she had defied Gobodo-sama and approached Sesshomaru.

“In a hut, on the beach, against a rock face. About a hundred miles south of his southern border, over a large river, in ogre lands,” he emphasized the last two words by puckering his lips. “She remains there alone. The Taijia that was with her left. He won’t return for at least another month. That’s how far from Sesshomaru she fled after your display.”

“Tell me about her sword,” she demanded hands on her hips, ignoring the compliment.

“It’s made from one of his childhood fangs. It holds the ability to call forth a whip like Sesshomaru’s and in times of desperation it can release Dokkasu. She spars expertly with it. She carries it on her at almost all times, except at night when she sleeps.”

Natsuki touched her bottom lip with her index finger. “Then I will go by night, and end her life.”

“You are so loyal,” Touma gloated, “it’s so beautiful to see,” he laughed as Natsuki flew from the roof, “and so foolish. Hisato,” Touma called.

“Yes, Touma-sama?” Hisato came down from one of the large trees in the garden. He landed lightly. His black hair floated in the wind.

“How much did you hear?” Touma tilted his head to the other side.

“Enough,” Hisato answered. He leaned against a tree trunk. “So we’re finally making our move?”

“My move, yes, did I tell you? It was I who convinced Natsuki to approach the great Sesshomaru now. I can’t wait. When I’m done with him, he’ll be a broken shell and then I will finally have my revenge. Follow her. It doesn’t matter which one dies, either way I win. The human dies he suffers, his unborn child dies, he suffers.”

“As you wish, Touma-sama,” Hisato jumped off the roof and followed Natsuki’s scent to Rin.

* * *

Natsuki landed in time to smell and hear something coming from the bushes. She knew from both her bond and from her sense of smell that Sesshomaru was there. She landed behind a boulder. Their little boy hanyou was inside the hut holding the baby. She glared at the child. _Such an ugly little thing, he looks like a skunk._ She stuck her nose up. For a moment she considered dispatching of them too. The sword was against the far wall, abandoned, guarded by a hapless child. She crept quietly towards the hut, when the sound of soft moans and deep growls caught her attention. That smell, she knew that smell. She followed it quietly into the forest.

From behind a tree, Natsuki felt a tear come to her eyes. Was he capable of so much passion? Sesshomaru held Rin in one hand, tenderly making love to her, caressing her body, begging her to come home. Rin’s slender legs were wrapped around his waist as she moaned into his ears. The emotion in her lover’s voice was infuriating. He had never spoken to her with such tenderness, such truth. It both touched and infuriated Natsuki. Why couldn’t he let her go? Why couldn’t he feel that way about her? She wiped the insulting tears from her eyes and continued to watch Sesshomaru debase himself with the human. _Your bond to her is broken. Why do you continue to seek her out?_

When he was finished, Natsuki backed away and attempted to keep her emotions in check out of fear of alerting him to her presence. He plead with Rin again to return to him, to admit she no longer loved him and then gathered the boy child and left. As soon as he did, the child left inside of a wicker basket began shrieking so loud that Natsuki had to cover her ears.

* * *

Rin silently returned to the hut. Just as she was reaching the entrance where the fire burned low, she could hear Taiyomaru shrieking, a vortex of air landed in front of her, spinning sand into the air, getting it in Rin’s eyes. Rin turned away with a painful grunt. She knew someone was there. She could sense the powerful yoki. She dusted her eyes clean of the sand grains to see the same demoness who had interrupted the welcoming celebration for Taiyomaru, standing in front of her. Rin’s eyes darted to Taiyomaru, and to her sword.

“You won’t be needing that,” Natsuki giggled as she drew her own sword.

Rin inhaled and started laughing. She couldn’t help it. Natsuki looked like a child wielding a sword, weakly and without proper form. She wasn’t afraid of her. In the dark, even with the light of the crescent moon she was unable to see the protrusion of Natsuki’s stomach. “Get out of my way.” Rin attempted to walk past the demoness.

Natsuki lunged at Rin with her sword. Rin dodged to the side and blocked it with her hands. “I’ve sparred and fought against Inu-Yokai more powerful than you will ever be.” Rin reached out her hand as she flipped under another strike from Natsuki’s sword. Once she was behind Natsuki she kicked the demoness in the back as hard as she could, making Natsuki stumble forward and howl in pain. Rin’s sword flew from its place by the wall and into her hand. She tossed the sheathe aside, activated the whip and let it fly around Natsuki’s feet ripping them out from beneath her. “What are you, one hundred? Two hundred years old? I sense your power and you don’t even know how to use it yet, do you?”

Natsuki lifted her hands up to Rin to spray her. Rin jumped backwards. Natsuki flew at Rin, claws and sword extended. “Three hundred and fifty two and I won’t be defeated or out done by a pathetic human!” She tried to swipe at Rin’s face.

Rin blocked with the sword, she let the whip fly loose again this time wrapping itself completely around Natsuki’s body. Rin yanked her down on to the ground. She flipped over her, sword pointed at Natsuki’s chest. Natsuki’s eyes were red and angry. “Go ahead, transform,” Rin encouraged her. “I’ll even let you.” She backed away and recalled the green serpent to her sword. “Do you think that I never fought him like that?”

Natsuki’s face shifted, her nose grew, the markings beneath her eyes changed. Her torso extended white as she flew off the ground. She landed in front of Rin as a giant white dog, snarling. Her saliva reeked of poison as it dripped against the sandy surface. Rin jumped high into the air and landed on Natsuki’s back. She knew where the weak points were. Rin held her sword over her head in both hands, blade down. The white dog beneath her roared in pain even before Rin drove the sword in. It flopped to the side knocking Rin off. She rolled then landed on her feet. She walked back to the neck and was about to drive her sword into the nerve between the neck and the back when she felt a hand catch her wrist. It was striped on the wrists, the Haori was white. Rin turned to look into Sesshomaru’s furious eyes.

Natsuki’s dog form whined again, her legs curling into her stomach. That’s when Rin saw the abnormal size of the waist. “You…” she tried to pull her hand free from Sesshomaru’s grasp. His hands were like raw iron, unmoving.

Inside he was waging his own internal war. His instinct told him to kill Rin for threatening Natsuki. As soon as he had landed within his own borders he passed Harutoga off to the wolves to watch momentarily as he was hit by panic and fear from Natsuki. His instinct forced him to return, to follow to her location. “Stop fighting me Rin.” His hand shook, his cells yearned to release dokkasu against the pale skin of her wrist.

“She’s pregnant isn’t she?” Rin felt a sharp pain in her chest. “After…you asked me to come home? Knowing that? You said nothing? You liar!” She reached for Bakusaiga with her free hand intending on slamming it into his chest.

He grabbed her hand and pinned it against her side. “Stop, I can’t allow you to hurt her.” A flash of lightening streaked the sky followed by a loud thunderclap.

“She just attacked me!” Rin tried to kick his face with her leg, she knew it was fruitless, but she had to try. “Let me go!”

“Stop fighting me!” Sesshomaru flew into the air and landed by the entrance of her hut. “My instincts no longer recognize you as mine. If you continue to fight this Sesshomaru, I will end your life.” He let Rin go. She stumbled and nearly fell over. “Go to Taiyomaru, now.” His entire body trembled. The tiny infant stopped crying the second he heard Sesshomaru’s voice.

“No.” Rin folded her arms. “How could you? How could you come here to me, and do that, in the forest, knowing that she was pregnant?”

Hisato landed on Rin’s front porch. “Rin-sama? What’s wrong with Natsuki?”

The she dog groaned again. Her paws drew circles in the sand. They dug muddy ravines as rain began to drip from the sky. Rin eyed her, she knew those sounds, the discomfort. She went inside and picked up Taiyomaru. She took a yellow sash and tied it around her waist, simultaneously latching the baby to her breast and creating a sling to hold him. As she turned to the entrance of the hut, Sesshomaru stood in the doorframe, his face full of concern. “Rin…help me?”

Rin’s mouth fell open. She tried to calm her breathing. “She’s having your child now isn’t she?”

“Yes. Something’s wrong,” Sesshomaru motioned for her to follow.

“I’ve never delivered full blooded demons before, only hanyous and humans.” Rin went with him out of the hut. “Call her Hisato. What does your instinct tell you, Sesshomaru?”

“To comfort her,” he attempted to caress Rin’s cheek, “the way I did you, but not like this, she won’t shift back to her human form.”

“She’s coming,” Hisato spoke confidently.

Rin slapped Sesshomaru’s hand off her face. “Don’t touch me, ever again! You are a selfish, carnal being who only cares about himself! Get out of my way.” She pushed past him. She hiked cautiously to the white dog on the ground. The air smelled like wet fur. The dog moaned in pain again. Rin walked around the back of the dog, not sure what she would see, or should see. Her feet sunk into the mud making it hard to move. She shivered in the cold rain, the dog howled again. When Rin came to her face, she growled and attempted to nip at Rin. “Oh stop it baka, I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve had three children. I’m trying to help you. I don’t know why, you don’t deserve it. Just let the pain wash over you. It serves a purpose. You’ll get to see your child soon.”

She glanced over her shoulder at Sesshomaru. He flew towards the head of the dog. He gave Rin a forlorn look. “Just do it Sesshomaru, you can’t hurt me more than you already have.” Rin knew he could hear her over the roaring of the rain.

Sesshomaru lay his hands over the crescent moon on the forehead of Natsuki. He pressed his face against it. She whined softly in his hands. His eyes shuttered, Rin’s skin prickled. She could feel the rise in his yoki. A whirlwind landed behind Rin. “Ka-san!” Yuki jumped out of Gobodo-sama’s arms and ran to her mother. She wrapped her little arms around Rin’s shoulders. “I’m sorry I ran away.”

Rin felt a tear fall from her eyes as she knelt down and stroked Yuki’s hair. “It’s okay Yuki. Where is Harutoga?”

“With the wolves, Hisato, bring him here,” Sesshomaru ordered him.

Hisato flew into the air.

“What does she need?” Rin asked Gobodo-sama. The mother’s eyes were angry, furiously glaring at Rin. The edges of the irises were tinged a pink hue.

“She needs him,” she pointed at Sesshomaru. “Sesshomaru you must comfort her in your true form, you can ease her pain, it won’t stop the process.” She touched Natsuki’s stomach. “Idiot, I told you to stop flying around. You will be lucky if the child survives. We are powerful not impervious.”

Sesshomaru flew into the air, bounded into a ball of light and landed next to Natsuki. Rin tried to force her stomach to stop churning. She hadn’t noticed how much larger Sesshomaru was than Natsuki in his true form. Next to him she looked frail and small. His giant form, with beady red eyes lay down next to her side. He pushed his paws beneath her head and rest his chin over her neck. His breath came out in hot spurts as she panted. Her legs slowly stopped circling and the whines of pain ceased. Rin watched the two of them together, mesmerized. He licked behind her ears, and nuzzled her neck. There was something in the glow of Natsuki’s eyes that Rin didn’t notice before. They were furious, flaming at first, then in pain, but they looked at Rin with an emotion she couldn’t quite make out. Remorse perhaps? “You look good together,” Rin told them, “I suppose this is the way it should always have been.”

Sesshomaru barked at Rin followed by a low grumble and a growl.

“She is giving you what I can’t. We both know you would have regretted never having a pure blooded child.” A large paw crashed in front of Rin, with red eyes that showed too much emotion. “It’s over Sesshomaru…when she is done, you can leave, you can visit the children whenever you want.”

Rin shook her head and turned to go inside her hut. Hisato landed with Harutoga next to the entrance. Yuki followed her mother, holding her hand. “What’s going on?” Yuki asked her mother.

“She’s having a baby. The baby will be your brother or sister.” Rin chewed on the side of her cheek.

“I don’t like her,” Yuki snarled softly, “she was rude to you.”

“I don’t like her either,” Rin scoffed, “but we will welcome her anyway.” As soon as they were inside the hut Rin dropped to her knees and grabbed Yuki by the shoulders. “Never do that again. Do you know how worried I was about you? Do you?”

“I wanted Chichiue,” Yuki answered with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she hugged her mother. “You wouldn’t let us go home.”

“I was wrong Yuki.” She took a blanket out to wrap around Yuki. The little girl was soaked from head to toe. “I shouldn’t have taken you from him. I should have told him where we were.” She held her daughter tightly.

“Yuki!” Harutoga jumped on top of his sister. “Don’t leave me again! There’s no one to play with!” He wrapped his light cream arms around his sister.

“I think Taiyo got bigger since the last time I saw him.” Yuki touched the baby. “Ka-san you’re all wet too.”

Rin coughed, “I’m fine. Yuki, take Taiyo.” She went to her porch, there were now three giant dogs huddled around each other. Hisato stood just outside the door, his arms folded as usual, his black fur getting wet.

“Rin-sama,” he sighed quietly, “you shouldn’t have left the way you did. He’s been searching for you non-stop ever since.”

“I knew he would.” Rin wiped the tears from her eyes. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to let me go. He’s never been able to.”

“That should prove something to you, Rin-sama.”

“Rin,” she corrected him, “I’m not the lady of the house anymore.”

“Rin,” Hisato said, “I hope you and I will maintain our friendship.”

“Of course,” Rin answered. “What will she need when the child is born? Blankets? Water?”

“You’re sure you can do that for her?” Hisato turned around surprised.

“Yes. I’ve never refused a woman care because I didn’t like her.” Rin tried to plaster on a fake smile. “What will she need?”

“Food, water, the child will need blankets. Had it come a month later the body would be heartier. They won’t be able to travel for a few hours. A warm fire, space away from the rain.” He raised an eyebrow at Rin.

“Is the child born as a dog?” She gazed out at the three white dogs together being splattered with Rain. Natsuki panted while Sesshomaru’s form kept his muzzle against her neck.

“Yes, but once the body is stable, it will shift to a human form.” He turned around.

“What is that sound he is making?” It sounded almost like a low purr, a rumble, a sound she hadn’t heard him make in that form before.

“It’s a comforting sound. Do you sense the rise in yoki when he makes it? If he had used his yoki to stop your pain, he would have healed what needed to happen for Taiyomaru to be born. It’s not an issue amongst our own kind. He can ease her pain, they will both be weakened afterwards.” Hisato watched the three dogs together.

“One more reason they’re better off together.” She forgot how keen Hisato’s hearing was.

“You can’t believe that,” he twirled around. “I have never seen a man more in love.”

“Don’t,” she warned him. “I’m tired of hearing how he had no choice, no control, please?”

Hisato nodded. “What was she doing here?”

“She tried to kill me,” Rin chuckled. “I almost killed her. He stopped me.” She breathed deeply. “I’ll warm the fire, and put some blankets next to it too.”

“You’re taking this well Rin,” he complemented her.

“No I’m not. I want to throw up. I want to kill him instead of her. I don’t understand how he could do this to me,” she swallowed hard. “I’m not going to cry again.”

“Instinct,” Hisato answered. “Have you never done something completely irrational?”

“Not like this.” Rin went into the hut and removed some of the furs she had originally used on Taiyomaru. She set them near enough to the fire to heat them. “Jaken would be helpful now, or Akari,” she grumbled. She took wood from the pile against the wall and threw the logs into the hearth, stoking the embers to a brilliant orange that made her vision blur.

“You’re going to let her in here?” Yuki’s eyes widened in shock. “But she’s the reason you and Chichiue are fighting!”

“Sometimes the right thing, doesn’t feel right Yuki, and sometimes what feels right is wrong.” She stood up and gathered some of the cloth diapers she had in the corner that were clean. “Yuki, do you want to help?”

“No.” She folded her arms. “I hate her.”

Rin dusted her hands off and sat next to Yuki. “I want you to help. Go in the forest and find something for her to eat. She’ll be hungry after the baby comes.”

“No,” Yuki growled. “I’m not helping that bitch.”

“Yuki!” Rin scolded her, then forced herself to calm. “Think of it as helping Chichiue and your new brother or sister and me. You know I can’t hunt nearly as well as you can. If you don’t go, then I have to, and it will take me longer in the rain to find something.”

“Fine but I’m bringing her the thinnest rabbit I can find,” Yuki grumbled as she left the hut.

“Can I help too?” Harutoga asked.

Rin handed Harutoga a large bucket. “Let the rain fill this and give it to her. She’ll be thirsty. Tell Chichiue to bring them into the hut when the baby comes.” Rin picked up Taiyomaru to feed him again.

Harutoga hefted the wooden bucket outside. He ran onto the beach where the three white dogs sat. Gobodo-sama’s form walked in circles around her son and Natsuki. Rin stood in the doorway while nursing the baby, she strapped him to her chest again. She heard a high pitched cry come from the female dog that Rin realized, she didn’t even know her name. She had said it that night that she had interrupted the welcoming celebration, but not again. Rin tried to peer through the rain but couldn’t. “What’s going on?” she asked Hisato.

“The baby is coming. She’s pushing, eased pain or not it still hurts,” he answered, “somethings wrong.”

Gobodo-sama’s loped in front of the house. It was as if she was saying something to Hisato. She was only slightly smaller than Sesshomaru in her true form. Her ears looked like the same high pony tails she wore in her human form.

“She’s pushing but the child isn’t coming,” Hisato glanced to Rin. “Natsuki is scared, she won’t let Sesshomaru calm her.”

“Natsuki…so that’s her name. What could she be scared of?” Rin rolled her eyes. The rain beat down on the dogs on the beach. Thunder clapped loudly, and lightening lit the sky.

Hisato and Gobodo-sama shared a long glance with each other. Rin could almost hear the words coming off the elder dog demon as she spoke to her bond mate. He nodded his head. She wondered if he was responding to her. Were their minds linked? “Rin…Gobodo-sama asks if you would talk to Natsuki. She’s afraid of becoming a mother. She’s young. She’s reminding me to tell you that Natsuki is an idiot child who didn’t listen to her. It would have been better for her to wait until she was over four hundred. She fears being a mother this young.”

“I can’t…she can come in here when it’s over, but I can’t do that. She ruined everything.” Rin sighed trying to control her emotions. Her stomach hurt, her throat was burning, her eyes stung.

“She’ll die and so will the child if she doesn’t allow it to be born,” he turned golden eyes on her.

“Maybe that’s a good thing, then he’ll be free of her.” She let her eyes roll in the back of her head, shocked at her own callousness.

“Would you take him back?”

“No.” Rin glared at Sesshomaru’s form.

“Then why deny him her? Talk to her Rin. Tell her she has nothing to fear. She won’t hear it from Gobodo-sama.”

“You all are really pushing it.” Rin took her infant from the pouch she had made and handed him to Hisato. “Keep him dry. I shouldn’t have taken him out earlier.” Rin sighed. “Well, I said it myself, what is right doesn’t always feel right.” She hiked through the mud half slipping as her feet struggled to find traction against the mud. In seconds she was soaked form head to toe again. She looked at Sesshomaru with his head on top of Natsuki’s, the strange sound he made as she labored. Rin approached Natsuki’s muzzle and stroked the fur around the nose. “You two deserve each other. You’re both selfish, self-absorbed beings. You ruined everything for me.”

Natsuki’s eyes opened and looked at Rin. The head nodded.

“It’s not so bad. It’s scary at first, being a mother. The hardest part for me was how quickly it happened. I was seventeen. I suppose just a little older than you are in human years now. We,” she glanced up at Sesshomaru, “I don’t think we had a plan. I was excited, but then Touma attacked us, he’s Sesshomaru’s younger brother.”

Natsuki’s furry head shot up, knocking into Sesshomaru’s chin splashing Rin with wet smelly droplets from her soaked fur. Sesshomaru let out a low growl. He nuzzled Natsuki’s head back down onto his paws and licked her neck with his long pink tongue.

“Sesshomaru has a habit of making enemies that target the people he cares for. He kidnapped me right before Yuki was born, so I know what it’s like to go into labor under duress, to be afraid. I tried to stop her from coming, but then I thought about how happy I was to meet her. How much I lo…” Sesshomaru’s head perked up. “You can’t mess up. It will change you, take you to new levels of yourself you didn’t know possible. You’ll love it. No one is going to hurt you here. I warmed some blankets for your baby. I can give you some dry clothes. Yuki is looking for something for you to eat, you have water, let the baby out Natsuki.” Rin pat her head lightly. “Let the pressure lead you. I know you must feel it. You’ll be a good mother, you’ll see.” Rin wasn’t sure of that last part. She hoped Natsuki was so delirious from birthing that she wouldn’t be able to tell Rin was lying.

Sesshomaru bowed his head to Rin.

“He said, thank you,” Harutoga smiled, holding his mother’s hand.

“I really do hate you,” Rin muttered under her breath. She knew Sesshomaru heard it. His eyes changed to a darker shade of red. “You don’t deserve me, or our children. I should have never followed you when I was a child. Come Haru.” Rin turned around quickly when she heard a giant roar come out of Natsuki and splash. Then tiny cries. Gobodo-sama’s form picked a small fluffy white thing the size of a large basket up in her mouth and set it down in front of Natsuki. Rin sighed again, thinking if she sighed one more time she would stab herself. “Congratulations,” her voice broke as she walked away.

“Rin,” Sesshomaru quickly returned to his human form.

“Don’t,” she warned him, “just don’t. Bring them inside when she is ready.”

She ran for the hut as the rain began to clear and the sound of tiny high pitched whines filled the air. Hisato held Taiyomaru, rocking him, the tiny infant screamed and screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT AND KUDO!! I LOVE IT ALL! AHHH Natsuki had the baby...what do you guys think is going to happen now?
> 
> YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON:  
> ELOHINIAR.TUMBLR.COM  
> TWITTER.COM/ELOHINAR


	12. Post-Partum Plots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru brings Natsuki into Rin's home. A discovery is made about Hisato and some relationships can't be repaired.

After a short time, Natsuki leaned heavily on Sesshomaru as he led her inside of the hut. Their child was still in its dog form. Rin had already made a bed for Natsuki with dry clothing next to it. Yuki had returned only moments before with a grey rabbit. She held it by the ears and threw it at her father and Natsuki before running out onto the beach. The night was getting later. Gobodo-sama walked in behind them. Somehow her clothes were dry, where Sesshomaru and Natsuki’s were sopping wet. Sesshomaru helped Natsuki lay down on her side. The little puppy snuggled into her stomach. Rin took out blankets and covered the infant. She handed Natsuki a water bottle. “You should sit with her, Sesshomaru,” Rin adjured him.

Natsuki slumped to her side and picked up the rabbit with a frown on her face. It was scraggly and thin as Yuki had promised. She set the brown rabbit aside and lay down on her side.

“What is it?” Harutoga came over to the little puppy.

“A boy,” Sesshomaru answered.

“What’s his name?” Harutoga moved closer to the blanket. “Can I touch him?”

“Tsukimaru,” Sesshomaru glanced at Rin. “Pet him gently,” he guided his son’s little hand down the damp body.

“Sacred Moon,” Gobodo-sama smiled and knelt down. “He will be powerful.”

“I need some air,” Rin said.

“Leave Taiyomaru, Rin,” it almost came out as a plea.

Rin handed Taiyomaru to Sesshomaru and left the hut.

“She hates me,” Sesshomaru slumped against the wall.

“Did you expect any different?” Gobodo-sama said. “Hisato, why do I feel you so agitated?”

“I need to speak to you, alone,” Hisato huffed, “come, dear one.” He grasped Gobodo-sama’s hand. He flew into the air holding her around the waist. He gave her a soft peck on the cheek and landed several miles from Rin’s hut. The area was covered with a large overhang of trees that cast shadows on the rocks and boulders that surrounded them. He balled his hands into fists, then landed a blow into the rockface that they stood against. The impact shattered the rock, sending small pebbles flying. “It was Touma,” he began. “He sent Natsuki to meet Sesshomaru against your wishes.”

“Dammit,” Gobodo-sama fumed, “I knew there had to be more to this than her desire to meet him now. Did Touma tell you anything else?”

“He plans to make his move soon. What it is, he hasn’t shared with me.” Hisato sat on a boulder. “What shall we do? Should we inform Sesshomaru-sama?”

Gobodo-sama paced back and forth. “Touma,” she snarled, “making me choose between my two sons. Sesshomaru will not spare him this time. Her scent changed when Rin mentioned his name. Sesshomaru will suspect something. If I know my wayward son, he made Natsuki feel like she was doing Sesshomaru a favor. No, we won’t tell them. We’ll wait to see what and when his move is. If I know him, he will seek Rin’s life, and the life of their children. If it’s a trap, then we will wait for him to spring it, and when he does, I will deal with him. Continue your ruse, Hisato.”

“Can you kill your own son?”

“I should have killed him the day he was born. I sensed the instability in his heart. Sesshomaru was cold, calculating, vindictive and mean, but he was never truly evil. That is why his father left him Tenseiga, with the hope his heart would soften. Touma is the same, only his heart is black and no little girl running in his footsteps would change that,” she lashed out at a tree. “So this was what he was planning?” Gobodo-sama folded her arms.

“Yes,” he sighed, “I knew he was planning something but not this. I didn’t make the connection. This isn’t fair to them,” Hisato said, hands on his hips, “they can’t come back from this.”

“Life isn’t fair, dear one. It is what it is meant to be, and what is meant to be happens. Tsukimaru will be powerful. The legacy of Inu no Taisho must continue. I love Yuki, Harutoga, and Taiyomaru with all that is inside of me, but they will never rise to the level of their father. This would have happened eventually. There is no way to undo it.”

“You saw how they loved each other,” he reminded her as he pulled her into his lap, “what would you do if I took another?”

“There is no other for you, my tainted love,” she lowered her lips to his, “besides, to casually throw her bond to him away, she is lucky I do not spill her blood.”

“You said the Miko only sealed it,” Hisato asked.

“It was all she could do after throwing my hand off, and even that took all her power. Her threat was entertaining at the least. Something happened. I saw it as he comforted Natsuki. His heart has broken. He will move on, eventually. His love remains. For them it was never about their bond,” she curved her neck into Hisato’s lips.

“And so we let them suffer?” He ran his teeth over her neck. He pulled her kimono down, revealing a bite mark. He ran his thumb along the raised skin. “Do you still think of him?”

“Often,” Gobodo-sama stood up, “are you jealous I carry his mark?”

“No,” Hisato covered her cream colored shoulder. “I would like to leave my own.”

“Those days are over,” she reminded him, “they’re no longer necessary.”

Hisato pulled her back into his lap. He nibbled on the back of her neck. “So we let them suffer?”

“Yes,” she walked towards an opening in the trees, “Come. I wish to spend more time with my grandchildren. I never thought he would have this many. You will stay here and continue to guard them. I will bring the moon stones from my home,” she flew into the air, with Hisato following close behind her. “They will create a connection between Harutoga and Yuki to Sesshomaru. Natsuki will return to my castle, she will be safe there.”

“He has access to your castle,” Hisato reminded her.

“Yes, he does, and I’ll be counting on him doing something stupid. Leave my home to me, it’s here that you must guard. If anything happens to Yuki, Harutoga, or Taiyomaru it will break my son. His heart is already broken, this would shatter it.”

“Which is what Touma wants,” Hisato landed.

Gobodo-sama answered by squeezing his hand. She walked toward Rin, who continued to stare at the sky watching the stars go by. She could smell the sorrow wafting off the human. It was debasing, and embarrassing. “You,” she hissed at Rin, “do you know how badly you hurt him by having the Miko seal your bond to him?”

“Seal?” Rin turned around wiping her eyes.

“Yes, seal. It was not broken, what happened tonight? When I saw him last it was still intact. He asked you to return, didn’t he? And you refused?”

Rin stood up and dusted her backside off. “I’m not talking to you.”

“You will talk to me,” she grabbed Rin by the arm. Rin felt the slightest sting of dokkasu hitting her skin. “That is a warning. Do you not understand what you have done to him?”

“What about what he did to me?” Rin attempted to move her arm away.

“He did what any great Dai-Yokai does. He was meant to produce an heir that could rival even his strength the way he rivaled his father.”

“I’m human, this isn’t our way,” Rin said. “Let go of my arm. Just because he is dai-yokai it doesn’t mean I have to accept everything, ah!” Rin held her face, Gobodo-sama slapped it leaving a red mark.

“You took his children from him. I have never seen him more alive, more whole than when he met you. The little girl I revived with my meido-hoseki…I did not return your life to do this to him-”

“Mother, stop,” Sesshomaru stood behind them, he ripped his mother’s arm off Rin’s. “Rin, are you okay?” He held her face looking for the mark.

“I’m fine,” she lied, her arm stung. She slapped his hand down. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why?”

“Because I’m a selfish, carnal being who only cares about himself,” he replied with venom. “Taiyomaru is hungry, come inside.”

“I need to go for a walk. When I come back, I need you to have already left. I can’t do this Sesshomaru. I can’t, I can’t watch you two together. Please, just bring Taiyo out here.”

“I’m taking Yuki and Harutoga,” he informed her. “Once I am home, I’m sending Hideyoshi. If you don’t accept my sentinels then I will make you move your...” he glared at the hut, “home back into my lands. Let me heal your arm.”

“No,” she moved away from his grasp.

“It will just keep eating at your skin. Mother, go bring Taiyomaru to Rin,” he pulled Rin to him, ripping off the sleeve of her kimono and running his tongue over her red and blistering skin. The blisters quickly faded and the red skin turned back to a supple peach. He cursed himself, even that action made him crave a closeness to her.

Rin’s skin tingled, she felt her temperature rise. _Why can he still do this to me?_ She stopped fighting his grip and allowed him to finish cleaning her arm. In frustration she turned her fist on Sesshomaru.

He caught her balled hand in his own, as he continued licking the wound. He stopped once the skin looked clean. He released her arm, almost knocking her over. She tried again to hit him, and he blocked it. “I hate you,” she spat at his feet.

He remained quiet.

“And of course you don’t say anything,” she picked up a wad of sand and threw it at his face. He lifted his mokomoko, blocking it. She started coughing from the cold, the rain was finally easing.

“You’re going to get sick,” Sesshomaru tried to temper his speech.

“Bastard,” Rin coughed again. “Why do you care?” She wanted to pummel him, but he obviously wasn’t going to let her. She screamed in frustration when the words came back to her. “I don’t understand, what did she mean, I hurt you?”

“You suddenly care?” He scoffed and returned towards the hut. He stopped and turned on Rin, “you won’t come home?”

“No,” she walked towards the hut, “it’s not my home anymore.”

“And you will treat me like this when I come here?” He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. She had never spoken to him like this before, with so much anger and hatred.

“I need my coat, you ripped my sleeve,” she brushed past him.

He snatched her wrist and pulled her back. “This is how you will treat this Sesshomaru?”

“They know your smell, don’t bother coming here when you visit them. Meet them in the forest,” she attempted to pull her arm away, “let me go,” she tugged again. “Sesshomaru, let me go,” she said firmer.

“I can’t,” he whispered through clenched teeth.

“You have to,” the lump in her throat was coming back. “You have a family in there now, her, your new son. Please, let go of my arm, you’re hurting me.”

“You’re hurting me,” he looked away from her when he said it.

“Let go,” she touched the tips of his claws carefully trying to pry his fingers off her, “please, let me go.” It wasn’t just her arm she wanted him to let go of.

He released her, careful to avoid cutting her skin with his claws. She ran into the hut, took out the winter coat that he had made for her right after Taiyomaru was born, picked up their baby and fled as fast as her feet would take her towards the bay.

Sesshomaru glanced at Hisato as he climbed the steps of the hut. “Follow her.”

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama,” Hisato followed her from a distance down the seashore.

* * *

Rin walked along the beach, kicking the soaking sand as she made her way toward the bay that was a few miles from her hut. “Maybe I’ll go swimming,” she thought to herself. The water was freezing, it was soaking through her boots and made her toes cold. She felt Taiyomaru nibbling on her breast as she walked. “Not with you, I guess." She shook her head for what felt like the hundredth time. Instead she decided to sit by the waves as they rushed along the shore, wishing they could wash her away with them. She let the sand soak into her skin and let her tears come quietly. _Sesshomaru…_

He watched her from the bushes, sitting in the water, crying quietly. Higan came around the bay. “Rin,” he called her.

She quickly wiped her tears and turned to face him, hoping that the shadows of the evening would cover the red splotches she knew painted her cheeks, and that her voice would come out normal instead of hoarse, “Higan-dono, you’ve returned.”

“That I have, what are you doing out so late?” He came closer to Rin. “Little Taiyomaru is so quiet tonight,” he said.

“Yes, his father is near,” Rin answered.

“And yet you sit on the beach and cry, did something happen? Am I out of place asking?”

“No, you know how demons are,” she said. She kept her eyes on the water. During the day it was green in color. At night, it was midnight blue. The waves crashed lightly.

“Unfaithful?” Higan offered.

“At times.”

“May I sit with you Rin-dono?” Higan requested. His black hair looked like magic floating in the wind as if it was surfing the night currents.

“Please, if you want to get wet,” she sighed, “the moon is bright tonight.”

“It is,” he sat behind her, “Rin-dono, would it be presumptuous of me to place my arm around you?”

Rin thought about that for a moment. In the last month he had visited several times. He brought food, blankets, and even fixed a leak in the roof one night as it was raining. They enjoyed walks along the beach and deep conversation. There was a part of her that worried with Sesshomaru so near a fight would break out, or that he was watching from the bushes. Her heart ached and in that moment, all she wanted was comfort, it didn’t matter who it came from. “Go ahead,” she said quietly.

Higan scooted closer to Rin and placed his arm around her shoulder, pulling her forehead into the soft skin of his neck. It was strange smelling someone else. It was a habit she had picked up from Sesshomaru, recognizing smells. He always smelled like the forest, particularly pine trees. Higan smelled like the sky, clear and free. His chest was warm, comforting and relaxing. “A man should recognize the value of a woman,” he said as his chin rest on top of her head, “he should know her beauty and her worth.”

The words reverberated in her ears. Is that what happened, did she lose value and beauty? Was it the fact that she was aging? Rin wanted to bite something, Natsuki didn’t look older than fourteen or fifteen years old, despite being over three hundred. And now she gave Sesshomaru another child. Rin had not seen the baby. She wondered.In a human form, did the child look like Sesshomaru? Did he have cheek stripes, back stripes, a crescent moon? His hair would undoubtedly be white like his father's. Rin forced the thought from her head. She felt lips on her forehead and a hand on her neck easing her chin up, “I have enjoyed our walks immensely,” Higan smiled at her. He slowly tilted her neck and let his lips join with hers. His tongue flicked against hers as the kiss quickly intensified. She returned the warmth, wrapping her arms around his neck. Comfort, felt like heaven.

* * *

Sesshomaru allowed Natsuki to move closer to him. He pulled her against his chest by her deflated and somewhat puffed out stomach. Her body was so pale she could put the moon to shame. He could feel her exhaustion through their bond. He smoothed silver hair away from her face, revealing dark inky circles around her eyes. Her breath was still labored. Her right hand rested on top of the furry mound in front of her. The tiny muzzle of their baby whimpered latently as it nuzzled closer into the heat of Natsuki’s breast. Sesshomaru couldn’t deny his emotions. He felt pride fathering another child, a pureblooded demon whose strength wafted off it in waves. His instincts told him to hold Natsuki, to give her this much. She looked like a pathetic child.

Natsuki moaned in pain, her body tensed. Sesshomaru stroked her shoulder against his will. He felt the need to care for her. Her heart shaped face twisted in pain. “Take the pain away,” she begged him.

He put his palm against her chest and placed his lips on her pulse. She thought she would melt in the heat of his embrace. “You’re injured. A blow to your back,” his yoki sought out the damaged internal muscles within the confines of her rib cage. “That was stupid coming here, how did you know where to find her?”

Natsuki’s muscles calmed under Sesshomaru’s touch. She felt the absence when his lips left her neck. The pain in her back eased as his yoki reached out tendrils of healing, closing the wound caused by Rin’s sturdy foot. Natsuki shook her head. Something told her she had stepped into a feud, unknowingly shattering a tranquility she didn’t understand. Rin said that Touma abducted and attacked her the day that she had their girl child. “You still love her, why do you still love her?” Natsuki didn’t understand. “Why did she help me? I tried to kill her.”

“Humans don’t have the same rules we do,” Sesshomaru answered. As he did, a light overtook the tiny baby in front of him. The downy white fur shifted ever so delicately to supple, soft, moon-white skin. A crescent moon dangled on his forehead, two magenta stripes marked his cheeks. Tiny, tired golden eyes looked up at the two who had created him and little clawed fingers grasped at the hem of Natsuki’s soaked garment. Sesshomaru felt his mouth open, his hand caressed the tiny cheek. “Tsukimaru,” he tickled the baby’s chin, “you gave me a strong son, for that I am grateful.”

“Why do you love her?” Natsuki could no longer claim that Rin was weak. Rin was powerful, robust and a skilled fighter. His love for her was confounding, irrational and made no sense to Sesshomaru.

“Why does a river never cease flowing? It simply flows,” Sesshomaru helped Natsuki move the baby to her breast. “She is my heart. I cared for her since she was a child, and found love in her when she became a woman, a love you destroyed.” His heart was weighted with guilt for allowing his instincts to lead him to this.

Natsuki bit her bottom lip, guilt and remorse finally beginning to sink in. “I’m not sure how to get him on,” she admitted tearfully. “I’m sorry,” she wiped her eyes. She hoped he understood for what.

Sesshomaru maneuvered the baby, “I have held Rin many times while she nursed my children like this. His stomach is against yours, see how he opens his mouth?” He was annoyed, she was hiding something. She had been the entire time. They were being played. Once the baby was latched, Sesshomaru resumed speaking, “your scent changed when she mentioned Touma, why? It’s changing now, you think to lie to me?” Anger rose in his words, fire in his stomach. “Dammit,” he slammed a hand against the back wall of the hut, “it was Touma? Touma told you to do this?”

“He said I would be helping you,” Natsuki cringed as the fury built inside their bond. She attempted to calm him and was met by a wall, locking her out. “He said that you were considered weak, and that you would die the same death as your father.”

Sesshomaru glanced at his children sleeping on the other side of the wooden floor. Harutoga laced one arm around Yuki’s stomach. Yuki’s head rested against his mother’s lap. Gobodo-sama’s golden eyes flared at Sesshomaru. “Did you know this?” A voice that should have come out prideful and robust, was weak and tormented.

“Hisato just informed me,” she placidly responded.

“You thought to hide it from me?” Sesshomaru’s hand stroked Natsuki’s cheek. The demoness's eyes drooped and her head faltered to the side. He let his yoki move through her body again. It embraced her tired joints, and comforted her anxious heart. “I should kill you,” he intoned firmly. “You would deserve every ounce of pain I gave you. I would have bound myself to you after her death,” he said as Natsuki slept against him. “We should move them,” Sesshomaru told his mother.

“No,” she replied firmly. Her long slender fingers brushed waves through Yuki’s white silky hair. “He is meticulously setting a trap. Let him. When he springs it, I will deal with him.”

“You suggest I leave her in danger?” he nearly yelled at his mother.

“That is exactly what I suggest,” she sharply said. “Your human is not helpless, and you will leave Hisato and Hideyoshi here.”

“They lack the power to stand against him. His Halberd is nearly as strong as Bakusaiga,” the tips of his fingers danced along the pearled hilt, “Do you know where he is?”

“No, he took residence in my home after Yuki was born to recover from the injuries he sustained, then left years later. Hisato has been in his company from before then, keeping an eye on him. I knew Touma would do something foolish like this again.” She gave Hisato a look that warned him to say nothing.

“You put my children at risk, all of them,” the words did not come lightly.

“Natsuki will return to my home,” Gobodo-sama said, “and you will continue to protect your lands.”

“Is there a point in keeping them now?” He stared at the straw roof of the hut.

“Are you forlorn, Sesshomaru? Your father would be proud, and one day when your human dies, your children will still need a safe place to call home,” her fingers continued to thread through Yuki’s hair.

He nodded his head, and touched his chest. It was the oddest sensation to feel so empty and so full at the same time. “How will you ensure Yuki, Harutoga, and Taiyomaru do not pay the price for this plan of yours?”

“I have objects called moonstones in my home. They are meant to link Inu-yokai parents to their children when they are separated for long periods of time.”

“The stone I had for Inuyasha?” Sesshomaru ground his teeth.

“Yes,” she answered. “You will know when they are in danger.”

“Hisato, if he calls for you again, you will tell me,” Sesshomaru dug his nails into the wooden floorboards.

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama,” Hisato rubbed his face. This was too much, even for him.

“Is it safe to move the child now?” Sesshomaru asked his mother. His fingers ran along the face of his new child.

“Yes,” she rose from her place on the ground, “she has a room in my castle. I will show it to you. Give me Tsukimaru,” she knelt down and picked up her white haired grandchild.

Sesshomaru stood up. He crouched down and picked up Natsuki in his arms. She reminded him of what Rin looked like at this age sleeping. Her bottom lip pouted out slightly, her hair fell over his shoulders. Sesshomaru trailed after his mother as she flew into the sky carrying his fourth child. He tried to ignore the anger boiling in his belly. Touma, his idiotic five hundred year old brother, the same one who had threatened Rin’s life when she was pregnant with Yuki, the one he let live because he felt compassion for his mother. It would not happen again.

The clouds seemed to stare at him. _It’s not you that should be in my arms,_ he thought as he carried Natsuki. Yet somehow she felt like she belonged there. Gobodo-sama opened the outside door to her floating castle and motioned Sesshomaru in. “Put her in the bed. I have an old cradle, I’ll bring it for her.”

“He’s been here,” Sesshomaru hoisted his burden onto his knee. He folded down the blankets and put Natsuki in the bed, covering her up to her shoulders and allowed his hand to caress her cheek.

“I smell him too, he isn’t here now,” Gobodo-sama stood by the hallway door. “I’m sorry that it happened this way. It wasn’t my intention when I found her.”

Sesshomaru stood up. He was stopped by Natsuki reaching a hand out to him. “Please don’t go.”

He felt her pulling at him again, begging him silently to stay with her. “Leave us, mother,” he glared at her. She shut the door. “Rest.” He moved to stand again.

“Please, Sesshomaru,” she grabbed his wrist again, “please stay?”

“No,” he removed her hand from his. “Where did you meet him? Touma?”

“Here, in the castle, and once by the barrier near your home, he…” she covered her eyes, “I am stupid, I’m so sorry.”

“Tears?” He laughed joylessly. “Did your nose tell you nothing of his character? The words he said?”

She shook her head, splashing the blankets with the rainfall from her eyes.

“Did your parents teach you nothing about detecting lies? Trickery?” his voice was raising. He felt her reaching out to calm him again. “Stop,” he grabbed her wrists and pushed her down. “Do not try to calm this Sesshomaru, do you have any idea what you did?”

Gobodo-sama returned with a bassinet, with Tsukimaru inside. She pushed it next to Natsuki’s bed then immediately left the room. Sesshomaru sighed heavily. She was still trying to wrap him in her yoki, coax him into bed with her. “Are you in pain anywhere?” He sat down.

She nodded and wiped her golden eyes. Her cheeks flushed red.

He moved closer to Natsuki, he set her right hand over his heart, his right hand over hers and rested his moon against hers. He let his yoki rise up again until he found her pain, “this pain will come and go,” he eased her center where the child had come from. “I will send food for you. Eat, and rest. Do not approach her again or step foot in my home. If you do,” he picked up her chin with the claw of his index finger and gave it a good shake, “I will let Sato kill you, or Hisato, or Hideyoshi. This Sesshomaru will provide you no protection. Do you understand?”

She nodded sadly.

“This is not how it was meant to be,” he turned his back on her, “if Touma approaches you again, you will tell me.” _For now, I hunt._ He leapt out the door into the sky. For a time he let the wind beat at him, like he was human, as if he couldn’t fly. He closed his eyes and the wind whipped at his clothes. He let the adrenaline of free falling pump through him until he could hear the ground approaching, and pulled up just before he crashed into it. _Touma…I will find you and kill you._

* * *

As the night wore on, Higan returned to his boat by the ocean while Rin rose from her place, wet and cold to return home. Halfway down the bayside Hisato exited from the deep, green shrubs. “Your heart is heavy.”

“Not you too.” She strides faster to avoid the cold and get away from Hisato. “After that? After what I had to watch? Seeing them together?”

“Did you honestly expect him to abandon his child? The pureblooded, will die if the father is not there to take the pain. Natsuki and the baby would have died. I never pegged your heart to be so cold.” He twined his arm around her waist, loosing his mokomoko from his shoulders. To warp around her. “Your skin is getting hot.”

“I don’t feel good,” she said, her nose beginning to pinch and feel heavy with pressure. “She would have died?” 

“A painful death. Can you fault him for stopping it? Would you honor a man that abandons his offspring.”

“Stop making sense Hisato...please? I can’t,” but she knew he was right. The youkai she had spent the last ten years loving was loyal to a fault, proud of the children he had fathered, a passionate lover and no, he would not abandon the child he created, even the way it was. “What happens now? Are they gone?”

“They’re gone.” Hisato rubs her hands in his palms as they make it over a boulder. “Rin-sama...you have a fever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY...how many people guessed that about Hisato???
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT/KUDO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!


	13. Fever and Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin becomes ill after helping deliver Natsuki's baby, then later Sesshomaru asks for forgiveness, can they reconcile.
> 
> This chapter was beta'd by the awesome Laureninthesky thank you!!!

Yuki carried a bucket brimming with water from the river that was a mile from their home. She carried it in her hands, instead of on her head like the other girls she saw fetching water. It hurt her ears to carry it that way. Sometimes, the girls made it as far as the river she was near. Rin asked her to wear a handkerchief over her head to cover her ears when she went out in public. Yuki hated it, the handkerchief squished them and muffled her hearing. She sloshed the water, getting her legs wet and cold as she made it back to her hut. 

The forest was strange here, not like the forest near her other home. She was still adjusting to the idea that she had two homes now, and it didn’t seem like that would change any time soon. The forest there had smooth grounds that were almost always covered in harsh nettles. Here, the forest floor was covered with thick roots and big rocks with a constant moist layer of moss and dew. She had to step carefully. “Dammit,” she tripped over a larger root and hit her chin against the rock. She touched her chin searching for blood. “I know you’re there Chichiue, you might as well come out.”

Sesshomaru leapt down from one of the trees. “That’s the third bucket of water you have spilled.”

“It’s not my fault.” Yuki grumbled standing up, her kimono was covered in mud and dirt. “Ka-san is sick. She has a fever. I’ll get Haru, he can go with you this time.”

Sesshomaru knelt down and picked up his daughter’s chin. He tickled the red scratch. “What kind of sick?” he asked face wrinkled in concern.

“Cough, fever. It sounds like she is having a hard time breathing. She got too cold when Tsukimaru was born and I already scared off that weird fisherman that keeps coming by. I don’t like Higan-san,” she told Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru tried not to chuckle. He picked up the water and carried it in one hand. “Get on my back.”

Yuki scrambled up his shoulders and held onto the spikes of his armor while he flew into the air with the bucket of water. “I need herbs, there is a woman that sells them in the village but Ka-san won’t let me go alone. They don’t like Yokai there, and I stand out.”

“Quiet,” Sesshomaru instructed Yuki. He could hear Rin struggling just beyond. He heard her whip, the sound of falling ogres. He cursed and flew faster. When he landed, Rin had felled two of the four attacking her hut. Hisato was on the third one and Hideyoshi on the fourth. She was so attractive fighting. Her yukata had come apart around her chest, revealing the sides of her breasts and her ripped stomach. He licked his lips. He missed tasting her skin.

“Stop!” Rin yelled at her guards. She coughed nearly doubling over, she flipped the sword in her hand. “They’re mine.” She ran at them in a simple white yukata. She slammed her sword into the neck of one. She scrambled up a tree, and flung the blade into the stomach of the last one. She coughed, covered in sweat with the stench of sickness on her. Once the last one was down, Rin fell onto her knees coughing. “I don’t need your help,” she slapped at Hisato’s outstretched hand.

Hisato grumbled, stood up and walked away.

Sesshomaru set Yuki down and walked with the bucket in his hand towards the hut.

“I thought we agreed you would let them come to you.” Rin tried to stand up only to fall down. Her world blurred momentarily. She held her aching head in one hand.

Sesshomaru pushed the bucket into Hideyoshi’s hand. “Carry that inside.” He grabbed Rin around the waist and carried her kicking and screaming bridal style into the hut. He set her down, shivering with fever onto her furs. He took a clean cloth and dipped it into the bucket of water. He attempted to set it on Rin’s forehead only for her to slap his hands away.

“I told you not to touch me, ever again.” She turned on her side. “Get out.”

Yuki’s eyes were wide in shock. No one had the guts to treat her father like that. “It’s fine Chichiue. I can take care of her.”

Sesshomaru pulled Yuki out of the hut. “Which herbs does she need?”

“I don’t know,” Yuki answered, “I’m no good with herbs.” She scratched her toe claws against the wooden porch with her hands on her hips.

“Go ask Ka-san,” he stopped Yuki by the shoulder. “Do not say I asked.”

“I’m not allowed to go to the village myself.” Yuki removed the rag off her forehead.

“I’ll go with you,” Sesshomaru told her.

“Then everyone will know I’m a hanyou, if my hair and eyes don’t give it away. I hate it here! I want to go home! Why do people hate me so much? No one will be my friend here.” She wiped her eyes, sick of her parents fighting with each other.

Sesshomaru knelt on one knee. “Remember it is my fault, not Ka-san’s. Now go ask which herbs she needs.”

“I should take Hisato, he looks more human than you,” Yuki argued. “Or Higan-san. He is mostly human,” Yuki sighed. “Why can’t you two just forgive each other? You’re being so mean.”

“Go ask now, you will be punished if I ask it again,” he pushed Yuki back into the hut. She walked slowly. She dipped the cloth in water, wrung it out and put it on her mother’s forehead. “Ka-san, which herbs will help with your cold? You have a fever, you haven’t eaten in a day.”

“It’s fine, Yuki. Did he ask you to ask me?” Rin faced away from the door flap.

Yuki looked out the entrance then back at her mother, then at her father, not sure who she was about to lie to. “No,” she tried to sound like she wasn’t fibbing through her teeth. “Please Ka-san, let me get something to help with the fever? You’ve been sick since Tsuki….since it rained really hard.” She was learning quickly what would set her mother’s temper off at her father.

“Feverfew, eucalyptus, lavender” Rin started coughing again. The sound shook the whole hut. “Don’t go alone.”

Yuki walked out of the hut. “Did you hear?” she asked her father.

“Come,” Sesshomaru held out his hand. “Where is Harutoga?”

“With Higan-san. He’s teaching Haru to fish,” she held her father’s hand tightly.

“He hates fish,” Sesshomaru sniffed the air, damn ocean was blocking him getting a better smell of this man who seemed to spend too much time with Rin.

“He likes fishing. It’s like hunting, only stupider.” Yuki rolled her eyes. “This way. She hasn’t eaten either.”

“She needs soup,” Sesshomaru hiked through the forest following Yuki. He prepared himself for what she would face. “Does Ka-san make you cover your ears?”

“Yes, she thinks it helps people think I’m normal. It doesn’t though, I still have stripes on my face,” she touched her cheek. “I grew my bangs out so you can’t see my forehead. But it doesn’t matter. It’s not safe for me and Haru to go to the village alone, they don’t like hanyous. She won’t let us tell them who you are either.”

He followed her quietly, _they shouldn’t have to hide who they are._ “Buy vegetables for Ka-san,” he handed Yuki extra coins.

“You’re not coming?” Yuki asked when they reached the village. The villagers stopped milling about the market and stared at him. He strode proudly forward as he had in the past when he needed supplies for Rin. The sea of people parted for he and Yuki. As they walked, all eyes were on them, mouths open, hearts racing. He followed Yuki to a Healer who was selling herbs. “My mother is sick,” she told the town Healer, “she said she needs feverfew, eucalyptus and lavender.”

“Is this your father little hanyou?” The old wrinkled woman gazed at Sesshomaru.

Yuki smiled. “Yes,” she held her father’s hand.

“What’s his name?” The woman’s voice was thin and rail like.

Yuki glanced at her father. He nodded his head. “Sesshomaru, Lord of the Middle Lands,” she boasted proudly.

“The same Sesshomaru who wars regularly with the ogres?” The old woman handed Yuki the herbs.

“Yep,” she answered, “he’s undefeated. No one is as strong as my Chichiue.”

“If this village provides protection to my children, this Sesshomaru will protect this village,” he allowed his voice to rise.

“I like the sound of that. I will tell the village elders. Here,” the old woman hobbled into the back of her hut. She came out with a clay bowl wrapped in a cloth full of something steaming. “This is squash soup, it has extra garlic. It’s good for when you are sick. She can keep the bowl, no charge, Sesshomaru-sama.”

“We thank you,” he replied curtly, “come, Yuki.”

“Yuki, such a pretty name,” the old woman said as she moved her herbs around in her stand.

“Ka-san said I couldn’t say my name!” Yuki rebuked him. She held the jars of herbs awkwardly in her little hands.

“They know who your father is Yuki, they will no longer treat you with disrespect. Come, Ka-san needs us.”

“Me, she doesn’t want you around.” Yuki covered her mouth with her hand. “Sorry,” She walked with her father. He held the soup in his hand, his steps so sure he didn’t spill a drop.

He sighed., Iit was true, she didn’t want anything to do with him.

When they arrived, Harutoga had returned with a score of fish. Sesshomaru did not see the strange man named Higan, that everyone kept talking about. The smell was still faint. He attempted sniffing Harutoga to get a better sense of who this person was, but Harutoga’s clothes had been sprayed by ocean water, already rinsing the smells away. _Dammit_ , he didn’t like that someone was paying so much attention to Rin and that she seemed to be enjoying it. Hisato and Hideyoshi were busying themselves getting rid of the bodies of the ogres.

Sesshomaru handed Yuki the soup after she set the herbs down, “not that I know how to prepare these.”

“Shh!” Harutoga hushed Yuki. “She’s sleeping, and so is Taiyomaru for once.”

“Harutoga, bring me the baby,” Sesshomaru instructed his middle son. Harutoga picked up his little brother and brought him to his father. “The fire is dying down, we need to light it again.” He wrapped Taiyomaru in his mokomoko.

“You know how to light a fire?” Yuki started laughing, incredulous that her father would know how to do something so domestic.

“Shh!” Harutoga held a finger to his mouth again.

“Where’s the fire bow?” Sesshomaru asked.

“She doesn’t want you in here,” Yuki protested.

Sesshomaru glared at Yuki, “she will not know, you will say nothing.” He looped Taiyomaru in his mokomoko. He called over Hideyoshi and Hisato, “why does no one tend her?”

“We’re guards, not maidservants,” Hideyoshi answered harshly.

“You will cut firewood for her and ensure the fire stays lit,” Sesshomaru barked at Hideyoshi, “and you, my children will not be alone with this Higan,” he said to Hisato.

“I don’t have control over…I’ll try to impress that upon Rin…Rin-sama, forgive me Sesshomaru-sama. I’ll go build her fire.” He ran into the hut.

Sesshomaru set the stone bowl next to the fire to stay warm while Rin slept. He set his hand over Rin’s forehead, _you’re burning up, my heart, why won’t you let me tend you?_ He pushed the heaviness from his heart. He took out the herbs, he had seen Rin make them for his children. “Where are the mortar and the pestle?” He was grateful the children’s hearing was nearly as keen as his own. He didn’t need to speak loudly for them to hear.

“The eucalyptus is for her chest.” Yuki handed him the stone bowl. “Do you know what you are doing?”

“Do you think Chichiue learned nothing from Ka-san in the last twenty years?” He dumped the contents of the eucalyptus into the bowl and crushed it into a paste. He combined it with hot water from their fire, and then cooler water to make it warm. He opened Rin’s yukata enough to rub it on her chest.

Her reflexes were still sharp. Her hands grabbed at his wrists the moment they touched her. “Get out,” she coughed again.

“You are not well enough to care for our children. Unless you want me to pick you up kicking and screaming and drag you home, then you will let this Sesshomaru help you.” He rubbed the bitter smelling herb across her chest, up to her collar bone, then closed her yukata. 

“Fine.” Rin picked up a cloth to wipe her nose.

Yuki and Harutoga laughed to themselves. Yuki boiled the other herbs in a tea for Rin to drink. She set it by her mother. “This will help with the fever.”

“Get out,” she said to Sesshomaru again.

“Why can’t he stay?” Yuki asked, “please? Can he stay for dinner? Can we have dinner together like we used to, just once please? You can hate each other afterwards.”

“I think only Ka-san hates Chichiue,” Harutoga sat down next to his mother. He removed the dried cloth from her head and soaked it in the river water again. He wrung it out and set it on her head.

“Fine,” Rin conceded. “I will get up soon to prepare something.”

“I’ll do it.” Yuki stood up. “I’ll go find some rabbit, or something from the forest, you rest.”

“I’ll go too,” Harutoga ran out of the hut with his sister.

Sesshomaru sat in the corner of the hut quietly talking to Taiyomaru. Rin glared at him. “Will you never forgive me, Rin?”

“No, I won’t,” she rolled over so she didn’t have to face him, “I don’t forgive selfish carnal beings who only care about themselves. I’m allowing you to stay for their sake.”

“You allow me nothing,” he growled back at her, “and I am not selfish or carnal.”

“Yes you are, arrogant, stubborn, selfish, carnal and stupid,” she started coughing again. She heard low rumbles behind her. “Make all the noise you want, this isn’t your home. If you were human I would throw you out the door myself.”

“If you were yokai I would show you your place,” he snapped back at her.

“You wouldn’t be able to, if I were yokai this wouldn’t have happened, you would have been happy with what you had!” she screamed at him. “I hate you!”

“Perhaps I should leave,” he stood up sadly. “I was happy with what I had.”

“Shut up,” Rin tried to force her tears back, her lips started shaking, she coughed through her tears, “please just leave. Please.”

“I’ll accompany the children in the forest, you should-”

“Don’t tell me what I should do,” she tried to wipe her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “Send Yuki with Taiyo when he is hungry.”

“Taiyomaru,” he corrected her.

“Taiyo,” she said stubbornly. “I named him after the father he doesn’t deserve. Now get out.”

“One day, you will regret these words you speak,” he bit back at her. He slammed the door flap open and flew into the forest.

“No I won’t, ass,” Rin curled into herself. She pulled her furs back over her shoulder.

* * *

Sesshomaru followed the children into the forest. He landed in a high branch. The children had missed months of training now. Harutoga’s nose was getting sharper but he had yet to grasp the damage he could do with his claws or with his whip. The two were together. Sesshomaru wished Yuki wouldn’t carry Harutoga around so much on her back. He needed to learn to stalk quietly, to avoid making noise. Yuki set Harutoga down behind the trunk of a camaphor tree. She pointed to her nose and smiled. He nodded and stalked forward. Sesshomaru smelled the air. His eyes widened in shock, and he leaned forward in the tree. His eyes tracked to a crop of bushes in the thick forest. There was a fawun nibbling at dried leaves by itself. He knew they could catch rabbits on their own, but a fawun would be a difficult catch.

Yuki gave Harutoga’s shoulders a push forward. Sesshomaru felt a gust of wind pass by.next to him. His mother perched next to him. He motioned for her to be quiet. Her fangs peeked out of the corners of her mouth as she smiled in anticipation.

Harutoga moved forward on his own. Yuki crouched down from the bushes, a hopeful look on her face. She quietly parted some tall grass without making a sound. Harutoga leapt over a log, he landed on all fours. He crawled forward on his hands and knees until he was several meters from his prey.

He sensed another rush of much weaker yoki coming towards them. He flicked his whip down at Hideyoshi who hovered beneath the trees. The white haired dog demon glanced up at the two perched in the trees. Sesshomaru waved him away. Gobodo-sama tapped her son’s shoulder. Even she was impressed they were going after a fawun. She motioned at Harutoga to Sesshomaru.

The boy had a nervous look on his face. He stared at his hand as if questioning whether or not he would be able to complete his task. He looked back at Yuki, she gave him a big smile and two thumbs up. _You can do it Harutoga,_ Sesshomaru’s teeth clamped in anticipation. _You can do it._

Harutoga crept behind a rock that was just feet from the doe. His little chest puffed in as he breathed in deeply, he leapt over the rock, flicked his wrist, sending the largest whip Sesshomaru had ever seen before around the fawun’s neck. He yanked it back, severing the head of the small deer, spilling fresh blood on the forest floor. “I did it! Yuki, did you see me?” Harutoga jumped up and down. He ran over to his prey and lifted the body up, he dipped his finger in the blood and licked it., “Ddon’t tell Ka-san.”

Yuki ran from the bushes and hugged her brother, “good job.” She sniffed the air, “Chichiue? Soba-sama?”

They both jumped down from their branches.

“Chichiue, did you see me? Did you see it?” Harutoga scooped up a handful of blood and drank it., “Ddon’t tell Ka-san, she doesn’t like when we drink their blood.”

“I like it too,” Sesshomaru knelt down by his son and held his shoulders, “your whip has grown. Your steps are quieter.”

“Yuki’s been teaching me,” Harutoga took a raw piece of flesh from the neck.

“Very good Yuki.” Gobodo-sama lightly tapped her grand-daughter’s nose. “You remembered your father’s lessons well. Sesshomaru, I brought them.” She handed him a white box.

He opened it, and ran his index finger over the onyx stones. He removed the first one. “Yuki, sit with me.” He sat down cross-legged on the forest floor away from the carcass and patted the ground next to him.

Yuki sat down next to him. He placed the moonstone around Yuki’s neck. “This will tell me, if you are ever in danger. We bind both of our yokis within the stone. I will do it first, you will observe and learn.”

She nodded.

He held the stone in the tips of his thumb and first two fingers. He focused his yoki into the stone. It entered as emerald green energy, leaving a slight light behind. “Your turn. Hold the stone in your hand.”

“Okay,” she wiggled to get off a root she was sitting on. She focused her yoki into the stone, and it lit up white and warm in her fingers. She grinned, holding the warmed black stone in her hand.

“Go take the fawun back to your hut. Hisato or Hideyoshi will prepare it,” Sesshomaru told her.

“Yes Chichiue,” she picked up what was left of the fawun’s body and threw it over her shoulders.

“Harutoga, come child, sit with Chichiue,” Gobodo-sama motioned him over. “Look how strong you are becoming.” She squeezed the muscles of his arms.

“I killed it all by myself!” he congratulated himself again. He sat down next to his father. “I’m not a girl.” He pushed back his father’s hands holding the necklace.

Sesshomaru chuckled, “no, you are my son.” He nuzzled his nose. “You can put it in your pocket when we are done. I have already put my yoki inside, now you must put yours in.”

“How?” Harutoga asked.

“You didn’t watch?” Sesshomaru asked him.

“Was I supposed to?” Harutoga scratched his nose.

Sesshomaru let it go. In the past Harutoga would have suffered consequences, but things were so different now. He took Harutoga’s hand and wrapped the child’s fingers around the black stone. “Feel your yoki.”

“Did you see how long my whip was?” Harutoga fidgeted.

“Focus,” Sesshomaru gave him a little shake. “It was much longer than the last time I saw it. Focus, feel your yoki.”

“I took its head off by myself!” Harutoga rolled the stone between his hands like a stick.

Gobodo-sama covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. Harutoga’s only interest was in the fawun he had just dispatched.

“Harutoga!” Sesshomaru raised his voice, “find your yoki, now.”

“Oh, sorry.” The little boy looked at his father as his yoki rose.

“Direct it into the stone,” Sesshomaru instructed him. The white flash lit up the onyx stone. “Do not lose it,” he picked his son up. “I am very proud of you.”

“Can you teach me to get one of the bigger ones next?” Harutoga hugged his father’s neck.

“Yes.” Sesshomaru answered proudly. “Return, Harutoga.” He gave his son a pat on the head.

“Have you found him?” He turned to his mother.

She had been quiet on the subject and he still was uncomfortable with using Rin as bait for Touma. “No,” she growled. “He has hidden himself well.”

He wanted to punch something, “Mother, go. She won’t want to see you.”

“There is someone I wish to see, while you are here.” She rubbed her chest. “All this time in your service, it’s getting ragged.”

Hisato stood in the distance deeper in the forest. He held his hand out, inviting her to him.

Sesshomaru felt a flash of jealousy. He wanted to be with Rin again. He wanted to hold her., Bbond or no bond, he felt like part of his soul was missing. There were now four presences inside his head. One of them, he was trying very hard to ignore. It seemed that since she had their child, Natsuki wanted to see him more desperately. He felt his own need beginning to stir, he had hoped he had longer, or that it would dissipate when Tsukimaru was born. He couldn’t blame her, if they had approached each other any other way, or he had held himself back in the least, this wouldn’t have happened. Even that thought made him fill with guilt. He wouldn’t take back the tiny child she gave him, but perhaps he could have kept his sin hidden from Rin longer. His heart still ached with the emptiness where Rin was supposed to be. He knew she still missed him. He watched their hut at night, while they slept.

* * *

He remained hidden in the forest for the duration of Rin’s illness. He kept his presence to himself, masked his scent so the children wouldn’t give him away. There were many nights, Rin left the hut alone when the baby slept and cried on the beach. Once he heard his name and dared to come out of his hiding place. There were so many “tricks” he was aware of, that he never felt the need to usedo in the past. They were as beneath him as dream trances. This one involved making himself invisible to the human eye, but making his presence felt.

As Rin sat by the ocean, shivering from the cold, crying, he approached her quietly, masking his yoki, his scent and his visible presence. He sat down behind her, Rin between his legs. He pulled her to his chest and rested his mouth by the pulse of her neck. He let his yoki thread slightly into her mind, she would think it was a dream or the wind wrapping its arms around her. Not him. “I still love you,” he whispered although he knew she wouldn’t be able to hear it. Her body felt warm, inviting, heated and home. She wrapped her arms around his wrist and cried into his shoulder. He could smell another man on her., Tthe scent was strange, foreign and still caused him upset. Whoever it was had the aroma of the ocean, the spray of salt in the air, the warmth of summer. “Whoever he is, I hope he loves you as much as I do,” he meant those words. He couldn’t make out a full smell, in this home by the ocean, all scents were quickly washed away. Higan never seemed to be around when Sesshomaru was. Rin probably sent him away the moment she felt his yoki near.

He rocked with Rin in his arms, until her tears stopped and she stood up when Taiyomaru began to whine for food.

* * *

Two weeks after Tsukimaru was born Sesshomaru arrived to visit the children again. This time he landed with Aun and Jaken. Aun was laden with boxes and bags. Jaken was both angry and happy to see Rin. Sesshomaru immediately left to the forest knowing the children would follow. Jaken attempted to lecture her about leaving Sesshomaru, “after everything he did for you,” he grumbled as he pulled packages off of Aun.

“Shut up.” Rin grabbed Nintojo from him. “Unless, you want me to fry you?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. Sesshomaru has requested that I stay here with you, Rin. If you’ll have me?” he asked shyly. “Aun as well.” The double headed dragon brayed as he dipped his heads down into the ocean water and splashed.

A large smile spread across her face. It would be nice to have help again. Jaken also produced a pomegranate sized green bag of coins. He could barely pick it up as he passed it to Rin. “Sesshomaru-sama would prefer if his children wore nice clothing, also,” he motioned to several boxes that Aun had been carrying, “youryou’re spring clothes from home…from his home,” Jaken quickly corrected himself.

Rin shrugged her shoulders, and sighed, “it would be easier if he stopped trying to make me like him.”

“You were friends once, Rin. Don’t you remember the time when you were fifteen, after that idiotic stunt where you kissed him, when you spent the day flying together?” Jaken carried another box into the hut and returned to Rin’s side. The beach was windy that day, the waves crashed against the shore.

“After I delivered that set of twins,” Rin laughed. “I was so tired. I asked him what it was like to fly.”

“And he was confused because you had ridden Aun so many times, you wanted to fly yourself. Feel your body in the air? He took you up and let you jump and caught you, and took you up, and dropped you over and over?” He hoped mentioning the good times would soften her heart. He had never seen this side of Rin, the anger, the stone coldness. Sesshomaru warned him that the Rin they knew and loved wasn’t there. She was replaced by an angrier, spiteful one.

“I remember,” Rin smiled.

“Ka-san!” Yuki came running up to Rin from the hut. 

Rin was nursing Taiyomaru as she brought in the boxes that Jaken had left. Some of them contained the children’s clothes, the sandals they never wore, some of their blankets and proper futons for them to sleep on. She wore a bright pink kimono with yellow petals that looked like they were swirling in the wind. She had a matching obi and her wrists were adorned with all her bracelets that she had worn before. “Chichiue wants to know if we can go home for a week…he said the borders are stable for now, can we go?”

“I guess,” Rin answered. The hut was quiet when they were gone, but she no longer had the heart to refuse him longer visits with the children she had kept from him.

“He wants to know if I can bring Taiyo for a little bit, can I? Is he eating?” Yuki peered over the material of her mother’s kimono.

“He’s done. He fell asleep.” She took him off and helped tie the sash to Yuki. “Go get a cloth from the house, he’ll need to be changed when he wakes up.”

“Yes Ka-san,” Yuki replied quietly and trotted off to the hut then back into the forest.

“It does his heart good to see his children,” Jaken helped Rin carry in the last of the packages. “He also requested you get your roof properly patched so when the summer rains come the children stay dry.”

“Is that why he sent all these coins?”

“And…he doesn’t like that he still smells the lingering scent of another male,” Jaken scurried past Rin.

“That’s none of his business, if he can be with another woman, it shouldn’t matter what I do. Tand the bond is broken, why is he still jealous?”

“Because he still loves you,” _although he would smack this Jaken now if he heard me saying it._

Rin slammed the boxes on the ground kicking up dust from the floorboards. “Does his royal highness have any other requests?”

“That you be happy,” Jaken demurred, “this Jaken would like to see you happy again too. I missed you, Rin.”

“I missed you too, Jaken,” she knelt down and hugged the little green imp. The moment their bodies connected a flood of tears poured from her eyes. “How could he do this to me? I gave him everything, my first kiss, my first hug, my life, everything.”

Jaken wiped her eyes with thin bony fingers. “He didn’t want to. He knows he betrayed you.”

“It doesn’t make sense., Hhe could resist me. Why couldn’t he resist her?” Rin’s mind went back to that night by the lake in Kaede’s village. He grabbed her and kissed her like she had never been kissed, touched her like she never had been touched and then walked away and stayed away.

“It’s different, when it’s one yokai with another. Their auras attract each other.” Jaken stroked her hair. “Perhaps you could forgive him.”

“I can’t,” she shook against his shoulder.

“Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to take him back.” He took her hands and placed them against her heart. “It means this stops hurting, and your children don’t feel like they have to choose between you.”

“I don’t know how, Jaken, I don’t.” She covered her eyes with her hands. “I miss the way he used to hold me at night. The things he said, how he made me feel loved. How do I let that go?”

“I don’t know, Rin. Besides him, I am the only one that knew you from when you were a child. And I think that little girl that used to follow Sesshomaru-sama around still wants to be happy.”

Rin sighed wiping her tears. “Perhaps.”

“Like it or not, you two have children together. For the remainder of your life, he will come to be with them. It would be easier for everyone if there was less anger.”

“Did he tell you to say that?”

“Yes,” Jaken admitted with a smile. “You’re hurting his feelings with your words. He knows what he did was wrong, you don’t need to rub it in. Especially in front of his children.”

“Fine…” Rin wiped her tears and began unpacking the boxes. “Where does he think I am going to put all this?”

“We’ll find space, remember how we had to find space in Kaede’s hut?” Jaken burst out laughing.

“We had to extend the hut,” Rin sighed.

“He wants to talk to you,” Jaken said lightly with his hands folded.

“Why?” Rin stopped what she was doing.

“To make peace, nothing more,” Jaken told her.

Rin groaned, as she opened one of the boxes with her name written on it. “He sent my clothes?” She held up one of her silk turquoise kimonos. “This one was my favorite.”

“I know, that’s why he packed it. He wants to make sure you are also warm enough. He didn’t like seeing you sick, or that the children had to tend to you,” Jaken’s spoke quietly, almost mournfully. “Talk to him.”

Rin stood up and walked out of her hut towards the forest. She closed her eyes, he did nothing to hide his presence. He didn’t turn his yoki inward. They were near the river. She hiked half a mile into the gnarled forest. She climbed over a rock and decided to sit down. “Sesshomaru?” she called into the forest. She knew from this distance he would be able to hear her. She crossed her legs and waited for that rush to come, the whoosh of him landing.

After a few minutes it happened, she felt the brush of air next to her and then two familiar black shoes. He said nothing, just stared down at Rin.

“Jaken said you wanted to talk?” Rin patted the other side of the rock she sat on.

He sat down, folding his legs similar to hers. “Are you well now?”

“Yes,” Rin felt much better. “I know you were in the forest the entire time I was sick. Thank you.” She fumbled with the hem of her kimono by her feet. “What do you want?”

“To talk,” he said.

“Okay…about what?” Rin was beginning to feel annoyed. “Just say it.”

“I’m sorry,” he turned his eyes away to avoid her gaze, “for hurting you.”

“Okay, is that all?” She went to stand.

“No,” he turned back to her. He had hoped to get more out of her than a few words. His words hit the mark, her scent spiked, she was holding back tears. He hated seeing her sad. “I…would like to talk.”

“We talked.” Rin glanced at him confused. “About what?”

“Once we were friends,” he tried to scoot closer to her.

She moved away from him.

“Can we try again, to be friends?” Sesshomaru asked her.

“Friends?” Rin scoffed. “We have children together Sesshomaru, we lived a life together. How can we ever just be friends? The last time we were just friends I was thirteen and I spent three years after that waiting for you to decide what you wanted and when I moved on, you came at me like a wild animal. You ruined what I had with Kohaku.”

“Was your life with me so terrible?” he asked her.

“No,” she wiped her eyes, “it wasn’t. We were so…”

“Happy?”

“Yes. Maybe one day, we can be friends, Sesshomaru, but not now. Now I don’t know what you are to me. You have her now. You’ll bring them back in a week?”

“Yes.” He stood up. “You still doubt my honesty?”

“You hid her from me. I asked you what was wrong, you said nothing. You told Hisato and your mother not to tell me about her.” She turned around. “Why should I believe you? You’re more powerful than me, you could take them easily and I couldn’t do anything to stop you.”

He sighed and removed Taiyomaru from his mokomoko. The infant was already stirring. “We’ll return in a week. I wish to spend more time with Taiyomaru,” he said curtly, turning to the forest. “I miss you,” he said almost too quietly for her ears to hear.

“Our bond is broken,” she reminded him.

“My love for you was not,” he kept his back to her. He cuddled his son into his chest, rocking him back and forth.

“I’m seeing someone else,” she told Sesshomaru. “And he makes me happy.”

He felt his heart plummet to his feet. He closed his eyes and stilled his breathing. “I wish to meet this Higan.”

“You don’t need to, not now.” Rin started walking away from him.

“You plan to stay here? Indefinitely?” he called over his shoulder.

“For now,” she folded her arms around herself.

“Will you marry him?” He felt a lump in his throat.

“I don’t know. I respected your wishes. He hasn’t been alone with the children since you asked,” she sighed. He wanted to talk, this wasn’t the kind of talk she wanted to have.

“Rin.” He held her hand. “I am sorry.”

“I know.” She pursed her lips, trying to smile. “You had no choice. But I’m human and I do. You never gave me the chance to explore other relationships, to be with someone else. Maybe this is my chance, to know what it’s like to have a human relationship.”

“Something I could never give you.” He shook his head. “You aren’t doing this to spite this Sesshomaru?”

“No, I’m doing this for me. I don’t know. It happened so fast between us, then there was Yuki, and Harutoga, and then,” she suddenly felt guilty. Her hand went to her left shoulder blade. It touched the scar left behind from the child they had lost. “I almost forgot. And Taiyomaru.”

“Do you love him?” his words were laced in pain.

“It wouldn’t matter if I did, it’s none of your business anymore Sesshomaru. I should have told you that, that night with Kohaku. You reacted because you were jealous, and trying to be an alpha-male. You should have just let me be with him, instead of…”

He shook his head again. “You regret it? All of it? You said we were happy. If she hadn’t come that night, the night Taiyomaru was born and the day of his celebration,” Sesshomaru persisted, “would you be saying this?”

“It doesn’t matter, it happened,” Rin said. “Did you know she was pregnant then?”

“I sensed it,” he said softly.

“You could never sense my pregnancies.” She felt jealous again.

“The yoki is stronger.” He didn’t like the direction the conversation was going.

“Go to your children, Sesshomaru, I have things to do.” She walked towards her hut.

_Our children,_ he thought. He followed Rin to the hut. “Jaken!” He motioned the imp to follow him until they were under the canopy of the trees and he was sure that Rin would not hear him. “Find out who, this Higan is.”

“Isn’t that why you brought me here?” Jaken smiled. “I will, Sesshomaru-sama.”

“Find out where they meet,” he said, “if she loves him.” He knew he was jealous, flamingly so.

* * *

A week later before Harutoga and Yuki returned, Rin experienced an even greater surprise. She was up in the middle of the night, while the moon was full pacing up and down the sandy beach as the grains slipped between her toes. She was bouncing Taiyomaru up and down in a desperate effort to stop his cries, when a whoosh of air brushed past her, and Natsuki landed with her own screaming baby in front of Rin. It was almost unfair how beautiful the demoness was. Long shimmering silver hair was tied back into a loose braid with free strands that danced across her nose and eyes. She wore many layers of fine silk, red, gold and silver. Her child was wrapped in a deep blue blanket with white dogs embroidered on it. Rin could see the peak of the moon on the white haired child’s forehead. “Do they ever stop crying?” Natsuki walked next to Rin.

Rin struggled at first for words. They were caught in her throat along with the stupor she felt. She dug her toes into the cold damp sand. Her own baby complained fiercely and fought against the cloth that held him to Rin. Natsuki’s struggling, screaming baby made Rin laugh. “Have you tried taking him to his father?”

“It’s the only time he stops.” Natsuki moved the material from her baby’s face. “Is this normal? I…I hope it’s okay I came.?” The pride was gone, all that was left was a young woman trying to cope with the stress of a screaming infant. “I probably shouldn’t have. He told me to stay away from you. I think if we weren’t connected to each other, the look on his face, he would have preferred to just kill me.”

Rin only raised her eyebrows in response. “How is he?” Rin asked cautiously curious. She resumed her course up the beach. 

“I’m not sure.” They strode up and down the beach together, both bouncing their sons in their arms. “I haven’t really seen him. He’s been by twice since Tsukimaru was born, but he refuses to see me. He has his mother or one of the servants take the baby until Tsukimaru is hungry, then leaves.”

“You aren’t staying at-”

“No! He said if I stepped foot there again he would order Sato to take to my head and refuse to save me. I’m not quite sure that is how our bond works, but, I’ve already caused enough damage.” She bounced her baby in her arms.

Rin kicked at the sand, she found herself actually enjoying the late night conversation. _How many times was I up with my other children without another mother to speak to?_ They were practically yelling over the crying babies. “Want to trade?” Rin asked on a whim. “Let me see Tsukimaru.”

They passed their sons to each other. It was almost as if they were twins with different colored hair. Tsukimaru had white hair with double striped cheeks, while Taiyomaru had black hair. They both had adorably cute ears that peaked out from the sides of their heads. Their lips puckered with tiny tongues that stuck out. Tsukimaru was still tiny compared to Taiyomaru who was already filled out and pudgy. Rin gasped in surprise as they held the two boys closer together. Taiyomaru reached out and grasped Tsukimaru’s hand. Taiyomaru grinned a milky spit up smile. “I think they like each other, it would be nice if they don’t grow up hating each other, like Sesshomaru and Inuyasha.” Rin stroked Tsukimaru’s tiny stripes.

“Who is Inuyasha?” Natsuki looked up at Rin.

“Sesshomaru’s other younger brother. A hanyou from his father and a human mother. He was born when Sesshomaru was 700 years old or around there. I think he actually forgot the exact year of his birth. They used to fight all the time, although now, I don’t know., Iit would just be nice if I knew that our children would like each other. I won’t live that long.”

“And I will,” Natsuki sniffed the air, she had to admit that she didn’t quite understand human emotions. It smelled like sorrow, or something similar to it.

“It hurt, what you did,” Rin told her, “a lot, but it’s kind of nice knowing that someone else will be there for him, when I’m gone. I’m already gone. I was always worried he would hold on to my memory and not allow himself to be with someone else.”

“So you wouldn’t mind if I went to him?” Natsuki asked innocently. “What that man can do.”

“I know.” Rin blushed. “He is a very experienced lover.” Rin laughed. “Just don’t tell me. Look, they’re both falling asleep.” Four golden eyes were drifting shut while little hands still grasped each other. “They’re sleeping,” Rin smiled. “Do you want to come in for a while?”

“You’re alright with that?” Natsuki couldn’t believe what Rin was asking.

“Sure, what are the odds they are going to stay asleep if we separate their hands?” Rin chuckled. “Come on. I have some mint tea I want to make, maybe we’ll both get some rest.” Rin led Natsuki to her hut. “Do you like tea?”

“What is tea?” Natsuki asked as they made it through the door flap, awkwardly holding the two infants together so their clawed fingers would stay together.

“It’s boiled water with leaves, Sesshomaru hates it. But you might like it. Come, sit on the furs. Are you still sore?”

Natsuki flushed. “It comes and goes.”

“I have an ointment for that, sit down,” Rin motioned her down. “I would have thought your yoki would heal you.”

“Gobodo-sama said a great deal of yoki is expended birthing a child from the mother and well…not allowing him to be born weakened me. Thank you for what you said. It helped, probably saved both our lives.” She brushed her loosely tied hair out of her face.

Rin smiled, it was all she could do. “Here,” she handed Natsuki the ointment. “This is made from herbs that help yokai. It will work on you. Put it on whenever it hurts. I’ve tried it on Sesshomaru, he refuses to admit it works on him,” she chuckled to herself and turned to the pot of water on the hearth. She ladled out two cups and added mint leaves in a sachetshay. She handed one to Natsuki. “It has a strong smell. Probably more so for you. It will also help with the pain.”

“Thank you,” she wrinkled her nose at the drink. “Don’t tell him I was here.”

“Not a word,” Rin marked an X over her mouth.

**Next...Touma will make his move dun dun dun!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND KUDO PLEASE!!!
> 
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	14. Spring Attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes, Rin continues to make a home for herself away from Sesshomaru. But after a moment of peace between the two, Touma attacks

**Two months later…**

**Spring**

Months passed. Rin created more of a life for herself on the edge of the ocean. In the first weeks after Sesshomaru left with his new child, she continued collecting shells and making necklaces. She hunted rabbits and deer with Harutoga and Yuki and sold their hides. The money provided them enough to buy the food they needed. She hiked into the forest and found a patch of dirt that was supple and rich. It felt like clay in her hands. She spent that day with Higan tilling the soil with four month old Taiyo tied in a sash on her back. He continued to squall the days that Sesshomaru was gone. Therefore Rin always knew when the dog demon made his return; it was as if the infant could sense his father’s presence.

More embraces and kisses passed between Higan and Rin. She found herself opening up more to him, about her life as a child, the death of her family. She told him how she had met Sesshomaru, and how he had cared for her since she was a child. She spoke to him about her life in the village, how she learned about herbs and how to plant vegetables. That was why she was making the new garden. She planned to plant peppers, carrots, parsnips, bok choy and persimmons. She planted seeds for healing herbs that she would use to make ointments. When she felt her body and spirit were in a better place, she began visiting pregnant women and resumed her role as a midwife as she had done when she was a teen in Kaede’s village. Her sword remained at her side at all times.

Occasionally she met a large ogre or some other fiend inside the forest that she dispatched with ease. The tone of her stomach returned, rippled with muscles, and bumps on her arms. Slowly, she felt the pain in her heart healing. Sesshomaru kept his distance when he visited. The children knew his scent. Yuki would ask her mother to tie Taiyomaru to her so she could run into the forest and see him. Yuki loved holding the baby and it seemed only she and Sesshomaru could ever make Taiyomaru stop screaming.

“He’s here,” Harutoga’s nose was up in the air. He loped towards the door out into the forest.

“Harutoga!!” Jaken called after him, “wait!”

“Come on, Jaken,” Yuki grabbed his hand. “Follow me.” Yuki practically picked Jaken up by the arm and dragged him through the forest. Over the logs where she nearly bashed his head into the ground, over large boulders and into the canopy of trees near the river where they had been meeting each time he came. Every other week he took them back to their house in his lands. It made Yuki happy to sleep in her own bed, in her own house instead of a cold hut by the ocean. She jumped over the last large root carrying Jaken with her, then dropped him in a pile of mulched leaves. “Chichiue!” She jumped into his arms.

He embraced both of his children. He handed them small boxes with treats inside. Sweet rice for Harutoga and candies for Yuki. Harutoga broke the rice in half and gave part of it to Yuki. Yuki let her brother choose a few candies for himself.

“Sesshomaru-sama, he’s with Rin now,” Jaken blurted out.

“I knew you sent him to spy,” Yuki bit into the sweet rice. It left a blue ring around her mouth and nose. “She isn’t going to be happy,” she warned her father.

“Nothing he does makes her happy,” Harutoga shot back at Yuki.

“Where?” This habitat, the constantly damp forest, the spray of the ocean and wet environment made it nearly impossible to get a good scent of this man that Rin was with.

“At the village, the one I took you to. She has Taiyo with her,” Yuki said.

“Jaken, watch the children,” he flew into the air towards the village. He meant it when he said he would protect the village. The ogre attacks seemed to only happen while he was away, particularly at the southern border. The battle raged constantly, almost non-stop there. Koga was still there with his wolves. Sesshomaru grit his teeth, this separation between he and Rin, it didn’t just affect them. Sayako still waited for Sota’s return. He wondered if Inuyasha and Kagome would ever return. Their scents were no longer in the village. It was if they had disappeared forever, never to return to this side of the well.

He landed at the edge of the village. He let his nose work for him. He knew that she would be angry at him for showing up unannounced, but he was tired of asking to meet this man. Eyes were drawn to him as he walked down the main strip of the village. It began with a string of wooden huts with rocks on their roofs. Most of them were small as it was a market. People parted like water as he walked through the throng. He found a black haired man who was slightly more built than himself leaning over the counter of one of the market huts. He ground his teeth angrily. Rin was holding the man’s hand. Displayed in front of her were several of the necklaces she made for money. He was annoyed. He left coins for her. She didn’t need to work. Rin glanced at Sesshomaru and her mouth fell open. She ran around the hut and glared at him. “What are you doing here?”

He pushed her out of the way gently and stalked towards his target, this man who had somehow stolen her heart. He breathed in the man’s scent. It tasted of something familiar he couldn’t put his nose on. He smelled like the ocean, like salt and the sand. The man regarded him just as coldly as Sesshomaru stared at him.

“Sesshomaru,” Rin grabbed him by the upper arm, “what are you doing here?”

He pulled Rin to the side by her arm the same way she pulled on him. “Perhaps I am here to buy something.”

“We both know you are lying, you came here to spy on me!” she yelled in a whisper.

“If I did? Who is this man that has stolen your heart?” he said, nodding towards Higan. Higan turned and leaned his elbow against the counter. “You will introduce this Sesshomaru.”

“No this Rin won’t, leave, now,” she tried to push him. It was like pushing a thousand year old tree whose roots were embedded deep into the soil.

“Yes you will,” Sesshomaru took her by the arm. “If he is around my children, then you will introduce me.”

“Then I will meet him somewhere else,” Rin tried to pull her arm loose.

“Rin,” he tried to keep his voice even. “Introduce me, now.”

“No, let go of me before I make a scene and make you look like an ass,” she tried to pull her arm away.

“Please let her go,” Higan came up to her from behind Sesshomaru, “I am Higan. You must be the father of her children,” he bowed lightly to Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru released Rin’s arm. “Sesshomaru.” he did not bow. This close, something still felt off. He felt an aura coming off the man, but it was so weak there was no way he was a yokai in disguise. There was something about the brown almost-blue eyes that Sesshomaru didn’t like. “I don’t like him.” He turned to Rin.

“I didn’t ask for your approval,” Rin folded her arms.

“We agreed to be friends,” Sesshomaru reminded her.

“Friends don’t stalk each other,” she groaned. She heard Taiyomaru beginning to cry from inside the hut.

“Has he eaten?” Sesshomaru asked her.

“No, I’ll feed him then you can take him,” Rin went back to the hut. She picked up Taiyomaru.

“Leave,” he glared at Higan.

“I think I would rather stay,” he followed Rin.

“Sesshomaru,” Rin warned him.

“Leave,” his right hand started misting green. “I will speak to you alone.”

“Will you be okay, Rin-dono?” Higan asked her.

“He would never hurt me,” she put her hand over her mouth. She wasn’t sure if she meant to say those words, but she knew they were the truth. He would never intentionally hurt her. _He wouldn’t hurt me._ The words stuck in her stomach like a thick gruel. _He didn’t mean to hurt me._

“Except when he does,” Higan said as he walked away.

Rin went back to her stand. Sesshomaru stood next to it. He was scaring off her potential customers. He stopped himself from snarling at the man’s back as he walked away. “Why do you do this?” He picked up one of the necklaces in his fingers, “they are beautiful.”

“To make money,” Rin sat down on a stool.

“I provide you with money,” Sesshomaru countered, examining the piece. “Is it not enough?”

“Maybe I want to provide myself with money,” Rin tried to take the necklace from Sesshomaru. She felt sparks against her skin when her hand touched his.

He held her fingers. “Perhaps I will buy one, for a friend.”

Rin grit her teeth and shook her head. “You aren’t making this any easier, Sesshomaru.”

“Why would I?” He tilted his head, his eyes were half cast over, “I don’t like him.” He ran his fingers up her wrist to her elbow and back. “Perhaps my friend would look beautiful with this on.”

“You wouldn’t like anyone I was with,” she said. “I know who this friend of yours is and she isn’t interested.”

“You won’t let me purchase this, for my friend?” He held onto the necklace.

“Sesshomaru,” Rin peeled his fingers off her arms. “Your son is done now, would you like to take him?”

“I would like to spend time with my friend,” he sat down on a stool next to her small store.

Rin closed her eyes, and when she opened them she gasped.

“My friend sold this to pay for a horse when her daughter went missing.” It was the emerald comb she had given to Kohaku. “This Sesshomaru found it in a marketplace near the southern border. I think she would like it back.”

Rin took the comb from him. “How do you know it’s your friend’s?”

He turned the comb over and pointed to the metal on the back. Inscribed on it were two words, _my heart._ He brushed his thumb over the engraving. “I purchased it, to return to my friend.”

“Only you,” she started rubbing her left shoulder. “Our bond is broken, why can’t you let me go? Damn, weather must be changing.”

“I told you, my love is not broken,” he stood up and walked around to her side of the booth. He moved her hair over the side of her shoulder. He held it steady with his left hand and applied firm circular pressure with the other. “I held you next to my heart when the Healer stole away your memories. I kept you close to my heart, night after night, while you recovered from the injury to your back. I will not let you go so easily.”

“What if it’s what I want? What would make me happy?” She held the hand that gripped her shoulder. “What if I am sure it’s the right thing?”

He set his lips on her shoulder, “if it is what you truly want. Then this Sesshomaru,” he paused, “will let you go.”

“I broke your heart? Didn’t I?” Rin tried to keep her voice stable. She turned around, facing golden eyes staring at her.

“I broke yours first,” he rested his right hand over her left shoulder above her breast. “Will you never even try to understand what the instinct to bond feels like?”

“I don’t know, if humans have something similar, we can stop ourselves from listening to our base animalistic tendencies.”

“Really?” He pulled Rin into his lap, resting his chin on her shoulder. “When you push a child out. Are you in control? You said it before, it’s like something takes control of your body. The sensation scares you with its force.”

Rin tried to get up. “Everyone is staring at us.”

“Answer me, is that not an uncontrollable instinct?” He ran his hand over Taiyomaru.

Rin tried feebly to remove his arm from around her waist.

“Do you know how you scream? How you beg me to take away your pain during that time? You cry against me, your body shakes uncontrollably. Both times you bit down on my shoulder so hard you broke my skin, a feat not easily done. No matter what I say, nothing calms you, no matter how much yoki I used. Something else is in control of you,” he resumed rubbing her sore shoulder. “How is that not an uncontrollable instinct?”

“What do you tell me?” she asked him.

“One day,” he let go of her and stood up.

“It’s not the same, you know,” Rin told him. “Giving birth. It doesn’t hurt other people.”

“It hurts me, seeing you like that and not being able to help you.”

“It’s not the same,” she touched her heart. “It still hurts.”

He took her hand. “Give this Sesshomaru a chance to prove he still loves you.”

“You did,” Rin began packing away her items that didn’t sell. “It wasn’t enough. Let me move on? Please? Let me be happy?”

He nodded his head. “It was good to spend time with my friend.” He tapped his fingers on the comb. “Keep this. One day, my friend may want it back.” He flew into the air leaving her behind.

Rin stared at the sky. He had left a pile of coins and taken all the necklaces she had to sell with him. _You aren’t going to give up, are you?_

* * *

Rin was working in the garden. Spring was upon them. The smell of fresh pollen, leaves blooming, sakura petals and warm dirt drifted through her senses. They flitted into her nose, making it tickle as she let out a small sneeze. Yuki and Harutoga had returned that morning. They were dropped off by their father who flew away without a word. Together the three worked the garden. They used their fingers to dig up small patches of dirt, dropped in several seeds and covered them with soil. “I wish Shippo-san was here,” Yuki said, “or is it Shippo-chan? He looks like he’s my age,” she said. “I want him to make our garden grow faster and bring lightning bugs.”

“Why can’t we do that?” Harutoga asked. He splayed his fingers against the dirt and closed his eyes. He grunted as if he was trying to lift something heavy then wrinkled his nose. 

“You’re not fox demons,” Rin ruffled their hair, “you’re hanyou dog demons,” she said.

“Yeah, but Chichiue can be silly,” Harutoga argued, “he can do some of the things they can.”

“Chichiue is pure blooded and he isn’t just any kind of demon, he’s Dai-yokai, and there is no one powerful enough to stand against him,” Yuki moved her hair behind her ear. “Can I plant an apple tree?”

“I don’t think we have seeds for it,” Rin said, “and I’m not sure if they grow in this environment.”

“Can I go to the village?” Yuki asked, “I’ll go with Hideyoshi.”

“Can I go too?” Harutoga asked.

“Go on,” Rin chuckled as she watched them running towards the hut. They knew Jaken would be waiting for them with a bag full of coins. Jaken was busy keeping Taiyomaru happy until the baby wanted to eat again. Once they were gone, Rin continued her work on her garden. She glanced into the camphor that Hisato was sitting in. He rested with his back against the tree, one leg propped so his knee was up, the other swinging beneath the branch. His eyes were closed, and his arms crossed, “I thought dog demons didn’t sleep.”

“Pure bloods don’t need to unless they are injured or use their yoki in a way that depletes them, my human side still needs rest,” he called down to Rin.

“Then we’re in trouble if something happens. I left my katana in my hut,” she scoffed at Hisato.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you should something dangerous come through the forest.” Gnarled, cracked hands wrapped around Rin’s waist. They lifted her up, and twirled her around, she landed on the forest floor on her back with the weight of a man over her. “Hello, Rin.”

“Hello Higan,” she smiled. She stroked his cheek and accepted the lips that came at hers. “Hisato…perhaps you can rest somewhere else?” She felt a fire growing within herself.

“Come, I want to show you something.” Higan stood up. Rin noticed the broadness of his shoulders. He was taller somehow. His black hair was silky, smooth and felt cool when she ran her hands through it. A fine layer of hair littered his chest. Rin ran her hand over the top of his chest, accepting his embrace as he led her further into the trees.

Hisato’s ears perked up _._ Something felt off. He followed them quietly from tree branch to tree branch. His fingers itched to grasp the hilt of his sword. _It can’t be._ He thought to himself.

Deeper in the forest, around the winding leaves, through the thick boughs of the trees, a river rushed into the bay. The river waters were gentle, calming. They flowed quietly, and resonated with peace. Higan led Rin to furs he had set on the side of the river. On the furs rested a basket. Higan sat down with a giggling Rin. Her cheeks were red, she moved her hair from her face. “A picnic?” she asked him.

“Yes,” he laughed as he kissed her again. The kiss quickly became more intense. His hands brushed up her neck. He held her close to him. He let his lips fall down her neck, he licked under her chin, and over the sensitive skin on the side of her neck. She pushed back on his chest, he held her tightly in response. “Higan.” His mouth still worked around her neck, his hand grasped her breast. A smell was disturbing her, something about the smell of his saliva on her skin, “Higan,” she said again, his mouth continued down. He pulled the side of her kimono down revealing the top of her breast. “Stop, I’m not comfortable with this.” Aura, there was an aura she knew. Her mind was racing, it couldn’t be. She tried to push him back.

“Come on,” he felt excited against her. Her body was firm, her waist taught. He pulled Rin down onto the furs, continuing his quest to open her clothes.

“No,” she said. He grabbed her wrists and with incredible strength they were forced over her head. “No.” It was not a protest as his tongue worked its way between her breasts, the smell, the feel of the tongue on her finally resonated with a long dead memory. She was in the cave again, the agony of Yuki’s birth pains. _Touma…_

“Did you struggle like this for my brother?” Higan’s voice took on an aberrant alto to the baritone she had been used to, the black hair vibrated in waves as it blew in the wind, changing from raven to snow. The eyes and the face shifted, the skin paled, stripes formed on the cheeks, a moon on the forehead. The wicked canyon that ran down Touma’s face and blighted the sight of his eye.

“Get off me, Touma!” Rin tried to struggle against him. She reached her hand out to her katana. She could feel the yoki in the sword, she strained for it, _come to me, come now,_ she called it. He had both wrists pinned to the forest floor in one hand while the other one sliced her obi down the middle of her stomach. The split fabric caused her kimono to fly open. Rin shrieked in protest. He ran his hand down the bumping muscles of her stomach until he pushed it beneath the hem of her undergarments. His hand found the inside of her thigh claws first, his fingers explored where they shouldn’t. She screamed in pain as they entered her. His claws sliced the inside of her thigh. “Hisato!” she shrieked. She felt him cut the side of her opening. “Help me!” She couldn’t get her legs free. _Calm down,_ she told herself, _calm down, he taught me what to do._ She took deep breaths, trying to twist her wrists free, focusing on bringing her sword to her. _If the attacker is yokai,_ her mind flashed back to sparring with Sesshomaru in the garden. He told her it was necessary to learn how to prevent being raped by a yokai. He knew that is what Touma had tried. Touma was between her legs, one hand between her thighs leaving lacerations in her skin. 

Hisato flew from the trees landing crouched with both swords drawn.

“Why would you call him? My loyal follower,” Touma laughed. “Want to watch me spoil the previous mate of the great Sesshomaru? You can have a turn when I’m done,” Touma gloated in glee. “Such a pathetic human, so easily ripped apart from the one you love.”

“Hisato?” Rin stared at the approaching black haired yokai. Sesshomaru had pinned her much like this, _Inu-yokai like touch, he would hold you with one hand, and get between your legs, to touch your center, force his hands in._ Why did Sesshomaru have to be right? _My weight is in between your legs, my chest is pinning down your torso, instead of trying to get your legs beneath my chest and kick me off like a human, use this hip,_ he grabbed her right hip, _slide out from underneath me. The Yokai will have the superior strength. You will have to use your size and ease of speed to your advantage._ Rin gulped. She shook her head, and cried again, she could feel blood dripping down her legs. She pulled her hip out from underneath him, which landed her on her stomach. _Faster, come faster!_ She begged her weapon. She would need it to free her hands. Weaknesses, she elbowed Touma in the sternum, right where the two halves of his ribcage connected. He grunted in pain, then forced her back down onto her stomach, “I could take you like this,” his hands ran over her buttocks.

“Hisato?” Rin begged him.

Hisato said nothing and removed his swords. He knew he would have to move quickly and prevent Touma from retrieving his halberd. He thrust one sword in a downward motion, then the next. White hot blades shot from them. Rin had never seen them shoot blades before. They flung white four-foot blades at Touma, just barely missing Rin. Touma threw Rin aside, cursing. He rolled out of the way dodging the blows. Hisato jumped on top of Touma, attempting to stab him in the back. Touma grabbed Hisato’s wrists. “I should have known…but that’s alright, I have more than one loyal follower in that house.”

Rin’s eyes bolted open at those words. “Hideyoshi,” she shifted upright. She caught her sword in her right hand. She tried to ignore the stings between her legs and the blood dripping from the cut on her thigh. She threw her whip at Touma. It missed. He called his Halberd, catching it in his hand. Within moments, she and Hisato were in a battle to the death. Touma lunged at Hisato, slicing his arm. He swung the back of the Halberd into Rin’s stomach. The air came flying out of Rin’s ribs. She flew backwards, landing on her back. Rin tried to stand up. Touma flew on top of her again, attempting to untie his Hikama. He grabbed the Halberd and slammed a cyclone on top of Hisato. “You see, dear Rin, like I said, I have more than one loyal follower in that house, and the second one is with your children, along with several of my comrades and ogres. Do you hear them?” he pinned her wrists down in one hand again. He used his knees to pin down one of her legs. He tilted his head to the side, “I can smell them, ogre, and many of them.”

Hisato struggled to stand. Winds whipped at his body throwing his feet out from underneath him.

“Hisato, the children!” Rin screamed. “Go now! It’s Hideyoshi! He’s going to kill them!”

“I’m not leaving you!” Hisato was thrown back by another blast. He landed back first into a tree. Touma’s hands were occupied by Rin’s struggling wrists and the other wielding the halberd to keep Hisato back.

“Go!” Rin closed her eyes gripping the hilt of her sword, _Sesshomaru, if there is any part of you that is still connected to me, save them, save our children._ “Go, please!” Rin cried.

Hisato cursed and flew into the air, his hand on his heart as he did, _dear one, the time is now. The children are in danger._

“HAHAHAHA, I can’t believe you did that,” he pushed his hips into Rin’s. “In a moment I will have my way with you, and then I will leave your body for him to find.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rin stopped struggling. He was still fumbling with his pants, “it doesn’t matter, my children will be safe.” _Sesshomaru, hurry._

“Even Hisato can’t fight what I left behind,” he laughed maniacally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG WHAT'S RIN GOING TO DO??!!!
> 
> Show of comments, who knew Touma was Higan? I'm curious how many people caught that.
> 
> Please comment and kudo, show me the love!!!
> 
> This story may or may not go on hiatus until after March 8th...cause I gots tons of homework :(....going into finals wish me luck!


	15. Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru makes it in time to save Rin from being raped by Touma, but as Rin takes a blow mean for Sesshomaru, she finally understands Instinct.

Sesshomaru sat by the fountain of his mother’s castle high in the sky. The trickling of water next to him sounded like rain drops. He held Tsukimaru in his hands. The child was a dead ringer for his father, even he could see that. He patted his back firmly when the baby whined. He rested his forehead against the infant’s. He sang him a long lost fable about the sun and the moon combining their strength to save their kind. Something hit the back of his senses. It was the same sensation as when Yuki was missing, only this time it was stronger, more powerful, enough for him to know what it was. He could hear the words, the sensation flaming against him,  _ Sesshomaru, if there is any part of you that is still connected to me, save them, save our children.  _ He didn’t have time to find someone to take Tsukimaru back to Natsuki. He flew into her room, where she sat by the window with her hand against her chin.

“Take him,” was all he got out. He nearly threw the child at her. He ripped open the outer door to her bedroom and leapt into the sky. Rin’s fear was so strong he could feel it within himself.  _ She’s injured _ . Another feeling smashed against his mind, the moonstones, both of them.  _ Yuki, Harutoga, Taiyomaru, I’m coming. Rin, I’m coming! _

* * *

__ Yuki walked with Hideyoshi towards the village. She was carrying a sleeping Taiyomaru against her back.  _ Stupid Jaken can’t even get him to be quiet,  _ Yuki growled quietly. Hideyoshi stalked behind Yuki and Harutoga. Yuki counted the coins in her hand and pulled out some extra from her pocket. Chichiue always gave her and Harutoga extra coins. He had been right. Now that the little village knew to whom she belonged, they showed her more respect. She didn’t have any friends like in the village at her father’s home, but those friends still spoke to her when she visited.  _ This sucks, he said he was sorry.  _ Yuki sighed and adjusted the baby on her back. “Stop, Haru,” she grabbed her brother’s wrist. “Do you smell that, Hideyoshi?” She turned around. Her eyes widened in fear. “Hideyoshi?”

Hideyoshi had Harutoga by the shoulder with his blade raised. Harutoga cringed. “Run, Haru!” Yuki slashed at Hideyoshi’s wrist, poison flowing. The sentinel hissed in pain and cursed. His wrist turned bright red and blistered.

“Haru, run!” She grabbed her brother by the hand. “He’s going to be faster than, ahhh!”

Hideyoshi tried to snatch the baby from Yuki.

“Don’t hurt my baby!” Yuki bit down on his hand, flipped over the arm trying to grab her, climbed onto Hideyoshi’s back, and hacked at it with her claws. He tried grabbing her, spinning around in circles. She was too fast for him up close. His white hair flew in the wind, almost wrapping around his face.

Harutoga turned, eyes shocked, too scared to move. He couldn’t remember what his father taught him. He needed to do something, there were other smells coming, ogres and something else that smelled like his father in his true form but wasn’t. It roared in the distance. _Chichiue! Help!!!_

“Your whip, Haru!” Yuki screamed. She had Hideyoshi by the throat. His hands were nearly on Taiyomaru. Taiyomaru flopped against her back. “Your whip! Hit him in the legs!”

The six year old flicked his wrist and a green serpentine whip flew from between his claws. It smashed into Hideyoshi’s feet, knocking him over. At the same time Yuki flooded his neck with poison. Hideyoshi coughed up blood. A burst of fire came over Yuki’s head. She jumped in time to see Jaken firing Nintojo at the tainted one. Yuki grasped Harutoga’s hand. “We have to find Ka-san!” she cried. “Run!” She held onto her moonstone, _Chichiue, help!!_

They ran into the woods and came across a giant log. Yuki lifted Harutoga on top of the log. She could hear smashing following them. She heard a vicious growl from behind her and she screamed when a large brown paw came flying at her head. “Duck, Haru!” She pushed him out of the way. “Take Taiyomaru.” She dodged the first blow. She unhooked the baby from her back and handed him to Harutoga. She flopped them both on top of the log. “Go!” she screamed at them. She turned to face the paw, claws extended, poison dripping from their razor sharp edges. It was a giant brown inu-yokai. She crouched, wincing, not sure if she would be strong enough to stop the enormous paw from coming down on her. “Chichiue, SAVE ME!” she screamed as it smashed down on her.

A howl flew through the forest, reverberating off the trees and bleeding into the air. Sesshomaru slammed the full weight of Bakusaiga into the descending paw. He snarled, forcing it backwards. The brown dog yelped in pain. Sesshomaru flew up and dispatched of the head. He landed next to Yuki, she ran to him wrapping her hands around his waist. “Chichiue!” She held onto him.

“On my back. Quickly, Harutoga!” he yelled.

Harutoga ran and leapt off the log, almost dropping the baby. He climbed onto Sesshomaru’s back. Yuki did the same, both holding on. He wrapped them in his mokomoko. Taiyomaru squawked in Harutoga’s arms. Sesshomaru took them away from the battle. He set them down high in a tree, away from the chaos. “Mask your scent and your yoki. Stay here until the battle is done.” He pulled their foreheads to his lips before he turned. Rin’s awareness was still screaming in his head. “Keep the baby quiet.”

“I can’t!” Yuki grabbed his hand. “He’s hungry! I need Ka-san!” She held onto the baby, bouncing him. “What do I do?”

“I’ll feed him.” Natsuki landed next to Sesshomaru in the tree. “I’ll guard them.”

Sesshomaru looked at her shocked. “Why are you here?”

“Your rage,” she touched her heart, “fear. I felt it as if it were my own.” She adjusted Tsukimaru on her chest. “Let me do this for you. If I had known, I wouldn’t have. Give me Taiyomaru. I’ll keep him quiet. I can mask all four of them. No one will know we are here. Go, Sesshomaru, go! I smell Rin’s blood. I hear her screaming.” She took the baby and latched him onto her breast. “They’ll be safe, I will guard them with my life.” Natsuki touched his shoulder. She sent her yoki through him, calming his rage.

In his heart he knew he could trust her. He touched Yuki’s cheek and flew towards Rin’s screams. On the way he appraised the carnage. Hisato was face down on the beach in a puddle of his own blood. He looked like he had been mauled by one of the transformed hounds. Jaken was holding off two dog demons, and there were ogres circling the area. It didn’t worry him. If Hisato was dead, Sesshomaru would revive him. Another presence was coming, someone even more powerful than himself.

* * *

Rin screamed. He was so close. She could feel his heat pressing into her inner thigh. They were nearly at a standstill. Her clothes were torn, her undergarments parted, her obi slashed. She sent the whip after him over and over. Each time it wrapped around his hips and forced him back. He was snarling and growling, slashing at her sword arm. Her right wrist was covered in blood from his attempts to force her to drop the sword, _dokkasu._ She pleaded with the sword. Her heart filled with panic. _Please, I don’t want this to happen, dokkasu!_

He clamped down the side of her neck, leaving teeth marks, his fangs puncturing her supple skin. She screamed in pain, she felt his yoki coming into her, his eyes were red.  _ No, don’t let him bond me, please Sesshomaru, come for me! _ In that moment the ruby eyes of the sword lit up and she let go of the hilt. The shape of the dog changed to a crouch and the sword lunged on its own accord, slamming into Touma’s face. It clamped down on his cheek and wicked dokkasu sluiced into his skin just over his good eye. Rin used the distraction to inch out from underneath him. Her body screamed at her to stop moving.

A moment later a whirlwind slammed down next to her. Gobodo-sama stood before him. “You killed him, you killed my mate, you wretched child!” She lunged at Touma, her hands extended.

Rin staggered through the forest trying to cover herself. She held her hand against the bite mark on her neck, stanching the bleeding. Her clothes were torn beyond any semblance of modesty. She didn’t care. _I have to find the children._ She forced herself into a lope, leaping over trees. She tripped on a large branch and braced herself to faceplant against the forest floor. Sesshomaru landed next to her, catching her before she smacked into the ground. His hands trembled along her broken skin, his mind raged in a fury. “My heart.” He pulled her to his body. “What did he do to you?”

In that moment, Sesshomaru’s world stopped. Touma was using the power of his Halberd to throw cyclones at his mother. He ripped up the forest floor. Trees flew in the lethal wind, boulders slammed into the ground turning up dust storms. It became impossible to see. Rin tried to shield her eyes from the onslaught coming at her. The only thing she saw was Touma coming at Sesshomaru’s turned back. Because of the updrafts of wind, Sesshomaru neither heard nor smelled the approach.

Sesshomaru used his body to protect Rin’s, taking hits from flying boulders, trees and debris. It slashed into his skin, cut his face, sliced into his hip. Touma raised the Halberd up in two hands to stab his brother through the back. Rin shoved Sesshomaru out of the way, as the Halberd went down it pierced through her stomach just below her rib cage, blood flew from her mouth. Enough air was left in her lungs for a blood curdling screech to exit them. “No!” Sesshomaru yelled. “Why did you do that? Why? It wouldn’t have killed me!”

**“Forgive me.” She touched his face leaving a blood stained hand mark. “It was instinct.” She went limp in his arms.**

“HAHAHA, I finally got her,” Touma held his stomach in deep laughter. “Now it’s your turn, Aniki.” He turned his Halberd on Sesshomaru.

He sent a cyclone whipping at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru grabbed the hilt of Tenseiga as he was buried in debris. He cursed himself for not ending this, for allowing Touma to live all those years before. He set Rin down, shielding her with his own body, and drew Bakusaiga with his other hand. He felt another gash to his leg, a cut on his face, the boulders beat at his chest, smashing into his ribs. Before he could advance on Touma, rose shaded lightning smashed down on top of the evil brother.

“TOUMA!” Kagome jumped off of Kirara. She landed on the forest floor in front of Sesshomaru and Rin. “I’ve been waiting ten years for this.” Her hands went palm up as a savage ray of holy energy burst from her. She directed it straight at Touma. The intensity of her power caused its own whirlwind. First it sealed the power of his Halberd, and then she aimed it directly at the malevolent yokai. She no longer needed arrows to concentrate her energy. She gathered a sphere of holy light between her hands, growing from the size of an egg to the size of a watermelon between her palms. It sparked in fury. The irises of her eyes lit pink, her hair flew in the wind of her own making. Touma stumbled backwards, overwhelmed by her power.

“We need to move, she’ll purify all of us!” Gobodo-sama yelled over the sparking energy.

“I’m not leaving Rin.” Sesshomaru held Rin’s bloodied body to him. “No.” Her crimson life force surged from her body. “One soul, our soul, become one with me,” he pulled her bloodied mouth to his own.

“She’s gone Sesshomaru,” Gobodo-sama pulled him by the arm. “Let her go.”

“No.” He forced his binding power, although weak, through her body until he could vaguely feel every injury that shattered her. He kissed her bloodied mouth until his body and spirit combined with what little of her soul was left. He weaved her back into his mind and awareness. It wasn’t as strong as it would have been had he made love to her.

He dared to look at the Miko. She released the ball of light at Touma. It stabbed into Touma’s chest causing cries of agony to fill the air. Touma’s body disappeared into dust.

Sesshomaru sliced open his veins, he poured his blood over the stab wound that had nearly sliced her in half, then turned her over and did the same on her back. He saw the cut marks on her thighs, the bite on her shoulder. Her eyes stared blankly, lifelessly at the sky, her skin paled. He was soaked to his knees in her blood. He pushed his yoki inside of her, he felt her heart trying to stop, he forced it to continue, he pushed air through her lungs. His yoki told her body to continue living, to keep breathing, her heart to resume beating.

“You can’t do this, Sesshomaru, you’ll kill yourself too,” Gobodo-sama plead with him. “She’s too far gone! It will take all your strength, and you’re already injured.”

He shook his head, refusing to listen to her pleas.

“Sesshomaru!” Kagome called, she ran to his side, “not Rin, no…this isn’t how it was supposed to happen!” She cried sliding onto her knees next to Sesshomaru.

“Tell him to stop,” Gobodo-sama begged Kagome. “Tell him she is gone.”

“What are you doing O-ni-sama,” she touched his wrist.

“Don’t call me that, you…if you hadn’t, it wouldn’t have come to this,” he continued focusing his yoki, he pushed the blood from her lungs with his yoki, he made them continue to inflate and deflate, he told her heart to continue beating. “You said my life would change, not that I would lose her!” He yelled at Kagome.

“It’s too much blood, that’s her body’s entire volume, you can’t keep her alive,” Kagome gently spoke. “Let her go. I’m sorry…this isn’t what he said would happen.” Kagome stared helplessly and Rin’s lifeless body.

* * *

Inuyasha landed in time to see the demoness who had disturbed the welcoming celebration holding off four ogre, a transformed Inu-yokai and a half beaten Hideyoshi who had blood seeping from the wounds on his neck and mouth. Behind her, Harutoga held a white haired baby and Yuki held a black haired baby in the boughs of a tree. He released meido blades at the giant dog, hacking it to pieces and sucking its body into the underworld. He rammed Hideyoshi with Kongo soha blades. Natsuki transformed into her medium sized dog form and ripped off the head of one of the ogres. The next she stuck with her claws, the last came down with the poison from her fangs. Inuyasha sent Kaze no Kizu at the final horde coming at them. Yuki covered Harutoga’s eyes so he wouldn’t see the blood flying.

Natsuki stalked over to the tree where the children hid. She motioned with her head for them to get onto her back. When Yuki hesitated, she gave her low commanding bark as a warning. Yuki jumped from the tree onto Natsuki’s back. She held onto the light fur around her neck. Harutoga leapt down next to her, almost dropping Tsukimaru in the process. “Your whip!” Yuki shoved his shoulder.

The little boy flipped his wrist and sent the whip to catch the baby, he flung Tsukimaru back up to himself.

“Okay…I’m assuming you're on our side now, since you have my nephews and niece up there?” Inuyasha kept his sword ready.

“She’s safe for us, Ojisan! I smell Ka-san’s blood!” Yuki screamed. “Take me to Ka-san, she’s hurt!”

* * *

“Miko, the parts of the body that make blood, the kidneys, bone marrow, stem cells, where are they?” His tone came out as a pathetic entreaty. “I have to touch them.” His hands hovered over Rin’s torso, blood-stained, shaking.

“You’ve been reading more Greys Anatomy. Here,” she pointed to the sides of Rin’s stomach. His blood was slowly stitching her insides back together, “the bone marrow is created from stem cells in the pelvic bone. The back, the bone back here,” she touched just above his sacral area, “it has the richest source of bone marrow. What are you doing?”

He placed a trembling clawed hand over Rin’s sides near her kidneys and the other low on her abdomen. Her eyes were still absent, “telling her body to make blood.” He could sense them already trying to replace what was lost, but she was too weak. _Take my strength, take it, Rin._ His yoki fled into her kidneys and bones, her body lazily replacing what was lost.

“Sesshomaru, you have to stop, your body isn’t healing, the cut on your arm,” Gobodo-sama ripped the sleeve of her kimono. She cut it into long sashes and tied it around his wrist, the other two she tied around his leg. “Let her go.” She placed a sympathetic hand on her son’s shoulder.

“Get off me.” He shoved his mother back. “This was your plan? Let him spring the trap? And you,” he glared at Kagome. “You said they both had to be born, that I had to let her go, you didn’t say that Rin would die.”

“The children are safe.” Natsuki came up from behind him. She held both babies in her arms. Natsuki’s face contorted as Sesshomaru's pain became hers. “Not her. He loves her.” She looked at one baby then the other, and shook her head. She knew the only thing she could do in that moment was to care for the two infants. She sat down against a tree and held both babies against her breast. Inuyasha stood behind her.

“Not Rin.” Inuyasha covered his mouth. “Sesshomaru,” he sheathed Tetsusaiga. He ran to crouch by his brother.

“I don’t understand,” Kagome covered her mouth, “this isn’t how he said it would happen.”

“Who?” Inuyasha asked. He threw his arms up. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Rin’s eyes opened weakly. “My love,” she touched Sesshomaru’s face. “You came.”

“Always, my heart.” Sesshomaru felt himself waver. He was beginning to feel light headed.

“It’s okay,” she told him, she raised one hand to his, “it’s okay.”

“No,” he touched his forehead to hers, “I’m not letting you go.”

“I…I…” she coughed up blood. Kagome helped her turn her head, “I’ve cheated…” she struggled to breathe, “death one too many…times.”

“Ka-san?” Yuki came forward enough to see her mother’s injuries. “Ka-san!” She shrieked. She tried to run forward only for Kagome to catch her.

“Don’t look, Yuki.” Kagome grabbed Harutoga and turned him around. “Don’t look.”

“It’s okay…let me go,” it was barely a whisper.

“I can’t,” he forced back tears, “I won’t let you go like this.”

“Sesshomaru,” his mother warned, “you can’t keep her alive long enough to replenish her-”

“Silence!” he yelled at her. “We will cheat death again.” If only he could keep her eyes open, if he could keep Rin talking.

“Do…d…do you ever…f..f…f…feel we rushed…together?” Rin struggled to keep her eyes open. “M…m…maybe, it…w…was…a m…mistake.” Her eyelids opened and closed. She struggled to focus. His face blurred.

“Stay awake…Stay with me.” Sesshomaru shook her by the chin. “Stay with me,” he kissed her mouth. “Rin?” Her eyes were gone again, her body limp, her hand released his and fell to her side. “Rin? No…” _It wasn’t a mistake, how could you think my love for you was a mistake?_

“Sesshomaru,” Gobodo-sama touched his back.

He fell on top of her body, he cradled her head in his hands. “My heart…no…not like this. Not like this. Don’t leave me.” He rocked back and forth holding her, crying into her neck.

“You have to let go,” Gobodo-sama was holding his arm. “You won’t survive. Your yoki can’t heal you if you give it all to her.”

Natsuki stared, confused and in wonder from the tree. He was giving his life force to Rin. His yoki was knitting Rin’s broken body back together, forcing her body to create more blood, to sew the broken organs back together and close the shattered flesh.

“My yoki transformed her cells…it slowed cellular decay." 

"Sesshomaru, are you trying to heal her with your yoki?” Kagome asked him.

“Yes,” he sniffed swallowing his tears. “My yoki gives her strength, the strength her body doesn’t have on its own. I can control her body, like this,” he wiped his eyes, smearing her blood across his cheeks.

“That’s it, that’s how she survived, but how do you survive? Go to your grandmother.” She pushed a sobbing Yuki and Harutoga to Gobodo-sama. “But how?” Kagome became pensive.

“Kagome seriously, what are you talking about?” Inuyasha asked her again confused.

“He can’t,” Gobodo-sama repeated herself holding the children, “I know what he is doing. Her body is too far gone, if he tries to sustain it long enough, he will die too. Then these children will have neither of their parents.”

“No he won’t,” Natsuki stood up, “you two, take these babies,” she didn’t know the name of the priestess or the hanyou. “Take my son and her son.” Something told her she could trust them. She knelt down over Sesshomaru and held him from behind, one hand over his shoulder, the other under his arm. She laced her fingers over his heart, letting her lips rest against his back. “Take my yoki, Sesshomaru, heal your human,” she opened their bond and soaked his body with her demonic energy. It was as if their souls were dancing, reveling in the power of the young demoness who would one day be a Dai-yokai in her own right and the Dai-yokai who was desperate to save the life of his human. His yoki went into Rin’s body and Natsuki’s into Sesshomaru’s, creating a conduit of strength.

His hand reached for Tenseiga. _Not yet…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and the comments please!!! AHH is Rin going to make it?


	16. The Underworld

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin has a vision of Inu no Taisho

Rin’s body felt sore, fatigued and weak. She woke in a puddle of her own drool. Her hair was matted around the ends over her face. There were tears in her eyes. Her clothes felt whole again, her body covered. Something warm felt like it was pulsing up and down her skin. She couldn’t remember how she got to wherever she was. It was dark, she could only make out hues of ebony and crimson. The ground was soft as if it was cradling her sleeping form. She flexed her fingers against the dirt. She grunted quietly, lifting herself to a sitting position.

“I thought you would never wake up,” a voice said. It was baritone, soothing, nothing like she had ever heard before.

Rin jolted to the side to see the face of what looked like an Inu-yokai. His white hair tied high in a pony tail, she backed away. He sat against a protruding part of the wall, one knee up the other down. Her hand went for her sword, but her hip was empty. She held out her hand, urging the weapon to come to her.

“I’m not him,” the yokai said as he walked towards Rin, “but you wouldn’t know who I am, would you?” He whipped his ponytail back over his shoulder. Rin let her eyes explore the odd man in front of her. He had lightning stripes on either side of his cheeks. Fangs on the sides of his mouth, like Sesshomaru’s. His hair was white, his eyes golden, and he was tall. His ears were long and pointed. He had chinked armor that looked like a folding fan down the sides of his arms. He wore all white, but no swords. “It won’t come, not here. And it wouldn’t work on me. I’m not living, and very soon you won’t be either. It was made with rubies from my grave. He’s so sentimental. He tries to pretend like he isn’t, but he is, my son.”

Rin’s mouth went dry and fell open. “Inu no…” She pushed herself off the ground.

“Taisho, Toga,” he flicked his bangs. As he did, a light sparked into his hands in the shape of a sphere. He juggled it back and forth between his hands.

“Where am I?” Rin watched the light, mesmerized.

“Between the living and the dead. I have to say, between you and my son, how is a dog demon supposed to rest in the afterlife?”

“I’m dead?” _The light? What is that light?_

“Dying,” he corrected, “although can you feel that? The yoki, coming off you in waves?”

“Is that what’s making my skin tingle?” While she was sleeping, the waves were straining, something changed, a different kind of warmth combined with the first.

“He’s trying to save you, again…he knows Tenseiga can’t bring you back, neither can the meido stone. That was your last chance.”

“So…my children will grow up without their mother,” she looked down at the ground and pursed her lips. She wanted to hold that ball in his hands, there was something familiar about it.

He continued tossing around the light in his bare hands, from one hand to the other, back and forth. Over his palms, along the back of his hands, up his elbows and then with a toss it was sent back into his grasp. Toga walked circles around Rin, looking her up and down, “I see why he loves you. You’re a strong one, aren’t you? Full of fire, and you’ve given him three powerful children.”

Rin lowered her head, pain entered her heart. “He took another.”

“Yes he did, as instinct dictated,” Toga smiled, “and for that, you threw this aside?” He held the light in the tips of his fingers.

“That’s our bond?” Rin rushed forward, one last time, she wanted to feel it in her hands.

He pulled it away from her, “tell me something, have you ever done anything irrational? Like stepping in front of Touma’s blade? You know it would have hurt Sesshomaru, not killed him, and I know you knew that. You saw Magatsuhi impale him twice. It would have hurt like hell and weakened him, but it wouldn’t have killed him. Why did you do it? I warn you, this place craves the truth, and I’m not sure a human can handle the consequences of lies.”

Rin rubbed her arms. All she could see was red and black. It was like she was in a dimly lit cloud. The edges were black, the inside red, there were no smells, just strange lights. It was cold, her arms felt chilled. **“I…instinct, I had to protect him.”**

“Strange,” Toga laughed, the ball danced back and forth between his hands. “Do you think my son, a Dai-Yokai needs protecting by a human?”

“No...yes, well I don’t know,” it was hypnotizing the way the ball went from hand to hand, she wanted to feel it, caress it, cling to it. “He’s more powerful than I will ever be, but inside,” she stopped.

“Oh don’t stop, tell me about his insides, his heart, you.” Toga chuckled, “do you know why he calls you his heart?”

“Love?” She raised her eyebrows.

“No,” he waved her towards him, “come here.”

She walked toward him nervously. Toga placed his hands over Rin’s head. “This might be uncomfortable, if you think his yoki is strong,” together their eyes closed. Rin’s body was wracked with the most powerful yoki she had ever felt. It beat through her body like a rip tide, drawing her into his awareness. It felt like she was being dragged somewhere. She held her breath, respiration became difficult. “Open your eyes,” he commanded her. “There,” he pointed to a road.

There she was. Rin covered her mouth. She had never seen it from his perspective before. A little girl in tattered clothes lay dead on the road. Her foot twisted and broken on the branch she tripped on. Blood surrounded her. Her eyes dimmed, lifeless. Her body was covered in bite marks. “That’s me,” she gasped.

“Follow me,” Toga walked with Rin, everything blurred and they were in a field. Sesshomaru was throwing rocks at Jaken. Jaken was yelling at Sesshomaru, for testing Tenseiga on him. _The smell of blood and wolves. I know this smell._

“I can hear his thoughts,” Rin’s brown eyes widened.

“Can you feel his heart?” Toga asked her.

“It’s cold, harsh, like he doesn’t care about anything and angry. Why was he so angry?” The grass bent in the light wind.

“That was my fault. I bonded a human, Inuyasha’s mother. I think you know that story. I left what he viewed as my most powerful sword to Inuyasha. Keep watching. And he was always a heartless ass. You met his mother, like mother like son.”

Rin had to run to keep up with him as Sesshomaru went back to her body. He said he was just testing Tenseiga but she sensed something else. She sensed... “compassion?” She glanced at Toga for confirmation.

“Yes, he felt compassion for you. You, in your own way, tried to care for him while he was injured and there were some things he noticed about you, listen,” Toga touched Sesshomaru’s heart.

_She’s small, she smells, yet she returns. She looks like she hasn’t had a proper meal in days, but she gives me her food. Perhaps if I tell her to mind her own business she will eat the food instead._ “He felt bad for me?”

Toga nodded. He stood across the road from Rin’s lifeless body.

Rin watched as Sesshomaru’s eyes seemed to glaze over. He swiped at something Rin couldn’t see. When her heart started beating, something lit inside of Sesshomaru’s heart, the faintest spark of light. “What is that?”

“The beginning of your bond, you see? That’s how we know the ones we are supposed to be with. You gave him, well, you tell me.”

Rin reached out with her emotions to him. “Hope?”

Toga nodded knowingly. “Come, there is more to see.” The scenery blurred again, the light changed, the world became black. Sesshomaru and Kohaku knelt over Rin’s tiny limp body. They were on a brown and black stone road in a pathway to darkness. _I should never have let her come with me, after I brought her back, I should have left her in a human village._

“Why didn’t he?” Rin asked Toga. “It couldn’t have been easy having me along with him.”

“You tell me.” Toga said. He shuddered. “The underworld is such a nasty place.”

Rin reached out with her emotions, and her own memories. She remembered those first few days, he provided her with food. He gave her clothes, he told her she was safe, she no longer needed to fear. “He didn’t trust humans with me. They had already disappointed him.”

“Yes,” Toga answered, “keep watching, the darkness took you, did you see? The Guardian of the Underworld, he cuts down with Tenseiga, and then what happened?”

Rin continued watching. Sesshomaru caught her in his right arm. He never held her often. He told her and Kohaku when they caused trouble that his one arm was meant for a sword, not to hold children. He cradled Rin to him and nearly cried. Rin touched her own heart. The pain inside felt like a knife, _nothing could be worth her life._ “But why? I was just a child. What did I give him?”

“Can’t you feel it? What you still give him,” Toga paced around her stroking his chin, “reach out with your senses.”

“I was a burden, I was always getting into trouble,” she argued.

“Not to Sesshomaru,” a kind smile crossed his face.

“What did I give him?” His agony was bleeding into her senses.

“Keep reaching out to him, touch his shoulder if it helps,” Toga encouraged her.

Rin walked up behind the crouching Sesshomaru as he huddled Rin’s body against his own. “What did I give you?” Rin lay her hand on his shoulder. As soon as her fingers brushed his shoulder, she felt an overwhelming sense of purpose and happiness. “I was his purpose? His hope, his happiness,” the words left her mouth like feathers in the wind.

“Time to go,” Toga walked away into shadows.

Rin chased after him, desperate to keep up. “I swear if it hadn’t taken him 900 years to fall in love, or if he had stopped and listened to me when he was 400 years old, I wouldn’t have to keep catching this for you.” Toga chuckled, holding up their bond. “Come on, let’s see what it was like for him when you were a teenager.”

Rin covered her eyes. “No, please, not that, all we did was fight.”

“You never figured out why?” Toga glanced over his shoulder as the black faded to green. They were in Kaede’s village. Rin traipsed through the forest lazily to the grassy overhang where she met Sesshomaru often.

“He was jealous?” Rin rolled her eyes. “That and something else…I know this day,” Rin laughed, “Arakawa-san had twins. I was helping Kaede-sama, I was fifteen. It was after I kissed him on a dare.”

“I could ask you about that,” Toga laughed. “Why would a fifteen year old girl kiss a Dai-yokai whom she knew did not enjoy physical contact? He was uncomfortable with contact from you starting when you were fourteen. He started noticing changes, even if neither of you said anything. Let’s look at some pictures, there you are in the forest,” he pointed to Rin leaning over a fire. She knew that memory too. Kaede-sama had insisted Rin was old enough to get married. Rin ran away from the village. Sesshomaru found her in the woods near the village she was raised in. “You told him there was no one you fancied. Was that true?”

“No,” she whispered.

“Yet you didn’t tell him? Why?”

“Because of how he treated his brother. I knew that if we ever had a relationship, he wouldn’t be happy. I couldn’t give him pureblooded children. They would be hanyou. He would hate them, hate me.”

“You assumed he would place your children in the same vein as my other son? You wouldn’t make him happy?”

“I couldn’t make him happy,” she corrected Toga.

“Oh, stop fidgeting with your kimono, you’re going to fray the cloth. You still haven’t realized it yet, have you? I guess I have my work cut out for me. Oh, there you two are, look at that, you were so tired. You had just spent, how long was it?” Toga hiked in the direction of the grassy hill.

“Three days,” Rin could almost feel the exhaustion of that birth creeping in, how long she and Kaede-sama had sat with the mother. “It was three days, my joints were tired, I could barely stand up. I knew he was coming, I went out anyway. I waited on the hill. I loved when he landed against an orange sunset. I always thought he was,” she stopped short.

“Say it.”

“Beautiful,” Rin grinned, “look at him. Even then, his shoulders, his confidence, even if he was arrogant. The way his hair swayed in the wind, the way he exudes strength. I wanted to be his,” she hugged herself, imagining they were his arms.

“Why didn’t you tell him? Especially after that kiss. I should have shown you the change in him after that.” Toga had an infectious smile.

“He was mad at me.”

“He was mad because you made him feel something he wasn’t expecting,” Toga put his hand over Rin’s eyes, “let’s pause this memory and back up a little.”

She was taken back to that first kiss. The one where she jumped off the roof of Kaede’s hut and planted a firm kiss on his lips. Rin covered her eyes and blushed, the memory still holding nothing but embarrassment for her. She dared to let her eyes watch the moment her lips met his. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? His hand slid around her lower waist, he did not immediately reject the kiss. His lips parted and he allowed it to continue, it was Rin who broke away and ran for it. “Did it look like he didn’t want it?” Toga asked her.

“No, his heart’s beating faster, and there’s more light. The spark that was in his heart before, it got bigger. But he never said anything, not until later, by the lake…”

Toga nodded his head. “Back to this one, I love this one.” They returned to the hillside. 

“Why couldn’t he just tell me then!?” She grabbed Toga’s arm, “why couldn’t he just tell me then that he wanted me? That he felt what I did, the warmth between us, the comfort of his mouth against mine?”

“This is my son we’re talking about? You don’t want to know what I had to do to him to get him to admit his feelings for you,” Toga looked up at the sky. “Just watch.”

Sesshomaru and Jaken landed together. She ran up to them and plastered a smile on her face, pretending to have energy when all she wanted to do was pass out. She wobbled as she walked towards him. Rin felt the worry radiating from Sesshomaru. He knew she was tired. He immediately sat down where they used to go for a walk and talk about this and that, before it turned into a word battle. They were talking about where he had been, and where he planned to go next. Rin was picking at the grass listening patiently. He was telling her about flying in the clouds, and Jaken was yelling at Rin for bothering Sesshomaru when Rin suddenly asked, “I wish I knew what it was like to fly.”

“You fly on Aun, stupid girl,” Jaken yelled at her.

“Not like that. Whenever I fly it’s always on someone else, it’s never me flying alone, how does it feel, Sesshomaru-sama?”

Sesshomaru stood up. He dusted off his Hikama. “Get on Aun.” That was his way then. He was harsher, gruffer than he was with her now. She ran and climbed on Aun. “Follow me,” they left Jaken below. Aun and Sesshomaru flew high into the sky, past the lower clouds, until all she could see was sky and clouds and nothing below. Sesshomaru stopped next to her. The air was thinner up there. “Jump,” he told her.

A mischievous smile ran across Rin’s face. “Catch me?” She put her arms out to her sides, closed her eyes and fell backwards off Aun’s back. Her body raced towards the surface. Air rushed at her from all directions and whipped against her face. She giggled as the adrenaline hit her. She moved her body so she was falling splayed out, hands and legs catching currents, beating at her clothes. Then he was next to her, falling with her. Moments later, he was beneath her, his back to the ground, he gradually slowed her descent. She landed in his arms flush against his chest.

“There’s more light,” Rin marked.

“Yes, and the last jump, watch.”

Rin remembered that one, it haunted her for a while. She fell backwards off Aun laughing hysterically, almost so hard she started choking. Instead of flying below her, he flew next to her, arms and legs expanded like hers. That time he intertwined his fingers with hers. Oh that feeling, it was like sparks were flying between the two of them. He pulled her closer to him, until she was beneath him, his breath against her neck. He grasped her other hand, her back was against his chest. She never noticed his lips brush against the side of her neck in the rush of falling. _Rin…what are you doing to this Sesshomaru? Do you hear my heart pounding, my hands sweating? Come closer, this once, let me know what it is like to hold you._ His hand trailed down her side and looped around her waist, she thought he had done it to catch her.

“He wanted to be closer to you,” Toga said. “My son, ever the idiot, when it comes to love.”

“More light,” she remarked.

“Yes, more. You see, that light is blazing when it’s between two demons before it combines. When it’s between a human and a demon, it’s not so automatic. He thought it should have been, but it wasn’t until that one night by the lake, you remember.”

“I didn’t know what to do with it. I gave up after flying with him. I let Kohaku fill that void in me, even if it was only somewhat. We started a relationship and then he came and kissed me. I’d never been kissed like that, or held, or had someone touch me the way he did.” She remembered the feeling of his hand running up her thigh, his lips. His hands grabbed and caressed her breasts, her back, her buttocks, up her thigh until his fingers reached inside of her. The sensation was both painful and pleasurable.

“He wanted your permission, if that is what you were thinking. He wouldn’t bond you without permission, he loved you too much for that. Rin, he loves you, you have no idea how deeply.”

“Love wasn’t enough,” she shook her head, feeling the tears coming again.

“Why do you think that?” Toga asked her, “Ever since he admitted his feelings,” the scenery shifted to the rock face. Sesshomaru was leaning over her, checking her injuries, telling her that he was not ready to be without her. “You have refused to believe that you are the one he loves, that you are the one that gave him a heart capable of love, that you are his heart. Natsuki will never be able to give him what you did.”

Rin refused to believe it. She watched, when their lips met, a heaviness in his heart dissipated. _Finally, Rin, finally…you are mine._ She heard his thoughts, _you will give me children, family, love._ Rin’s eyes teared, “then why did he…”

“Just wait, I want to show you one more thing,” Toga held up one finger.

Rin flushed red and covered her eyes. She was naked straddling his lap, her bruised back tensing as she tried to decide whether to allow him to make love to her. Rin remembered that, she was nervous, scared and overwhelmed. Her biggest fear was that she would become pregnant and he would leave her.

“It’s interesting how we keep coming back to that, isn’t it?” Toga put his hand on her shoulder, “you didn’t know if you should, because you might give him what you thought he hated the most.”

“Can you read my thoughts?” She gasped, “I can’t believe you are watching us do that!”

“Why? He looks very skilled at it. 600 years of practice, and he knew how to please you, but he never felt love for one like this before. Do you feel his strain as he stops himself, how he waits for you to say it’s okay? The way he made sure to reduce the discomfort you would feel?”

_ I don’t want to hurt her, she is already injured. She’s so beautiful, look at this powerful body, the scars, the muscles, her strength of character.  _ His thoughts flooded her mind as she watched them, until she finally was ready to allow him passage. As she lowered herself she heard his thoughts,  _ yes Rin, you feel so good, be one with me, let me love you.  _ “He didn’t want to hurt me, he held himself back even once it had started.”

“Do you feel how painful it was for him until you gave him permission to bond you?”

It was throbbing, it was like his entire body was on fire, like he was burning from the inside out. His heart felt like it would crack with each thrust of their hips together. “He waited for me to ask.”

“Why would he ask, if you weren’t good enough?” Toga reminded her. “Now watch what happens with the light between you two.”

As Sesshomaru’s power flooded into Rin, the light in his stomach became one with hers, the sphere blinded Rin. She had to cover her eyes, she winced trying to avoid the glare. She knew that was when he climaxed, because that was when the bond was cemented. He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily, recovering from the exertion of his yoki. The light in his chest was fluorescent, blinding, whole. Inside Rin’s stomach a light also shonewn. “That’s Yuki,” Rin said.

“Yep, that’s my grand-daughter. She was created by the light of your bond, which is why she is so challenging. She is powerful in her own right, it overwhelms her, in time it won’t. Now watch what happens with Natsuki.”

“Please don’t make me watch that,” Rin grabbed Toga’s arm. “Not that. Anything but that.”

“You need to see their bond,” he grasped her hands and removed them from her eyes.

Rin watched as the ghostlike figure of Natsuki approached Sesshomaru. As soon as their eyes locked on each other, they both became red. Rin could feel the vortex between them, sucking them in, not allowing them to make any other choice than to bind themselves together. The bond was cemented first by Natsuki then by Sesshomaru, and once it combined, Rin found it disappointing. She had expected to have to close her eyes, to shield them as she did when he took her. “It’s so dim,” she told Toga. A light brighter than Yuki’s rested within Natsuki’s womb, “except the light in her stomach.”

“We can’t help that. Tsukimaru is pureblooded. But their bond, do you see how weak it is?” He rested a hand on Rin’s shoulder.

“Yes,” she sighed. Sesshomaru pulled the demoness to him, and they both drifted to sleep. Rin was used to that. Creating children exhausted him. It was when he woke up that Rin’s eyes widened.  _ No…no…what have I done?  _ “He didn’t want to bond her.”

“No, he didn’t, when he woke up, what do you feel?” Toga gave her a squeeze, “I’m sorry, I know this was hard for you to watch.”

“He felt destroyed?” She glanced at golden eyes.

“Yes, destroyed, humiliated to succumb to something like instinct. And what else?” He pointed to Sesshomaru flying in the sky towards their home.

“Terrified,” Rin covered her mouth, “terrified that he would lose me. That I wouldn’t understand and I wouldn’t give him a chance to explain. I didn’t give him that chance. I never did!” She turned to Toga, “I never let him even try.”

“You shut down every attempt, you left him before he could even try. I understand though, Natsuki showed up the day you were celebrating your son’s birth. An interesting demoness, that one. Natsuki will one day be as powerful as Sesshomaru’s mother, she’s young, naïve and-“

“Stupid,” Rin folded her arms and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, very stupid. That child was meant to be born, thank you for helping them. That’s another reason he loves you. You have a kind heart. You do the right thing even when it isn’t easy and it feels wrong. There is something else you gave him that she can’t.”

“What’s that?” Rin felt tears dripping down her cheeks.

“Watch,” Toga approached Rin from behind, he placed his fingers over her temples. His eyes shut and Rin was tossed through memories, from  _ his  _ perspective. How he felt meeting her at his returns, his great love for her. How he made her feel complete, how he hated leaving her but gained strength knowing she was waiting for him at home. She felt the fullness of his heart while he held her when Harutoga and Taiyomaru were born. She could hear the words he whispered in her ears that were nothing more than background noise before, “I love you, you’re so strong, I’m here. Keep pushing, it’s okay, I’m here, I know it hurts, I love you, I love you so much, my heart, look what you did, you made me a father. You gave me a son.”

Rin’s lip quivered. “It doesn’t sound like him,” Rin laughed wiping the tears from her eyes.

“No it doesn’t, it sounds like a yokai in love,” Toga turned her around.

“Family, I gave him a family,” Rin cried in earnest.

Inu No Taisho rest his hand on Rin’s shoulder again. He pulled her into an embrace, he spoke quietly next to her ear. “You are so special to him, Rin. But you’ve always doubted his love, you’ve always felt insecure. Sure that if something else, like a pure blooded demoness came along, he would leave you, he would toss you aside. Maybe that’s left over from your days scavenging as an orphan and being tossed aside by society, but do you see now, why it hurt him so badly when you had the Miko seal his bond?” He released her only to cup her face and wipe her eyes.

“She only sealed it?” Rin wavered on her feet, her knees felt weak. She felt faint.

“Yes, that’s what gave me time to catch it. It was inevitable his heart was going to break, it broke the last time you made love. He begged you to return, you said no. When you walked away, that was it, that was the end. It flew from his chest and watch where it went,” Toga touched Rin’s forehead again.

Rin watched, it went from his heart into Tenseiga. “Why? Tenseiga is just a sword. I’m so dizzy, it burns,” she touched her stomach, “why Tenseiga?”

“Because a part of me lives in that sword. It was cast off from my fang, remember? I felt his misery, his heartache. What father doesn’t want to protect their son from feeling that? I don’t mean to discount your own broken heart, but this, you never gave him a chance to explain. Now you know…he’s coming for you, don’t resist him,” Toga’s voice faded with his body into the orange and yellow of the world in between.

“Don’t resist him?” Rin didn’t understand.

“Take this!” Toga yelled as he moved further and further away. The sphere of light flew into Rin’s hand, it permeated her skin and drifted into her heart. “He will know how to take it back.”

“It hurts,” Rin’s knees buckled, her stomach felt like it was on fire, her back felt like it was breaking, she was cramping, she felt light headed like she couldn’t move. “What’s happening?”

“Don’t resist,” the voice was changing from the baritone of Toga’s voice that sounded like thunder to a soft tenor. “Don’t resist,” it begged her, “my strength is fading, it’s almost enough.”

Rin collapsed on the ground, she couldn’t move, she wasn’t sure if she could breathe. She didn’t know what to think, her eyes stopped working, the world went black, she was sure this was the end and that she would soon travel the world in between to the afterlife itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SURVIVED FINALS!!! Ya'll please comment, kudo and all that lot! Thank you!


	17. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin tries to speak to Sesshomaru...what happens?
> 
> OMG I am so sorry everyone. My life went to hell this week. Friday my kids school was canceled for two weeks, which means I have to homeschool 4 kids, well really 2 of them and 1 that is going to get jealous when she sees her big brothers doing schoolwork. So I've been trying to get supplies together, games and whatnot to last the next two weeks. My husband's work is probably closing and I need to clean out what will be his office. 
> 
> I really don't want to put Instinct on Hiatus but I am going to have to...most likely until May 1st.   
> You can find me on tumblr and twitter and I will post as I am able. Just all this Coronavirus is affecting my life right now!

Sesshomaru supported himself on one hand. His body was weak, depleted of energy. The gash in his hand had not ceased bleeding. The cut in his leg soaked his pants, and he couldn’t bend his back or stomach for the bruises. The cut on his face couldn’t stitch itself back together. He touched Rin’s cheek with one hand.  _ How could you think it was a mistake? It wasn’t a mistake.  _ He felt someone move the hair from his shoulders. “Sesshomaru?” Natsuki asked him with a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

He collapsed on the ground next to Rin. “Was it enough?” It had been five days, five days of him sitting next to Rin, of him holding her hand, sending his and Natsuki’s combined strength into her body to heal herself. “Miko,” his eyes threatened to close on him, “was it enough?” The first three days were an infernal struggle against her body shutting down system by system. As soon as one area healed, another began to degrade. By the time the fourth day came, her body finally accepted his yoki and painfully began the process of putting itself back together. By the fifth day he could no longer hold the connection, his own body was screaming for rest. Natsuki he could tell was exhausted, any more and she wouldn’t have the strength to care for his infant sons. Silently, they both knew it was up to Rin now, the rest of the process was up to her.

“It was enough, Sesshomaru,” Kagome smoothed Rin’s hair, “her color is back and her heartbeat has stabilized.”

“I need to take him back to my castle, he isn’t safe here. Where is that infernal dragon?” Gobodo-sama stood up. “Idiot! Sesshomaru, you are an idiot! You are both idiots!” She yelled at Natsuki and Sesshomaru.

“I won’t leave without her,” Sesshomaru stared at the light blue sky, his eyes opening and closing weakly. He took Rin’s hand in his. “Not without Rin.”

“Fine…” She snarled, “I’m taking Tenseiga. I am not ready to say good-bye to Hisato.” She drew the sword from Sesshomaru’s waist and flew into the air back towards the hut.

“Sesshomaru-sama?” Jaken trembled next to him. “This isn’t good. He has no yoki left to heal his own wounds. I’ll go find Aun.” He ran off towards their hut.

“You two, help me. I’ll transform so I can carry everyone,” Natsuki stumbled off her knees. She bounded into the air. Her kimono shifted from green to white, her hair grew around her neck, her markings merged into white fur. She landed next to Sesshomaru and Rin. She lay down on her stomach. Yuki carried Taiyomaru onto her back. Kagome carried Tsukimaru. Harutoga followed and gripped the mane on her neck. Inuyasha carried Rin first and set her down next to Kagome in the middle of the white dog’s back, then dragged his brother up next. He kept one arm around Sesshomaru’s chest to keep him from falling as Natsuki took off into the air. Jaken trailed behind with Aun.

* * *

Natsuki landed by the golden-bordered red stairs that led to Gobodo-sama’s throne room. She lay down at the top and let the children and Kagome off. Jaken landed next to them with Aun. Once her back was free, Natsuki shifted to her human form. Her clothing and hair defied logic by being pristine despite the battle and five day struggle sustaining Rin’s life. Kagome handed her Tsukimaru. Yuki bounced Taiyomaru in her hands to keep him from crying. “Give him to me, Yuki. Is that your name?” She held out her hand.

Yuki snarled in response.

Natsuki put a hand on her hip. “He is hungry again, and your Ka-san cannot feed him. Give him to me. I will care for him.”

Yuki refused, shaking her head and huddling her baby brother to her chest.

Sesshomaru weakly lifted a bruised hand up to Yuki’s slender striped arm. “Give him…to…” he lost consciousness before he could finish speaking.

“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Inuyasha knelt by Sesshomaru, “he can’t even keep his eyes open.”

“His yoki is depleted,” Gobodo-sama arrived with Hisato next to her. She held tightly to his hand with tears in her eyes. Hisato stalked closely behind her. “Hisato, take Rin to a room in Sesshomaru’s wing. Natsuki, return to your room, you will stay away from my son.”

Hisato pressed his lips against Gobodo-sama’s cheek. “Thank you, dear one.” He knelt down and hefted Rin’s limp body into his arms.

“Where should I take Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha asked, still kneeling next to his older brother.

“You can leave, my servants will carry him,” Gobodo-sama strode to Kagome. “You,” she lifted Kagome’s chin, “a woman out of time, how did you know he would survive? That she would survive?”

Kagome clenched her lips, she tugged on the back of her hair nervously. “Some things I can’t say, I’m sorry. And if you don’t get your claw out of my chin,” she gripped Gobodo-sama’s finger. Pink sparks flew.

Gobodo-sama moved backwards with arched eyebrows. “Leave.”

“Will you be okay, Yuki? Harutoga?” Inuyasha asked them.

Yuki nodded, handing Taiyomaru finally to Natsuki. “She’s Soba-sama, we’ll be fine. Right, Haru?”

“Are they dead?” Harutoga knelt by his father. He sniffed Sesshomaru’s nose, “is Chichiue dead?”

“No, little one,” Gobodo-sama stroked the child’s hair, one golden eye and one brown eye stared back at her. “He’s just sleeping.”

“I brought something for them, books,” Kagome removed a bag from her shoulder. “We’ll go. We flew here, how do we get down?”

“Why don’t you jump and kill yourselves?” Gobodo-sama offered.

“Who pissed in her coffee?” Kagome rolled her eyes.

“I’ll take you, come,” Jaken motioned with his head, “follow me. We’ll take Aun. Then I’ll return. This whole situation between Rin and Sesshomaru has her very upset, we should leave before she decides to make a meal out of you two.”

* * *

Rin awoke in a room alone. Her eyes were bleary and her breasts felt entirely too full. The sheets were silk, soft to the touch, white and gold. She was in a four poster bed in the middle of a gigantic room. She rubbed her eyes and looked out the window. She saw nothing but a bright blue sky and puffy white clouds. She glanced around the room, trying to figure out where she was. The ceilings were high and vaulted, the walls were painted in golds, reds and hues of white. The floor looked like marble. There was something familiar about this place. She pulled the golden sheet off her stomach and looked down. She was dressed in a gold yukata with the belt loosely tied. She opened it to reveal clean skin. “He did it…” she said to the silent room. All that was left was a diamond shaped scar from one end of her ribcage to the other. “Sesshomaru?” She stood up and walked towards the door.

Almost as soon as the name left her mouth, Gobodo-sama slammed the door open, arms folded over her mokomoko, eyes with a sheen of red around the rims and lips turned down. Rin backed away from her. Her yoki was overpowering the room, her anger apparent. “Now you call for him? He doesn’t want to see you.”

“Where am I?” Rin tried looking out the door, “where are my children?”

“They are safe. You are in my home, do you remember it?” The words were laced in bitterness.

Rin’s mouth went dry, “I remember it, how long was I asleep? Who is taking care of Taiyomaru? He must be so hungry, where is my baby?”

“Right here,” the sultry voice of Natsuki came into the room, she held Taiyomaru in one hand and Tsukimaru in the other, “they’ve been bonding. It’s been a bit since I fed him last,” she handed Taiyomaru to Rin.

“You fed my baby?” Rin’s eyes were like saucers.

“Yes, she did,” Gobodo-sama unfolded her arms. “Let me see Tsukimaru. He looks like his father, look at this face, he’ll start growing fangs any day now, I’ll add them to my collection.”

Rin stepped forward and took Taiyomaru from Natsuki’s hands. The baby immediately began to whine and rut against her breast. Rin went back to the bed, making herself comfortable, and latched the baby onto her breast. She winced in pain at first until he began sucking. Relief from the fullness came quickly. “Where is he?” Rin asked Sesshomaru’s mother.

“He doesn’t want to see you,” Gobodo-sama answered, “or you,” she looked at Natsuki.

“I don’t understand. If he doesn’t want to see me, why am I here?” Rin adjusted the baby in her lap and rubbed her heart. It still felt so warm, whole.

“He wouldn’t allow me to bring him here unless I brought you too,” Gobodo-sama’s eyes were cold as the golden orbs took in Rin.

“I see,” Rin chewed her bottom lip. Taiyomaru came off her breast, “I wish you would take from the other,” she whispered as she put him over her shoulder and tapped his back. He was chunky and smiling. She tickled his pointed ears, and rubbed his striped cheeks. “I feel fine, I guess I should prepare to leave. Where are Yuki and Harutoga?”

“In my garden playing,” Gobodo-sama answered. “Can you suddenly fly?” She bounced Tsukimaru in her arms and nuzzled his nose.

“I don’t understand, if he doesn’t want to see me, and you are obviously angry with me, why should I stay?”

“He will want to know you have recovered,” Natsuki said and pursed her lips. “He is very we-”

“Silence, Natsuki, you have caused enough damage for one lifetime,” Gobodo-sama hissed at her. “How much do you remember?” She handed Natsuki’s smaller baby back and strutted towards Rin. She towered over the human girl. Her skin alabaster white, her fangs slightly longer, looking regal in several layers of brightly colored kimonos.

“I…Touma’s Halberd pierced my back and stomach,” she told her, “and then everything went dark, and I saw In…” she stopped herself. She didn’t feel the need to share that vision with her mother in law. “I saw myself in the afterworld, and then when I came to, I talked to Sesshomaru? He saved me, somehow.”

“He saved you with his yoki, nearly killing himself in the process. Is that all you remember?”

“Should I remember more?” Rin was confused, she was trying to piece the conversation they had back together, but all she could remember was the heat of his blood seeping into the stab wound along her stomach, his yoki flooding her body through a... “He bonded me again?”

“It’s a weak bond, as long as it isn’t consummated, it will fade from him in several years. It was enough for him to sustain your life. Natsuki, I believe you owe Rin an explanation,” she raised an eyebrow at the young demoness, “and an apology. And you Rin, owe Natsuki your thanks, in kindness, and compassion, she allowed her yoki to enter my son, so that he could sustain your life while you healed without forfeiting his own.”

Natsuki came forward with her baby in her arms and sat down on the bed next to Rin. “It’s my fault. All of this. My father brought me here almost a year ago. He told me that he believed I would be a match for Sesshomaru. Gobodo-sama warned us that I shouldn’t approach him for at least fifty or sixty years. She would have had me wait a hundred, and I was fine with it until I was approached by Touma. He told me that you were giving him a litter of hanyous, and that they would inherit his land leaving me with nothing for my children. I hated humans, I’m still not fond of them. I agreed to approach him. I didn’t know it was the day you were birthing your child, I didn’t know…I’m so sorry, I didn’t know Touma would try to kill you and your children. He told me he cared for his brother and that if I did this, you would leave him and it would be what was best for him. I see now it’s not. I’m so sorry. I know you can never forgive me. I’m so stupid, I was so jealous of how he loved you. I mean nothing to him,” she hung her head.

“You don’t mean nothing to him,” Gobodo-sama corrected, “you simply don’t need love when you are immortal, not at first, the love comes with time. Know this, had you waited as I instructed, you would have thought him to be cold, callous as his reputation dictated. Now you know that he is capable of a much deeper love, and that love will never be yours. It’s hers, and Rin, you…I cannot forgive you for what you did to him. And don’t tell me that he was unfaithful because he was simply following his instincts. You ripped your bond from him, you hid his children from him, you broke his heart.”

Rin’s eyes burned with unshed tears, she felt a lump in her throat. “You mean he did this to…”

“Touma did this to separate you from Sesshomaru. To destroy you from the inside out and to kill you without his older brother’s interference. I should have culled that child the moment he was born,” she clenched her fists. “He is even colder and more manipulative than Sesshomaru was.”

Rin wiped her eyes and held her baby close to her chest. “He destroyed us?” Her heart felt heavy and broken all over again.

“Yes, and you fell for it,” Gobodo-sama came forward. “You hurt my son and for that I cannot forgive you. If you weren’t the mother of my grandchildren your blood would be on the floor.” She ran a razor sharp claw under Rin’s chin digging it in enough to sting. “Do not try to find him, nor you, Natsuki.” Gobodo-sama rose and left the room, her blue coat trailing behind her.

Rin began to shake, “I thought he…”

“It’s a powerful feeling. I’m not sure you can understand it,” Natsuki pat Rin’s shoulder, “it sucks you in. It doesn’t give you a chance to say no. I was jealous because I saw that he loved you, even when his bond to you was broken, he returned to you. He looked for you every night. I was nothing but a relief to him.”

Rin wiped her nose. “I need to see him.”

“She will kill you,” Natsuki warned her.

“I don’t care if she does. At least I know someone will take care of Taiyomaru. I need to see him, do you know where he is?” Rin stood up and walked towards the door. She held her baby son in one arm and looked up and down the long corridor lined with doors. “Please? Natsuki, can you smell him?”

Natsuki’s cobalt blue kimono rustled as she walked towards the door. She closed her eyes and touched her heart. “I can sense him, he’s still sleeping. He’s very weak, Lady Rin. Perhaps now isn’t the best time.”

“I don’t understand, please, I need to see him. This all happened because you wouldn’t wait half a century for me to die, tell me where my love is!” Rin demanded.

Natsuki held a finger to her mouth. She looked down the hallway, then up and sniffed the air. “She can’t kill both of us, can she? This way, he’s in a room two floors up, at the end of the hall. He doesn’t look well, Rin. He was injured in the fight, and because he used his yoki to heal you, he was unable to use it to heal himself. That’s why she brought him here. If his enemies wanted to destroy him…”

“Now would be the chance,” Rin searched the room. She found the pile of her clothes on the floor near the bed. She ran over to them and dug through the pockets of the tattered kimono she had worn. She found a shell inside, “this is an ointment that treats yokai injuries, it will help him. Take me to his room.” 

“Rin,” Hisato turned around at the door. “She said not to find him.”

“I don’t care, Hisato,” Rin tried to brush past him. He grabbed her by the shoulders.

“What would you do, Hisato? If she was hurt? If this happened to you two?” Rin asked him.

He sighed, “I’d go to her. I will go to the garden and claim that I have no idea what you are doing. Make it quick, she checks on him often.”

“Is it that bad?” Rin glanced at Natsuki.

Natsuki nodded her head, “I’m not sure he can recover.” She motioned for Rin to follow her. They walked down a long hallway to a grand staircase with a balcony that allowed them to see all the way to the top floor of the castle and back down to the bottom. The railings were made from solid copper with iron bases. Natsuki led her up the stairs and down the hallway again to a room on the end. Jaken waited outside the door muttering to himself.

“You can’t go in there, he doesn’t want visitors,” Jaken waved his staff at them.

“Jaken,” Rin knelt down and touched his shoulder, “I need to see him.”

“You know how he is when he is injured Rin, you know his pride,” Jaken muttered.

“I don’t care about his pride. I’ve seen him so injured he can’t move before. Move out of the way Jaken, or I’ll toss you out of the way,” she threatened him.

“He’s going to fire me,” Jaken stepped aside.

“No he won’t, you’re family,” she kissed the top of his head.

The door was slightly ajar. Rin peered inside. Her eyes widened, one side of his face was bruised. He lay on his back with his mokomoko looped behind him. His hair somehow looked as pristine as ever, and his eyes were tightly closed. She took in his chest, the chest that made her heart pound and her knees weak. It was battered in bruises with one long gash that went from shoulder to shoulder under his collar bone. He had a forest green blanket over his legs. Sesshomaru’s skin seemed paler than usual. “Will you take Taiyomaru for me?” Rin asked Natsuki.

“Yes, but…would you let me see him first?” Natsuki’s heart yearned for just one moment of closeness to him. “He hasn’t let me near him since we came here, if I could get close enough I could heal him. Well, mostly, the injuries are extensive, but he hasn’t let me near.”

“He’s so stubborn,” Rin rolled her eyes, “especially when he is hurt. I’m not sure I can stand to see you two together right now, and he won’t be able to fight me in his current state,” Rin admitted, “let me be alone with him for a while, please?”

Natsuki nodded her head, “Lady Rin…I’m sorry, I really am.”

“When you see him, don’t give him the choice to reject your offer to heal him. He is too full of pride to ask.” Rin tried to smile. She handed her baby to Natsuki and tried to step as quietly as possible into the room. Sesshomaru seemed as if he was sound asleep. It reminded Rin of their meeting, so long ago when things between them weren’t so complicated and she was just a little girl. His face lay to the right, showing a large gash down the side of his cheek. Rin’s teeth dug into her bottom lip as she walked slowly towards him. She wasn’t sure if he was really sleeping or not. She picked up his left hand in her own and caressed the stripes over his wrist. She took out the shell from her pocket. As soon as the lid opened, so did Sesshomaru’s eyes. They lazily tracked to Rin, he pulled his hand back from hers. “Leave,” his voice was hoarse.

“No,” Rin sat down on the bed next to him. The bed was wide enough for her to scoot over and sit Indian style by his head. He was propped on his mokomoko and pillows, so he was half sitting. She dipped her fingers into the yellow cream and rubbed it in slow circles over his chest working the cream in. When she finished one area she moved onto the next, then down his stomach.

Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist and attempted to push it off him. “Stop and leave.”

“No,” she muttered, “I…I need to talk to you.”

“We’ve already spoken. The bond I created was weak, in time it will dissipate, we are no longer tied to one another,” he grunted, trying to fight Rin pushing his hand down.

Rin climbed onto his lap, “I was going to do this the easy way and ask if we can talk. I see it needs to be like this, and if I’m right, you aren’t in the position to fight with me.” She straddled his lap and forced both his hands down, “you will let me speak if I have to sit on you to make you.”

“Rin, please,” Sesshomaru refused to look at her. “It’s enough. I saved your life, it’s over.”

“It’s not over,” she let go of his wrists and cupped his chin in her hands, she pursed her lips thinking of what she wanted to say. Toga’s visions were still embedded in her memory as if they had just happened. Sesshomaru’s arms strained against hers, unable to move her from his lap. “I’m sorry,” she whispered quietly, “I’m so sorry,” her chin touched her chest, “I didn’t know, and now everything between us…”

“It’s over,” Sesshomaru repeated himself.

She picked up the shell again and began rubbing the cream over his stomach, down his muscles. He flinched in response to her touch and grunted in pain. “I’m sorry it hurts. If you would let Natsuki near you, she could ease this for you.”

“Rin, leave,” he repeated himself.

“No,” she continued rubbing the cream over his lower rib cage and up the left side of his body. She put more on her finger and slid it into the cut on his cheek and the one over his chest. He winced as the cream entered the open gash.

“Then speak,” he raised an eyebrow. He patted the bed next to him.

“I’m sorry,” she slid off his lap and sat next to him, “I…I don’t know what else I am supposed to say. You hurt me, by taking another, but I know you had no choice, and…”

“You took my children from me, you ripped our bond from my chest. You cleansed yourself of my yoki without allowing me the benefit to explain,” he was livid and gruff. “The words you spoke to this Sesshomaru,” he rubbed his chest.

“Just stop talking, I know what I did was wrong. The way I treated you was horrible. You were right, I do regret the things I said. Your mother told me this was all Touma,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “he did this to tear us apart, and he did. And…”

“Now that you know, you feel apologetic as if that would fix it?” The whites of his eyes were turning red.

“You’re angry with me,” she rubbed her fingers nervously, “I deserve that. It’s just…I don’t know what to say, if I had known it was all part of a plot I wouldn’t have left, but that’s not true. I’m human…”

“I’m not. You were right Rin, we rushed into this relationship. It was a mistake. Neither you nor I thought it through clearly before we became a family, were a family,” he attempted to lift himself higher onto the pillows. He was loth to admit that the muscles in his stomach felt less pain than before and the hue of skin was slowly changing from black and blue to brown and yellow.

“But we are a family, no matter what happens between us. We have children, Sesshomaru. We have three children together, children that were created in love. Our love,” she touched his heart, no longer covered with a scar, with the palm of her hand.

“It’s over,” he repeated himself.

“It’s not,” she closed her eyes, “I know nothing I say can make up for the last four and a half months, but,” she paused again and breathed deeply, “I saw your father.”

“What?” He gasped, his eyes opened wide as globes.

“When the Halberd went into my stomach, when I was dying, when you thought I was dead. If I mean nothing to you, why would you sustain my life at the cost of your own?”

Sesshomaru turned away and avoided her gaze. “What did he tell you?”

“More like what he showed me. He said that between you and I, he is getting no rest in the afterlife. He gave me something else, but I’m…I don’t know how to show it to you,” Rin scooted closer to his face. She pulled his chin back to her own, “Sesshomaru?”

He tenderly took her hands in his own. “It’s over.”

“Sesshomaru, who will know to massage your shoulders when you come home from battle? That washing your body relaxes you? That you enjoy the quiet of nature and sitting under trees and that nothing brings you more pride than watching your children grow, or that inside you have more love than a thousand men? Who will remember how strong you were when you only had one arm and can claim that they brought out the best in you, your true power? Who will greet you when you come home? Who will ever love you as much as I?”

Sesshomaru’s eyes met Rin’s and his chest shivered. If Rin didn’t know any better, she would have thought he was near tears. “It’s done,” his voice held less conviction than it did before.

“One soul,” she touched his chest with the palm of her hand again. She felt her hand warm.

“It won’t work,” he set his hand on top of hers intending to remove it when he felt a tepid flame move from her hand to his. His eyes widened, he knew that feeling, that warmth, the love, trust and faith that had been there before. Curiously he pressed the palm of his hand against her chest. “Our soul,” he responded as the light intensified. His hand glowed white against her breast. The feeling of their bond flushed into his body. “He gave it to you.” He wasn’t asking, he could feel it, their bond burned heat within her heart. He felt an urge to draw it out of her, to bring it back to its proper place within his own heart.

“He said he won’t catch it again,” Rin looked confused at the light pulsating in his hand, “why won’t it go back to you?”

“I have to accept it,” he removed his hand from her heart. “Leave.”

“But-”

“Leave!” he roared at her.

“I’m not your heart anymore?” Her lips shivered.

“Just go,” his hands clenched at his sides.

“Okay, I’ll leave the cream here,” she set it down on the stand next to his bed and tried to push back her tears. She refused to look at him when she said, “I’m sorry, I love you.” She fled towards the door.

“Rin,” he called as she opened it.

She stopped, her fingers trembling against the handle. She stared into the hallway. Her head was feeling light again. She needed to eat something.

“How could you take them from me? Yuki, Harutoga, Taiyomaru?”

“I…couldn’t live without them,” her voice was barely above a whisper.

“And you thought I could? Without them? Without you? In the home I built for us? Do you know how quiet it is without them? How lonely it is without you to greet me?”

“I’m sorry,” her cheeks red, her eyes bleeding tears. 

“Is that all you can say?” He dared to look at Rin still facing the hallway.

“I don’t know what else to say, I thought…”

“That I didn’t love you? That you couldn’t make this Sesshomaru happy? Satisfied? You pleased me in so many ways. You gave me more than she ever will. Rin, look at me, turn around,” he wished he could move. His muscles were still burning, even adjusting his body felt like he was being burned alive. His heart ached for the light in her breast.

Rin slowly turned to face him, her eyes downcast against the white floor. She shuffled her feet uncomfortably, feeling him look at her.

“Look at me,” he repeated himself, “look in my eyes.”

Rin raised her eyes to look at him.

“Was this the action of a selfish carnal being who only cares about himself?” He removed his haori, painfully pulling himself up, revealing bruises down his arms, over his back. His pants were bloodstained around his hips. “Were bringing you back with Tenseiga, taking on the burden of a child while I hunted Naraku, saving your life, giving you gifts in Kaede’s village, bonding you, building you a home, giving you children, loving you, acts of a selfish carnal being who only cared about himself?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Sustaining your life, so I didn’t have to tell our children their mother died?”

“No…”

“In 900 years, you were the first woman…person I loved. I do not regret our love. You will give this Sesshomaru time to consider the gift Chichiue gave us.” He lay back down against the pillows and his mokomoko.

“Okay,” Rin wrung the sleeve of her kimono, “I’m well now. I should probably go home.”

“You and my children will stay.”

“Why?” Rin was beginning to feel annoyed. Her heart ached, but she wasn’t sure she could stay in this castle while Sesshomaru decided what would happen between them. “Let me go home. You don’t need me here to make a decision. You know where to find us.” She tried telling her body it needed to stay upright, but there were specks in her vision.

He shook his head. “You will not take them from me again. I may not be able to stand, but you cannot fly, and without my permission, no one will allow you to leave…they miss their Chichiue. Even Taiyomaru.” Sesshomaru closed his eyes. “He’s crying, go to him.”

Rin couldn’t hear anything. “Great, I’m stuck here,” she muttered as she moved to the door.

“Yes, you are, with me, where you belong,” Sesshomaru muttered. He touched his hand, caressing his own palm.  _ You caught it again, Chichiue? Do you know this Sesshomaru so well?  _ The warmth that pulsated against his hand, the tenderness that was his Rin, his father knew how irresistible it was to him. How he craved the depth of knowledge they shared, the truth of their moments together.

Just as she was about to open the door, Rin collapsed on the floor. Sesshomaru saw it coming, her knees buckling, her hand going to her head. He cursed loudly, he didn’t have the strength to move from the bed. “Hisato,” he could smell the demon outside the door.

“Yes,” he poked his head in. “Rin!” He rushed forward and lifted her up.

“Bring her to me,” Sesshomaru pat the side of the bed. As soon as she was next to him, he placed a hand on her shoulder. If the bond were stronger, it wouldn’t feel like he was pushing past a dam to explore the inside of her body, he felt like passing out, he didn’t have enough strength for this. “She’s hungry.” He removed his hand, “take her back to her room.”

Hisato picked her back up. “Yes, Sesshomaru-sama.”

“She likes rice, vegetables and fish,” Sesshomaru said.

“I’ll see that she gets it.”

“And tea,” he added, “mint tea,” the words came out tiredly.

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama.” Hisato left the room with Rin in his arms.

As soon as the door shut, Natsuki came in. She held both babies in her arms. Sesshomaru just glared at her. “Leave. This Sesshomaru has no need for you.”

“This Natsuki does, Taiyomaru is restless,” she bounced the child in one arm, while Tsukimaru slept in the other. She brought both babies to Sesshomaru side and set them down next to him.

He offered his clawed finger to Taiyomaru. Taiyomaru took it and bit down on the tip. “You missed Chichiue,” he closed his eyes.

Natsuki did not wait for him to protest this time. She sat down on his lap, straddling his legs, she pulled his lips to hers. He was too weak to resist. She refused to let him pull away. She lowered her kimono enough to reveal one of her small mounds, and placed his hand on it, knowing that it would arouse his senses. “Enough for me to heal you,” she pulled his mouth back to hers. There was something about intimate contact that broadened the bond. She arched her back into his palm.

“It won’t be enough,” he pulled his head back. “And you can’t drain yourself,” he let his fingers tease the pink flower of her breast.

“There is a way it could be more…let me ease your pain,” She insisted.

“No, I will not make love to you,” he replied. He felt her yoki entering him, flushing up to his head, draining down his body, extending to his arms and legs down to his toes and fingers. Her mouth met his again, intensifying their interaction. He groaned, annoyed that his body was responding.

She pulled away from him and sat back on her haunches with a grin on her face, “I won’t do that again, it’s too tempting,” she wiped his mouth her thumb, “the bruising is less, your cuts are smaller.”

“You need to rest,” he caressed her cheek, “you have to be strong for Tsukimaru.”

“Yes, I do,” she lowered her head, “she’s right you know. Your mother. I’m left craving closeness to you. I should have waited.”

“It would have been better,” he pulled her head beneath his chin, and pulled one hand to his chest. He refused to tell her that he was in less pain than before, he might even try standing after she left. She was still exhausted from aiding him in sustaining Rin’s life. “Rest.” He instructed her.

“Shouldn’t I leave?” she asked.

“No,” he replied, wondering what Rin would think if she saw them together. If he didn’t give her this much, Natsuki would continue to call for him. He stroked her white hair and rubbed her shoulder. The two babies on his other side clasped hands together. Tsukimaru was two and half months, Taiyomaru four and a half. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and let his lips rest on top of Natsuki’s head. He had yet to thank her, and most likely wouldn’t, for what she had done to save Rin. “Stop calling for me.”

“Make love to me one last time and I will,” Natsuki traced the lines of his chest.

“No,” he felt his instincts reeling against him. “For you, this will be enough. You may spend the next hour in my arms, after that you will cease trying to draw this Sesshomaru to you.”

Natsuki swallowed the lump in her throat. “Will you love me one day? Or maybe even like me a little?”

“Silence,” he barked, “give me your lips,” he pulled Natsuki’s mouth to his. It was beneath him to thank her for keeping his children safe, for giving him the power to maintain Rin’s life, but for that he could at least give her this. As their lips touched, he filled her with a sense of peace, safety and gratitude. She moved closer to him, holding his cheek in her hands. She sighed into the long luxurious kiss. He was growing fond of her, and he also tried to express that feeling through his yoki and the meeting of their mouths. When he pulled back he tickled her chin. “You are an idiot, child. This Sesshomaru’s heart already belongs to another. I will continue to visit Tsukimaru.”

“Will you still take him, when he is weaned?”

“He will age slower than my other children, I will come for you and he, after her passing.” He rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Until then, stay here.”

“One day, I won’t be able to resist this thing that ties us together,” she raised a heated eyebrow to him.

“On that day, I will quench your fire, but that day is not now. Rest, Natsuki,” he pulled her head down. When she was about to open her mouth again, he placed his finger on her lips. “Silence.” He pushed her closer to his chest and tenderly ran his claws up and down her spine. “Silence,” he repeated himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and kudo


	18. Warmth in the Middle of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Sesshomaru finally talk about what happened between them. Will they reconcile.
> 
> I shot this over to my beta way late, but I figure we can wait for grammar and spelling to get fixed or just post...I say post...post dammit!!
> 
> And please forgive the formatting...I am too lazy to make it match now...I know horrible but whatever...it's the times, I'll come back and fix it later.

Rin woke up to little hands pawing at the front of her yukata. Without fully waking up, she pulled Taiyomaru to her breast and let him eat. It looked as if the sun was setting. In each room of the castle there was a giant window with a bench wall to wall. She didn’t try standing this time. Next to her bed rest a tray of food, chopsticks, fish, vegetables and rice with a kettle full of hot water. She smelled fresh mint leaves.  _ He remembered.  _ Jaken ran into the room with Yuki and Harutoga behind him. “Insolent children!” he yelled at them. “I told you she was sleeping!”

Yuki and Harutoga both jumped onto the bed with their mother. “She’s awake.” Harutoga stuck his tongue out at Jaken. “I’m glad you’re okay Ka-san,” he hugged her.

She hugged him back, “I’m okay now,” she said just as the baby finished eating. She handed him to Yuki, “go take him to your father, I assume you know where he is,” Rin raised an eyebrow.

“Chichiue is still very weak, Ka-san,” Harutoga told her.

“It’s fine,” Rin tickled his ear, “I need to eat, and look, he’s already starting to cry, he never calms down for me.”

Yuki walked out of the room with Taiyomaru. Rin sat up and devoured her food. “I’m happy to see you awake, Rin,” Jaken said.

“I’m feeling better,” Rin answered, “I can’t believe he did it. I thought I was dead for sure.”

“So did I, can I show you what Jaken taught me?” Harutoga leapt out of the room, then came running back with a book in his hand. “I know some letters now want to see?”

“Yes, Harutoga, show me,” Rin curled up in her bed with Harutoga. “Where did you get this book?” She asked Harutoga.

“Obasan and Ojisan came at the end of the battle. You should have seen it. Obasan blasted that evil yokai with the biggest pink ball. That’s what Chichiue said. It made my skin tingle all the way over where our hut is,” he pointed at the words, “that one means house and this one means family.” He smiled.

* * *

Yuki had the same idea. Before Kagome left, she gave Yuki a book to read. Yuki sat next to her father in his bed with it. Her legs were crossed and her chin was in her hands. She read out loud to her father, “Harry Potter…that’s funny,” she said to her father, “what’s this word Chichiue?” She pointed to one of the symbols.

“Scar,” he said while holding Taiyomaru.

“He had a lightning scar on his forehead. It was from an evil wizard named…what’s this one?”

Sesshomaru looked at the symbol. “I don’t know…Vold…eee…morte, Voldeeeemorte, what is this book?”

“She said it’s a kids story from her time, about a boy who was a wizard.”

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.“Her time sounds strange.”

“Think I’m alive there?” Yuki asked.

“If you are, you are old,” he tickled her cheek, “keep reading, do they defeat the wizard?”

“I don’t know. She said it’s seven books long,” Yuki flipped the next page. “She’ll bring the next one when they come to visit. Are you still mad at them?”

Sesshomaru growled softly.

_ Yep…still mad.  _ Yuki thought to herself, “Taisho and Sota want to come back, are you going to kill them?”

Sesshomaru chuckled, “keep reading. What happened with this Voldeemorte?”

“Lord Voldeemorte,” Yuki said.

“Why is he a Lord? Does he have his own lands?”

“No,” Yuki flipped ahead a few pages to check.

“Were his parents of royal blood?”

“It doesn’t say,” she crinkled her nose.

“Some Lord…” Sesshomaru grumbled.

“Why are you a Lord?” She asked him.

“I inherited the title from my father, just as you will inherit it from me and I have lands,” he answered as if it were natural.

“Could you defeat a wizard?” She asked her father.

“Easily,” he flicked his eyebrows up.

“He kills Harry’s parents,” she told him. “Hmm, baka, his mom just stood there and took it. If it were me, I would slice his throat open and pump him full of dokkasu.”

“A prudent plan,” he pat her back proudly.

“What would you do if he tried to hit with you a spell?”

“Impossible, Bakusaiga would end it before that.”

“What if you didn’t have Bakusaiga?”

“Tenseiga’s barrier would protect this Sesshomaru.”

“Is Tsukimaru going to get Bakusaiga when you die?” Golden eyes searched her father’s.

He closed his eyes and sighed, he had two swords and four children. Although Yuki and Harutoga had their own waiting at his house, he thought back to his dealings with Inuyasha, “no.” He would not allow them to fight over their swords the way he and Inuyasha did.

“Then who will get it?”

“Taiyomaru, you already have a sword waiting from you, made from this Sesshomaru.”

“Can I have it now?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Her face reflected offense.

“Keep reading,” he answered, bouncing Taiyomaru on his knees.

“Then who gets Tenseiga?” She whined.

“Tsukimaru,” his pure blooded son would need to learn compassion the way he did.

“Awww…” she grumped, returning to her book. “Why do they get everything?”

“You have a sword, when you are old enough to use it, you will see it’s just as powerful as theirs, and you will leave behind a legacy of your own.” He pulled her painfully onto his chest, “silly child.”

She sniffed his shirt and bolted upright. She pawed at the front of his open haori and smelled down his arms, “Ka-san was here.”

He moved Taiyomaru to his right shoulder, folding over part of his mokomoko while he did.

“Are you getting back together?” Her eyes were so full of hope it was almost agonizing for him.

“I don’t know,” he adjusted his back against his mokomoko, “keep reading.” He needed to sleep, his body was stitching itself back together at a snail’s pace.

* * *

Rin woke up in the middle of the night to Taiyomaru scratching at her chest. She fed him, already feeling better from the food she ate earlier. All that was left, was a slight bump on the back of her head from collapsing on the floor in Sesshomaru’s room. When the little infant was done nursing, she sat him upright and patted his back until little milk bubbles formed on his tiny lips. Instead of relaxing and giving into to sleep he immediately started crying. Rin rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan. She forced herself out of bed, her legs feeling like they wanted to buckle again, her head light. She paced in a large circle around the room. She walked up and down the window watching the wisps of light clouds pass by and the stars form in the sky. The castle was silent except for the cries of her child. Yuki and Harutoga were in a room near Gobodo-sama’s wing. This was apparently Sesshomaru’s wing from when he was a young boy.

Taiyomaru continued, Rin tried bouncing him, singing to him and finally chose to go for a walk up and down the hallway. She paced herself, she was exhausted, she just wanted to sleep, “I hope you did this for Natsuki,” she kissed his puffy stripped cheek.

“He did,” she heard a voice from above, “bring him to me.”

Rin looked up at the railing two floors above her. Sesshomaru leaned heavily on the banister. He was limping back to his room. Rin breathed deeply and decided to follow him up. She found the grand staircase and went up, careful with her steps. There was a soreness around the scar on her stomach and stiffness in her legs as if she was getting her strength back. Her thighs stung from the gashes left behind by Touma. She started shivering as she made her way down to the end of the hallway where Sesshomaru was already back in bed. The room was dark, and freezing. Her hands shook while she passed the baby over, “I’m going back to bed,” she told him. “It’s so cold.” Before she could make it more than four paces, she felt something warm and fluffy wind itself around her waist, “I’m tired, Sesshomaru and I’m freezing, it’s so cold up here.” She meant up in the sky, it was Spring down below.

The fluff tugged on her waist. Taiyomaru quieted. “Get in bed with me,” he said simply.

She tried to remove his tail from her waist, only for it to tighten and tug again, “you can’t pull me in can you?” It almost made her giddy that for once she was stronger than he was. “And of course you won’t admit it, because you’re too arrogant to say that you are that weak right now.” She felt another stiff tug from his mokomoko. “Fine,” she rolled her eyes. Rin lifted his thin sheet and sat down next to his chest.

“Lay down,” he had already placed Taiyomaru in his mokomoko on the other side. He pulled her head towards his shoulder. He wore a plain white haori that was open revealing his bruised and battered body.

“I’m not…” she tried to resist, “I,” she tried to get out.

He helped her lay down. When she didn’t move closer to him, he moved closer to her until she was pressed against his chest. His heat felt like heaven. He held one of her hands. He turned slightly so more of her body would be against his bare chest, “you’re freezing. Let me warm you,” his voice was deeper, more throatier than usual.

“I could take a bath, you don’t have to,” his finger was on her lips. “What are we doing, Sesshomaru? Please…please don’t give me false hopes,” she tried to stop her heart from fluttering.

“Your heart is pounding for me,” he smiled softly, “right now, we are two friends, learning to trust each other again,” he intertwined his fingers in hers. He let his mokomoko lay against her back. “As for your hopes,” his nose ran over hers, he couldn’t help it, he missed her smell, their smell. His lips ached to be against hers, to warm hers, “you gave this Sesshomaru false hope. Sharing your body with me, then sending me away.”

“Oh, that,” she thought back to the last time they had made love all those months before. She couldn’t figure out why she had allowed him to do that, why she hadn’t stopped him. It felt amazing, but that wasn’t a good reason, she remembered what Toga had shown her, “because it made me feel whole again. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

“You should have. It was easier walking away, knowing we parted on happier terms,” he brushed his nose over her lips.

“I hurt you.”

He nodded, his nose brushing along her cheek as he did. “I hurt you,” he whispered.

“What happens now?” Rin was hypnotized by his voice, the way he subtly brushed his face against hers.

“We sleep,” he pulled her closer. “You smell like him,” he said when his nose came to her hair. He recalled what she looked like when he found her in the forest. “Did he violate you?”

“He tried, I…I don’t want to think about it before I fall asleep, can we talk about it another time?” She let her hand rest against Sesshomaru’s chest, the heat from his skin melting the cold in her fingers. “It’s not fair, he quiets for you.”

“I’m his father.”

“I’m his mother and I feed and change him, you just hold him.”

“I change him.”

“No you don’t, you make Yuki do it,” she laughed, “this feels good.” She curled closer against his chest. She nuzzled her nose into his neck.

“It does, Rin?” He desperately wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips where they were meant to be, next to his, warmed by his breath.

Rin felt the same, she didn’t need him to finish the sentence, she pulled his face to hers and caught him in a heated kiss. He tenderly dipped his tongue into her mouth, she opened for him turning her head slightly to give him better access. She ran her hands through his hair, he let his hand rest over her heart. The light bled into his fingertips again. It flooded his senses, the burning fire that was their love, the trust that had been broken, the wholeness. He stopped short of calling it back. In that moment he only wanted to feel it again. “Why won’t you take it?” She pulled away from him.

“We will discuss it, when we are both rested,” he assured her.

“Do you want it?”

“When we are rested.”

“I should go downstairs,” Rin tried to get up.

He grabbed her shoulder, “stay.”

She eyed him curiously, “you’re too weak to bring him back to me when he gets hungry aren’t you”

He inclined his head.

“Can’t you fly?”

“Not yet.”

“Stairs?”

He shook his head.

“It’s that bad?”

“All my strength, I gave to you,” he pulled Rin back down to him, “now rest with me, my heart.”

Rin smiled like a teenager, “I’m still your heart?”

“Always,” he sniffed her hair and growled, “bastard.”

“What is it with him and trying to do that?”

“Violating what is mine, it’s the greatest insult, one inu-yokai could do to another. Is that where the scratches on your thigh came from?”

“Yes, please don’t make me talk about it,” she asked him again, “I did my best. I kept him from going all the way…I don’t want to remember what it felt like, his hands on me like that.”

“Then don’t,” Sesshomaru removed Taiyomaru. He set the sleeping baby on his other side in a padded basket. He turned so Rin was against his chest, flush against his warmth, “remember my hands. Where did he touch you?”

“Here,” she moved his hand to the marks on her inner thigh. His fingers caressed the fabric, running from her knee right below her heat, “and inside.” She flushed with humiliation. She tensed as his hand travelled up, and relaxed when it went down. Sesshomaru tucked his left hand around Rin’s waist and the right continued rubbing the inside of her leg, each time it travelled up, she tensed, “sorry.”

“It’s my hand,” he assured her. “The cuts haven’t healed yet?”

“Not yet, when…how long ago was it?” Her body firmed as his hand went up.

“Almost a week,” he rested his head against hers.

“I thought you wouldn’t come for me,” she whispered.

“I’ll always come for you. It’s my hand,” Sesshomaru breathed against her neck, he let his hand glide up her thigh again, nimbly parting her yukata. As soon as his fingers touched one of the healing lacerations on her thigh, she grabbed his wrist, her scent spiked in fear, her eyes dilated, “that’s enough for tonight,” he pulled his hand back. “Stay with me tonight,” he kissed the nape of her neck. “Stay.”

Rin didn’t answer. She curled tighter into him accepting his embrace. She finally stopped shivering from the cold and allowed her dreams to take her. She was safe.

* * *

It was the tang of fear that woke him several hours into the night. He slept on his side, Taiyomaru hugged against his chest. His dark haired infant snored lightly in his sleep. He could hear her staggered breaths, smell the sweat forming on her skin. He opened his tired golden eyes. He tried not to place meaning on the position he woke up in. He was turned away from her, her back inches from his. In the past, she would have had her back against his chest, or their stomachs would be melded together, they never woke up like this. He comforted himself, that at least in his sleep, somehow he had pulled Taiyomaru from the basket next to him and tucked the infant into his warmth and that Rin was still huddled into his Mokomoko.

There were no words to her cries. Just soft sobs and quiet pleas. His eyes were watering too often these days. He rolled over cautiously. Rin had not had a nightmare in two years, if he didn’t count the ones the Healer had given her and the ones afterward. She rested peacefully in his arms, in their home, the ghosts of her childhood finally banished from her mind. He considered whether or not to stir her. If she behaved how she did in the past, in his current state, he was liable to take a beating from her. He would not be able to ward off her blows. He moved the hair from the right side of her neck and cringed when he saw the indentations on her neck. 

Four sharp points met the joint of her neck, in between dappled deep lacerations. He growled in fury. In an older, more ancient time, Inu-Yokai marked their mates with bites to the necks or wrists as a sign of ownership. It was never recommended in human-yokai relationships, and ceased a millennia ago. The mark did little to protect a soulmate. It gave off the scent of the one to whom it belonged, but it did not stop enemies from coming. It was Inu No Taisho who ended marking mates. It was the yoki inside the mate and the spiritual bond when wielded properly that truly protected the  _ she _ . Touma’s final wish was to ensure that Sesshomaru knew who had violated her. He feathered his fingers across the still fresh mark on her shoulder. A week and it had not healed completely, not yet. He closed his eyes and gathered the small amount of yoki he had available to him. He would not leave Touma’s mark on her. He pressed his lips tepidly to her shivering skin,  _ believe it is me, Rin, let me remove this mark from you. _ His yoki rose, he forced it through the ever pathetic bond that existed between them. It was like pushing through the eye of a needle, the bond was not sealed properly, the flood gates they had before were closed. Using his yoki like this made his skin crawl and his stomach sick. He was already empty, this wasn’t helping. He gazed on as the mark faded into to supple, fresh skin.

Rin continued moaning in her sleep, crying quietly. He feared waking her, his body could not take another beating. He turned over and roused his infant son from his sleep, he placed the child by Rin’s breast, brushing his knuckles over it as he did. He quieted his arousal, she still smelled like his, even if the bond was incomplete. “Taiyomaru, wake her, wake Ka-san,” he tickled the baby’s chin. He rolled away from Rin.

The baby cooed and clucked. He licked the roof of his mouth and pawed at the front of his mother’s yukata. Sesshomaru listened to the familiar startle, the jolt of her body as she came awake. Her heart beat in tachycardia, she gasped for air. There was a rustling he knew was the parting of her yukata and then the sucking sound he knew was Taiyomaru nursing. Then salty sorrow filled his nostrils. She was crying, even as she attempted to sob silently in the dark, he heard her. She did not call to him, or ask him for comfort. He tried again, to not place meaning on that. He had wanted to wait until he was fully healed to see her again, to prove to her that he could protect her, that his love was whole and complete. Somehow he had miscalculated that she would seek him out, weak and vulnerable. There was no going back now.

He rolled over so his chest was near her back. Her shoulder trembled in her golden yukata. She stroked Taiyomaru’s cheek as he fed, she sniffed quietly. “Rin?” He would not touch her until she gave him permission.

She didn’t answer, her tears continued.

“Forgive me,” he said to the shadows and the space between them, “I lack the strength and our bond the completion for me to comfort you with my yoki.”

“It’s okay,” she wiped her eyes attempting to stop the waterfall of tears shedding from her brown eyes. “Sesshomaru?”

“What?” He reached out and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Can you hold me?” Her voice was tender and tinged in pain.

“Yes,” he painfully scooted himself over until his chest was pressed against her back. He slid one hand underneath her head until she rest in the crook of his shoulder and the other around her waist. He placed his forehead over her moist cheek. “Your parents?”

“No,” she wiped her eyes again.

“Touma?” He helped remove the moisture from her cheeks with his fingers.

“Yes. Closer, please?” She begged him. She held the hand around her waist, lacing her fingers between his.

He lifted his knees against hers until their feet were tucked together, he wrapped his mokomoko around her front, “you’re safe now.”

“I know,” she said, “I’m so stupid.”

“We both are,” he let his lips touch her cheek.

“It was him, the man that kept seeing me…he brought Yuki back, the first time she ran away. I sensed yoki, he must have been masking it,” she sniffed wiping her eyes. “He said his name was Higan. I…thought I liked him, then he was Touma, and I couldn’t get him off me. I sent Hisato to protect the children, I couldn’t bare it if something happened to them. I should have known it was him. I should have recognized the feel of his yoki, his voice, something, he made himself completely different!”

“Shh,” he smoothed her hair, “shh my heart,” he held her. “I didn’t recognize his scent, the ocean marred my sense of smell. I didn’t detect his yoki, he hid himself well. Rin, I knew,” how many things had he kept from her?

“What?” She turned to look at him.

He closed his eyes, _no more lies, no more secrets between us,_ “Natsuki, when Tsukimaru was born, I knew he was the one that sent her to separate us. Mother sent Hisato to spy on Touma twenty five years ago, always concerned that he would follow through on his quest for vengeance. I knew he planned something, I did not do enough to protect you. Mother wanted to wait for him to spring the trap.”

“And I was the bait?” Rin scoffed, “I should hate you for that.”

“I would understand,” his stomach was cramping again.

“I don’t, closer, hold me,” she needed to feel his skin against hers.

“I can’t move any closer,” he pressed his lips against her cheek, “there’s no space left between us. Are you still cold?”

“No,” she nuzzled her baby.

“Do you need to feel my skin?” He knew, from the moment their relationship became more intense, she yearned to be close to his skin at night. It was why he always left his haori open when he was with her. He reached over her shoulder and pulled down the side of her yukata. He ran his nose down her skin. It bubbled with goosebumps. He helped her take her arm out and pulled the material down to expose her back. He ran his fingers down the scars on her upper back stopping at the one he gave her, when they lost their child. “Do you still think of the child?”

“Yes,” she rolled her back, into his chest again. She let out a sigh, feeling the heat of his chest and torso against her back. “Thank you,” she laced her fingers in his hand. They huddled together under the blanket for a time while Rin’s tears faded.

She held his hand, every so often he set his lips on her cheek and brushed her face with his nose. He missed her scent, he missed them together like this.

“Hideyoshi tried to kill them,” Rin’s tears finally stopped.

“I know,” Sesshomaru grinned proudly, “it was a good fight. Yuki is very proud of herself for holding him off. Harutoga whipped his legs. They fought well.”

“Because you taught them well,” she whispered.

“They are not the only ones who learned well. Touma is very powerful, he did not have his way with you,” he stroked her hair, “you were brave, you held him off until I came.” He touched her stomach where the Halberd pierced her, “you took a blow meant for this Sesshomaru. Could there be anything braver and stronger than that?”

“I do feel brave, finally,” her tears began anew. “Do you still love me? Is it over between us? I was so cruel to you.”

“How could it ever be over?” His tone was as low as hers, “how could my love ever cease?” Rin rolled over with the baby to nurse the other side. He pushed himself back to give her space. He cupped Rin’s face with one hand, he tangled his feet in hers. “You said it was a mistake,” he reminded her, “do you still believe that?”

“No,” she pulled his face towards hers.

He tasted her mouth. He let the kiss linger, moving his lips over hers, taking in her scent. He pulled away and rest his head, he was so tired. His body was taking too long to heal. “You held him off,” he said firmly.

“He bit me, it hurt, and it felt wrong,” she touched her shoulder, “it’s gone.”

“I healed it,” Sesshomaru stroked her cheek.

“You look so tired,” she returned the show of affection. She took Taiyomaru from her breast and sat up, “I’ll be back,” she wiped her eyes clean of the last tears in them, “he needs a new diaper.”

“I have, on the other side of the bed,” he pointed to the other side of them.

Rin chuckled, the first sign of happiness since she woke.

“Who do you think cared for him while you slept for nearly a week?”

“Your mother? Natsuki?”

“They helped, he would not quiet for them,” he pushed himself up slowly struggling against his aching muscles. He pulled cloths from the stand next to the bed down for Rin. He let Taiyomaru hold his fingers while Rin changed his diaper. When she was finished Sesshomaru picked his son up in his arms, “throw the dirty one in the hallway, someone will take it.”

She knew he didn’t like the smell. It was too strong for his nose. The floor felt like ice on her feet. She retied her yukata and ran to the door. She threw the diaper out and came back to his bed, “should we go downstairs?”

He sighed, “I thought it would be better if you saw me after I have regained my strength. It is comforting for you to be so close,” he pat the bed next to him, “and you are shivering again.” He set Taiyomaru in the basket on the other side of him, “sleep little one,” he touched his forehead to his son’s. He covered the baby with furs to keep him warm.

Rin pulled the cover up and slid into bed next to Sesshomaru. He turned on his side away from her. He felt her chilly fingers inch under his open haori, up his stomach and stop against his chest. “Do you want me to take it off?”

Rin swallowed, “turn around?”

He pulled himself up again, ignoring the embarrassment of struggling to move in front of her. She pulled the haori off his shoulders. He felt her hand run along his back. “Mmh,” he groaned when her hand touched his shoulders, they had taken a beating shielding her from Touma’s Halberd.

“How did this happen?” Her mouth trembled as her hand ran across his bruises. She couldn’t raise the tone of her voice, “what did you do?”

“How much do you remember?”

“I don’t know, it happened so quickly, I was struggling to get to the children, then you were there,” she moved towards his chest. She bore his weight as he lay back down on his pillows, “does it hurt for me to lay on your chest?”

“Avoid the cut,” he had never admitted pain before, he flinched when her head came down, “I found you, dazed in the forest, trying to escape him,” he sighed when she moved closer. Her hand sought his, “you were injured. He attacked, I shielded you with my body. That’s when you saw the blow coming,” he continued telling her of how he had saved her, bonding her weakly, enough to direct her body to heal itself, how his yoki was used to heal her instead of healing him.

“You could have died,” she said quietly.

“Yes, Natsuki leant me her strength, through our bond, my bond to her, she gave me strength and sustained my life, so I could sustain yours,” he rest his chin on her head, “I must sleep now.” He breathed heavily, “sleep with me, Rin,” he stroked her shoulder, “stay with me.”

“My love,” she picked up his chin, “I love you,” she said sleepily.

“And I you,” he replied, sleep already taking him. They held each other, throughout the night, finding comfort in each other at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudo and comment, let know what's going on in your lives and you're fairing with all this social isolation. We are going nuts here. All four kids are home, their school last minute put together online platforms and very quickly, the kids learned how to mute their teacher and eject them from class...it's kind of funny. Besides that we all got sick with minor colds, but in my state they are forcing all sick kids to the ER no matter the kind of illness and all businesses have been closed so it's all just nuts right now!


	19. The Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru and Rin wake together in the morning and steam ensues in the bath. However afterwards Sesshomaru gets a rather distressing message from below.
> 
> Sorry I forgot to post. I sent this to Laureninthesky who fixed my errors and was like yay she liked it and forgot to post.

For once Rin woke up before Sesshomaru. Taiyomaru’s whining and the sun coming into the room had her rubbing her eyes and groaning. Sesshomaru was still curled around her tightly. One hand was around her stomach and the other had fingers twisted into her hair. Her back was curved into his chest. His eyes were tightly closed, his breath coming out evenly and deeply. She winced, bringing herself up to a sitting position. Her stomach still felt sore. She leaned over Sesshomaru and picked up the little baby. “Good morning,” she said quietly, “are you hungry, Taiyomaru?”

He licked his lips in response. She fed him, thinking of what she would do for the day. She wanted a bath and she needed to check the wounds on her legs. There was something with her sword she wanted to test. It had only happened one other time that the sword had breathed dokkasu. She wanted to find out if she could call on it herself instead of it only happening when she was desperate. When little Taiyomaru was finished, she changed his diaper and set him near his father’s white fluffy mokomoko. “Don’t wake Chichiue,” she tapped his nose.

She felt a hand wrap around her wrist. “Chichiue is already awake, you both are very noisy,” his eyes remained closed.

“Go back to sleep,” Rin ran her thumb along the stripes on his face. He held his hand over hers, “I’m going to take a bath and maybe find clean clothes. Where is this garden of your mother’s?”

“I’ll ask the servants to bring you something clean to wear. Use my bathroom, it’s behind the red door,” he pointed at an intricately carved door to the foot of the bed. “Rin?”

“Huh?”

“I missed waking up to you,” he opened his eyes enough to see the mousiness of her hair. He ran his hand from the top of her head to the end of her wavy thick hair. “The garden is up the stairs at the end of the hallway. Be careful, there are strong updrafts this high in the sky and you can’t fly.”

Rin smiled. “You haven’t been using the cream, you’re so stubborn.” She picked it up. “Is your back injured?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Very well,” she opened the shell and rubbed the cream in circles over his bruised chest. “Natsuki was here, wasn’t she? The cream couldn’t heal your injuries this quickly.”

He nodded his head. His eyes held worry.

“I may not like her, or what she is to you now, but I’m glad she helped you,” she watched as he visibly relaxed.

“There will be a time when I will be drawn back to her,” he warned Rin. He winced and groaned as she dipped her fingers into the cut on his chest. She ran the cream along the scab inside of the cut.

“I know,” Rin sighed. “I’m almost done,” she moved to the cut on his face. “Sit up and I’ll put some on your back. I need to go home, we have more in the storage closet. Is it easing your pain?”

He nodded. “If I please her now it may give us more time. If I wait, I don’t know how long we’ll have,” he pushed himself up. “Tell me the ingredients, I will have Jaken or Hisato bring them.”

Rin shook her head. “Don’t make me decide. We have jars of this at home in the storage closet, they’re labeled. Jaken knows which one.” She moved his hair over his shoulder. She rubbed what was left into the muscles of his back.

“Will you be angry?” He held her hands around his waist.

“Jealous,” she replied hugging him from behind. “But she did help you save me, and the children told me she kept them safe. I don’t know. It must be hard for her, wanting to be with you and not being able to. We can’t break the bond?”

“Death or heartache,” he ran his hands down her wrists. He had missed this, he wanted her closer, but he feared any closer on his part and the action would scare her.

“I can’t kill her?” Rin kissed his left shoulder.

“My instincts would kill the one who took her life, even you,” he glanced behind him at Rin. He touched her face with a soft smile on his face.

“Heartache then,” Rin suggested.

“I don’t love her, neither does she me,” he chuckled at the cruelty of the situation.

“But it would strengthen your bond to her,” Rin became pensive.

He inclined his head, “not like ours. It would only be once.”

“What would you have said? The night that I left, that I had Kagome-sama cleanse me of your yoki, what would you have told me?” She removed her hands and her mouth from his shoulder.

He turned to stack the pillows again. Rin helped him as he looped his mokomoko behind him and lay down, mostly upright. He stared at the ceiling. His eyes closed again, his breaths became deep as he considered his words

“You should bathe and eat first.”

“Sesshomaru?” She nudged him, “what would you have said?”

“I don’t know,” she watched his eyes open and close. He looked exhausted like he could sleep for days.

“Is that the truth?” She picked up one of his hands and held it in his lap.

He almost laughed. She could sense that he was lying. “Go bathe, eat. I’ll find you later.”

“Can you walk?”

“Short distances,” he stretched his legs. He pulled one knee to him, then the other, flexing his muscles. “Go on.”

“Ok,” she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, “I love you. You don’t have to say it back.”

“And I you. That never changed,” he held her face, “I never stopped loving you.”

* * *

Rin’s mouth fell open when she entered the bathroom. If she thought their bathroom at home was large, this one was twice as big. It was practically the size of a pond. The water was already steaming. Underneath the white stone carved tub were vents that were filled with hot orange coals. There were soaps along the wall, most of them musky flavored ones. There was a long kimono hung on the wall, _his kimono_ , she thought. He wouldn’t mind if she wore it, although it would swim on her. She took her golden Yukata off. There was a large mirror to the side. Rin turned around looking at herself. Her muscles were back, and she had the same diamond shaped scar on her back to match her front. “He must have hacked me in half,” she ran her hands along the raised skin. She looked at the cuts on the inside of her thighs. There were three on one side and four on the other. She cringed, moving her skin. “Ouch.”

She climbed into the hot water and sighed, then sucked in air when the cuts made it in the water. “Ow.” The hot water stung the open lacerations. She felt an ache between her legs, too. She touched herself, thinking, _great, he did cut me in there._ She stopped her eyes from watering. She didn’t want to start crying again. She puffed out air thinking about what he said. _He needs to be with her again…_ The water felt good, almost too hot. It felt like their hot springs. She shut her eyes, allowing her body to relax. She heard a knock on the door. “What?”

“Are you alright?” It was Sesshomaru. “Can I come in?”

Rin blushed. She had a sneaking suspicion that he would want to join her. “Yes,” she sat deeper in the water to hide herself from him. She was in the middle of one of the side walls. The water stung her legs and her wrist that had held onto the sword while Touma attacked her. She lifted up the wrist as he opened the door and let himself in. Rin was shocked that he was still fully clothed. He sat on the edge of the bath and motioned her to come over. Rin gave him a nervous look that said _I’m not standing up for you to look._

For the first time since they had become intimately involved, Sesshomaru turned around. Rin stood up, letting the water trickle down her form and sat on the end closest to Sesshomaru. She made sure she was low enough that only her head and neck were showing. She crossed her arms over her breasts. “You can turn around,” she said with trepidation.

He was dressed in a closed black kimono with white hikama. He had a rose colored kimono draped over his forearm. He hung it and a white sash up on the wall, then sat down next to Rin. “Was the wrist Touma as well?”

She held up her right hand. “My sword arm. When he was,” she stopped herself, “he kept clawing at my hand to get me to drop it, the whip kept forcing him backwards, holding his hips back.”

Anger flashed through his golden eyes. “Let me heal it.” He tenderly took her wrist.

“Won’t it weaken you? You’re already-” she stopped herself from saying it.

“Weak? I could use my blood, but then there would be a fever,” he stared at Rin. He couldn’t feel her emotions with such a weak connection between them. In the past her wrist would have been relaxed his hand, but now it was taut, she barely allowed him to move it. “Are you okay?” Something told him that she wasn’t.

She shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. I heard you outside, it hurts you. When this scars over,” he ran his fingers over the battered skin, “years from now, and you look at the marks on your thighs and on your wrist, what will you think of?”

That was easy, she already knew. Her mind flashed back to the fight in the forest the moment she saw the gashes. “Him.”

“Choose, my blood, or my yoki. It’s stronger now, the connection between us,” spending the night in her arms had broadened their weakened bond. “It won’t be as difficult. It stings, that means they are still open enough for my blood to heal.”

Rin sighed, “I don’t want to make you weaker, but I really don’t want the fever. I hate how it makes me feel and how long it lasts.”

“You can rest in my bed,” he adjured her. “You’re sure he did not violate you?” He let his fingers run down her cheek and underneath her chin. “It would upset this Sesshomaru if he did. It would not change my love for you.”

“You won’t heal if you cut your wrist again though, will you?” Her voice nearly broke. She picked up his wrist and pushed back the kimono. “It didn’t heal yet. From the last time.”

He shook his head. “Rin?” He set his forehead against hers, “what aren’t you telling me? May I smell your neck?”

Her bottom lip trembled, she shook her head.

“Will you tell me? You’re going to cry,” he ran his thumb over her cheek bone, “you said he touched you inside last night.”

“Yeah,” she sniffled, “I tried. I really did. I think he was trying to bond me, I felt his yoki enter me.”

“A forced bond,” Sesshomaru snarled, he closed his eyes to still his anger, “it wouldn’t have worked, even with his attempt to mark you. He was not meant for you.”

“Mark?” Her hand went to her neck where he had bitten her.

“A thousand years ago, we marked our mates. It stopped as more yokai took human mates and when father pointed out that it did little to protect them. In human relationships it’s dangerous, there are too many veins in the neck,” he ran his thumb down the side of her neck. “Let me heal these marks he left on your body, my heart. Choose, blood or yoki.”

“Either way I make you weaker,” she let her head flop onto the back of the bath. “Yoki.”

“I need to touch the wounds, do you want to come out? May I get in with you?”

Rin groaned, not sure which one she wanted. “I guess you can come in,” the words came out in trembles.

He divested himself of his kimono and his hikama, not caring if Rin was watching or not. Rin let out a short breath. He was still as gorgeous as she remembered. Even with his back and front battered, and looking less pristine than usual. “You still enjoy my appearance?”

“Stop using your nose,” she heard a splash of water next to her.

“It’s not just the scent, which is difficult to smell while you are in the bath. Your heart is beating faster, your breathing changed,” he moved closer to Rin. “Give me your wrist.” He picked it up and pressed the wound to his mouth while closing his eyes. He let the little yoki he had left move into the wound. Her skin responded to the added strength and stitched itself together, leaving it clear without a mark. He felt his stomach cramp, nausea rising. “Give me a moment,” he closed his eyes.

“You don’t have to,” she ran her hands through his hair, “save your strength.”

He turned to Rin and smiled, “I am,” he let his forehead rest against hers. “I would have told you nothing, if it weren’t for the child we created.”

“And what then?”

“Are there words to explain what happened? You are not yokai as I am. You aren’t drawn by powerful, often unstoppable instincts.”

“That’s not entirely true,” she stood up with her hands still around her breasts, trying feebly to hide herself from him. She ran one hand across the large scar on her abdomen, “it wasn’t necessary. He said it wouldn’t have killed you.”

Sesshomaru ran his fingers along the scar. He turned her around, she felt his lips against the back of her neck. “That is what it felt like, being approached by her, unstoppable. She wasn’t meant to approach me until long after you had left this world. Look at this, you are a warrior, this is a warrior’s body. This one is new,” he ran his finger over a bow shaped scar on her left hip. He pulled her into his lap.

“Ogre, it clawed my hip,” she smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“So am I. Rin,” he let his hand rest on her stomach, “may I touch the cuts on your thighs?”

“You usually don’t ask permission to touch me,” Rin’s back was against his chest.

“You’re holding my hand so tightly, if I were human it would cause pain. I can’t sense your emotions, may I smell your neck?” He nudged the base of her skull with his nose.

She moved her hair to the side and inclined her head. She tried to ignore the motion of his nose against her neck making her shake. “I’m…n…n…not afraid of you.”

“Aftereffects of battle, you are scared,” he rested his chin on her shoulders. “Long ago, in the Western Lands, where many of my kind still live, there was a battle. When I was young one of my…” he paused, he didn’t know whether or not he should admit there was one demoness he had slept with multiple times, “female companions, was violated by the intruders. Afterwards, she no longer wished to be intimate with this Sesshomaru. Your scent is similar to hers.”

“Someone you slept with more than once?” Rin laughed, “and here I thought you never slept with the same demoness more than once.”

“We were friends, I did not feel a pull towards her. May I touch your thighs?”

“Yes,” she braced herself, unsure how her body would react to the invasion.

Sesshomaru noticed her eyes were closed tight, creating wrinkles up her nose and along the sides of her eyes. Her fists were balled up, her shoulders taught. “Rin,” he scooted her off his lap onto the bench. He picked her chin up. “Open your eyes.”

She opened her eyes and gazed into the face of the demon she had loved for the last ten years. She let her hand run over his stripes, causing his skin to tingle. She traced the moon on his forehead. “You’ve always enjoyed my markings.”

“Yes, they are what makes you unique, and I can tell they are sensitive.”

“To you. Anyone else I would kill for touching them. Come closer.” He pulled on the back of her legs. “Keep your eyes open,” he let both hands dip into the hot water, down onto the lacerations on her legs. As soon as his hands touched them, he could tell she felt uncomfortable. Her muscles tensed against his hands. “Alright?”

“It stings, it’s fine,” she hoped she was wet enough from the water that he wouldn’t smell the lie.

“That’s not what I’m asking,” he put his forehead against hers, “are you uncomfortable?” His lips were very close to hers.

“Yes,” she shook her head deflated, “I don’t like that my body is reacting like this. To you.”

“My body also had annoying reactions after my left arm was severed. In time, they will fade. We begin,” he closed his eyes and let his yoki rise again. The feeling made the world spin. It steadied when she brushed her lips against his. She moved closer to him, parting her legs to give him better access to the cuts. One hand gripped his shoulder. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was squeezing an area that was bruised. She held his face, running her thumbs along his magenta stripes, dipping her tongue into his mouth. After the skin cleared, Sesshomaru wanted to give her something to remember, something to erase what was done. He let one hand run closer to her heat. His index finger traced the line of her opening. She gasped in his mouth. “Is it too much?”

“I…” she felt him brush against her again, “I don’t know.”

He held her by the back of the neck and pulled her lips back to his. He broke long enough to say, “I’m going to touch you now, tell me if you want me to stop.”

The moment his knuckles brushed against her bud, she gripped his shoulders, she groaned against his lips. “Mmm,” she tried to keep her voice low. “Oh…wow,” her breathing intensified.

“Can I touch you inside?” His mouth found hers, “you can tell me no.”

“Yes,” it was throaty and desperate. She felt a yearning below. She felt his fingers slide down, first up against her anxious bud, then back down, she gripped his wrist as his fingers entered. “Ouch,” Touma had left his mark there too. She pushed against his wrist to remove his fingers. “Take them out, Sesshomaru, please?”

“Wait,” he cupped her chin, “I know it hurts,” he closed his eyes and let the yoki move into her body.

She pushed against his wrist again. “Take them out.”

“Let me heal it,” he said quietly, removing his fingers. He lacked the strength to fight her. “There is a deep cut on the side of your opening, it extends to your lips.”

“Can’t you heal me without touching me?” She started crying.

“No, our bond is incomplete,” he caressed her cheek, wiping away her tears.

“Then take it back, please, take it back,” she shivered.

“Shh,” he pulled her to him. “Calm down,” he held her closely. “I can’t take it back like this,” he pursed his lips. She shook against him. “It still requires intimacy,” he lifted her face up to his, “I could not make love to you with that kind of injury. It would hurt too badly.”

“You can’t just draw it back?” She put his hand over her breast. The light flickered in his fingers.

“No,” he stroked her shoulder, “it must happen while we make love.”

“Why?” She hid her face in his neck.

“The soul is the most intimate hidden aspect of ourselves,” he ran his nose over her neck. _She’s so scared._ “It’s expressed as we share the most intimate parts of our body.”

“I’m not ready yet,” she trembled against him.

“Then stay in my arms until you are,” he rested his head on top of hers. “Rest with me in the water.”

“It’s like our hot springs,” she whispered.

He smiled. “Yes.” He ran his free hand up and down her bare back. He felt her body relaxing. “Are you falling asleep?”

Rin chuckled. She sat across his lap so her feet dangled over his leg and her side was pressed into his torso. Her head rested against the crook of his neck near his moist mokomoko. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“More nightmares?” He held her closer.

“Your arms are straining,” she touched his flexing muscles, “I can get off.”

“Stay,” he insisted. “Do you know how I missed you? How I missed this? How I yearned for you?” He cupped water over her shoulders.

“You didn’t want me in the room yesterday,” she touched the cut on his chest.

He grunted in pain at her touch. “You know my pride.”

She laughed quietly against him, “I had another one, after the first, then I remembered I was in your arms and fell asleep again. I feel like an idiot.”

“Were you that desperate to replace this Sesshomaru?” he let his hands linger around her stomach, once circling her navel.

“No, I was hurt and it was comforting,” she arched her knees up onto the bench of the bath. “What are you doing?” His fingers were circling closer to her heat again. They were just above the line of her curls, running from one side of her stomach to the other.

“Do you remember our first intimacy?” He ran his fingers down just enough to push against her bud with his finger. “You like that,” he kissed her neck. “You were so nervous.”

“You were so pushy,” she arched her back into his touch, “kami, you still know how to touch me.”

“I was accustoming you to my touches,” he nuzzled her ear. “Let me heal it,” he pushed down on her bud again. “Sit next to me.” He patted the bench next to him.

“Okay,” she moved off his lap and sat down next to him. “My stomach is churning.”

“Breathe with me,” he kissed her mouth. “It’s my hand, not his. Ready?”

She gripped his shoulders again and nodded her head.

He purposefully slid his index and middle finger up her thigh, his thumb found her center of pleasure again. “I’m sorry. I only had enough strength to heal the damage from the halberd. Allow my fingers to enter and it will heal. Do you want more pleasure?” He gently lowered his fingers until he found her opening. He slid them back inside against the cut.

“Ow,” she cried into his mouth. She gripped his wrist between her legs.

“I know,” he whispered, “I will pleasure you while it heals,” he was beginning to feel weak again.

She nodded, curling into him, she could feel the tepid probe of his yoki entering her skin, tingling with his power, moving her skin back together. “How have you never cut me? When you touch me like this? Oh…mmm….it feels really good.” She released his wrist and let it travel up to his chest and onto his shoulders.

“Gentle,” he whispered, letting his thumb circle her center of pleasure, “I use the minimum amount of strength, does it feel good? Focus on the pleasure, it’s almost healed.”

“Yes,” she moved closer to him until her chest was against his. “Can…” She felt shy, it had been so long since they had done this.

“What,” he nudged her nose up with his so he could see her eyes.

She let her hand ask. It trailed down his chest, bumping along his stomach, circling his navel until it came down to his very excited member almost poking her against the stomach. He brought her hand to it, and urged her to touch his excitement. “It’s healed, I can stop now.”

“More, please,” she gripped his shoulders tightly, the fire was beginning, starting low in her stomach riding up along her lower lips, hardening her core, begging for release. She let her hand run up and down the corona as he rocked into her hand. In moments they were silently groaning together, each encouraging the other. His free hand tenderly circled her nipples, his lips massaged her neck and shoulders. His fingers pumped in and out of her opening. In moments he came into the hot water and she cried with release into his neck. He let his finger rest against her bud, carrying out her orgasm until she stopped trembling. She panted against his chest. “I should have known that would happen.”

“It wasn’t planned. I meant to heal you and leave. ”

“I would have let you inside,” she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Not yet,” he gazed sadly at the ceiling.

“Why? Don’t you want it back?” She raised his hand to her heart. Even she could see the white light pleading to re-enter his body.

He would have to tell her eventually, that in the moment he wasn’t ready. In that moment he may not have been able to get out of the bath because he gave her his energy again to heal what he didn’t want to scar. Or that the idea of being so close to her again caused fear and panic within his heart. It was the curse of loving someone so deeply. With deep love often came deep pain. “At least now, think of my hands, not his.”

“You’re too good to me,” she accepted that he wouldn’t answer. She let herself curl against his chest and rest. “Can you stand?”

“I will be able to soon,” he let his head rest against hers. “The water feels nice. Is this what it’s like to heal from human wounds?”

“Something like that. It takes forever depending on how bad it is, and some things never heal,” she reached to grab a washcloth and found a pine smelling soap. She smiled to herself as she put the soap on the cloth, lathered it and placed it against his chest. “May I wash you, my Lord?”

His smile reached his eyes. “Yes. Gently. Are you alright?” He held her hand.

“I think so, now,” she knew what he was asking. “It felt good, your fingers don’t feel anything like his. You weren’t trying to hurt me.”

He resumed staring at the ceiling.

“How long will it take you to heal completely?” She sloshed the cloth over his shoulders.

“A few weeks, maybe a month. We will stay here for another week or two, until I have regained most of my strength, then I will recover at home. Gentle,” he groaned as she came near the cut across his chest.

“What about our lands?” She continued up his neck.

“Jaken comes and goes daily, support, mmh,” he groaned in pain as the cloth went over the cut on his cheek, “support is being provided by my allies. The southern border is holding. I believe Touma has been behind the constant challenge from the ogres. Without his support, they have become more compliant.”

Rin dripped water down his shoulders and chest, washing off the soap. She pulled herself out of the water and sat on the ledge, less shy than before. She pulled his head back into her lap and ran soap through his long silver hair. “Are we…are we okay now?” She asked him as she held his cheeks.

He raised a hand to her face, “I will find you after I have rested again, there is much to discuss.”

Rin sighed, “I wish you would just let me know, I feel like my stomach is in my throat.”

“Finish my hair,” he tickled her chin. “Taiyomaru is getting restless. All will be well between us. Trust me. You can leave him with me after you have fed him.”

“You really did miss them, didn’t you?”

He nodded his head slightly, “a father without his children is not a father.”

* * *

Sesshomaru was hard pressed to admit that it was difficult to remove himself from the tub. The water's heat relaxed his aching muscles and reduced the swelling in his back. Now he knew what it felt like to be beaten like a human. After a week, he could only walk short distances, flying was mostly out of the question, and his legs were still wobbly on the stairs. Had he not given the majority of his yoki to Rin to save her life, his body would have already healed. He waited for Rin to leave, to avoid her seeing how he grunted and strained against his own weight. Once he rose, he shook his hair out and didn’t bother to dry himself. He put his white Hikama and black kimono back on and went into his room.

Rin lounged on her side on the bed, one of her gorgeous breasts exposed with the baby sucking excitedly. He couldn’t help but smile. He had missed all these moments. When Harutoga and Yuki were babies, he loved coming home to her feeding his children. It awakened something primal in him. He lay down on his side across from her. He stroked her cheek lovingly.  _ Soon… _ it was all he could think. He wanted to be with Rin again, he wanted to wake up next to her again, he wanted to smell her hair as he rested, and feel her warmth. If it hadn’t been for Kagome he would have shredded Touma himself.

He let his eyes close against his pillows and his mokomoko. Rin glanced at him, worried. It was entirely obvious that she was concerned for his well-being. “Can I tell them to bring you something to eat?”

He shook his head.

“When are you going to admit how weak you are and let me help you?”

He continued breathing deeply, willing his body to sleep.

“You’re ridiculous, and you want me to leave Taiyomaru? You need to sleep and he wants to play, I’ll take him with me.”

He touched her wrists and shook his head.

“Not unless you admit that you are weak right now,” she arched a playful eyebrow at him.

His arched right back in response. He lazily opened his eyes and let out a low growl.

“Growl all you want,” she made a low sound in her throat, “grrrrr. I can do it too.”

He turned his head looking truly offended.

“I’m taking him with me, and for once you can’t stop me. If you try, we will see which one of us is truly the better fighter. You had the advantage of strength and speed before, now you can barely stand,” she giggled covering her mouth. “Come find us later.”

He rolled his eyes and turned to his side. Rin finished with the baby. She leaned over his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Sleep, my love, you need it.” She left the room tying the baby to her back.

He looked back at the door wishing he could follow, but his body screamed for rest again. _This is most inconvenient,_ he thought to himself as he lay there. He was nearly in the world of dreams when the door slammed open. Jaken came running in, his green skin looking pale if that was even possible for one with dark green skin. His eyes were bulging worse than they normally did and his hands were shaking so badly that Nintojo thwacked onto the floor with such a loud clatter Sesshomaru covered his exposed ear. “Jaken?” He questioned the useless toad. “What is it?”

Jaken ran over to him holding a scroll. He stammered, coughed, made some odd noises in the back of his throat and then handed the scroll to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru opened it. He bolted up, grunting in pain as he did. “When did this arrive?” He ground his teeth, gripping the paper so harshly that he shredded the middle of it. He yearned to have enough energy to melt it with dokkasu.

“Yesterday morning,” Jaken answered timidly, backing away from Sesshomaru.

“So this is how it will be?” He closed his eyes, breathing was all of a sudden difficult.

“It would mean the southern border would be stable. It was as we suspected, Touma had been providing them with support, now that it is gone, the ogre King wishes to solve things this way,” Jaken stroked his chin nervously. “I don’t like this, Sesshomaru-sama.”

“Neither do I,” Sesshomaru shook his head. “Leave.”

“But-” He attempted to argue.

“Leave,” he heaved out the air in his lungs. “Jaken,” he called the imp before he made it to the door. “There is a yellow cream meant to treat yokai injuries in the storage house. Bring it here.”

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama,” _at least he finally admits he’s hurt._ Jaken ran from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and kudo! How is life for everyone else? How are my readers holding up? 
> 
> Here's some angst, to feed your current angst.


	20. Our Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin is confronted again by Gobodo-sama and has a rather unlikely ally. Sesshomaru and Rin finally have the discussion they should have all along about Natsuki. 
> 
> Hello everyone!   
> Okay people are finding me on FFN anyway but I am giving ya'll a choice...this story is complete on FFN and posted. I have been having a beta go over my chapters because of spelling/grammar errors. If you just want this bad boy up already errors and all tell me and I'll just post what's left. The chapters are a bit skewed because they were 10k words on FFN but I needed to break them up there is also a sequel on FFN too...soooo let me know. But keep kudo and commenting!

Rin spent an hour searching for someone to ask for breakfast only to be given strange looks when she requested rice and fish. After finding her room and eating, she spent another hour getting lost in the large winding castle looking for the garden. Hisato found her and led her to the stairs. She walked up, gripping her sword with Taiyomaru tied to her back. For once he was sleeping, seemingly content that his parents spent the night together.

When she found her way to the garden on top of the roof she understood what Sesshomaru had been speaking about. The winds were much stronger, if she didn’t plant her feet just right, she was thrown back several feet. If she didn’t stop herself she would have been blown away. Yuki and Harutoga ran around a small pond chasing each other and then to their mother when they saw her. Yuki gave her a knowing look as if saying she knew that her father and mother were spending time together.

Natsuki sat by the pond holding Tsukimaru. She waved at Rin and smiled. Rin returned the kind gesture then went to find a private place to practice her sword. Her body felt stronger than it did the day before. She drew her sword, not missing the clean skin on her hand. She knew that it had weakened him, but she also knew he wouldn’t have accepted being told no. She lifted the sword into her hand and concentrated. “Why is it that you only show me dokkasu when I am desperate? When I am terrified and the fight seems hopeless?” She spoke to the white bladed sword. She closed her eyes as she had in the early days when she was first learning to call the whip. She let her hand and mind reach through the dog shaped hilt searching for the hidden yoki.

Rin began with forms, standing upright, stretching down and up. Holding her arms out to the sides, rotating them, and then various stretches that freed the sinews in her legs. She tucked the sword away and began running laps around the garden thinking to herself how the sword had called dokkasu and why she couldn’t control it. It was painful even for Touma, and it gave her the chance to escape. Before she knew it, Harutoga and Yuki were trailing behind her. Yuki caught up to her and asked, “Are you training?”

“Yes,” Rin answered, feeling the muscles in her stomach pull as she did. _Maybe it’s too soon, I’ll do one more lap._

“Can I do it too?” Yuki asked.

“Yes,” Rin tried to breathe. Sesshomaru always got on her for not knowing how to breathe when she ran. The first time he said it, she snapped at him thinking of her as a demon who could fuel their body with yoki. He wouldn’t die as easily if he held his breath. Rin completed one more lap before bending over to catch her breath. She felt light headed. “That was stupid.” She told herself.

“Yes it was,” Gobodo-sama came over to her. “What are you doing here?”

Rin’s hair whipped in the wind. She put her hands on her sides and glared at Gobodo-sama. Even up here with the wind blaring past them, the ridiculous dog demoness looked unfettered. Her hair sat perfectly as if telling the wind she would tell it when to blow. Her eyes glared at Rin, they tinged red for a moment. “You’ve been intimate with him again.”

“I really hate that you use your nose like that, it’s rude,” Rin turned to walk away from her.

Yuki and Harutoga’s eyes went back and forth from their grandmother to their mother as the arguments began. “I told you to stay away from him.”

“I am not under your command,” Rin folded her arms.

“This is my house,” Gobodo-sama warned her.

Rin just stared and tapped her foot.

“You really don’t understand, do you?” Gobodo-sama strode towards her. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me, since everyone here seems to think I’m the one that did something wrong. Please tell me, what did I do? Broke his heart? I know that. Took his children from him? I know that too, and trust me I would love to leave but last time I checked no one would allow me to and since I don’t feel like jumping to my death, you will just have to live with my current smell. If you have a problem with it, talk to your son.” Rin’s fingers itched against the hilt of her sword. _Spray her…_ she thought, _I would love to hear her scream._

Before she could finish thinking what she wanted Gobodo-sama had Rin’s neck in a vice grip and her body off the floor.

“Dear one,” Hisato warned her, moving closer.

Rin coughed for air as her feet dangled. “Put me down,” the words came out one at a time between clenched teeth. Her muscles burned, especially around the scar.

“Go ahead, reach for that sword he gave you, it won’t work on me. He is my son,” she batted Rin’s foot away. Something green slithered around Gobodo-sama’s waist and threw her to the side. She stood up angry, and for once looking mussed.

Rin wanted to laugh. Natsuki landed next to Rin. “Leave her alone.” She warned. “If she is being intimate with him, then I am happy. And if you attack her again, I will defend her, and if you harm me or my son, who I will hold while you do, you know to whom you will answer.”

Gobodo-sama snarled and walked away out of the garden. “You shouldn’t push her,” Hisato warned Rin.

“She shouldn’t push me,” Rin forced herself off the ground. “It’s enough. I know I was wrong, but so was he. I don’t care if she only judges it by yokai standards, he and I have always tried to live by both, that will not change just because it makes her unhappy.”

Rin left them all with their mouths hanging open because she dared to defy Sesshomaru’s mother. She found a nice covered area with trees and took her sword out again. “Now, do it,” she held it up in her hand, blade down, dog facing up. For a moment she thought she felt something, then it was gone as soon as she did. “Spray!” She yelled, “dokkasu!” She shook the sword. She screamed in frustration and stamped her foot on the ground. “This would be easier if that bitch hadn’t upset me. Okay calm, I can be calm. Oh Taiyomaru, don’t start now.” He was already starting to whine against her back. She tried to close her eyes and regain her concentration while bouncing up and down. “I can do this,” she held the sword up again, “dokkasu!” She looked at her Katana. “Stupid sword,” she turned and threw it into the air towards the water.

A white striped hand shot up and caught it. Sesshomaru stood in his black kimono and white hikama. His hair swayed lightly in the updrafts. “Stupid sword?”

“Yes, stupid sword, made from your stupid fang, that your stupid mother gave you!” She fumed kicking the ground.

Yuki and Harutoga giggled from behind a tree. “Shh,” Yuki covered Harutoga’s mouth and pulled him back behind the trunk.

Sesshomaru brought the sword back to her. He lifted his eyebrows at her and tilted his head as he handed it to Rin. “Explain,” he said curtly. He sat down cross legged on the ground.

“We have an audience,” Rin flicked her eyes towards the tree, “not to mention Natsuki and Hisato.”

“Why can’t they hear?” He pat the ground in front of him.

“It’s…if I whisper will they hear?”

“Natsuki, Hisato, cover your ears,” he said with a chuckle.

Rin sat down next to Sesshomaru, she cupped her hands over his ear. “Dokkasu, it’s happened twice when I was desperate. Both times when I fought Touma, it was as if the sword took on a mind of its own. Why can’t I call it myself?”

“Why is this embarrassing?” He said, confused.

“Because of what he was trying to do when it happened,” the last word was choked out. “In this era I should have used it. Stupid thieves, they tried when I was fifteen, again in the forest with you. Them I could fight, well Kohaku saved me once, but I couldn’t stop…I could mostly, but once it seemed he would, the katana came alive,” she forgot to whisper, “why can’t I call it?”

“Give me the sword,” Sesshomaru held it in his hands. The white fang shaped blade he held in his right hand and the golden dog hilt in his left. He ran his thumb over the ruby eyes and traced the teeth. “What happens? Do you remember your thoughts?”

“I feel scared, desperate, and,” she thought back. The first time Yuki was coming as the battle fought. Touma had just grabbed her, licked her cheek, he was trying to force her down, “I cry out for you to save me.”

Sesshomaru smiled, it lit up his eyes, like light honey. The parting of his lips caused his fangs to become more prominent. He handed Rin back the sword. “In those moments, I hear you. I heard you fighting Touma, I hear your words, and I send my strength through the katana. When you thought _Sesshomaru, if there is any part of you that is still connected to me, save them, save our children._ I knew it wasn’t just them that was in danger, I felt you, through this,” he touched the hilt of the sword.

“You can still feel me? It still connects us?”

“Not as it did before, but when you become desperate, as you term it.”

“But if I could call it, it’s powerful. I think it’s stronger than what comes from your claws,” she held the hilt. “It can’t just be that you take control of it, is it? You heard me?”

He nodded his head. He became pensive, considering how to best aid her in bringing out the poison within the sword. In those moments, he knew that he felt her desperation and fear, even now that the sword no longer connected them. “Put your hand on the hilt. Hold it out.”

Rin complied.

“Breathe with me,” they did this exercise often. He lead, deep breaths, in and out, through the nose out the mouth until it almost seemed like they were in sync with each other. He placed his hand over hers. He could feel the yoki within the sword, the power of the fangs. He drew it out enough for small wisps of poison to drip down. “Do you feel it?”

“Yes,” Rin’s hand was practically vibrating with the new found power.

“Make it yours,” he removed his hand.

Rin struggled to maintain the hold on the yoki. The wisps dissipated and she growled, frustrated. “I don’t have patience for this right now.”

“Again,” he touched her hand, bringing the yoki forward until she could feel it, “feel the heat, the way it touches the palm of your hand. The way the poison moves from the fang into the hilt, up the body and into the teeth. See it, my strength is your strength.”

She envisioned the poison, drawing it from the white fang, into the body of the dog, up the bottom paws, into the torso, through the neck and into the mouth. This time she did see tiny green wisps coming from the fangs, enough to cause a change of smell on the air.

Sesshomaru smiled at her. “Good. Leave us,” he said loud enough for all to hear, “Hisato, Natsuki, take the children, all of them.”

Natsuki came and took Taiyomaru from Rin. “Do you want me to feed him if he gets hungry?”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru answered. As soon as the garden was empty, Sesshomaru pulled Rin into his lap. “We need to talk.”

Rin felt her stomach cramp. His fingers brushed aside the hair on her neck. “Why does this make me nervous?” she scooted away from him.

“Come closer,” he held his arms out, “where you belong, next to my heart.”

Rin chuckled. “That makes me feel better.” She scooted until she was flush against his chest in his lap. “Does it hurt your legs?”

He smoothed her hair again and let his lips rest against her neck. “There will be conditions to this reunification.” He held her around the stomach, “but first we must discuss a more pressing matter. I long believed that there was a greater power behind the ogres in the south, a reason why they kept coming in droves no matter how many I wiped out. I have received a challenge.”

“But you can’t!” Rin turned around truly terrified for him.

He placed two fingers on her lips, “it’s not for me my heart, it’s for you,” he let his lips fall on hers, “once Touma failed, the Ogre King decided it has become a matter of honor that he hosted you in his lands until now and you killed, twenty was it?”

“Twenty-six,” Rin shrugged her shoulders innocently.

“Twenty-six of his children. If you defeat him, he will agree to peace. If you lose, I will kill him, and the south will be ours.”

“Why do I think that last part wasn’t part of the challenge?”

“It’s a promise. You don’t have to accept, it will be dangerous. He will be stronger than an average ogre, and harder to kill. This trick with dokkasu may prove useful. I have no desire to be Lord of the Southern Lands as I had no desire to take my father’s post in the West. I am happy with our land in the middle of Japan.”

“I’ll accept,” she said swiftly, _better than him fighting. He can’t, not yet._ She rested her head against his chest. She let her lips press against his skin.

“You think to protect this Sesshomaru? We have a week, I will be stronger by then,” he insisted.

“But not recovered completely. I won’t let you. I’m strong, Sesshomaru, believe in me.”

He inclined his head and kissed her. It was getting harder to deny that he wanted to spend time with her in bed, to enter and press himself against her skin again. The bath had been a guilty pleasure, a budding relief. He pulled away, ending their kiss, breathing heavily. Self-control, just a little longer. “I can’t help you should you be harmed.”

“I’ll live with the consequences,” she said confidently, “I can do it. Conditions?” Those almost sounded scarier than facing a fabled ogre king. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him, finally feeling hopeful that they would be properly reunited.

“Our lands will know peace finally, if you succeed,” he said. He pulled her back and held her hands in his. They sat cross-legged face to face. “Rin, these words are difficult for me to say. The emotions I have felt the last four months, betrayal, hurt, sorrow, anger. I do not enjoy them,” he ran his thumbs over the tops of her hands, “what you had the Miko do, the hatred you ignited between Inuyasha and I. It cannot happen again. I…” he paused, he let his hand touch her breast again, right where their bond lay. He let it light the tips of his fingers. Oh how he wanted to draw it back in that moment, to feel her in every inch of his awareness. “It can’t happen again. You must promise, no matter the pain we cause each other, no matter the anger, you will leave this in place."

"What did your mother mean when she said it hurt you? She meant more than emotional pain didn’t she?”

“Like having your heart torn out slowly, even for a demon, this Sesshomaru, the pain was immeasurable. The emptiness that followed,” his eyes became sad and darker, closer to brown than gold.

“I’m sorry.”

“It is not your apology I need, it is your word. You will leave our bond in place, no matter what happens between us. Was your life so horrible with this Sesshomaru? Did I not care for you? Clothe you, provide you with enough food? A home, children?”

“You’ve given me everything,” Rin said, “I won’t do it again.”

“Was your life so terrible?”

“No…I don’t mind the danger, it’s kind of fun. And I’m not weak, I can protect myself, it’s just, it’s so hard to say.”

“Honesty, you’ve been holding something back from me,” he lifted her chin, “what did he show you?”

“You and me. Our memories, but from your perspective, and I,” she sniffled, and wiped her nose, “I was always scared that you would look at me and our children one day and find us unworthy. I’m human, and you always hated your brother. You blamed him for causing your father’s death, and I thought one day, you would come out of this trance of being in love with me and find a pureblooded demon to be with who could give you what I couldn’t.”

“So when she came you thought I had finally done what you believed I would?”

She nodded her head, tears dripping onto her bare feet. She covered her eyes with her hands. He gave her wrists a good tug to get her back into his lap and held her while she cried. “She cannot replace you. I craved her when I saw her and after that I felt nothing. Even now, I know she yearns for the touch of this Sesshomaru, but I do not yearn for her. It’s like the smoke of a fire bow, but you, my heart. I can’t stay away from you, and when I am near you, I can’t keep my hands off you. It’s like a raging fire that only you can put out. A beacon guiding me home, to our home. When I am away, two weeks feels like a lifetime, a night alone in the woods hurts. I could only stay away from you a year after initiating our bond, I could ignore her for a century,” that wasn’t entirely true, their yokis wrapping around each other for five days had consequences, he did yearn to be with her one more time. “You mean more to this Sesshomaru than she ever will.” Eventually he would have to admit it to Rin.

“I know,” she admitted, “I’m sorry. Do you know how badly you hurt me? Do you have any idea?”

“I am sorry, by your customs I have done something heinous and unforgivable. I hurt you deeply. I broke your heart,” he lifted her chin and covered her mouth with his, “you must promise to be honest with me, from now on, honesty,” he let his lips settle over hers. She returned the kiss just as fervently as he did.

“I will,” she hugged him, “I missed you so much.”

“As did I,” he kissed the top of her head, “will you come home?”

“Yes,” she smiled against his chest.

“You will never hide my children from me again,” it wasn’t up for debate. That had hurt him more than Rin leaving, the nights searching for them. “That was childish and cruel, to them and to this Sesshomaru.”

His words cut her, she felt her tears coming anew. “I’m sorry.”

“Rin,” he lifted her face, “I forgive you. Do not do that to this Sesshomaru again.”

She nodded her head against him. “Are there any other crazy siblings I should know about?” She wiped her tears trying to force a laugh out.

“Besides Inuyasha?” He helped to wipe her tears, “Touma is gone, the Miko destroyed him. There are no others.”

“What about other demonesses?”

“My mother assures me that there are none,” he said confidently. _But she calls for me._ He shook his head, they both called for him, Rin was practically screaming in his senses while Natsuki was like a dull ache that you forget about as soon as you became focused on something else.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I was fifteen that you loved me?” She said it so quietly, so nervous he wouldn’t answer her.

“Pride,” he breathed in the top of her head, “pride. Perhaps your insecurity was well founded. I did not believe until that night under the full moon that you were mine. When I initiated the bond with you…even then, until I felt your agony, a year later when you were injured. I didn’t know that is what it was, or that is why I yearned to return to you. Pride,” he sighed, “stupid pride. Two years more I could have enjoyed you like this. Mortality aside, I love that you are human.”

“I love that you are yokai. You don’t want to let me go, do you? Ever?” Rin asked him.

“If this Sesshomaru could grant you a life as long as mine, I would,” he steadily breathed in her scent.

Rin nuzzled his neck, she couldn’t think of an answer. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to live forever, only that she wanted to be with Sesshomaru for the rest of her life. “Can I sleep in your room tonight?” Rin asked innocently.

“Yes,” he rested his mouth on the top of her head, “yes.”

“Will you take it back?” She placed his hand over her heart.

“Not here, at home, under our sakura tree, in our garden, in the home I built for you,” he held Rin to him.

“You are so sentimental, you expect me to wait until then? I want to feel your skin against mine, I want to make love to you.”

“And I you, but not here.”

“Fine, you leave me no choice,” she said mischievously, “take me home.”

“I am not through resting,” he countered.

“Then you’ll have to catch me,” she bolted for the side of the castle. She sped through the tiny forest, past the small pond and leapt over the low fence that marked the edge of the garden. She landed spread eagle in the air with fingers outstretched. The air rushed at her face, beating at her clothes. She laughed for a few moments, then remembered he said he couldn’t fly. The exact moment she felt the slightest bit of fear, he was beneath her with a frustrated look on his face. He slowed her descent making her land on his stomach. “You caught me,” she laughed into his chest, she grabbed his mouth in hers and kissed him deeply. She rocked her hips against his as he flew them back towards the garden. “Make love to me.”

He shook his head.

“Then I’ll jump again,” she laughed. As soon as they landed she bolted for the fence again. She was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe as she did. She jumped over the fence and flew spread eagle.

In a moment he was next to her, freefalling, holding her hand in his, then he turned them so her back was against his chest, and flew her back to the garden. This time he kept his arms around her waist. She felt his chest vibrating against her, he was having fun too. “Come back to my room,” he led her by the hand, down the winding stairs and to his room that was nestled in the corner of the castle.

The flood gates broke open as soon as they were inside and the door was shut, he pulled her to him, she clung to his shoulders, his lips came crashing down on hers. His back was on fire, his stomach pleading for release. Her hands were in his soft and silky hair. She untied his obi and pushed his kimono off his shoulders. Her mouth ran along the hard bumps of his muscles, encouraging a groan to come from his lips. He pulled her mouth back to his own. She kissed him until her teeth hurt. She took a step back, one foot poised on the toes, she untied her own obi and let the silky pink kimono he had given her fall to the ground. Beneath it she wore nothing. His breath caught, his eyes tinged red around the edges with desire. She walked backwards towards the bed motioning him to follow.

Follow her he did, his hikama lain in waste on the floor in a white pool next to his pants. She lay on her back just as his mouth came over hers again. Then he was on top of her, nestled between her inviting legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, accepting his lips that ran the length of her neck, down the center of her neck, where her skin was the most tender. His hands explored the topography of her body, the firm mountains of her breasts, the valley of her abdomen, the sensuous opening of her petals. Her hands touched his shoulders, traced the lines of his chest, ran along the blistered heat of his stomach until she found him. “Mmm,” dripped from his panting lips when her fingers grasped his hard length.

He tugged at her nipples until they were taught and straining in his mouth. His mouth sought more hidden places, where clefts and crevices dripped in tortuous fever. He teased her knowing that it would make the smell drifting from between her legs that much more desperate and irresistible. Lower and lower, he went, tracing sinuous lines with his tongue, leaving small pricks with his fangs until he allowed his nose to dip between her curls into her crevice. Her hands were immediately on the sides of his head gripping firmly to his mane. He ceased for a moment, to look up at the desperate eyes that were watching him. “Alright?” He asked her. 

She was covered in beading sweat, panting in restraint. “Yes,” she said. “It feels good, don’t…don’t stop.”

He nodded before tenderly parting her folds revealing the nectar inside that he desperately wished to taste. He leaned his nose enough to make her arch her back, he flicked his tongue over the top, then lifted the delicate triangle. She moaned, legs splayed for him, giving him access to the most intimate, primal part of her body. His tongue brushed against her again, “oh…” she gripped his shoulders. He let his fingers dip inside of her, first one, then two, finding the spot that he knew would bring her the most pleasure. Her moans became more desperate, her hips began moving against his mouth as it sucked and pulled. His fingers pushed within her, “oh…” she moaned, he felt her tensing around his fingers. Her calls for more, rewarded him with firmness. “Sesshomaru!” She cried out, in the adulation, her body responding by releasing waves of pleasure like the lapping of the sea against the sand.

He rolled onto his back taking her with him until she straddled him, he adjusted himself so he was slightly upright. His muscles flexed. “Was it not like this?”

She could feel him pressing against her back. “I was so nervous.”

“I remember,” he pushed her hips up, until she was hovering over him. His eyes coated in red.

“Wait,” she stopped him, hand against his mouth panting, “are you going to…”

He caught her mouth in his. “I can feel it, your love for me. It’s calming,” his breathing was becoming heavier. “Make love to this Sesshomaru.” He groped her buttocks, adjuring her to lower her hips and cover him. “Let me love you.” His lips ran down her neck. “How I love you.” 

She reached beneath her, her hand stroking softly as she guided him where she wanted him. Her muscles tensed and flexed around the invasion. “Rin,” he groaned quietly, as she sheathed him within her heat. He didn’t wait for her to come down completely before his hips started rocking against hers.

Rin bent over to give him better access to her breasts. His mouth found them, causing new threads of pleasure to shoot through her abdomen. His right hand brushed against her left breast, directly over the light that was radiating within her breast. “Take it,” she urged him.

He nodded his head, rocking his hips harder, breath coming out faster. The light flickered into his fingertips, it radiated life into his hand, it rushed from there up his arm into his chest, the blinding azure light she had seen in her vision. The moment it landed in his heart, he pulled Rin to his chest, straining one last thrust then collapsing as his liquid warmth fled into her body. She rested on top of his chest, as out of breath as he was. There she was, back where she belonged, etched deep within his awareness. He let his lips take hers again, refusing to let her go. It was what he had been missing, their truth. “I love you,” his lips shivered against hers.

“I love you, Sesshomaru,” she slid herself off his lap, curling next to him. They held each other, close, warm, and home. Their legs intertwined and she watched emotions flicker in and out of his eyes, barely reflected in his face. In a moment she felt it, relief. “Me too,” she stroked his hair from his eyes. “You know though, one day you are going to have to let me go.”

He gaped for an entire second before he regained his composure. “When your hair is as white as mine, and your skin is wrinkled, in your bed an old woman,” he cupped her chin. His lips landed on hers again, pulling her so close she could no longer tell where he ended and she began. “Next to my heart, where you belong.” He said it so naturally, one would think that it was normal for the great Dai-yokai’s words to flow like poetry.


	21. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin trains against Natsuki to prepare for the battle against the Ogre King, meanwhile Sesshomaru finally divulges his need to be with Natsuki one last time. 
> 
> Sorry this is taking so much time ya'll. My in-laws house burned down on Tuesday last week and I have done nothing but help them, which is what good daughter's in law do, so with isolation and the burned house...well it's insane.
> 
> Thank Goodness though they were defying isolation orders and scoring free coffee at a local bank LOL!! So they weren't in the house but there is nothing scarier than being called by the police to find your husband's parents when you are states away. So wish me luck, good vibes and all that! Thank you!

He noticed she was quiet after they finished making love. She rested on top of his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist. He ran his fingers up and down her tanned arm. He let his claws graze her enough to make her skin tingle. He craved sleep again. He yawned tiredly, trying to keep his eyes open. Something was bothering her. She was fully in his awareness now. Her emotions were erratic, coming and going so quickly he couldn’t name them. He sniffed the top of her head, hoping to get a better understanding of what was going on. 

“You can sleep,” she said quietly to him. She rose up from the bed. His eyes took in her gorgeous body, her breasts that dangled just near his chest, her arms that flexed with muscled lines as she lifted herself off the bed.

He grasped her wrist. “Rin,” he stopped her, “you keep rubbing your shoulder, does it hurt?”

She shook her head. It wasn’t her left shoulder, it was the right one. “I keep feeling his teeth. Like the mark is still there.” She rubbed the skin. “Why don’t you ever have nightmares?” Rin felt like it wasn’t fair, ten years together and she had never seen him flinch, never saw him even show the slightest bit of trauma from any of their adventures.

He chuckled in the dimming light of his room. The sun was setting, “This Sesshomaru does not have nightmares,” he paused, “but if it helps. I have not been able to sleep since you left.” He rubbed his chest, right over his heart. “It wouldn’t let me rest until I found you. Even then, being apart from you... come closer,” he tugged on her wrist until she lay on his chest again. “I couldn’t rest.”

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, “there’s so much I wish I would have done differently. I was so hurt.”

“I know.” He rubbed her shoulders. “The nightmares will fade, as the old ones did.”

“You can rest now. Four months and you didn’t sleep?” She shook her head. “You should have rested, my love. We really messed up didn’t we? Both of us?”

He nodded. He feathered his fingers into her ear, then rubbed the spot where the bite mark had been.

“You could always bite me,” Rin laughed, “at least then I would think of you.”

“It would hurt, and I don’t have the strength to break your skin,” he chuckled with her. He also didn’t have the heart to inflict that kind of pain on her. “I must sleep.”

“I don’t like seeing you like this,” she rubbed his chest, “this cut is taking too long to heal, even for you.”

“My yoki is still building. Without it, I cannot heal myself. Jaken will bring the cream,” he said, “I must sleep,” his voice was getting quieter.

“Sleep my love,” she sat up, “I’m going to find our children.”

“Stay,” he held on to her wrist.

“Until you are asleep, or until you wake up?” She leaned over and kissed his mouth. She worried that she was spending too much time away from Yuki and Harutoga. She hadn’t even asked them if they were okay. As proud as Yuki was of herself, she was still just nine years old and had killed for the first time.

He lifted one hand and cupped her chin. “Until I am asleep.”

* * *

The next morning, Rin sat in the garden on the verge of a panic attack. _I agreed to fighting an Ogre King? What the hell was I thinking?_ She was sure it was the dumbest thing she had ever agreed too. She could handle five by herself at the most and that was with great difficulty. She thumbed the hilt of her sword timidly, thinking, _if I could just get the hang of dokkasu._ She sat with her knees crossed and focused on her breathing as much as she could with Taiyomaru wiggling against her front, nursing. She had him strapped to herself in a green sash. It helped to keep her covered while keeping her hands free.

She had managed to slip free of Sesshomaru’s grasp without waking him. He would never admit it, but he was worn out. His body was taking its time healing, and it was concerning for Rin to watch. She was sure that if Natsuki had not helped him, they both would have died that day in the woods. It gave rise to the thought of what happened to all that yoki once it was in her. She could feel Taiyomaru’s hand running across the giant scar on her stomach. _Battle wounds_ , she thought proudly.

She continued breathing and feeling the yoki within her blade.  _ I wonder if I could get something stronger?  _ The thought had crossed her mind more than once. There was always the risk of absorbing too much yoki in her body and causing her to expire. Like the swordsmith Inuyasha had fought and gained the dragon scaled Tetsusaiga from. This was a smaller fang, when his yoki wasn’t as strong. She could almost feel it bubbling on the handle, as if it was begging her to call it forth and send it flying.  _ I can do this.  _ She let the yoki float into her awareness and then urged it out of the end of the hilt, through the mouth of the dog. She saw the green mist float over her clothes and tickle her knees. “I did it!” She jumped up in excitement. Sure of what the feeling was, she stood with her feet the same width as her shoulders. She gripped the heat within the hilt and urged it out, the mist came faster like a spray this time. “Yes!” The motion caused the baby to flop off her breast and start crying. “Oops.” She put him back on. “Taiyomaru, I can’t train and hold you at the same time.” She tickled his stripes and moved his long black curls out of his face. She would need to start tying the boy’s hair up soon.

“I’ll take him.” It was Natsuki, holding little Tsukimaru against her breast. He made funny cooing noises against her. “I think he and I are becoming good friends now.” Natsuki looked at Rin in a way that said nothing more than that she knew what they had done the night before. “I think I may be jealous.”

“Should I apologize?” Rin felt incredulous that she would be jealous of her and Sesshomaru.

“He was, well is yours, long before he became mine. For the rest of your life, he is yours and I must live with it,” she replied sadly, “it’s the least I can do to make up for all the trouble I caused and help you with this little one.” She helped Rin untie the sash and took Taiyomaru into her free hand. “Look how they hold hands whenever they are near each other.”

Rin smiled, watching the two grasp fingers. “Tsukimaru is still so tiny.” He still looked like a newborn.

“Aging is much slower, you’ll see Taiyomaru will age faster. One day he will look like an adult in the days when Tsukimaru will still look like a child,” she rocked the two babies in her arms. “He has strong blood, I can feel it. Amazing it could be like this, coming from a human mother.”

“His mother is strong,” Sesshomaru walked into the garden. He regarded Natsuki coolly before removing both his white haired child and dark haired hanyou from her arms. “Are you practicing?” One eye sunk backwards towards Rin.

“Yes,” Rin said, “I have to be ready. How are you feeling this morning?” She nearly regretted the question as soon as it was out of her mouth.

Instead of answering, Sesshomaru walked with both infants toward one of the taller trees in the garden. He sat down at the base of the trunk with his legs cocked to the side. In one nook he put Tsukimaru, and in the other he put Taiyomaru. Rin strained to hear what he was doing. Each child held onto one of his clawed fingers. “He’s singing to them.” Natsuki told her.

“What?” Rin balked, “he never sings.”

Natsuki gave a small smile. “He does to them. It’s an Inu-yokai fable about the sun and the moon coming together as brothers to bring a greater good. Was he like this with your other two children?”

Even Rin could tell Natsuki seemed nervous. “I never heard him sing to them, but spending time with them, yes. He’s a good father,” she turned back towards her sword. “Now that I have some control over the poison in this blade, time to come up with a plan.”

“Can I help?” Natsuki asked cautiously, following Rin.

“How? Can you fight? I mean…no offense, but if he hadn’t shown up, you would be dead,” she turned around to face Natsuki.

“You are strong and fast for a human. I was carrying Tsukimaru,” Natsuki let herself laugh. She knew it was stupid to go after Rin. Humans seemed like such easy prey. “I’d like to help.”

“Okay, well, I know the weak spots in an ogre. They are slow, and many of them stupid, but I have a feeling that won’t be the case with the ogre king,” she scratched her head, “I probably need to practice fighting something big.”

“I’m neither slow, nor stupid,” Natsuki shot back, offended, “but if you need something big, that I can give you.”

“Don’t hold back,” Rin backed away as Natsuki bound into the air in a flash of light. “You won’t be doing me any favors.” Natsuki landed on the ground as a giant white dog in front of Rin. Rin flipped her sword in her hand and took a deep breath. “Do you think he would kill both of us for this?”

Natsuki’s medium sized dog form chuckled, it came out like a series of snorts in staccato.

* * *

Sesshomaru’s ears perked up. There was something pleasant about the two of them getting along. He could do nothing about his bond to Natsuki. Without love, there was nothing to break. He could order one of his sentinels to kill her, but the thought caused an uncomfortable pinch in the center of his heart. Then what would he tell Tsukimaru when the child grew up? _I killed your mother because she was an inconvenience…_ That didn’t sound right. As he watched Rin attack and Natsuki move, then Natsuki lunged at Rin and Rin jumped out of the way, he knew things would never be the same. Yet, they were how they were meant to be. Natsuki had been much like he was before he met Rin, cold, detesting humans and arrogant to a fault. He closed his eyes, letting his ears do the work for him. Rin’s footfalls were light, she dodged easily and moved with great speed. Her greatest weakness was not being able to get higher up. She used the whip to hook around Natsuki’s neck and propel herself onto her back. Natsuki immediately rolled over, taking Rin with her. Sesshomaru chuckled when Rin flopped onto the dirt with a hard thud, but worry rose when she didn’t get up immediately.

“Time out,” she called, smacking her free hand against the floor. The other gripped her stomach where the scar etched its way across her abdomen.

Natsuki returned to her immaculate human form. She had a look of triumph on her bright face that included a cocky grin. The grin melted into a frown as Rin continued to lay on her side gripping her stomach. The demoness bent over. She rested one hand on Rin’s stomach. “Sesshomaru,” she called him. “I sense bleeding.”

Sesshomaru set both babies down in the roots of the tree. Their little hands still clutched each other. He loped over to Natsuki and Rin. He knelt on one knee, also touching her stomach. “Something hasn’t healed,” he tried to recall all the pictures in the book he’d read from time to time. He didn’t know what to call it, but something inside was still injured.

“I’ll be fine in a minute,” Rin insisted, she cried out in pain trying to lift herself from the ground.

“Lay down,” Sesshomaru tapped her shoulder. His clawed fingers rest against her stomach again. The bleeding was slight, but if left unchecked would pose a danger to her life. “Dammit,” he mumbled. Each time he gave his strength to her, it slowed his own healing.

“It’s okay,” Rin adjured him, “you can’t keep giving me your strength, I’m sure I’ll heal on my own.”

“Has your stomach been hurting all along?” Sesshomaru fumed at her. “This has been bleeding for days.” Somewhere deep in the cavity just below her rib cage the muscles were pulled, and just behind that something was torn, leaking her lifeforce into her stomach with little reprieve. He let out a frustrated sound that sounded somewhere between a low growl and a snarl.

“A little,” her guilty tone came out. “It’s fine,” she insisted.

“It’s not fine,” he pulled her shoulders up slightly. The moment he moved her, she hissed in pain.

Rin placed her hand over his and shook her head, “let me heal on my own.”

“This won’t heal on its own, and if you are to fight in six days, you can’t go to battle like this,” he set his hand over her stomach, prepared to direct the flow from their bond down to her to the injury and close it.

“Together, then.” Natsuki moved her hand into Sesshomaru’s. She laced her fingers between his, her delicate thin fingers meeting larger stronger ones. “We begin.”

What happened next shocked Rin. She expected it to feel like an intrusion as Gobodo-sama’s had when she redirected the flow of their bond to heal her arm after sparring with Hisato, but instead their yoki resonated off each other. Where his was warm before, the combined power was like the heat of their hot springs. Their combined yoki soaked into her skin and knit together her stomach. The pain subsided enough for her to stop holding her breath and relax her taut muscles.

He felt it. The moment their hands connected, the moment his yoki brushed against hers, that swirling vortex formed again. It called him to her. He cleared his throat, trying to brush off the desire as he directed the flow to the injured area. He could almost see the sinews closing and her body reabsorbing the blood in her stomach. “Humans are so fragile, like a piece of pottery,” Natsuki commented.

“I think we’re tougher than that,” Rin tried to force herself to laugh.

“You will want to avoid blows to your stomach, my heart,” Sesshomaru continued concentrating on Rin’s stomach.

“You heart?” Natsuki giggled, “and what will you call me?”

His eyes darted down to Rin, to Natsuki, then to solace in the sky. “Time will tell.”

“Do you have a pet name for him?” Natsuki inquired, “you bonded her again?” She glanced at Sesshomaru, “or did something, it was like a brook before, now it’s like a river.”

“Restored,” Sesshomaru corrected.

“How?” Natsuki seemed

Rin’s face was bland below. He could sense her discomfort with Natsuki’s interaction. “It’s private,” Rin responded, defeated. It was like being stuck in a triangle, she felt their combined heat pulsing into her body through her bond, but at the same time it was dreadfully obvious that they were meant for each other. Connected as they were she could sense their bond. A tear bubbled to the corner of her eye, falling silently down her cheek.

Sesshomaru caught the tear with his finger. Natsuki turned to Sesshomaru, questioning him with her eyes. She sensed the sorrow pulsating from Rin’s bond to Sesshomaru but couldn’t fathom why. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” Sesshomaru briskly answered.

“Why does she cry?” She was genuine.

“Silence, Natsuki,” he tried to control the tenor of his voice so the words didn’t bite but failed.

“Okay,” she said softly.

He shook his head. Between the two of them, he could feel the sting of their emotional pain like it was his own. He tried to redirect some of his yoki as thanks to Natsuki. For the third time, she gave him strength. When they finished, Sesshomaru removed his hand from Natsuki’s, and a silent look passed between the two of them. Natsuki went back to the tree where the two babies cooed at each other quietly. “You want to go to her now, don’t you?” Rin touched her stomach in disbelief.

“Yes,” he answered honestly, “her yoki is nearly as intoxicating as your soul.” When he said it, she felt his yoki brush against her soul, caressing it, embracing and bathing her in warmth. He gave Rin a puzzled look, he felt anger through their bond, jealousy, hurt and entertainment? “What could possibly have you entertained about this?”

“The great Sesshomaru, controlled by two women,” she chuckled lightly, “my muscles are still sore.” She pulled herself off the ground with his help. “I should probably go rest.”

“So it’s back where it belongs?” Gobodo-sama strode into the garden followed closely by Yuki and Harutoga. “You really are a boar, Sesshomaru.”

He raised an eyebrow at his mother. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“I thought you would learn your lesson and move on, but if it brings you happiness then so be it,” she sighed, “selfish boy that you are.” She waltzed toward the two infants on the ground by the tree. “These two,” she picked both babies up, “they complement each other so well. They will spend time with me until they have need of their mothers.”

“I’m going,” Rin walked towards the door to the stairs. Hisato stood nearby, quiet with arms crossed.

Sesshomaru caught her elbow in his arm. “You are frustrated about something.”

“Wouldn’t you be?” she said as she made it to the stairs. “Just give me space.”

“Space? The last time you had space you ran off with my children. We agreed, honesty.”

“Ok…honestly, how long are you going to be able to resist your connection to her? I saw you two, I felt you two,” she rolled her shoulders uncomfortably, “and it felt like you were meant for each other, which isn’t a comfortable feeling.”

“She and I _are_ meant for each other just as _you_ are meant for me,” he said, perplexed by her sudden anger.

“You don’t get it,” she tried to walk away, only to be caught by him again. Rin pulled her arm back away with some difficulty. His strength really was returning. She guessed she had only a few more days until she could no longer push his arms down or escape him.

“It hurt you, seeing us together like that. This Sesshomaru knows you, Rin,” he stroked her cheek fondly, “is it so hard to believe that I love you and am fond of her?” The words came out before he could take them back. The damn demoness was growing on him. What started as an arrogant, self-righteous, annoying, teenage-like battle had turned into something more.

“Fond?” Rin rolled her eyes, “why do I have to be so grown up about this?” Rin let herself slide down the wall onto the floor with her eyes on the ceiling. “You can’t help it, can you?”

“I can resist it, but eventually, I won’t be able to. It will be better when there is distance between us.” He stopped to gather his thoughts. “I will continue visiting my son once we return home.”

“Which makes the two of you crossing paths inevitable,” Rin sighed, “I think I need to lay down.”

“Did you eat this morning?”

“No…let’s just say the staff here is confused by human habits and it doesn’t seem there is much food suited for human taste here.”

He found himself laughing. “Raw meat doesn’t fancy you, my heart? Come,” he held out his hand to Rin. He helped pull her off the ground and led her back to his room, “I have moved your meager belongings to my room, you will share my bed again.”

“This hasn’t settled our talk,” she said, annoyed, as they rounded the corner and went down the last set of stairs. She opened the door and darted for the bed. Sesshomaru walked around to the other side and joined her after divesting himself of his haori and inner layer. Rin blew out air, she had forgotten how truly beautiful he was. The mid-morning light reflected off his complexion making him look more divine than usual. It accentuated the notches in his abs and the lines of his chest.

“You are too tired for that,” he lay down in the bed more lithely than he had been able to the night before and pulled Rin against him. Her smell was intoxicating too. If there was anything that drew his instincts, it was Rin’s scent when she was aroused, the intoxicating summer morning air with its musky smell.

“So what you are saying is that you want to have sex with Natsuki,” Rin decided bluntness was best, there was no beating around the bush with the issue.

“Yes,” the answer came faster than Rin would have preferred.

“What happens if you resist your instincts to be with her?”

“They build until we cannot resist.”

“How long will that take?” Rin rested her head against his pecs. She accepted his arms folding her into him.

“I’m not sure, at the moment the yearning is stronger. She has done much to help you and that has created a warmth in my heart for her. I wish to show her my appreciation.”

“By having sex with her.”

“Yes.”

“When was the last time you had sex? I mean, were you two doing it the entire time I was gone?”

“No,” he stammered with annoyance. Only Rin could throw him off so badly. “The night you left.” He admitted with guilt.

“So Inuyasha was right, you did.”

“Yes.”

“Ugh!” Rin screamed at him, “how could you do that? You must have sensed how hurt I was.”

Sesshomaru gripped Rin defensively for fear she would attempt to run off again. At least she couldn’t leave the castle. “Instinct,” it was like he was repeating the same word over and over. “Do you remember our first week together? How often were you in my arms?”

Rin flushed, her skin warmed as the red washed over her. “Every night, and during the day too, it was like we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”

Sesshomaru nodded. “In the beginning, the yearning is very strong, and between us there was already love, respect, friendship. I didn’t know her name when I woke up the next morning, the yearning is there to-”

“Make sure you cement the bond. So you’re saying if this was your second one and I were a demoness, the first one would be okay with you all of a sudden just spending a few weeks in bed with the other one?”

“I assume so,” he nuzzled Rin’s neck. “But you are not a demoness.”

Rin threw an arm over her eyes, nearly knocking Sesshomaru in the face as she did. “Why do I get the feeling you want my permission to have sex with her?”

“To avoid you leaving again,” he answered. He kissed the top of Rin’s head and held her tightly. “It should not have happened like this. She was meant to comfort this Sesshomaru after your inevitable passing. If you wish me to restrain myself, then I will, but it can’t last forever. It would only be once, to satiate us both.” _Then she would stop calling for me so._

“You having self-restraint when it comes to sex is comical,” Rin laughed and poked him in the ribs. “Fine…go be with her.”

He raised both eyebrows as he brought the blanket over Rin. “You’re sure?”

“Once you do…how long before it happens again?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed.

“I suppose when I am old and grey and can longer please you it will be good that you have someone else,” Rin tried to find the bright side. “Will you love her more than me one day?” Her insecurity was breaking through her façade again.

“Never. That I know,” he leaned his lips into hers. “How could I? Our bond was created by mutual trust, strength and warmth of soul, not by instinct. I would care not for her had the universe not thrown her at me.”

“At us,” she corrected with a tired sigh. “It’s going to be strange going home.”

“In what way?”

“I found my strength again living out there. I feel like I got lost the last few years, there running a home, having to be diplomatic, please people. I got to defend my home. Simpler was nice.”

“Should I fire the house staff?”

“No,” Rin rolled her eyes, “but I want to defend the barrier with the sentinels. I want to feel my strength again Sesshomaru.”

“As long as Hisato accompanies you.” He nuzzled her nose.“Now go to sleep.”

“Aren’t you going to go?”

“Not now, right now, my instincts want to be right here.”

“You mean you’re tired and want to sleep.”

He nipped at her shoulder in protest.

“Now I know you’re tired. You’re just too proud to admit it. Ouch!” She smacked his forehead. “Stop that!” She felt claws along her stomach, tickling her lightly. “You’re supposed to be letting me sleep!” She rolled over and jumped on top of him. Yes, he was getting stronger, she wasn’t able to force his arms down anymore. He tossed her back onto the mattress and landed on top of her. “I thought I was too tired for that?” She wrapped her legs around his hips. The heat was building between them.

“Must I prove that I am not tired or weak as you are thinking?” A mischievous smile crossed his face.

“By having sex with me?” she asked innocently. “Yes, please,” she giggled as his lips crashed into hers.

* * *

Yuki listened carefully to the sounds coming from her father’s room. The little one had noticed they were smelling like each other again. The night before she went to her mother’s room because she had a nightmare, the room was dark and empty. She used her nose and found them both asleep curled tightly together in Chichiue’s room. She didn’t have the heart to disturb them. Now hearing what she did on the other side of the door, she simply laughed. Her mother sounded like a cat and deep within her father’s chest there was a rumble she hadn’t heard since before Taiyomaru was born. She covered her mouth trying not to giggle. “What are you doing little one?” Hisato came up behind her.

“Once a guard dog, always a guard dog.” She folded her arms and rolled her eyes as she turned to face him.

Hisato laughed, he couldn’t help himself, this girl was exactly like her father, only she spoke more and wasn’t nearly as emotionally reserved. “Come, Soba-sama says it’s time for lunch.” He held out his hand.

She looked at it like it was poison and brushed past him. For a moment she stopped and asked, “are they back together?”

Hisato could sense the connection between the two of them through the door. It was as powerful as it ever was. He wouldn’t have thought it possible. The broken heart was meant to be a barrier to ever renewing a bond but as Gobodo-sama had said before, it was never about a bond for the two of them. There was always something more. “I believe so.”

For the first time in months, he saw Yuki smile like the little girl she was underneath. She bolted away from him, likely in search of Harutoga to tell him the news. Hisato shook his head following after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Kudo and Comment and ALL THAT WONDERFUL STUFF! I need it right now...like bad. My life is insane.


	22. Satiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru finally sees Natsuki privately and Rin makes peace with Gobodo-sama.
> 
> Ya'll...thank you for being patient with me. My life went to hell about two weeks ago. My in-laws house burned down, thank God they were not hurt. They were out defying isolation, scoring free coffee at a bank and were not home and are safe but we have been helping them to manage their lives and it's so much better now. I have almost finished my college course so I am very happy right now.

Days passed. Natsuki continued helping Rin with her training. They spent the morning in between feeding babies battling it out in the garden. She remained pleased with herself that she was able to fend off the majority of Rin’s attacks and that Rin could no longer keep up with her. The night on the beach had been a mistake, Natsuki knew that much. She felt the need to prove that she wasn’t the stupid child that everyone seemed to think she was. She learned to leap out of the way of the whip. After being hit once by it, Natsuki understood that it wasn’t nearly as strong as she had given it credence. Only when Rin was pushed her to limit was Rin able to send a lash that could break her skin.  
She could tell he was watching them closely. He sat under the trees watching the two babies and watching his other two hanyous play. They spent most of the time with Gobodo-sama, who claimed it was to give Rin and Sesshomaru time. The children enjoyed their freedom. They employed games of hide and seek in the gigantic castle, nearly every room was fair game. Natsuki found herself having to dodge their antics. She learned quickly to avoid Yuki who still seemed to harbor hatred for her, even though she helped to save her mother.  
Three days from the challenge, Natsuki received a visitor she hadn’t been expecting. It started with a knock on her bedroom door. “Natsuki?”  
She blanched. She knew that voice. She glanced at Tsukimaru next to her in a basket while she sat in front of a mirror. Maybe I could hide him? She started to feel panicked, there was nowhere she could hide him, and the infant wasn’t exactly the most placid and her father probably already smelled him. She ran through every scenario possible to attempt an explanation when the door banged open and her father strode across the room. There was fire in his eyes. They were near tinging red. His fangs were slightly elongated, his white hair flew in the wind he created from his steps.  
Instinctively she rose and stood between her father and her child. She planted her feet firmly on the marble floor and let her hands rest on the basket. “Chichiue,” she tilted her head.  
“What have you done?” he fumed at her. “Do you know what you have done? I had a tentative peace with the Dog Lord before this. What do you think will happen when he finds out that you are my daughter?”  
She couldn’t think of an answer. Her father, Kensaku had been vying to replace Inu No Taisho for centuries once the Western Lands were abandoned. Sesshomaru was left unawares that the peace between the two was tentative on his bonding to Natsuki when Rin passed away. Kensaku was powerful in his own right, but he was nowhere near as powerful as Sesshomaru.  
“Do you have anything to say for yourself? Do you know how hard I worked for this alliance? His mother could end it with the snap of her fingers for what you did!” he continued raging at her. “You are a stupid child, Natsuki!”  
Her heart fell into her feet. Everyone seemed to think she was a stupid child, an idiot child, anything but intelligent.  
“How could you not know that Touma was not to be trusted? Did your instincts tell you nothing? Nothing!” He grabbed her forcefully by the arm in an attempt to separate her from her child.  
Instinct screamed something at her in that moment. She set both hands down on her father’s arm, spraying him with dokkasu. He flinched in pain, giving her a quizzical look. “I’m not as weak as I was when we last met Chichiue.” She dug her claws into his skin, forcing his hands off of her.  
“No, but you are just as idealistic and idiotic!” His hand came up faster than she saw and landed hard on her cheek.  
Natsuki whimpered in pain. He hadn’t done that since her body was that of a child. She held her hand to her cheek, forcing back the tears that were gathering in the corners of her eyes.  
“Natsuki?” Came a tenor in the hallway. The voice was grating and angry. Sesshomaru’s hands were slightly balled up. “Kensaku.” He raised an eyebrow.  
“Sesshomaru-sama.” He bowed low. “Allow me to apologize for my daughter’s foolishness,” Kensaku spoke the last word with a furious look at Natsuki.  
“Leave,” Sesshomaru demanded.  
Kensaku’s face contorted in confusion. “Sesshomaru-sama, perhaps we should make time to meet and discuss current events.”  
“Leave,” he repeated himself, even colder and firmer than before.  
“Natsuki you will return to our home with the child until he is weaned,” Kensaku snarled at her as he made for the door.  
“She will remain in my mother’s care.” Sesshomaru grasped Kensaku by the collar and flung him against the wall outside the room. He let his eyes flash red in threat. His yoki flared, choking Kensaku. “You will not touch the bond-mate of this Sesshomaru again.” Kensaku fell against the wall. Sesshomaru ignored the thud of his body on the floor and entered Natsuki’s room. He closed the door behind him. His face went from stone solid to soft. He approached the embarrassed girl, taking her wrists in his hands, he moved them from her face. He tilted his head to view the mark on her face more closely. He lifted her chin and angled her cheek towards his mouth and nuzzled the mark left behind. He held onto the ends of her fingers, gently caressing her knuckles and pulled her to his chest. “Put your arms around me,” he coaxed her.  
“Won’t your human be upset that you are here?” Natsuki couldn’t resist. His chest was rumbling in a comforting way. She moved her shoulders in and sighed. It came out more as a sputter. “S…s…sorry,” she sniffled, “it’s my fault.”  
“Rin knows I am here. We were in the garden. I felt your distress,” he finished by brushing his lips against hers. “Sit with me.” He lowered himself onto the bench by the window. He guided Natsuki into his lap, rather than next to him. “Your heart is heavy.” He pushed her head against his shoulder and set his cheek against hers.  
“Must I say why? Is it not painfully obvious?” She shivered at the strength of his yoki enveloping her. The rumbling within his rib cage made her melt into his embrace.  
“When Rin was a child, even now, she finds speaking her thoughts comforting. Even if they hurt.” He let his claws run through Natsuki’s white hair. He lifted her chin again and ran his nose along her cheek. “This Sesshomaru would listen.” Her lips pouted out towards his. He gathered them in his mouth pulling her face closer to his.  
She pulled back breathing heavily. “It seems everyone thinks I am stupid. I am trying. I know what I did was wrong.”  
“You are young and ignorant, perhaps foolish. But far from stupid.” He chuckled. “And brave. It takes courage to defy my mother. You have held your head high, despite the events that have transpired.” He let his lips fall on hers again. “In time you may be more powerful than my mother, and this Sesshomaru will be proud to have you by my side.”  
“You really do know what to say,” she laughed. She accepted his fingers running over her cheeks redirecting the flow of her tears. “I want more from you.” She let her yoki brush against his. It was seductive, heated and swirling with want. “I know I shouldn’t.”  
“I came to give it to you.” He ran his thumb along her bottom lip. His voice was throaty and quiet, “where is your fire, Natsuki? Where is the demoness that couldn’t keep her hands off me?”  
“Her instincts tell her that you are bonded to someone else and that my actions caused the one I am meant to love, eventually, harm. Therefore if I repeat them, I am likely to cause you harm again. It bubbles inside of me, like a mountain fire.” She pressed his hand to her heart.  
“She knows I am here,” he repeated himself and inhaled her hair, exhaling tensely. He rested his crescent moon against hers. He pulled at the fabric of her multiple layers, revealing her supple white skin. He ran his thumb from her ear down to the tender skin between her shoulders. He smiled as her skin prickled in goosebumps. “this Sesshomaru will cool your fire,” before he could kiss her again. She tensed at his touch. Both her scent and his connection to her puzzled him. “You are nervous this time.”  
Natsuki tried to laugh. It came out as a sheepish giggle. “I was…well you felt it last time. It was like a swirling vortex between us, the moment I saw you, I couldn’t resist. And after, knowing your child was within me, I couldn’t stop myself. Now, I…” she stopped and stuttered as his claws ran into her hair, cupping the back of her head, tilting her open mouth closer to his. She allowed the invasion of his tongue and his lips pressed tightly against hers. She lived in the long kiss, feeling his hand brush and run through her hair. The other found its way behind her, slicing neatly through her obi. She pushed back slightly. “I’m not sure I know what to do,” she gasped. His mouth found the tender skin on her shoulder. His fangs dug in harshly sending shock waves down her spine. She held his face while he worked his way up to her ear, back down her neck and then pushed open the fabric of her kimonos.  
“Let me see your beauty,” his tone was more hoarse with need. “Stand up.” He held his hand out to guide her. “Let me see,” he pushed the first layer off her shoulders, the fine maroon kimono with gold embroidery landed at her feet. The next was turquoise with silver argyle, she undid the smaller tie for that one and let it fall. The final was a sheer yellow silk.  
He felt himself growing warm and hard. Through the silk he could already make out the sheen of her breasts, the dip of her hips and the fine hair of her heat. When she was naked, Sesshomaru approached her. He nuzzled her neck lovingly. He untied his own obi, and removed his white haori, and inner layer. He watched with glee as her eyes widened. He pulled her to him, taking her lips in his, encouraging her hands to explore. He set them on his chest. “Touch me,” he whispered to her. “Explore the body this Sesshomaru.”  
“You’re sure, your human is okay with this?”  
He nodded. “She understands,” he replied. “She feels conflicted regarding our connection, but is appreciative of your, mmh,” his eyes flicked close as her fangs dug into one of his pecs. Her hands ran the length of his stomach. She wrapped her arms around him, bringing him against her naked body. “Help,” he grunted.  
“And you?” Her eyes were hopeful. She was desperate to redeem herself for some of the pain she caused.  
“Grateful.” He gave Natsuki time to explore his body. Her hands touched his back, ran down his mokomoko, tangled themselves in his hair. The scent of her arousal was invigorating, rousing his senses. She smelled like the heat of the oceanside when the sun was at its zenith.   
“This is not how I imagined this.” She flinched as his fingers found her tender mounds and circled the tip in his claws  
“Did you imagine I would take you like a beast? In the past, if you meant nothing to me, I would. But you have yet to understand true pleasure.” He led her hands down to his obi. She nervously untied it, revealing him to her. Her eyes widened. She had yet to see him in this way, during the daylight with the sun streaming through the window. He pushed her towards the bed. “Lay down.” He tipped Natsuki over onto her back. He used his knees to make a place for himself between her legs. He pulled her hips up to his and teased her sensitive parts with his own heat. His back ached for release. “This will only happen once. I can only ask for so much understanding from her.” His gaze captivated Natsuki’s.  
“I understand,” it came out more desperate than she wanted. She wrapped her legs around his hips urging him forward.  
“Not yet.” He tapped her nose playfully.  
She wrinkled her nose in bewilderment.  
“You will know when. Be patient.” He took a trimerous breath and let his mouth work its way down her body. A new body to explore, with new sensitivities. He found that her neck brought her the most pleasure. She seemed offended by the noises he was eliciting from her, so he made it his goal to see how many he could get her to make. He lapped at both sides of her neck, while her hands tangled into his hair again. He cupped her breasts and rolled their tips in his fingers. Her back arched into his touch. He grinned knowing that soon, she would be very aggravated when he had her moaning even louder. He took his time, letting his mouth wash her body in steaming kisses, around her sides, circling her navel, between her breasts until he was low and his mouth was just by her curls.  
She swallowed hard. “What are you doing?” Her hands rested timidly on his shoulders. Her claws dug into his muscles, cutting into his skin.  
“Relax,” he adjured her. He parted her opening, and nuzzled her swollen bud.  
“Oh!” she shrieked.  
He had to stifle his laughter. It was louder than he had expected.  
“Why do you keep making me make these sounds? Uh!” She felt his tongue dip into her and then flick upwards. “Oh my.” She gripped harder, feeling the electricity growing inside her body. She let her yoki wash over him, binding with his as the pleasure increased. His tongue continued its lapping, his mouth its urging. “It burns, please.” She was becoming desperate. She never imagined it would feel this way. His fingers found her next. Her eyes shot wide open when they entered her. So this was what he was doing that night they were together.  
“Does it feel good?” he asked, stopping long enough to get confirmation.  
She nodded her head, gasping for air. He resumed his ministrations with her affirmation. “Sesshomaru!” she yelled hitting her peak, her muscles tensing to firmness then releasing then pulsing in waves. When she opened her eyes, he was over her nestled comfortably between her legs. He kissed her mouth, letting his tongue run along her fangs. “Wow.” She held him around the waist. Her right hand slid down the sweat of his stomach lower. “Can I?” She sought his permission.  
He nodded comfortably and rested on his side next to her. “Touch me,” he adjured her, taking her hand and helping her wrap her fingers around him. He gripped her shoulders when she began stroking him. “It feels good,” he whispered. He groaned quietly, “I want to be inside of you now.” He moved her hand.   
She held his chest, helping him to settle over her.   
“Thank you Natsuki, for helping me save her.” He laced her lips with his own. He lowered his hips into her and she gasped when he entered. “If it hurts tell me.”  
“Is everyone this gentle?” She felt herself tightening around him, out of breath.  
“No. Humans cannot make love like yokai. In the past, I would have taken you harshly. There is more pleasure this way, for both. Did you enjoy my touches?”  
“Yes, oh…” she moaned as he rocked his hips deeper into hers. “oh…oh…” She continued, feeling her arousal come back. She pulled his mouth to hers, trying her best to bring a sound from his mouth. She let her hips find a rhythm with his. A single tear ran down her cheek when she felt his yoki enter, caressing their bond, bringing them closer than they were before, and deepening what was there.   
He caught the tear in his tongue, then shivered and collapsed on top of her. He rolled to his side pulling out slowly. “Rest with me.”  
“She won’t miss you?”  
“She knows where I am,” he repeated, confidently.  
Natsuki put her hand over her mouth, yawning quietly. “Why am I so tired?”  
Sesshomaru let out a terse sigh. “When our yoki touches the way it did, it takes some of our strength. Sleep is best afterwards.”  
“I haven’t slept since Tsukimaru was born,” she frowned. She glanced up at Sesshomaru. “Will you stay with me?”  
“Yes.” He kissed the top of her head. “Come closer.” He pulled her body against his own, sharing his warmth with hers. “This will not happen again.”  
“I understand,” she sighed sadly. “It was good. Thank you. The yearning is less now.” She touched her heart.  
He smiled proudly. “It was.” He became pensive and turned on his side, pulling Natsuki’s arm around his waist. He set his forehead against hers. “Listen to me, if your life is threatened again, send for me. I will come. If you are in danger, touch your heart and send for me.”  
She nodded and lifted her lips up to his. “May I kiss you? One last time?”  
He brushed his lips against hers. “Sweet one,” he stroked her cheek, “our time will come. The years will pass quickly.”  
“I will look forward to those years.” She let a tear come to her eyes again. “Keep her safe, this heart of yours. Her love, I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling something like that. Even after this, I don’t feel love for you. I live in her shadow, knowing that you will never love me as you do her.”  
He sighed. “I do not love you. I do this to quiet both of us. You will give Rin and this Sesshomaru space indefinitely. Now rest.” He made the same deep rumbling sound in his chest. He soaked her soul in his yoki, until her eyes were shut tight.

* * *

  
Rin sat tensely by the lake in the garden. She watched as Harutoga and Yuki chased each other. Harutoga was getting faster. She hadn’t noticed it before, but he was finally thinning out. His chunky legs were swelling into small muscles. He was nearly keeping up with Yuki. In time, they would be the same size and the three years that separated them would mean nothing as they aged and lived for centuries longer than she would.   
Harutoga bounded over a log. He flipped over a bush and landed on Yuki’s shoulders, knocking her down. They landed in a pile next to each other laughing. “I win!” Harutoga giggled. “I did it! Ka-san! Did you see? I got her!”  
“I saw!” Rin called to them. She cradled Taiyomaru on her front. She nursed him and rocked softly comforting the whining child. “Chichiue is busy right now, you can’t start fussing,” she scolded him. She stood and began to walk around the pond. She made it around twice before she felt a swell of yoki behind her. “Please, I’m tired of fighting with you.” She didn’t need to turn around to know who was behind her.  
“Why did you leave him?” Gobodo-sama asked.  
Rin turned timidly. She knew better than to pick a fight, but she would if it was what needed to happen. “Do you understand hurt, Gobodo-sama? Did it never hurt you that Inu No Taisho took another? That he bonded Izayoi and not you?”  
“Foolish girl.” She waved it off, “but I did have one, before him. The father of my daughter who was killed. It was his enemies who sent the assassins. She was not their only victim that night. So yes, I understand hurt. I mourned his death for centuries until Toga gave me Sesshomaru. I swore to protect his happiness, as a mother, you must understand that.”  
Rin smiled. “I do.” She nuzzled Taiyomaru. “He’s finished eating. Do you want to hold him?”  
“Of course.” She grasped her pudgy grandson. “Do you know how powerful this child will be when he comes of age?” she asked Rin.  
“I can’t sense it. I sense his yoki, but it doesn’t feel any different than Yuki or Harutoga,” she admitted.  
“Human.” Gobodo-sama shook her head.  
Rin cautiously touched Gobodo-sama’s hand. “Do you remember when you came to meet Yuki?” Rin waited for her to show signs of recognition. “You were stuck on the other side of the barrier. We didn’t know about Hisato being yours then. I came to the boundary and was so excited to show you Yuki and you were so happy. I think you were happier she was a girl than her father was.”  
“She reminds me of my daughter,” Gobodo-sama answered quietly. “You are good for him, Rin. You don’t know the gift you have been for my son’s soul. When your children are old enough, when they find someone that will cherish them the way that you do, you will understand.”  
“I do love him,” Rin interjected quickly.  
“I know. Protect that love. I tried to. Perhaps it would have been better had I never told Kensaku that Natsuki would match Sesshomaru. I had hoped that by finding the ones that would connect with him, I could keep them from enticing him until you die.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t give you a chance to explain. Can we be friends again?” Rin asked hopefully. “I owe you my life. We were friends once.”  
Gobodo-sama gave her hand a squeeze. “Is he with her now?”  
Rin lowered her eyes to the ground. “Yes,” she said quietly. “It needed to happen. I felt it. The last time they healed me. They...I think she yearns more for him and he wanted to make her feel like her contributions were valued.”  
“It still hurts?”  
“Yes,” Rin sighed. “I understand what he did with her made as much sense as me stepping in front of Touma’s blade.”  
“You are a brave one, Rin-sama.” Hisato came forward from his perch. “He loves you.”  
“Is it bad that I hope one day he will love her?” She looked at them for confirmation, “I’m twenty seven, my life is limited. Kagome-sama said humans live up to 90 in her time, but here, I may only have another thirty to forty years. Then who will care for him?”  
“Natsuki will take good care of him when your time comes and he can let you go. Rin, she will care for him. He will not be alone.” Gobodo-sama wrapped an around Rin’s shoulders.  
Rin smiled. “I should continue training.”  
“When are you going to tell them?” Hisato pointed at the children. “Yuki and Harutoga have become suspicious but they are afraid to get their hopes up.”  
“I think it’s better we tell them together. When he is done with her.” Rin rolled her eyes, “I’m not sure I will get used to this.”  
“You won’t have to. Their yearning is satiated.” Gobodo-sama gave a cruel chuckle. “And will be for many, many, years to come. She will remain here. He will visit Tsukimaru frequently. They could easily wait until you are a wrinkled prune of an old woman before needing to be together again.”  
Rin laughed, wiping a few tears from her eyes. “I will have him for a few decades and they will continue together for centuries. It almost seems cruel.”  
“A human life is meant to be limited dear. The last time I said that you were a child dead on my chair.” Gobodo-sama gave Rin a good squeeze. “Continue to make my son happy. You are good at it. You have been since you were a child. Don’t worry after the future, your children and Sesshomaru will be well cared for.” She nuzzled Taiyomaru’s nose.  
“You don’t worry after the future?” Rin asked her.  
“Not at all. When you are as old as I am, you learn which worries are trifles.” They walked together towards the children.   
“How old are you?” Rin inquired.  
“I’m not sure. I lost track several millennia ago,” they filled the air with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and kudo! This is the most controversial chapter in this story. I expect flames :)


	23. The Final Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the last day before the faceoff between Rin and the Ogre King. The family is finally united and they prepare for their final day together. 
> 
> Well...ya'll let me just tell you, my life is still insane. My in-laws are doing better but it's going to be a long haul getting their house rebuilt and it's still giving me tons of stress.
> 
> Good news: I passed my capstone with an A. I literally turned the first draft in and was like fuck it. I can't, I'm sorry just grade me for this and I'll take a C or better. Thank Goodness. I mean no disrespect to my lovely professor but I am soooo overwhelmed right now. 
> 
> If you are all interested I have started a blog on blogger:  
> https://elohiniarswritingadventure.blogspot.com/
> 
> I'm still figuring out how to work the damn thing...but enjoy

It was the day before the challenge. Rin and Sesshomaru sat in the garden. It seemed that more and more of their days were being spent in this place. Although the air was thin, Rin had adjusted to the updrafts. She even helped the gardeners one evening. She held Sesshomaru’s hand in hers and leaned against his shoulder. 

“We should tell them,” she whispered in his ear. He held both sons again in the crooks of his knees. “They can smell us on each other. Yuki told Hisato she found us in bed together.”

Sesshomaru let a small smile pass his lips. “Yuki, Harutoga!” he called his children. They came running, bounding over logs, trees and bushes. Yuki showed off by jumping clean over the large pond. She landed on both feet and nearly fell forward. They clambered to find places around their parents.

“Why do you always hold Tsukimaru? He isn’t part of our family,” Yuki grumbled as she sat down in Rin’s lap.

“None of that Yuki,” Rin corrected her. “He is your brother.”

“No he’s not.” She let her chin rest in her hands. “He’s _her_ son.”

“He’s your father’s son,” Rin corrected, “and she saved your Ka-san’s life. For that you should be grateful. Chichiue would not have been able to save my life without her. For that she deserves your respect. And Tsukimaru, you must promise that you will love him and protect him.”

“Why?” Harutoga asked.

“Because, brothers and sisters aren’t meant to fight,” Rin explained to them. “Do you want to tell them?” She squeezed Sesshomaru’s knee.

“You,” he replied.

“After the challenge, we’re coming back here for another week, then we are going home, our home. In the field of daisies.” Rin watched their eyes light up. “Chichiue and I are together again.”

Yuki hugged her father, then her mother. “I can’t wait to go home!”

“Really?” Harutoga asked.

“Yes.” Sesshomaru tickled his two children.

“Haru, we’re going home!” Yuki hugged her brother.

“Harutoga,” Rin corrected Yuki. “No more calling him just Haru. He was named after my father and Chichiue’s father.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes widened. He gave Rin’s hand a firm squeeze. He had never said anything about the shortening of Harutoga’s name, he accepted it as a pet name.

“His father was a great youkai, and we owe him the proper respect. From now on, you will call him Harutoga.” Rin leaned against Sesshomaru’s arm.

“Fine,” Yuki huffed. “What about Natsuki? What happens to her?”

“She will remain here with Tsukimaru,” Sesshomaru answered.

“But you’re still bonded to her?” Yuki asked.

“Yes,” Sesshomaru said.

Yuki thought about that for a few moments. She tickled Tsukimaru’s cheek with her claws. “He does look like you, doesn’t he? Why can’t she live in our home with us?”

Rin and Sesshomaru shared an awkward look. Rin glanced at her toes. “Perhaps she will one day, when your Ka-san is old.”

“So she stays here?” Yuki asked.

“Yes,” Sesshomaru replied again, “her place is here, for now.”

“Can I go play?” Harutoga asked.

“Go on,” Sesshomaru told him, he nudged Yuki too. When they were out of earshot he took Rin’s hand in his. “I will build a separate room for she and I. Our room, will always be our room.”

“It’s okay.” Rin tried to smile, she touched Sesshomaru’s heart, parting the cloth and sliding her fingers across his skin. “It’s back.” She felt the ridges of the root-like scar that once covered part of his chest.

Sesshomaru glared at the scar. “Chichiue,” he muttered. “Perhaps he still thinks I need a physical reminder.”

“Maybe we both do.” She moved closer, rubbing the large scar across her waist. “What is the song you sing for them? About the sun and the moon coming together?”

“She told you,” he sighed. “It’s an old legend. It’s thought that one day, the end of our kind will come on the wings of the wind, and the sun and the moon will come together and lend us their strength to survive.”

“Is it true?” Rin asked him.

“I don’t know,” he told her softly. “Tsukimaru is hungry.”

“Where is Natsuki?” Rin inquired.

“Resting. Between helping you and this Sesshomaru, she needs to rest.”

“I wonder if my milk will be as good as his mother’s.” Rin lifted the little baby up to her breast. “He’s still so tiny. How long will he be a baby?”

“A few years, thank you, Rin,” he scooted closer to her.

“Sing me the song,” Rin told him.

“This Sesshomaru doesn’t sing,” he reminded her.

“Sing me the song,” she kissed the underside of his chin, “sing to me, my love.”

_ The moon leads the sun, as it kisses the night sky _

_ The sun follows the moon as he bids the day goodbye _

_ For a moment when the sun is low on the horizon _

_ The moon shares the sky and together they wizen _

_ They speak of a day when the wind will grow wings _

_ And bring to an end, the end of all things _

_ Yokai and hanyou together will depart _

_ Unless the wisdom of the sun and moon _

_ Blend together to save us from our doom _

_ Born from strife, their lights will glow _

_ Bound forever in the journey below _

_ For one brief moment their lights will combine _

_ Together forever a radiance divine _

“Do you think it means something?” she asked Sesshomaru curiously, her head still tilted against him. Tsukimaru gurgled bubbles against her breast. “That tickles little one.”

He frowned and shrugged his shoulders. “I wish them to be friends, allies. Not enemies.” He picked up Taiyomaru. “Perfect sun and sacred moon, Yuki and Harutoga.”

* * *

Rin and Sesshomaru took their dinner in the garden that night. High in the sky the moon shown above them. They sat at a low table that was filled with foods Rin actually liked, like fresh fruits, melons, steamed vegetables in a semi-sweet sauce, rice and grilled fish. She poked at her food with her chopsticks, trying to decide whether her stomach was upset because she was going to be sick or from nerves. Next to Sesshomaru was a tray of raw wild boar. His body had regained some of its former strength. “I’m sending for Inuyasha,” he told Rin.

Rin grimaced when Yuki and Harutoga picked up pieces of raw meat. “Ewww,” she blanched. “You let them eat raw meat?”

“Why not?” he asked, “it’s delicious.” He bit off a juicy thigh piece.

“I like it.” Yuki did the same, her fingers were tinged red.

Harutoga lifted a piece, sniffed it, licked the mushy flesh, then chomped a big bite down. “It’s yummy.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Rin put her head between her knees. A breath of warmth washed through her bond to Sesshomaru, comfort and something else. “Confidence?” She looked at him.

Sesshomaru nodded. “Somehow, these events gave you back the fire I loved so much about you. It’s good to see. You are strong, my heart. You will be fine. Tell me the weak spots?”

“Below the sternum, the back of the knees, the neck, particularly on the sides where the veins are the largest, the eyes…” she paused.

“And?” Sesshomaru pushed her knowledge. He filled her plate with the food he knew she loved. “Eat. Two more.”

“Um…the whole stomach? No that’s not right.” She flopped her head back down. “The inside of the thighs?”

“That’s one. The other?” Sesshomaru moved himself closer to Rin, he looped his arm around her waist. “One more.”

“Give me a hint,” she couldn’t think of where it was.

He ran his hand down her back. His claws tickled her sensitive stomach beneath the fabric of her pink kimono.

“Below the ribs but above the pelvic bone in the back!” she yipped in triumph. She hugged Sesshomaru and let her mouth rest on his neck.

“I will be there.” He picked up her chopsticks, and scooped up fish and rice. “Eat. You cannot expect to win on an empty stomach, _human_ ,” he said playfully.

“Can we go?” Yuki asked, she was still chomping away on her raw bore flank.

“No. It’s too dangerous, and I’ll be afraid for you. At least if you are here with Soba-sama I will know you are safe.” Rin tucked her tendrils of hair behind her ears. She gave their hands a squeeze.

“Can we sleep in your bed tonight?” Harutoga asked.

Rin and Sesshomaru shared a glance, his said no, hers said yes. Their eyes battled out to say who would win, until Rin pulled his face to hers, trapping his mouth in a fierce battle. His hand ran from her jawline down her neck. He rested his forehead against hers, nuzzled her nose and said, “yes. You will go swimming with me then tonight.”

Yuki and Harutoga smiled watching their parents. Harutoga whispered into Yuki’s ears, she giggled and whispered something Rin couldn’t make out back. Sesshomaru shot them both with a warning glare. They stopped laughing and went back to their food.

“Hurry up children, it’s getting cold.” Jaken sat with them at the other end of the table. “It does this Jaken good to see you two together again.”

Rin began the arduous task of eating her food. She finished her rice and fish quickly and started on the vegetables. “How much stronger will he be than a regular Ogre?”

“Immensely,” Sesshomaru told her, “if there was time, I would have Totosai reforge your sword. You must remember your breathing, and the feel of dokkasu. It will save you.”

Rin sighed. “I can do this…I can do this.” She drank her tea. “Jaken, can you warm the pot?” 

He lifted Nintojo and blasted the kettle until it steamed. “You will be fine Rin. Look at us. It’s just like it was when we used to travel together.” He rocked the basket holding Taiyomaru.

“Except we have a few additions.” Rin motioned to the children.

“Are you going to have more children?” Yuki glanced at her mother.

Rin shook her head. “I think we are done with three. Well I’m done with three. Sesshomaru?”

He fidgeted in his seat, and gave her the face that said she threw him off again. “Perhaps one day, Natsuki and I will have more. It won’t happen for centuries. Neither one of us will feel the urge for a long time to come.”

“What urge?” Harutoga asked.

Sesshomaru almost had his mouth open to explain when Rin’s hand came down on top of it. “When you’re older.”

“So…does it have something to do with you wrestling naked?” Yuki covered her mouth laughing.

“Perhaps.” Sesshomaru turned to Rin. “They will learn eventually.”

Rin covered her face. “Is it necessary now?”

Sesshomaru considered it. “I knew at her age.”

“How did you know? And what age exactly?”

“One hundred and fifty. I was around the size of a nine year old human. My parents explained it to me. We used to keep a pack of dogs with us, much like Koga’s wolves. I’ve never found a use for dogs to follow this Sesshomaru around. I saw them together, later the female gave birth to a litter of pups. I asked Chichiue and he explained it to me.”

“Explained what?” Harutoga asked on the edge of his seat. “How did a baby get inside of Ka-san’s tummy?”

“It takes a mother and a father,” Rin blushed, “and yes, we cuddle together naked. It’s very special.”

“Chichiue plants a seed vested with my yoki inside of Ka-san, and if we are blessed, it becomes a baby.” His eyes dilated with desire looking at Rin.

“Don’t get any ideas.” She pinched his nose with her chopsticks. “I’m happy with what we have.”

He wiped the sticky rice from his nose, annoyed.

“Harutoga cover your ears.” Yuki stood up and walked over to her father. She cupped her hands over his ears and said so quietly, even Rin couldn’t hear. “I know how they come out, does it go in the same way?”

“Yes,” he said.

Yuki seemed confused, and disgusted all at once. “Does it hurt Ka-san? Like when the baby comes out?”

Sesshomaru started laughing. It was a belly laugh that filled his whole stomach and chest. “No,” he said. “It feels good.”

“Is that what I hear at night?” Her hands were still cupped over his ears.

“Yes.” Sesshomaru tickled her nose. “Cover your ears at night.”

She pulled away. “But it makes me feel safe, seeing you in love.” From confused, to disgusted she suddenly burst into tears. “I was so scared when you weren’t together,” she cried into her father’s shoulder. “Please don’t do that again! Please! I don’t want to leave my home! I don’t want you to fight!”

“Yuki.” Rin moved closer. She embraced her daughter’s back while Sesshomaru held them both. “It’s okay now,” she stroked her daughter’s hair, “it’s okay now.”

Yuki’s body racked with tears. Her face flushed red. Her hands shivered on her father’s shoulder. He stroked her white hair and tickled her cheeks beneath her golden eyes. “It won’t happen again. We may fight, but what happened, it won’t happen again.”

“I missed you so much,” Yuki sobbed, “both of you.”

“I think she’s tired,” Rin whispered to Sesshomaru.

He nodded his head. “Come Yuki, bedtime.” He lifted her off the ground. “Jaken watch over Taiyomaru. Harutoga, come.” He put his hand out to the little boy.

“Ka-san too,” Harutoga said. They walked together down the winding stairs into the hallway, towards Sesshomaru’s room. Together they bathed the two children, splashing them with bubbles. Rin flicked water at Sesshomaru’s face. He threw water back. Before they knew it, the bathroom was soaked in bubbles. Rin was tied up in his whip with her head hanging upside down dangerously close to the water.

“Cheater!” She stuck her tongue out at Sesshomaru. “You couldn’t win without using your yokai tricks.”

“Dai-yokai,” he reminded her.

“If you wish to swim with me, you will set me down,” she fumed at him.

“You’re not really going to swim are you?” Yuki started laughing.

Rin shook her head, pulling her daughter out of the bath. Sesshomaru took Harutoga. They dried them, changed them into Yukatas and put them in the center of the bed. Sesshomaru laid down next to Yuki, Rin next to Harutoga. “Sing to us,” Rin looked at Sesshomaru.

He gave her an annoyed glare. “Very well.” He sang the song about the sun and the moon again. As he did both children drifted off to sleep hugging each other closely.

Rin reached across and held Sesshomaru’s fingers. “We’re lucky you know,” she told him. “Look what we made together.”

“It’s because of their mother’s strong blood.” He rose off the bed and led Rin towards the stairs going down to the bottom of the castle. They walked holding hands. Rin leaned against his shoulder, holding him close to her.

“I do feel stronger,” she told him. “It’s your blood, you know. You’re the Dai-yokai.”

He shook his head. “My seed would not take, if you were not also strong. It would overpower you and result in nothing. Each time we have tried in earnest, we have been given a child. You are powerful.” He opened the doors to the large pool. “Leave!” he announced to the other inu-yokai that were there.

“I didn’t bring anything to swim in,” Rin told him.

“Neither did I.” He grinned, removing his clothes. He set them on a chair. He stripped down to his fundoshi, encouraging Rin to do the same. “Do you remember the first time we swam together?”

“I was fifteen. It all happened right before that night by the fool moon.” Her breath caught seeing his body. The bruises and cuts were gone. She turned him around, picking his arms up, searching beneath them. She traced his chest with her fingers, then took his face and brought his lips to hers. The kiss was hopeful, mournful and peaceful all together. “I love you Sesshomaru.” She put his hand on her heart. “It runs so deeply.”

“And I you, my heart.” He pulled her to him. “Come in the water with me. Let me make love to you.” He slid into the water first. He turned around and held his arms out to Rin. “It’s heated, come.”

She leaned over, allowing him to help her into the warm water. It felt like a hot spring. “Mmmh, that feels good.” Her breasts floated in the water. She wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru’s neck. “The first time we swam together, I was teasing you. We were fighting. You told me I couldn’t because everyone would see and you were mad that Kagome-sama gave me a swimsuit that you thought was revealing. Even though I had been wearing them since I was eleven when she came back. You won’t like what I plan to wear tomorrow.”

“What are you wearing?” His hand cupped her breast.

“When you sent Hisato to bring Kagome and Inuyasha, I asked for something easier to move in. It will be revealing, but I will be able to move faster, hold me.” She pulled his forehead to hers. “I can do this.”

“You will.” He removed his fundoshi, letting it float in the water.

“Our lands will know peace.” She pulled his lips to hers.

“You will be the champion of our people.” He ran his hands up her wet waist. “My heart, you are powerful, you held off Touma, you fight with more heart than a hundred men. You will be fine.” He kissed her forehead.

“Why do you call me, your heart?” Rin asked him. Her hands wandered down his chest.

“He didn’t tell you?” He lifted her hips around his, cinching himself close to her.

“I think he tried to, oh.” She arched her back. His fingers ran up and down her thighs.

He placed her hand over the scar on his chest. “I felt nothing but anger and rage before you. I wanted power and prestige. This was empty. From the moment I met you, I began to feel things I never thought I would, you are my heart. My emotions, my ability to love my children, to love you. There is no better word to describe the impact you had on my life.” He pressed his lips to Rin’s. “Make love to this Sesshomaru.”

“Yes, my love.” She nuzzled his nose, she let her hand trail into the water, grasping him. “I love you.”

“And I you.”

* * *

Rin woke in the morning tangled in the bodies of Sesshomaru, her children and Taiyomaru. Somehow the baby slept against her breast all night long, which happened to be on top of Harutoga’s face. Yuki was horizontal on the bed with her head against Rin’s shins and her legs on top of her father’s knees. Sesshomaru slept on the other side, his mokomoko spread out over everyone and Harutoga’s hands had a death grip on Yuki’s ankles. Rin chuckled. She lifted Taiyomaru up and tried to roll over without disturbing anyone. The moment she moved he let out a high pitched shriek. “Oh, Taiyomaru!” she scolded him. Yuki’s head fell off her legs, slapping into Harutoga’s feet. Harutoga let out a small whine, bolting up right, bashing his forehead into Sesshomaru’s nose. Sesshomaru grunted in pain and rubbed his eyes. “I guess we’re all awake now.” Rin pulled herself out of bed. She nursed the baby on her other side. Harutoga climbed into the only free part of her lap. Yuki moved to her side and stroked the baby’s black hair.

“He looks pure-blooded,” she tickled his pointy ears.

“He’s still a hanyou.” Sesshomaru slid across the bed, laying on his side so all three backs were against his. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she said quietly. “I’m ready.”

“Yuki, go to the kitchen and bring Ka-san breakfast.” Sesshomaru instructed his daughter.

“Yes, Chichiue,” she said.

She returned quickly. Rin dressed in a short kimono. She strapped her sword to her side. Her nerves were on fire. She was unsure if she could do it. She knew how to face ogres but there was something about facing an Ogre King that she wasn’t looking forward to. She ate the food quickly. They had to be at the southern border before midday. The wolves would be there. Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango and Miroku were also supposed to come. “Are you still mad at them?” Rin asked Sesshomaru.

“Yuki, Harutoga, go to the kitchen and get breakfast. We leave soon.” He waited for them to close the door. “I understand their decision to help you. I need Inuyasha’s strength. My body is healed, the yoki is still building.”

Rin sat in his lap. “Tell me you believe in me.”

“I believe in you.”

“I can do this.” She touched the hilt of her sword. “Let’s go.”

He went to the corner of the room. He put his black armor with the thick spikes back on. He clipped it shut. He put his obi on and slid both swords in. He brought Rin close to him, their foreheads against each other, breathing each other’s breath. He touched her face, and kissed her mouth. “No fear.”

A single tear ran down her eyes. “If something happens to me, promise me, you’ll care for them. You’ll make sure they remember me? Even Taiyomaru.”

“You will not be forgotten,” the words were choked out.

“Promise me? If it does, you’ll let me go. Don’t save me again? They need at least one of us. You can’t die with me. Live, please Sesshomaru, live and let your heart be full, love her. Love Natsuki, if I can’t, if I fail...” She kissed his mouth with more passion than she had in the past. “Live, please?”

A tear fell from his eye, only one, he attempted to flick it off his face in defiance of the emotions he felt inside. Rin stopped his hand. “:Let me see the tear.” She caught it with her thumb. “I love you.”

“And I you. We go. Natsuki will care for Taiyomaru.” He lead Rin out of the room. She held the baby. Rin’s eyes shot open when she left their room.

Outside there was an entire escort for her. Akari, Atsuko, their children and husbands, Hisato, Sato, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kagome, all of their children, Shippo and Kohaku lined the halls. Natsuki was at the end, arm waiting to take Taiyomaru. Rin walked as a Queen down the lined halls, she smiled holding Sesshomaru’s hand.

“To our Queen!” Akari yelled.

“To our Queen!” the rest responded.

“To our Queen!” Atsuko yelled.

“To our Queen!” the hall responded.

“To the Lord and Lady of the Middle Lands.” Gobodo-sama held a glass in her hands. “May you continue to serve those around you, bring happiness to those that know you and teach this old dog new tricks.” She elbowed Sesshomaru in the stomach.

The hall was filled with laughter. Rin stopped by Natsuki and gave her Taiyomaru. “If anything happens to me.”

“I will love him as my own. He will know his mother’s bravery and kindness. You were right, being a mother brings you to new levels of self. Thank you, for giving me the strength to birth Tsukimaru, despite the pain it caused you.” Natsuki embraced Rin tightly. “Rin-sama,” she bowed.

Sesshomaru held out his arm again. Rin looped hers through his elbow. She stopped again by Yuki and Harutoga. “Soba-sama will care for you,” she wiped their eyes.

“What if something happens?” Yuki choked back a tear.

“It will be as it should. I will fight with all of my heart to come back here and be with you.” Rin hugged them tightly.

“What if you die?” Harutoga held onto his mother’s arm.

“Then Natsuki will care for you, and Soba-sama and Chichiue.” Rin tapped his nose. “My Harutoga, you have so many who will love you.”

“And us.” Inuyasha came up from behind, followed by his children and Kagome.

“Good luck Rin.” Shippo ran up and hugged her.

“We go,” Sesshomaru intoned firmly. He walked down the entrance stairs to Gobodo-sama’s castle. He pressed his lips against Rin’s neck. He pulled her waist close to his.

“Aren’t we riding Aun?” Rin asked. Jaken sat on the dragon’s back with Nintojo in hand.

“I wish to hold you,” Sesshomaru said plainly.

Rin let a mischievous smile across her face. “Catch me?”

“Jump.” He motioned with his head.

“Promise me, you’ll let me go?” She held his hands.

“Don’t ask me this.” He pressed his lips against hers.

“Promise me,” she repeated herself. “Sesshomaru, if anything happens, they need their father please, swear to me? My love will live on in your heart, please? I can’t fight knowing you’ll endanger yourself and leave our children nothing. Please, please, swear to me on your father, you will let me go?”

His tongue felt like lead, his teeth like coal, acid burned in his stomach,  _ this is not a premonition of things to come.  _ “I swear.”

“If this is our last conversation, Sesshomaru.” She licked the inside of his mouth. “Thank you for loving me, for giving me children. For bringing me back with Tenseiga for rescuing me every time I was kidnapped as a child. For leaving me in Kaede’s village, and for loving me.”

“It is I who should thank you, for breathing life into my cold heart. For giving me my true strength, for being my heart. I forbid you to die.” He nuzzled her nose. “We must go, it will be an insult to be late and dishonor our lands.”

Rin took a shaky deep breath and ran for the edge of the stairs. She leapt spread eagle into the empty sky. She let the wind beat at her body as the ground rushed towards her.  _ I can do this. I will come back to my family. _

Sesshomaru caught her just as she plummeted through the last layers of clouds. He held her to his chest. She felt his yoki wash over her. “Don’t waste your strength!” she yelled over the whipping wind.

“I’m ensuring you’re healed completely.” He reached within her, especially her fragile stomach cavity. There were no signs of bleeding or further injury. He nuzzled her neck as he flew towards their southern border. “It’s going to be crowded, you’ll have an audience.”

“What? Why?” Rin gripped his wrist around her waist as they made their descent.

“The Healer came after you because he assumed you were easy prey. No one saw your battle with Touma in the forest. If they had, word would have spread that the mate of this Sesshomaru is not to be trifled with. After you defeat the Ogre King, all will know your strength and power.” He landed on the ground in a field that bordered the south. There was a line drawn.

Against the line of trees Koga and a large contingent of his wolves stood nearby. Their children played in the trees, swinging from the branches. Hinatamaru and a delegation of fox demons sat in another circle. Rin recognized scores of villagers from her home, fire cats and even people from Kaede’s village. Her eyes dilated. She turned to face Sesshomaru. “And if I lose?”

“You won’t,” he said proudly, “you are mine. I know your strength. Did you eat enough this morning?”

Rin nodded her head.

Sesshomaru rubbed her shoulders. “Are you thirsty?”

“Yes,” Rin said.

“Jaken!” Sesshomaru called.

The imp came running from the throngs of people. Nintojo waved around in his hands. “Yes, Sesshomaru-sama?” He bowed low to Sesshomaru and Rin.

“Bring Rin water,” he said. He massaged the tips of her fingers. “My heart.” He pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head. “I love you,” he whispered quietly.

“I love you too.” She lifted her mouth up to meet his. “I need to get ready. I can’t fight in these clothes.” She turned to the left. Jaken came back with her water. She drank it gratefully. “I’ll be back, Kagome-sama! Sango-san!” she called her two friends. “They even brought all their children.”

“I need a word with Sota and Taisho.” Sesshomaru went to find them.

“Just don’t kill them.” Rin chuckled.

“Not about that. After his disappearance, Sota’s  _ she _ became concerned. She would like to take him as her mate now. I spoke to mother about it, o-gami and inu are closely related enough, there should be no issues in their union. However, wolves have wedding ceremonies. There are details to be arranged.”


	24. The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle has finally come, but the Ogre King is not what he seems and Rin's life is in danger.
> 
> Oh we're getting there!! After this only two more chapters :) What will happen? Dun Dun Dun!! 
> 
> Okay my life is still insane. But whatever.

Kagome sat with her two boys under a group of trees. She held a book asking them questions about the words inside. She puffed her bangs out of her face and pointed to one word and asked Sota, then the next word and asked Taisho. They both struggled to read the text. “You two have been neglecting your studies,” she scolded them. The day was warming quickly. Her clothes were a mixture of fabrics from the Feudal Era and her time. She wore a thick strapped pink tank top that accentuated the curve of her hips and breasts and the traditional red hikama. “I should enroll you in high school next year.”

“How would you explain my hair Hahaue? My moon?” Sota asked his mother. “If Ojisama will take us back, I would rather stay here.”

“That’s because of her.” Taisho laughed.

“I know all about this girlfriend of yours.” Kagome ruffled Sota’s hair.

“Kagome-sama!” Rin ran up to her. She hadn’t expected to feel so much relief seeing her friend and sister in law.

Kagome stood up clearly relieved and embraced Rin tightly. “He did it? I can’t believe he did it.”

“Not without some scars left behind, but he did.” Rin hugged Kagome again. “Did you bring it?”

“Yes. He’s not going to like it, but it will make it easier for you to move.” Kagome dug around in her pack that was next to her. She pulled out a pair of brown mesh shorts and a brown sports bra. “I made sure they matched, so they look stylish. And earth colors, so you don’t draw attention to yourself.”

Rin smiled. “Can I sit with you?”

“Of course, boys continue reading,” she said firmly.

“I still can’t believe he saved me. I thought I was dead for sure this time.” Rin touched her stomach.

“If you understand the science behind it, it makes sense. I told my brother Sota about it. He did an experiment with the blood sample he had from Sesshomaru from all those months ago. He only needed a few drops. He cut his hand and then dropped the blood onto it. He took a sample of the cells in the cut before, during and after. And get this, once Sesshhomaru’s blood combined with his, his cells multiplied faster, and the T-cells that help with healing quadrupled. He ended up with a massive fever from it. Apparently yokai blood has more healing cells than ours do and they replicate at a faster rate. He assumes that when he heals you using his yoki, it fuses with your cells and makes them behave like yokai cells.”

“I’ve heard about these cells before, what are they?” Rin asked.

Kagome drew a line in the dirt and picked up a handful of pebbles. “Imagine the line in the dirt is the cut. For a human when an injury happens, the cells go in and fill the cut pulling the skin back together, the same with internal injuries. Say if you have twenty cells come into the area, pure blooded demons have two hundred. That’s how potent it is.”

“Wow.” Rin smiled. “I guess I’m lucky.” She scanned their side of the camp looking for Sesshomaru. She found him amongst the wolves. His hair contrasted the sea of black. “Now your brother knows how strong his blood is. Even with our bond intact I get a fever if he uses his blood to heal me. It’s more pleasant now that he knows how to use his yoki.”

“How are things between you two now?” Kagome asked.

“You two should go to Sesshomaru. He was looking for you earlier,” Rin told Sota and Taisho.

The boys rose and left.

“Better. We’re together again.” Rin sat with her knees up and her hands behind her.

“And her?” Kagome wondered about Natsuki.

“That’s complicated.” Rin frowned slightly. “He can’t undo the bond to her. There’s no way to break it unless we kill her. He doesn’t love her, and she doesn’t love him. They are fond of each other and you saw what happened when you fired that arrow. If you tried to kill her, he would kill you. And,” Rin took a deep breath and looked away, “they had a child together. Three months after Taiyomaru was born.”

“What?!!!” Kagome yelled. “And you’re sitting here and taking it? If that were Inuyasha I would kill him! Ugh! I saw Harutoga holding a white haired baby when we brought you to Gobodo-sama’s castle. I didn’t know it was his baby.”

Rin sighed. “I’m resigned to it. I missed him and he saved my life. I love him. It wasn’t his fault. Inuyasha is hanyou, as strange as it sounds there are some of his primal urges his humanity protects him against. Taking a second mate is one of them. Gobodo-sama found her in an attempt to avoid Sesshomaru ever running across her. She knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. Touma told her how to find him. I suppose I should be angrier about it, but they won’t seek each other out again until I am dead, or old. So for nowm he’s mine and I don’t have to share him,” she tossed the clothes Kagome brought her from one hand to another.

“What about the child?”

“He will visit his son often, Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru are like little twins. Natsuki is caring for Taiyomaru right now,” Rin answered. “I’m so nervous.”

“You should wear armor.” Sango came from the bushes and sat down next to Rin. “You don’t want to get run through again.”

“It won’t help.” Rin shrugged her shoulders, “Sesshomaru said the Ogre King will be bigger, faster and smarter than a regular ogre. If he hits me even once, I’m done for. I hope he’s still slow.” Rin picked at the dirt. “I can’t believe I’m fighting an Ogre King.”

Sango chuckled as she sat down behind Rin. “You are the wife of a King now. The Ogre King chose you because he knows he can’t defeat Sesshomaru. Do you want it braided?” Sango pulled a brush from her bag.

“Yes, please” Rin answered. She lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper so only Kagome and Sango could hear. “If the Ogre King knew how weakened he was now, he could easily defeat Sesshomaru. He’s still recovering from sustaining my life.”

“Then you must fight to protect him. If you die, he will be broken,” Sango replied.

“How did you know that Touma was attacking Kagome-sama?” Rin tried not to move her head as Sango worked through her hair.

Kagome closed her mouth. “Some things are secrets.”

Sango and Rin both glanced at her confused. “You never came back after you left,” Rin said.

“I was too tired. Sealing your bond to him and that blast against his mother, wore me out.” Kagome stretched her arms. “Don’t tell her, but I don’t think I could bind or seal Gobodo-sama. She’s too strong.”

“I could have told you that,” Sango sighed. “Her yoki is the strongest I have ever felt. Even stronger than Sesshomaru-sama’s.” She finished brushing Rin’s hair and set about plaiting it into a French braid.

Rin just sighed and took out her sword, focusing on feeling the yoki inside of it. She wanted to make sure she could wield dokkasu, without any complications. She thumbed the ruby eyed hilt. Her finger ran the length of the muzzle and back up to the eyes. She felt the strength humming inside of it and closed her eyes. She held it away from her as the air filled with dokkasu. Rin grinned.

“Rin!” Sango yelled covering her nose.

“Oops.” Rin immediately stopped the flow. “I forgot. It doesn’t hurt me, and it does everyone else.”

“I got it.” Kagome raised a hand behind her back and removed an arrow. She infused it with her holy energy and waved it in the green mist. Dokkasu dissipated.

“Finished,” Sango told Rin.

“I’m going to go change.” Rin stood up. “Kagome you should go talk to Koga. Sota’s female, well his companion apparently wants things to become official, and it involves a wedding and some other things I don’t really know about.” She walked towards the only tent that lined the trees.

Kagome caught up to her and squeezed her hand. “You’ll do fine. You’ve been training for years, you can handle it. My son wants to get married?”

“Don’t ask me,” Rin sighed. “They definitely enjoyed, making out? That is what you called it right?”

“Did they just make out? They didn’t, you know?” Kagome held her hand.

“Last I heard, no,” Rin started laughing. “He’s the age I was when Sesshomaru and I made love the first time. Besides it’s not like you and Inuyasha never made out before did you?”

Kagome blushed. “We kissed and then I disappeared for three years. I didn’t really get to make out and it’s not encouraged between fifteen and eighteen. I didn’t date anyone during that time, there was this boy named, Hojo-kun but I wasn’t ready to move on and then the Well started working again and I came back here. Kaede-sama insisted on a marriage, you remember that right?”

“I remember.” Rin continued towards the green tent. “Sesshomaru said you weren’t a virgin when you got married.”

“Damn him and that sense of smell. The only reason we invited him was because I wanted to. We found the nearest place for privacy the night I came back through the Well. Sota was conceived then. It’s a good thing that his yoki made him come early or Kaede-sama would have known what Inuyasha and I did.”

Rin and Kagome both broke out in laughter. “Sesshomaru never would have agreed to a wedding,” she remembered it well. He was very proud of their bond to one another.

“I don’t think you two needed it. My family did. We had two weddings, one in the Feudal Era to make Kaede-sama happy and another one in my time to make my mother and grand-father happy.” Kagome pat Rin’s shoulder. “I’ll be cheering you on.”

“Thanks.” Rin walked into the tent. She took off her short kimono and was in her undergarments when the flap to the tent opened. She yipped and tried to cover herself. Clawed hands wrapped around her front and pulled her against warmed armor. She felt fangs prick the skin on her neck. “You scared me.”

“You’re beautiful.” He turned her around, and moved her hands. “Let me see you.”

Rin breathed heavily. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Let me see,” he repeated himself. “You haven’t worn your hair like that in years,” he held her braid. He leaned his head down and kissed her mouth. He tugged on her waist in one hand and held her tightly. “Where are these clothes this Sesshomaru won’t approve of?”

Rin held them up.

“This looks like underwear,” he smelled the cloth and handed them to her.

“I’ll be able to move easier,” she reminded him. She pulled the shorts on. They rode low on her hips and put the sports bra on over her breasts.

Sesshomaru tugged on the fabric with his finger to bring her closer to him. He inhaled her neck. “It begins soon.” He picked up her sword. “Waist or shoulder?”

“Shoulder,” she answered, moving her hair out of the way.

He nodded, and untied his own obi. He set his swords down next to his feet. He tied her katana in the yellow obi, then tied it over her shoulder. It was long enough for him to crisscross it in an X over her chest. He removed her old knife from his pocket and looped it at her hip. “You’re ready.”

“This looks like the one you gave me all those years ago.” She turned around to face him.

He nodded. “I had another made. The other one is old.” He kissed her again. “Come,” he held out his hand. She followed him.

* * *

Rin walked towards the border. An area of trees was cleared leaving a field of dirt. One the other side hordes of ogres armed with long swords and bats, staffs and swords stood at the ready. They came in all colors, green, blue and red. Some had two eyes, others had three. Rin breathed. Sesshomaru’s hand tightened. He stopped just behind the wolves and pulled Rin back to him, lowering his forehead to hers. “My strength is your strength.” His yoki flashed into her awareness, giving her confidence and strength. “You can do this.”

On his side of the border, the area was filled with fox demons, wolf-demons and wolves and a few Inu-Yokai that were loyal to Sesshomaru. Akari came running over to Rin, her hands practically sparking. She grabbed Rin in a hug. Rin returned it. “Rin-sama! Please say you’re coming back!”

“Yes, in a week,” Rin smiled at Akari. “Has it been so terrible without me there?”

Akari glanced at Sesshomaru’s stone face then back at Rin. “We need to have one of those midnight conversations over a hot pot of tea,” Akari answered. “Kill the bastard.”

Rin laughed. The sea of people began to part as Sesshomaru led Rin forward. “There will be a small ceremony in the beginning. Hinatamaru, Koga, and myself, must all swear to not interfere and to not allow interference from anyone else. The oath is binding, I will not be able to help you.”

“You wouldn’t be much help right now anyway,” Rin muttered.

“Quiet. There are too many ears here,” Sesshomaru said just as softly.

“Is that why you invited Inuyasha?” Rin asked him.

“Yes.” He stopped in front of the clearing. It was lined by high trees with green branches. The grass below was soft against Rin’s feet. Rin rubbed her stomach where the scar splayed across her waist. “Does your stomach hurt?”

“No,” Rin answered.

The ground shook beneath their feet. The earth rumbled as the Ogre King came from behind a line of his own. He lumbered forward, with his golden scepter in hand. Rin’s eyes widened. “Sesshomaru,” she squeezed his hand in fear. “He’s covering every sensitive area with armor!” she whispered, loud enough that the foxes and the wolves heard. Their eyes turned to her. His legs, arms, neck and stomach were covered in a thick armor that looked like it was made from the bones of other yokai.

He stomped forward until he was in front of his followers. He stood between Sesshomaru, the wolves and the fox demons. Rin focused on her breathing. She forced herself to calm. “Calm your heart,” Sesshomaru instructed her, “it’s pounding in my ears.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Sesshomaru turned and placed his right hand over Rin’s heart. He focused his yoki inside of her, sending her calm and comfort. Her heart slowly stopped beating so quickly. She breathed easier. “You will have to use Dokkasu,” Sesshomaru told her. He held her hand. “It’s corrosive. It’s time, stay here until I call you.”

Rin nodded.

“Hinatamaru, Koga, Inuyasha, come with me.” He led the delegation forward. He walked slowly and deliberately towards the center where the battle would be held. His face remained stoic, unexpressive. Inside his teeth ground, and anger flared. This was not what he had agreed to.

“Dog Lord!” the Ogre King yelled. “You will hand your _she_ over to me. You will swear to not interfere! Your delegation will swear to not interfere!” His words came out slowly and dumbly. He was easily the size of one and a half ogres. He had three eyes on his face, and his muscles were more defined.

* * *

From behind the line, Miroku watched the giant Ogre. His mouth was drawn into a harsh line. Something, he could sense it through all the auras he felt around him didn’t feel right. He strode to Kagome with his staff in hand. “Do you sense it, Kagome-sama?”

Kagome closed her eyes. There were so many auras clouding the area, but there was something there, something that didn’t feel like it belonged. It was dark and ominous but she couldn’t place her finger on what it was or where it was coming from. “I sense something. That scepter of his is powerful. The same yoki that flows through it, flows through the other ogres.”

“I wonder if the stories are true.” Sango stood next to them. “It’s said the Ogre King births them from the soil of the ground with the power from his scepter. If you break it, he won’t be able to send any more. He’s covered all the weak areas.” Sango adjusted her Hiraikotsu on her back.

“She’s trained against Sesshomaru for years. She will be fine,” Kagome said confidently, “do your best Rin.”

* * *

Rin paced back and forth while Sesshomaru, Hinatamaru-sama and Koga swore by their honor as yokai and their lands to not interfere. She clenched and unclenched her hands. She formulated a plan inside her head. The first thing she would need to do is melt the armor off, so she could attack his weak points. His head was higher, which would require a longer whip than she had ever called on before. _If only I could fly. I should have taken Kirara, but I’ve never trained flying before…_ she continued pacing.

“Rin!” Sesshomaru called her. She jolted at the sound of his voice.

She swallowed her last bundle of nerves and walked forward. She drew her katana from her shoulder. There were whistles and high pitched yips as she walked forward. Some were a result of how she was dressed, the others sounds of encouragement.

Sesshomaru squeezed her hand. “It begins,” he stalked towards the line of demons. “The ogres on his side will ensure neither one of you leaves the ring. The fight is to the death. We have sworn to not interfere!” his voice boomed. “Come home to me,” he said in her ear.

She nodded.

“Pathetic human girl!” In a flash the Ogre King was in front of Rin. His scepter came flying at her head. She rolled out of the way. His other hand slammed into the ground in front of her sending her flying. The scepter came down on the other side. She could barely keep up with his moves. She ran to the left dodging his blows, the right, the right again then slid between his legs. She cussed when his scepter nearly ran into her again.

_How is he so fast? Ogres are supposed to be slow!_ Rin struggled to keep up with his movements. She tried retreating to regain her footing, he followed swiftly. She blocked the next blow with her katana. She called forth the longest whip she had ever done before. Her fingers sizzled with the power of the yoki from the sword. It caught on the back shield shaped, bone colored, armor. She flew into the air, gripping the sword. She flipped it over in her hand, gripping the dog shaped hilt as the Ogre King lumbered reaching on his back for her. He jabbed the scepter towards her. She dodged, feigning to the left, then leapt to the circular collar that protected his neck. The moment she landed, she had to release it. The scepter lit a bright white, the light came flying at her.

“Look out!” Shippo called.

“No interference!” The Ogre King yelled.

The lightning nearly hit Rin. She leapt off his back and rolled out of the way of his feet.

“I didn’t swear to not interfere! Left, right, right, left!” Shippo called with his hands cupped over his mouth.

“Hinatamaru!” Sesshomaru called the head of the Fox Demons.

“He’s an orphan,” Hinatamaru smiled mischievously, “neither his father, nor he have ever sworn fealty to me. I have no control over his actions.” The jolly fat yokai bounced over to Sesshomaru and muttered, “she needs help.”

* * *

“There!” Miroku pointed to Kagome. “Do you see it?” Underneath the triangular breastplate that covered the Ogre King’s stomach and sternum, he finally found what had been setting off his senses. It was pressed against the Ogre King’s skin, the yoki from the golden chain around his neck, seamlessly moved into the Ogre’s skin.

“I see it!” Kagome ran to the front, pushing through the throngs of people watching. She shoved several wolf pups out of the way, and then pushed her way through the fox demons, “Sesshomaru!” she called, still trying to make her way through. “Onisama!!!” she called, at the top of her lungs.

* * *

Sesshomaru heard his name but he ignored it. His heart was racing. Rin was barely keeping up with the Ogre King. He wasn’t giving her a chance to send anymore whips at him. Shippo continued screaming directions at Rin, to the chagrin of the Ogre King. Hinatamaru was right, Shippo was an orphan who belonged to no one, yet to everyone at the same time. Rin followed his calls, blocking blows and swinging her katana at his scepter. Sesshomaru could feel her fear rising. She was getting tired. The muscles in her stomach were twinging. They weren’t injured per se, but still sensitive. He needed to hit something. He started pacing.  _ Dokkasu Rin! _

“Onisama!” He heard it again. The annoying name he wanted to rip from Kagome’s throat. He turned to see her pressing her way through the last bundle of onlookers. She ran to him with an arrow in hand. “He’s wearing a Talisman under the chest plate.” She pointed up. “There! It’s around his neck. It’s what’s giving him the speed and agility.”

Sesshomaru cursed under his breath. “Filthy cheat,” he gripped Bakusaiga, yearning to draw it and end the battle now.

“Can’t we call it off?” Kagome asked desperately. “She can’t keep up with him.”

“No,” Sesshomaru wanted to scream. A bubble was forming in his throat. “It would mean the end to my lands.”

“Are your lands worth more than her life?” Kagome nocked an arrow.

Sesshomaru pushed it down. “You would dishonor her, and this Sesshomaru by interfering. Believe in her. She can do it.”

“Stupid human!” The Ogre King yelled at Rin. He nearly had her in his grasp. His hands were about to fall on top of her. In moments her life would be over. Rin stared up in disbelief. Her foot twisted. She landed on her stomach. She lost the sword.  _ Come to me, now!  _ It flew to her hand, she turned to face the claws coming at her body.

* * *

Natsuki paced back and forth in the throne room of Gobodo-sama’s floating castle. Her hands were clenched together. Her paces quickened. Sesshomaru’s emotions were agitated, grating on her nerves. He was angry and nervous, frightened and so many emotions she could hardly keep track of them. Her feet beat against the marble. The slapped down clicking and clacking as she paced around the room, wringing her hands. The two babies were with Yuki and Gobodo-sama, who sat in her high backed chair. They spoke quietly about how the two boys looked similar and dissimilar all at once.

“Stop it, girl! You’re making me sick,” Jaken yelled at her. He held his staff in his hands twirling it nervously.

“Something is wrong,” Natsuki said to herself. “He’s no longer confident. Something is wrong.”

“Ignore it,” Gobodo-sama told her. “You must learn not to let his emotions become your own.”

“Ignore it you say,” Natsuki ignored her. “Ignore it,” she repeated herself, continuing her laps around the room.  _ He’s practically screaming in my ears.  _ “Why did we ever agree to this?”

“Because the Ogre King challenged the mate of the Dog Lord,” Gobodo-sama answered dismissively. “It was within their prerogative. It would have caused dishonor to my son and his mate to deny it. When she wins, his lands will finally be secure and stable for what we hope will be many years.”

“Ka-san can do it!” Harutoga said confidently.

Yuki didn’t seem as sure, she rocked her baby brother in her arms.

“Mate?” Natsuki stopped. “You imp,” she flared at Jaken. “Where is the summons?”

Jaken removed the scroll from the inside of his brown robe. Natsuki snatched it from him. She read through it quickly. Then a mischievous smile crossed her lips when she got to the end. “Gobodo-sama, if they get hungry, bring them down to the battle area.” She flew out of the castle into the air.

Gobodo-sama barked at Hisato, “follow her!”

He bowed low, fled towards the stairs and jumped into the air. He disappeared into a ball of white light chasing after Natsuki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to comment and kudo! Let me know how isolation is treating you! Any ideas how to keep kids entertained?


	25. The End before the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin fights the ogre king but old wounds die hard.
> 
> OMG DID ANYONE ELSE KNOW THEY ARE MAKING A SEQUEL!! Sesshomaru had twin girls with an unnamed human at this point. All of Sess/Rin lovers are hoping it's Rin but I am so excited! It's set to air hopefully in the Fall 2020. So anyone else fangirling like I am???
> 
> One more chapter after this and I may get it up sooner than expected.

Rin took out her knife, just as the hand was coming down on her she threw it into the palm of the Ogre King’s hand causing an uproar from the members on her side. They cheered her prowess and strength. It hit its mark, causing no more trouble than a splintering feeling in the Ogre King’s greedy hands. It gave her enough time to get up and start moving again. Without Shippo calling out directions she would be done for. She dodged his hands, she leapt out of the way of the white energy blasts, but no matter how she tried, she couldn’t get up on his shoulders again. He was too fast.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw something white and silver flash towards the Ogre King. It aimed for the scepter as it nearly slammed down on Rin’s head. White slender clawed hands caught the scepter, catching the shockwaves. A high pitched vicious snarl left Natsuki’s lips. Rin stared at her in disbelief. Natsuki threw the scepter to the side. Her hands misted green. She flew towards the breast plate. Even the demoness could sense whatever it was beneath it. She slammed both her hands into the bone armor, melting the plating. She reached into the cavity between the armor and the Ogre King’s skin and ripped off the Talisman with a triumphant smile. She landed gracefully in a sea green kimono next to Rin.

“Oath betrayer!” The Ogre King fumed at them. “Sesshomaru, you swore no interference!”

“Natsuki,” he stormed towards her.

She held up her hand. “It is you that is the betrayer, using magics to avoid facing the wrath of this human. As for my interference, as you termed it. Did you not challenge the mate of the Dog Lord Sesshomaru?” She cocked her head to the side. “I hold the summons here in my hand, as the mate of Sesshomaru you will face me.”

Rin balked. “Natsuki, you don’t have to,” she panted. She doubled over catching her breath.

“You misunderstand me Rin. He challenged the mate of the Dog Lord Sesshomaru.” Natsuki’s grin made her fangs seem longer and sharper. “He will face both of us.”

Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks, several feet from Natsuki. She nodded to Sesshomaru and motioned him to leave the arena. The Ogres were up in arms yelling and screaming. 

Rin started laughing, “both of us?” She glanced at Natsuki.

“And without this, what will he do?” Natsuki regarded Rin’s clothing. “You are barely dressed.”

“It’s easier to move. Not all of us pure blooded Inu- yokai with poison dripping from our claws.” Her mouth fell open. “You’re related to him.”

“Our great-grandfathers were brothers,” she said proudly. “Now, Kyojin Ogre King, you will face the mates of Sesshomaru. Prepare yourself, we will show you no mercy.”

Rin flipped her katan point down. “I need to get more of the plating off. Can you help me get up there?”

“Easily,” Natsuki replied haughtily.

“This is unorthodox,” Kyojin yelled.

Sesshomaru glared at him and let his voice blare, “Kyojin, Ogre King! You challenged the mate of this Sesshomaru. You never specified which one. Therefore, if all are in agreement, he shall face both.”

“I agree,” Inuyasha raised his hand. He sat next to his brother, “that was genius.”

“I agree,” Hinatamaru spoke just as quickly. “Not a moment too late, eh Sesshomaru-sama? Your women are powerful. Remind me to introduce you to my third wife.”

Sesshomaru’s brows knit together. “Three?”  _ I can barely manage one… _

“Three,” Hinatamaru chuckled. “All youkai. I’m surprised your human is being so accepting.”

_ She’s doing her best. _

“I agree,” Koga joined them. “He’s finished now. That’s just what Rin needed.”

“No matter, I will bereft you of both of them!” His movements were drastically slowed. He aimed for Natsuki first, attempting to grab her.

Natsuki grabbed Rin around the waist. She dodged the blows flying into the air. She dropped Rin on Kyojin’s shoulders. Rin landed with a thud. She grabbed the chains binding the neck collar with one hand while Natsuki warded off blows from the scepter. She flew at the Ogre King, aiming for the rest of the breast plate.

“Come on Rin!” Kagome cheered her.

“Get the collar off and take his head!” Sango shouted.

Rin struggled to maintain her grasp. Natsuki was moving so quickly the Ogre King kept swaying and with each movement, she was left holding on with one hand. She gazed at her sword, closed her eyes and felt his yoki.  _ My strength is your strength,  _ she could hear him in her head,  _ use my strength.  _ She felt the warmth of the yoki in the sword, she drew it from the fang, down into the hilt, through the body of the dog then forced it out the mouth. It sprayed a heavy fog of green mist onto the back of the neck collar, corroding it’s integrity. It melted whatever it came in contact with to mushy goo. Kyojin cried in pain when it made contact with his skin. His hand flew back at Rin unnoticed. It slapped her in the face. She went flying for the ground. She was caught by a medium sized white dog. The dog landed on the ground with Rin holding onto the back. The she-dog snarled. The dog’s eyes were red and angry, her white hair blew in the wind.

“Natsuki,” Rin adjusted herself to straddle the back of the dog, “get me to his neck!”

Natsuki barked in reply and bounded off the ground. Rin kept low in the fur. She let Natsuki do the work of dodging a hand grabbing at her right, to her left. A foot came flying at both of them. Natsuki barely dodged it. “Higher Natsuki, get me to the neck!”

The scepter came at them again. “Oh shit,!” The white light was blinding, cracking them. Natsuki flung Rin off her back and landed on top of Rin, blocking the blow. It singed her fur, she howled in pain.

Sesshomaru’s heart tightened. He felt Natsuki’s pain as the burns hit her skin. It was almost like his own skin was crackling.  _ It’s just yoki, _ he told her.  _ It’s just yoki. Imagine yours is stronger, focus Natsuki!  _ He knew she could hear him.

Natsuki heard his voice. She closed her eyes, ignored the pain and told her wounds to close. Her eyes sparked. Her mouth widened. Her fangs became longer.  _ I’m more powerful than he is!  _ she told herself. The white light was nothing but rain, it was snow falling on her back. It ceased causing her pain. Her dog form laughed, it came out like a series of hisses. Rin came out from beneath her. 

“Get me to his head!” Rin yelled. She climbed onto Natsuki’s back again.

Natsuki leapt in the air. She went straight for the scepter.  _ I am stronger than him, I’m Dai Yokai!  _ She grabbed it in her mouth and clamped down. Her fangs severed the staff in half. In the same moment Rin leapt from her back, she aimed her katana at Kyojin’s throat. She called the whip sending the largest, strongest energy force she had ever called. It wrapped around the Ogre King’s neck. She pulled back yelling triumphantly as she did. The light ripped into the Ogre King’s skin, until blood poured from the cut. It removed his head sending it flying towards his followers. At the last second the Ogre King’s body raised an arm slapping Rin in the stomach sending her flying. She landed in a heap at the Ogre King’s feet as his body fell.

Sesshomaru ran for Rin, she wasn’t getting up, the Ogre King’s body was nearly on top of her. His feet wouldn’t move fast enough. He didn’t have enough energy to turn into a white light. “Rin move!” he called to her.

Another flash jumped between the collapsed body and came out on the other side. Sesshomaru jumped over the fallen Ogre King in time to see Shippo holding Rin in his hands. “I had to save her Sesshomaru-sama! I had to!”

Sesshomaru let the sides of his lips twitch for a moment, almost smiling. “You did well,” he told the Fox child. Natsuki was still in pain. Sesshomaru picked up Rin’s limp form. She still gripped her katana in her hand. He pressed his forehead against hers and breathed a sigh of relief. “You did it, my heart,” he whispered in her ear.

He walked around the fallen body to find Natsuki’s mouth still clamped down on the golden scepter. Blood poured from the sides of her cheeks. Sesshomaru knelt down, with Rin still in his arms and set his hand on Natsuki’s cheek. He rubbed it lightly. “Tell it to heal. It feels worse than it is.”

Natsuki whined softly to him.

_ You fought well.  _ He pressed his yoki into her, comforting her.  _ I can’t heal you.  _ He knew he lacked the strength and Rin would need it more.  _ Heal yourself, focus your yoki on the injuries. _

She whimpered again, closed her eyes and forced her body to recover. Her injuries closed, her mouth ceased bleeding. She pushed the scepter out of her mouth with her paws. 

Behind them they heard roars of anger.

“Oi!” Koga called, “you knew the rules. We won! You back off!” He motioned his wolves closer.

“Get a life wolf!” Inuyasha stepped forward, Tetsusaiga in hand. “Leave the border now or I will end your lives!”

Sesshomaru set Rin down. He stood up, removing Bakusaiga from its sheath. “You know the power of this Sesshomaru and his mates. Leave my lands, honor the agreement your King made!”

The Ogres looked one to the other, the growls and the howls faded. They lowered their heads and retreated.

Hisato landed next to Sesshomaru and touched Rin’s forehead. “Is she okay?”

“She’s injured,” Sesshomaru said absentmindedly.

Natsuki finally shifted. She wiped the blood from her white skin. “That was fun,” she smiled and knelt down and touched Rin’s head. “Her back is bruised.”

Kagome came forward. “How can you tell? She’s on her back?”

“My yoki is inside of her.” Natsuki pushed her silver hair out of her face, she set golden eyes on Kagome. “You’re a strong one. Sesshomaru, do not kill me.” She didn’t wait for his response. She cupped Rin’s face in her hands, she set her forehead against Rin’s and accessed the bond in Rin’s heart. She redirected the flow into the wounds that Rin sustained. She pulled Rin forward, glad that she was able to remove the bruises from the human’s back.

Sesshomaru felt the invasion, strangely it did not incite his rage. It felt like a familiar interruption to their bond.

Natsuki collapsed exhausted next to Rin. “I think I should rest.”

“Can you fly?” Sesshomaru asked her.

She nodded.

“Return to my mother’s home.” He gathered Rin in his arms. “Koga!”

Natsuki pulled herself off the ground. She turned into a white sphere and disappeared.

Koga approached Sesshomaru.

“Return to your lands, the south is stable.”

“If you approve, Inu-kuro, I would like to leave a contingent here. Sota and his bride will take over guarding the southern border with the families of Ginta and Hakkaku,” Koga pointed to Sota who held the hand of the female demoness.

“Agreed,” he said. “Inuyasha,” he called his brother as the masses dispersed.

Inuyasha cautiously approached Sesshomaru. “I feel like I should apologize.”

“You were defending her. I once told you I would kill you if you allowed harm to come to her. I am grateful,” he said begrudgingly, “for your assistance.”

“Thanks, Ni-san.” Inuyasha nervously brushed a hand through his hair. “You’re really going to keep two of them?”

“I have no choice,” Sesshomaru answered blandly. “I do not love Natsuki, and I will sever the head of the one who causes her arm. This is the one I love.” He held Rin tighter.

“Crazy bastard,” Inuyasha rolled his eyes and walked away.

“Akari! Atsuko!” Sesshomaru called the hanyou fire cat and Rin’s human servant.

“Yes, Sesshomaru-sama?” They came running.

“We will return in a week, see that Rin’s belongings from the ocean home are properly returned to our home. Prepare the children’s rooms.”

“And a celebration, Sesshomaru-sama?” Atsuko bowed low. “For their homecoming?”

He gave it some thought, “a celebration. And a wedding.” He motioned with his head over to Sota and his female.

“The wedding should be in the mountains,” Koga argued.

“It will be at my home,” Sesshomaru dismissed him.

“She is pure blooded that should take precedence.”

“These are my lands,” Sesshomaru argued back. “He is my nephew. It will take place at the home of this Sesshomaru.”

“Why not in our village, he’s my son!” Kagome argued.

“Your village is part of this Sesshomaru’s lands. It will take place at my home.”

“Don’t we get a say?” Sota asked.

“No!” Koga, Sesshomaru and Kagome answered in unison.

“I should just purify you,” Kagome fumed. “And who says _ this Sesshomaru _ , sheesh, just say I and me, like a normal person.”

“This Sesshomaru is not a person.”

Rin stirred in his arms and rubbed her head. “If you’re done bickering, I would like to rest. Sesshomaru take this Rin back to your mother’s castle.”

“So where are we making the wedding?” Atsuko asked.

“In my village,” Kagome demanded.

“In the mountains!” Koga roared.

“At my home,” Sesshomaru hissed at them, “or I will not give my consent.”

“Who needs your consent? He’s my son.” Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

“These are my lands,” Sesshomaru reminded him, “and he is under my tutelage.”

“Your tutelage? What did you teach him already?” Inuyasha grumped. “Nothing I couldn’t have.”

Sesshomaru turned on Inuyasha. “As the eldest son of Chichiue it is within my right to approve or disapprove. He is my pupil and these are my lands.”

“Oh fine,” Kagome through her arms up, “you could just say because he is your nephew and you love him.”

“Don’t push it,” Rin laughed, “and you, take me home, or back to your mother’s castle. I’m tired and hungry, and I smell.”

Sesshomaru didn’t wait for the arguments to resume. He flew into the air gripping Rin tightly. “You did it,” he nuzzled her neck.

“I know. I had a little help.”

“He was cheating.”

“I know. I want a hot bath when we get back.”

“I will bathe you.” he kissed her lips while they flew into the sky.

“You could do more than bathe me.” She played with his earlobe.

“I will make you cry my name.” Sesshomaru nudged her with his nose.

“I’ll make you say mine first.”

“A challenge?”

“Yes, and I plan to win this one as well, ah! Sesshomaru don’t tickle me while we’re flying!”

“I already won. Rin, we’re flying.” He pulled her hand out of his hikama.

“Now who won,” she giggled in his arms. “You are mine,” she held his neck.

He arched his eyebrows, “it is the other way around.”

“No it’s not,” she kissed his lips, “I don’t have to share you. You are mine.”

“Forever,” he returned the kiss as they flew.

* * *

They had been home for a week. It took the entire seven days for Rin to unpack the children’s belongings and return them to the chests in their room. Then the same with her own things. Akari and Atsuko worked overtime helping her resettle into her room with Sesshomaru. At night he held her close, made love to her, and slept with Rin in his arms. His injuries had healed completely before she faced the Ogre King but his yoki was still building. He knew he needed at least one more week home recovering, before he patrolled his borders. So far they were holding. The ogres held true to their word, for once and did not challenge his lines again. Yuki and Harutoga settled happily into their rooms and spent their days playing with their friends in the village.

Rin spent her days taking care of Taiyomaru and preparing the home for Sota’s upcoming wedding. It was to happen in a month in Sesshomaru’s home. Sota and Taisho took up their positions with Sesshomaru’s again guarding the home by day and training with Sesshomaru in the afternoons. Even weakened, the two young men couldn’t best their uncle. Rin watched with Taiyomaru in her lap and giggled every time Taisho was pushed to his limits. Several times he lost control of his holy energy, which by itself wasn’t strong enough to do much to Sesshomaru. Life seemed to be continuing on as it did before. Rin did her own training throughout the day against Hisato, and several times a week against Sesshomaru.

It was late in the night, when a flash of the lightning lit the sky and thunder blasted through the air that Rin woke with her heart racing. Her body shot upright. She gripped the silver sheet beneath her, holding her heart in one hand as if the motion would calm the storm she felt inside. For a moment, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Taiyomaru was not in bed next to her, neither was Sesshomaru. She lifted the cobalt blue blanket off herself and rolled off her giant futon and looked down at herself. She had completely forgotten that she was still completely naked. The evening was chilled for spring. She ran to her chest, pulled out an inner layer, quickly put it on then, pulled out one of her plain blue kimonos with a white obi. She tied it sloppily, brushed her hair out, put it into a loose ponytail and walked into the hallway.

Hisato leaned lazily against the wall, his arms crossed as usual. He still looked youthful despite his five hundred years. Akari sat on the floor, tossing one fireball in her hand to the other half dozing off. “Where is he?” Rin asked them.

“In a meeting,” Hisato answered without opening his eyes.

“At this hour? With whom?” Rin started the long walk towards his study. “He is in the study isn’t he?”

“That he is,” Hisato acknowledged her. “Koga-sama, Kensaku-sama from the West, Ichiro for the East, Hinatamaru-sama, Sota, Sayako and Nobutada-sama, a representative from the village near where you stayed that will negotiate peace between the ogres and Sesshomaru-sama.” Hisato caught Rin by the elbow. “Are you okay, Rin-sama?”

“What have I told you about using your nose? It’s rude. If I wanted you to know what I was thinking I would tell you!” She pulled her arm loose from his grasp. “Dammit, you cut my elbow.” She put pressure on the wound. It was a small scratch from ripping her arm away without giving him the time to move his claws. Rin stopped, “just get me something to write with,” she fumed at Hisato.

He walked ahead of her and came back in a minute with a quill, a jar of ink and a piece of yellow parchment. “You better not read this.” She wrote down a quick message, knowing how much Sesshomaru hated being disturbed when he was in meetings. She handed the message to Hisato upside down, so he couldn’t see the drying letters on the page. “Give this to him. I’m going back to my room.” Rin stormed back to her room.

Sato came up from behind Hisato. He flipped his black ponytail over his shoulders with a cocky grin on his lips. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Ignore whatever you hear.” Hisato flipped the paper over.

“I thought she told you not to read that?” Sato tried to turn it back over, smearing the ink.

Hisato answered with a laugh as he knocked on the door to the study. “Get ready for fireworks,” he whispered to the other sentinel, “this is going to make him angry.” He smacked his thumb against the piece of paper.

Jaken answered the door with a sour look on his face. “What do you want?” he hissed at the black haired sentinel.

“Give this to Sesshomaru-sama. It’s from Rin.” Hisato handed it ink side up so Jaken would see it.

“Oh dear,” Jaken trembled. “Do you want to deliver it?”

“No.” Hisato gave Jaken a push with the heel of his shoe. “Why don’t you deliver it,” he shoved Jaken back into the room. “You haven’t been in the house that often, now that you are, this is one of the most important lessons you will ever learn. Discretion and ignoring. Do not listen to anything they say.”

“Are they about to get into a fight?” Akari juggled fireballs as she walked up the hall. Her red hair poofed out in curls around her pointed ears as the balls danced from claw to claw. “I missed this. They have the best fights.” She put the fireballs out when the door flew open.

All three backed against the far wall. “We have the best fights?” Sesshomaru growled at Akari, “perhaps I should replace you.”

“No…no…that won’t be necessary, I’ll uh…go find some dishes to wash, or some food to make, um…I’m going to the kitchens if she needs me.” Akari ran on the balls of her heels down the hall.

Sesshomaru’s glare turned to Sato and Hisato leaning against the wall. They immediately walked towards the public dining hall. Sesshomaru grabbed Hisato by the arm. “What is wrong with her?”

“She smelled…I’m not sure. Agitated? I believe she had a nightmare,” Hisato answered quickly. “She wouldn’t speak with me.”

Sesshomaru ground his teeth. Taiyomaru slept in his mokomoko. _And yet she disturbs me, without disturbing me. She should be sleeping._ He had yet to tell Rin that although their bond had been restored, it wasn’t as it was before. Ten years of his yoki flowing into her body couldn’t be replaced overnight. He struggled to sense her moods or if she was injured. It still felt like he was pushing through a sieve to get his yoki to heal her. Then there was also the honeymoon phase they had experienced freely the first time, where they could spend all the time they wanted alone. He still craved that time with her, but their lives now had not lent them the time and he struggled with his own feelings of being apart from her. He fully planned to leave in another week, hoping his instincts to be near her, tend her and share his body with her would have been satiated enough to allow him to leave her to inspect their borders.

He knocked on their door. “Rin?” He opened the door.

He found her rummaging around in one of her trunks pulling out a warmer kimono. She removed her outer layer and pulled on the woolen one. She moved to another chest that had her tabi and boots. “What are you doing?”

“I…” she stopped in her tracks, “um…I can’t do this.”

He held up her note. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“I’m going. I said I would come back in a few days.” She dug in her trunk looking for her boots.

“It takes an entire day flying.” He came closer to her.

“Then maybe it will be more than a few days. Give me Taiyomaru. He can’t stay with you. He still needs to nurse.” Rin reached for her baby.

Sesshomaru removed her hand from the child. “Rin, you are testing my patience.”

“Like you didn’t test mine by taking someone else. Give me Taiyomaru. I said I would come back,” her voice was rising. Behind them it continued to rain. It started coming down in sheets.

Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed, his golden orbs darkened. “We agreed you would not bring that up.”

“It’s kind of hard not to.” She tried to reach for the baby again, only for her arms to be pushed down. “Sesshomaru,” she warned him.

“It’s raining, it’s the middle of the night.” He pulled her by the elbow into his chest. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to someone. I’m not comfortable with this.” She pushed on his chest. “Let me go.”

“No.” He held her firmly to him. “Not comfortable with what?”

“Her! Dammit!” Rin pushed against him. “Let me go! I hate it when you do this!”

“The last time I let you go when you were mad, you disappeared for two months without telling me where you went!” Sesshomaru bellowed at her.

“Because you went and bonded someone else and bedded them twice!” she shouted back at him.

Taiyomaru started crying from the raised voices. “You woke him up,” Sesshomaru growled at her, “keep your voice down.”

“Or what?” Rin folded her arms. “You’re letting me go. I said I would return. That should be good enough for you.”

“Good enough for what? Is this those human hormones the Miko talks about?”

“No it’s not you ass! It’s you…I don’t even know what to call you because you won’t let me call you my husband, having a mistress on the side and somehow I’m supposed to be comfortable with it!”

“She is not my mistress,” Sesshomaru flashed back at her. “And she will not be a part of our lives-”

“Until I die! So now you want me to die?”

Sesshomaru’s breath was coming out more furiously than it was before. “No! You are being irrational.”

“And you're being an arrogant jerk!” She turned her back on him. “I want to talk to someone else about this.”

“Shall I call Hisato in?” He attempted to control his voice.

“I want to talk to someone that isn’t a dog demon.” She pushed his hands off her shoulders.

“Can it wait until morning? I will accompany you.”

“I want to go alone,” Rin sighed. “I’m sorry…I’m not okay with this, I’m not. I don’t like that she is sitting around in the back of your head.”

Sesshomaru growled low, “take Hisato.”

“Dog demon…” she reminded him.

“All of our guards are.” Sesshomaru tried to take her shoulder again, only for her to pull out of his grasp.

“The only dog demon I want with me is our son,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, I need to do this.”

“Honesty Rin, we agreed. What aren’t you telling me?” He closed the space between them. He kept his hands at his sides for fear of pushing her further away. “Will you tell this Sesshomaru nothing?”

“I don’t like that she is still bound to you, or that you had sex with her again,” Rin said quietly.

“It was only to quiet her so we could live like this, without her interfering in our lives. Let me hold you,” he touched her shoulder timidly, “let me hold you.” He repeated himself.

Rin turned into his chest.

“Did it hurt you that badly to allow me that?”

Rin nodded against his chest. “I said yes because she was trying to make up for what she did. What if you are tempted again? I don’t want to share you.” She wrapped her arms around his chest. “Is that so awful?”

Sesshomaru smiled against her brow. “It’s too wet to take Taiyomaru now, and you are tired. Sleep. In the morning you may go. I will inform Akari. I believe she knows battle well enough to keep you safe.”

“Really?” Rin gazed up at Sesshomaru.

He tilted his neck and kissed her lips. “I will join you in a day.”

“You’re hovering,” she whispered. “It’s getting on my nerves.”

“I can’t sense you like before,” he said softly to her. “There isn’t enough of my yoki inside of you.” He traced her jaw line with his thumb. “I couldn’t sense this agitation you feel.”

“What happened to all that yoki you used to heal me?”

“It wasn’t all mine,” he whispered and kissed his nose. “It’s purpose was to heal you, not to nourish our bond. Ten years of my yoki going into your body cannot be replaced overnight. I know better how to wield what is there with our connection, but I still cannot sense you. I cannot comfort you.”

“You couldn’t find me by sense alone?” Rin asked him.

“No,” he shook his head. “Compromise with this Sesshomaru. I yearn to be near you, as when I first bonded you. Allow me this, and I will allow you to go to Bukoseno alone.”

“Okay,” Rin agreed softly.

“Get back in bed.” He loosened her obi and removed her outer layer. He set it back over her trunk then removed her inner layer. He smelled the curve of her neck. “You are erratic.”

“Maybe I am tired.” She let him pick up the teal yukata from the marble floor. He slid in one of her arms than the other.

“Then sleep my heart,” he whispered in her ear. “You need rest.” He tied her obi and led her to their bed.

“You aren’t sleeping as much,” she yawned as she set her head on the pillows.

He allowed himself a mild smile. “The healing is almost complete. It’s unnecessary.”

“Why are you meeting with everyone now?”

“If this Sesshomaru remembers, I promised my heart, a month home after our child was born. We had two weeks together, before we separated. I still owe you two more weeks. My days are for you and the children.” He kissed Rin while he sat on his knees. “Last week was one,” he kissed her even deeper, “this week, will be two.”

“And then?” Rin smiled sleepily.

“My time was taken up by the southern border in the past, now that the ogres have recognized their place, I believe I will be able to be home weeks at a time, and only gone perhaps a week. You and I will discuss a new schedule when it is not the middle of the night.” He let his lips fall on hers again. “In the morning, you will eat breakfast with this Sesshomaru and our children. Then you may leave. I will arrange for my mother to take Harutoga and Yuki for a few days, then join you.”

“Alone time?” Rin grinned.

“Alone time,” he nodded. He cupped the back of her head and ran his fingers through her hair. “Did you have another nightmare?”

She blushed.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Sesshomaru sat down next to Rin.

“No,” she sighed. “It’s not any different than the other ones I’ve been having. It was just worse because you weren’t here.” She touched the futon next to her. “That’s not entirely true,” she said almost silently. “I dreamt you went to her again. That you chose her over me.”

“Never.” He breathed in the scent of her hair. “Never. You are the one I wish to be with.”

“I know,” she said softly, “thank you. For understanding.”

“This Sesshomaru does not understand,” he said, “I must return.”

“Tell me next time? Please? You probably thought I wouldn’t wake up. So I know where you are?”

“Yes, go to sleep.” He stroked her cheek with his finger. “I can’t stay until you are asleep. I will return before you wake up.”

“He’s going to get hungry.” She touched Taiyomaru’s face.

“Look what grew.” He opened the infant's mouth slightly. Inside Taiyomaru’s mouth were four tiny fangs poking through his red gums.

“Fangs!?” Rin gasped. “He can eat real food now!”

“I gave him raw boar earlier, he loved it.” Sesshomaru smiled, the one that was reserved for Rin and no one else.

“That’s disgusting,” Rin sighed.

“It’s delicious,” he tickled her. He set his forehead against Rin’s. “My heart,” he shook his head, “I love you.” He touched his heart. He had felt panicked getting that letter. He hated how fragile their reunification felt. As if at any moment it would break. Despite their bond, he understood how fragile it really was.

“I love you too.” She curled into her pillows. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as he rose to leave the room.

* * *

Rin and Akari spent the next day riding Aun to Bukoseno’s forest. Rin remembered it from when she was a child. It was full of magnolia trees. It was impossible to navigate flying for all the branches and leaves that poked out. Aun landed in the clearing before. “Stay here and eat Aun. I’ll go in alone.”

“I’ll be here, yell if you need me.” Akari jumped off of Aun’s back rubbing her bottom with orange heated hands. “I’m getting too old for this,” she laughed.

“How old are you?” Rin asked her.

“Four hundred and twenty seven,” she smiled. Her red eyes lit up. “Two hundred years ago I was a guard in a castle in the east with the other fire cats. My husband was an important Lord, until our relationship and then he was driven from his lands.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Until you wanted to make this village, we had nowhere to go. Now, never leave again! You have no idea how miserable he was.”

“Miserable?” Rin wore Taiyomaru strapped to her back.

“I mean that everything was dirty to him, clean this, clean that. I smell this, I smell that, don’t clean that, it was like he was bored and that was when he was home, when he wasn’t, the house was so cold he refused to light any of the fires. It was almost funny watching the great Sesshomaru-sama pine like that.”

Rin giggled. “That sounds terrible. I’m going in. Stay here.”

She walked into the forest trying to retrace the steps she took when she was younger, “Bukoseno-sama!” she called into the forest. “Bukoseno-sama! It’s Rin!”

“Rin!” the voice boomed through the forest. “This way,” leaves shivered and branches reached out to her.

“There you are!” Rin called. She hiked her yellow kimono up to her knees. She supported Taiyomaru against her back with one hand while she ran through the tall grasses to the old Magnolia tree. “I couldn’t remember where you were.”

“Turn around. Let me see this little one.” The kind old face turned Rin with his branches. They touched Taiyomaru. “So important this child.” He tickled the baby under the chin with his leaves.

Taiyomaru laughed.

“I…” Rin choked, “I need to ask about Inu-yokai bonds.”

“You’re here about Natsuki?” The old tree said knowingly.

“How do you know about her?” Rin asked the tree.

“He is bound to two now. Who do you think told Gobodo-sama about her?”

“Great, so all this is your fault.” Rin sat down in front of the tree.

“Natsuki has been playing in my boughs since she was a little girl. I sensed the connection a hundred winters ago. Of course that was before he knew you and she was not yet at the age of maturity,” Bukoseno explained to Rin. “After he bonded you, Gobodo-sama came to me and asked me to help her find others.”

“I wish she wouldn’t have.” Rin picked at the grass by her toes. “I wish she would have just left well enough alone.”

“Are you jealous dear Rin?” the wrinkled face asked her.

“I must be. I keep thinking that at any moment she is going to call him back to her. Or they’re going to want to be together again, and I can’t live like that. I don’t want to share Sesshomaru. He’s mine,” she said firmly. “I shouldn’t have to share him.”

“According to human standards no. You do know how to break Inu-yokai bonds,” he said knowingly. “He came to me while you were missing, after it broke. He didn’t understand how the bond could be broken and how he could keep looking for you. He wanted to believe it was his children, but it was his great love for you that kept him searching. He does not love her.”

“Everyone keeps saying that. He still wanted to be with her again.” She set her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands.

“That need was primal Rin. Their bond was vastly disrupted by how it was cemented. Think about it, your bond was cemented in love. Do you know after a bond is formed dog demons need anywhere between two weeks to two months to spend that time with their soulmates? Part of it is the primal nature of it, but their bond was cemented in heartbreak. When he bound himself to Natsuki, it caused a rift between you and Sesshomaru. That rift broke his heart and damaged his bond to Natsuki. They never had those weeks to cement their bond. Even if they did, a bond birthed from pain, may never grow into love. It’s difficult to explain but think of it like this, they were drawn together that last time because their yoki kept getting entangled together to save your life. It’s addictive, but that is not love. His love for you is what always brings him back to you. He will not seek her out, and she has agreed to not seek him out. Their yokis will no longer entangle each other and in a way, this is better than breaking it. If you killed her, Tsukimaru would grow up without a mother, and Sesshomaru would experience a modicum of pain. You know the other way the bond is broken?”

“Heart ache,” she supplied, still picking at the grass.

“Would you want him to fall in love with her?” Bukoseno asked Rin.

“No, that would hurt worse than what happened. It was just blind stupid dog demon instinct before,” she sighed. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Does it make it easier to live with?” Bukoseno lifted her chin with his branches. “He will not seek her out. She will not call for him unless her life or Tsukimaru’s life is in danger. For the rest of your life, he is yours, my dear Rin. And what a changed demon he is for it, aren’t you Sesshomaru.”

“Dammit.” Rin glanced over her shoulder. “I told you I wanted to come alone.”

“He can’t help it.” Bukoseno smiled as Sesshomaru walked towards Rin. “For you the bond is as it always was. For him, it is new. He needs this time with you to cement what you once had. Let me play with this little one. You two go find somewhere private to be together.” His branches reached into the sling over Rin’s back and plucked out Taiyomaru.

Rin stood up and greeted Sesshomaru. She grasped his hand in hers. “I should be mad at you for not giving me space.”

He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers, not caring that Bukoseno was watching. He cupped her chin in his hand and slid the other around her waist. “I sent Akari home with Aun. Come, come with me.” He led Rin through the forest.

“Where are we going?” Rin asked him.

“You’ll see.” He led her quietly behind him hand in hand. He walked with her until they met a river. They followed it upstream for half a mile until they came to a small villa. It wasn’t very large. It was only one story, it was made from stone with intricately carved decorations. One of them was two dog demons, standing on their back legs, their mouths met in the center where the roof peaked, their front paws touched. “This was my family’s villa, centuries ago.” He brought Rin onto a stone pathway. He touched the two dogs that seemed like they were kissing. “New couples would spend weeks in this room, making love, cementing their bond.”

He pulled Rin into the brightly lit villa. There was a futon on the floor, covered with the colors of their home, a golden sheet with a blood red blanket. The air was cool, moss covered the outer stone. Inside a small fire was lit, with a kettle and a pot. Next to the fire there was cooked rice, meat and vegetables. Rin could smell mint, from her favorite tea leaves. “You sent Akari to prepare this didn’t you?”

“Come inside.” He pulled Rin into the small villa. He closed the door behind them. He lowered himself onto one knee in front of Rin. “Do you know how I love you?”

Rin grinned like she was a teenager all over again. “You aren’t wearing your armor,” she giggled.

“No,” he smiled back at her, “it’s in the corner.” He lowered his other knee. “In this time, human marriages are arranged.” He considered his words, “this Sesshomaru would not have allowed you to enter into a loveless marriage. Ten years ago,” he pulled Rin’s hand to his chest, sliding her fingers under the material of his light blue haori to rest on the scar over his chest, “I bound you to me, making us one soul. Two and a half weeks ago, you gave this back to me. You have made this Sesshomaru very happy. Spend a week with me in this villa. Let us cement our bond, as it once was.”

“Are you asking me to marry you again?” Rin knew how much he hated human terms.

He grabbed Rin around the waist and slit off her obi from the back, he pulled her knees out from underneath her. He controlled her fall as she laughed in his arms. He set her down on her back against the futon. He pulled open her layers and licked his lips. “How is it you get more beautiful the older you get?”

“And you never age. You look the same as the day I met you.” She ran two fingers over his cheek stripes. Her breathing quickened as one hand slid up her slender waist. “Are you asking me to marry you again?” she whispered.

“No, I am asking you to spend a week in seclusion with me.” He kissed the skin of her belly button. “I am asking you to spend the rest of your life with this Sesshomaru.” His lips breathed fire against her abdomen. He nipped at her ribs. “I am telling you, this Sesshomaru, is yours for the rest of your life.” He tugged lightly on one of her nipples.

Rin pulled his chin up to her face. “Who will care for Taiyomaru?” She accepted his mouth against hers. Her hands worked on his obi. “It's not fair, only you can cut my clothes.”

Sesshomaru pulled her katana from her side and handed it to her. He arched a playful eyebrow at her. She slit his obi from around his waist laughing. He shirked out of his Haori. “Bukoseno seems content with Taiyomaru. I will hear his cries from here. Mother took Yuki and Harutoga. My soulmate slew an Ogre-King so our borders are stable. Spend this week with me.” He pressed his body over hers. He cupped her left breast with his hand, he rolled her nipples in between his fingers. She arched her back into his touch. He licked the tip, flicking it with his tongue.

Rin closed her eyes in ecstasy. “Yes,” she whispered. She sat up, letting her layers fall to the wayside. Her knees opened letting him find his place between her legs. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” She tugged at the obi holding his pants on. He slid them off his hips. He pulled her legs down so she flopped on her back.

“Lay down,” he commanded her. “This time,” he pinned her arms against her sides, “this time, this Sesshomaru will care for you.”

“Let me touch you,” her voice was seductive. He released her hands. Her hands trailed down his waist, over the mounds of muscles in his stomach and wrapped around his member.

“Your scent spikes when you touch me.” He pushed his hips into her hands. “Does this please you? Touching this Sesshomaru?”

“Yes,” she panted into his mouth. Their lips met, wet, hot and pleading with each other. “Kiss me,” she whispered in his ears.

“Where?” The side of his mouth curved into a half smile. “Here?” He kissed the curve of her neck. “Or here?” He smiled into the kiss between her breasts. “Or perhaps, right here.” His fingers toyed with the skin just above her opening while his mouth opened and closed over the tip of her breast. She moaned as his tongue worked its way around her nipples. 

“There is good.” She ran her fingers through the sides of his hair. She thought of how lucky she was to be with him. How it was her that he had chosen despite what had happened between them and the things she said to him. “Oh!” 

His mouth covered her other breast eliciting more whines from her mouth. She arched into his mouth. “You,” her breaths came out quickly. “Aren’t going to let me--” Fingers covered her mouth.

“It is my turn. Shh, unless you are making that sound.” 

Her moans were intoxicating to him. They encouraged his expedition of her body. He was determined to kiss every inch of her stomach, starting from beneath her breasts, to her sides, the points of her ribs, each square shaped muscle on her abdomen. He ran his tongue over the wicked diamond shaped scar. “You risked your life for this Sesshomaru.”

“I love this Sesshomaru.” Rin pulled his face back up to hers. “So much it hurts.” She held his hand to her breast, over her heart.

“So much it stings,” he offered, pressing his lips to hers.

“So much I can’t breathe without you.” She licked the roof of his mouth and traced the contours of his lips with her tongue.

“Let me love you.” He continued his conquest of her body. He returned to her scar, tracing the tips and edges then flicking his tongue down the line over the middle of her stomach.

“Sesshomaru,” she sighed his name. His tongue was moving lower. She let her legs splay to the sides, knowing what he was about to do. He enjoyed this as much as she did. His tongue was lighting a fire in her belly, a fire below that felt like it would swallow her whole. Her entire body was boiling like honey. He kissed around her belly button, over one side then the other. He lifted her knees beneath his arms, holding her buttocks in his hands. He kissed from her knee down her thighs, licking her smooth skin on one leg, then repeated it on the other.

“Stop teasing me.” Rin rocked her hips towards his face. “Please?” she begged him. “It’s so hot.”

He nipped down the inside of her thigh, stopping just at the point where her leg ended and her lips began. He inhaled the scent of her arousal. “You taste like honey.” He opened her petals and licked her core. He sucked her bud into his mouth. “You taste like fresh rain and spring dew.” He slid his fingers inside of her. “Release for me, my heart.” He pushed against her insides. “You’re so wet for this Sesshomaru.”

“Sesshomaru,” she moaned. “Yes.” She rocked her hips against his hand. “Oh, please?”

He flicked his tongue up and down against her growing bud. He could feel it hardening. He suckled it, and pushed, flattening his tongue against it. It was coming, he could feel it. She was flinching and bucking her hips against him. He stopped, wiped his mouth and returned to her eyes. He memorized their shape and color in that moment. They were like ripe almonds, and deep brown. They were glazed in deep passion, begging for release. Her hand gripped his wrist.

“Why did you stop?” She could barely catch her breath.

“To see your eyes.” He pushed his fingers back inside and thumbed her slowly. “Release my heart.” He kissed her mouth. Her moans intensified, he felt her harden against his hand, then her walls pulsate, he stifled her moans in her mouth. He lifted himself on top of her, he nestled himself between her legs, softly pushing inside of her. “Rin,” he groaned in her ear. He opened their bond in that moment, flooding her body with his yoki. “Oh,” he grunted.

She wrapped her legs around his waist driving him in further with her heels. He pressed his lips into hers, they moaned and panted together as he thrusted within her. They whispered I love yous and each other’s names. He felt his yoki connect with their bond, his breath flew from his lungs feeling the depth of their connection, the truth of their love. He flushed warm fluid inside of her, then collapsed half to the side of her panting. His mouth rested next to her cheek. She turned her head and kissed his lips. “That was good.”

“Very good.” He moved the hair from her face. “I love you and only you,” he pulled himself out of Rin. She rolled to snuggle on top of his warm chest. “I choose you.”

“And I you,” Rin pulled his mouth to hers, “forever.”

“Forever,” he returned the kiss drinking in the taste of her mouth and the warmth of her breath.


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru reflects on his life and makes a choice that dictates his decisions in the past. He's given the chance to have one last goodbye with Rin.
> 
> Ya'll you need a box of tissues for this.
> 
> Just a few notes:  
> Thank you to everyone that said I should be writing Hanyo no Yashahime! I love you guys talk about major ego boost!  
> Second: There is an arc in the villa that will take place in SessxRin drabbles  
> Third: There is a sequel if you can't wait to read it until I post it, 37 chapters are up on FFN. I will try to start loading it on here but I've been really busy and my life is very hectic right now.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13423224/1/The-Disease-a-reincarnation-story-Vol5

**Modern Era**

Sesshomaru stood in front of a tall mirror. He wore plain brown slacks and a light blue button down shirt. His traditional clothing were hung in a closet off to the side. He continued buttoning the light blue shirt, covering up the white undershirt he wore beneath it. He gazed at his mokomoko, willing it’s disappearance. It was finally time to approach her. _The last piece of the puzzle_. In the days following his recovery and Rin’s defeat of the Ogre King, he had wondered how Kagome knew about what was going to happen. She came to him when Rin was four and a half months pregnant and warned him that his life was about to change, and whatever happened, was meant to happen. She said that two sons would be born to him, they had to be. She didn’t say what that change was, or that it would involve destroying his own home, his relationship with Rin and everything he had worked so hard to build. She adjured him that if anyone else came along and told him what was going to happen to ignore them. It had to happen, the future depended on it. That part never made sense.

He understood now. It was himself. His older self must have approached Kagome at some point knowing what would happen. He hadn’t spent the years idly. After Rin’s death, he returned to Natsuki finding a small measure of comfort in her arms. He never lived with her in the home he built for Rin. By the time his human passed away, his children were grown. It just didn’t feel right living with Natsuki in that home. They lived in his mother’s castle in the sky with the handful of remaining Inu-yokai and hanyous. 

“Where are you going Chichiue?” Taka, his youngest daughter asked him. She would come of age in another half century. It was now his turn to begin the search for a male for her. With so few of their kind left, he knew, she would be one of the last pure blooded demons on earth. She would most likely find a lover among humans, and not in the skies where the dwindling numbers of yokai remained hidden.

“Home, then to work.” Sesshomaru took a tie. He hated western clothing, but it was necessary.

“Why do you spend so much time among them?” She walked into the room. She was the image of her mother. Thin, rail like, a moon on her forehead, stripes on her cheeks. She was just barely over three hundred and forty years old, finally looking more like a woman and less like a girl.

“Why not?” he countered her.

“Haha-ue said you hated them at one point.” She fidgeted with her Kimono rumpling the fabric.

“At one point,” he agreed.

“Does it make you miss her less?” She held her father’s hand.

“No,” he replied quietly. He nuzzled his daughter’s nose. “You worry too much.” Nothing made him forget Rin. Nothing comforted that loss. Natsuki once asked him after they had been together for more than a century if he loved her. He said no. He was fond of her. He enjoyed her company, but it just wasn’t there.

“There are so few of us left. What if the illness comes back? It came from humans didn’t it?” Taka kept her hands clasped at her sides.

He inclined his head and sighed, “it did.” It wiped out three quarters of the yokai population before a cure was found, a cure that he was responsible for. “Tell your mother, I’ll be home in a few days. I have meetings.”

“What do you do down there?”

Sesshomaru picked up Tenseiga and strapped it onto his back, then threw on a matching brown suit jacket to cover it. He gazed longingly at Bakusaiga. The white pearled sheathe was covered in a layer of dust. The ones that were left sometimes fought. The last battle was fifty years before. Yokai from South America attempted to invade Japan’s skies. He and Tsukimaru had pushed them back. It was almost to his chagrin that he was still the most powerful Yokai of the age. There was only one who could possibly challenge his power and he was grateful that Tsukimaru never acquired the blood lust that he once had.

He opened the outside door to his room. He knew now why Rin thought it was so funny. His mother’s castle was covered in doors that led to the sky. No balconies, no awnings, no walkways, just doors. He dropped head first towards the ground. Each time he wondered when he would stop himself. Natsuki had comforted him, but it wasn’t the same. Perhaps it would have been, had she waited like she was told to, had they built a relationship that wasn’t born of pain. He shook his head and pulled up short. Home, first he would go home.

But then it wasn’t really home any longer. It was a park. The hot springs still bubbled next to the ancient sakura tree. In the center was a sculpture of a white dog with red eyes that spouted water out of its mouth. It was filled with coins and wishes from people who believed that if they wished for true love in this place, they would find it. Some swore by it. The daisies were demolished long ago and replaced with fields of grass. He had managed to hold onto this place until the 1940’s. War and upheaval destroyed the home that he had built for Rin. He gifted the estate to the city of Osaka afterwards and had it dedicated as a protected park. There was a bench built under the boughs of the Sakura tree. On it was carved an inscription, _My Heart._ It said nothing more than that, and many speculated its meaning.

Lover’s Park, had its own Facebook page, and stories circulated about its origin. The story was close. 

A demon Lord fell in love with a human and together they raised a family. She became sick and died, and the Demon Lord removed himself to the skies in mourning. It missed the main components that he was a dog demon, and that she had died of old age, not of illness. Their children weren’t mentioned by name, nor the many adventures they went on. 

_ Fools _ , he told himself as he watched a young couple holding hands, throwing in new coins.  _ There are no happy endings. There is heartache and pain, love and passion. The two always flow together. _

He touched the tree that held so many memories as if it were an old friend. He remembered their first moments, when he had taken her virginity underneath the tree. There were days he could still feel her shaking in his hands, and the sigh of her breath on his neck. He walked away, towards his clinic to begin another long day of treating the hopeless. 

Sota, Kagome’s brother was right. There were components in his blood that could treat and resist diseases, specifically Leukemia and Cancer. Sota would be a little boy, eight or nine years old. Kagome likely had just finished their battle against Naraku, and was banished to this side of the Well for the next three years until she would make her return at eighteen. Someone else had tried to warn her, to prevent what would come, to spare Rin the heartache she would go through. That’s why Sesshomaru had to find her. He knew that Goshinboku existed in this time. He watched through the ages as Kaede’s village changed from a forest with rivers, to the city of Tokyo.

Then one day a little girl and her family showed up at his clinic in the early 1990’s. He almost lost his lunch when the smell and sense of spiritual power came into his office. It was Kagome, her mother, father, and Sota when he was a baby. Kagome’s father was sick. He had Stage Four Leukemia. He was too far gone for Sesshomaru to save him with his blood. The raging fever that Rin suffered from was dangerous in the severely ill. His main goal was to get them healthy enough to use the mixture of his blood to save them. She would have liked that he dedicated his life eventually, to saving humans. It was impossible to continue the line of thought that he hated them, when he had loved one so deeply, when Harutoga and Tsukimaru took human spouses and before he knew it he was knee deep in mostly human grand-children and great-grandchildren.

He sighed, hands in his pockets as he opened the door. It would be a long day with board members who wanted to shut him down.

* * *

As evening came, Sesshomaru left the building. He figured that Kagome would be finished with school by now. He exited via the alley way to hide the fact that he was about to jump into the air and turn into a bright ball of light and fly in the air. He headed towards Tokyo where he knew Goshinboku was. There were so many smells in the city, it’s why he lived in the sky. He managed to ignore what entered his nose, except for when he was working. The tests were prefectural. He knew which cancer or type of leukemia a person had by the smell of their skin, but he couldn’t very well diagnose it by modern standards saying he smelled it.

He landed in front of the Higurashi shrine. It looked how he remembered it. After her father had been cured, they invited him for dinner. Sota was two, Kagome was nine. He feigned awe over Mrs. Higurashi’s cooking skill. Fourteen hundred years old and he still hated human food. She wasn’t there. He hadn’t done this in a while, finding her wouldn’t be hard, but he didn’t feel much like ambushing her. By now they were allies, barely friends. He put his sunglasses on, then let his eyes go a deep shade of red as he followed her trail. He let his yoki reach out and rage within him. He stopped in front of a pastry shop and stared at the treats inside, Rin always loved sweets. She had the cooks in their home make them for the children, more than once his armor was covered in sticky finger prints, especially once Taiyomaru was born.

“Sesshomaru?” he heard her voice.

He let his eyes return to their natural gold. He turned around to look at her. The last time he had seen her, she was older than this, strange to see her so young. She wore a light yellow dress and a blue cardigan. It was fall, winter would come in months.

“Why are you dressed like that? Where is your mokomoko? Did you come through the well?” Her face contorted into confusion.

He removed the sunglasses and nearly allowed himself to laugh when he saw recognition sink in.

“You’re not Sesshomaru from then, you’re from now?” Kagome asked him.

He nodded.

“I felt your yoki.” She rubbed her arms. “I almost didn’t believe it was you. I haven’t been able to go back in months. Why are you here?”

“Coffee?” He pointed to a shop across the street.

“You drink coffee?” she asked him, her mouth falling open.

“No.” He walked toward the shop, disregarding the cars that were blaring their horns and almost running into him. He let himself get hit by a car once to see what would happen. The car was thrown feet away from him and he only had a few scratches on his ankles. “But you do, or you will, come.” He opened the door for her.

He paid for her drink, taking only a cup of hot water for himself. He led her to a secluded booth. He wasn’t sure how to begin the conversation. They had a rapport before, but now…she had just fought her battle against Naraku. He could still smell a fresh injury. “You’re hurt.” he said plainly.

“It’s kind of embarrassing. You remember that cut on my arm? The one Inuyasha gave me? It won’t heal.” She pointed to her arm.

“Let me see it.” He didn’t wait for her to agree. He pulled the sweater off her shoulder and firmly held her arm in place. He pulled down the blood soaked bandage. He could smell it. “Shoki,” he told her,.“When we are finished here, I will heal it.”

“How?”

“My blood. It will counteract the effects of Naraku’s poison,” he told her. “We need to talk.” He knew that sentence was redundant. He took a preparatory breath and began the story. “In time, you will return through the well. Something happens, far into your future, close to twenty years from now.” He couldn’t remember how long it was or how old Rin was at the time, still in her twenties. “Rin will be my…wife.” He rolled his eyes. He still hated human terms for relationships.

“You married Rin-chan? But she’s just a little girl!” Kagome protested. “That’s gross!”

“Not when she is a child. I left her with Kaede after Naraku’s defeat. She stayed in the village for nine years, until she was seventeen,” he thought about how much he should say, what if he said the wrong thing? How badly could he mess up the past? But how bad could it be when Kagome had already told him they had spoke? “She was seventeen when I bound her to me, something you will learn about in time. We had children together.”

“How many?”

“Three.” He left out the two he had with Natsuki.

“Boys or girls?”

He forgot how frustrating human teenagers were. The ones he saw in his office were quiet, sick and too tired for this kind of chatter. “Two boys and a girl. Around the time she became pregnant with our third child,” he paused, “no our fourth…” he still remembered the little life that should have been born to them. The camellias still grew marking the space by the hot springs where he had buried their third child. He had made sure of that. 

“But you said you had three kids?” Shock washed over her expression, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He allowed himself a moment to recover and continued. “A rival will make herself known. Whatever happens, you must let it happen.”

“You mean you took a second wife? What about Rin?” Kagome glared at him. “I don’t understand any of this.” She massaged her temples.

He should have known as a teenager she wouldn’t. He let out a frustrated growl. “Ok…I took a second lover. Wife is such a shallow term.”

“You’re a pig.” She folded her arms. “Why should I help you?”

He folded his arms. “Because someone else is going to come to you, closer to that time, thinking they can stop what happened. Another who felt close to Rin and saw the pain she experienced after I bonded another.”

“Who?” Kagome’s eyes widened.

“Shippo.”

“He’s still alive?”

“He leads the small number of fox demons who survived the illness.”

“What illness?”

He was getting annoyed. “If you would stop chattering, I would tell you. Are you done?”

“You’re still rude.” She looked out the window.

“I’m told I have no bedside manner by the nurses at my clinic.”

“You’re a doctor?”

He gazed at her as her eyes widened her mouth opened, then closed.

“Sessho Rinata?” She covered her mouth. “You saved my father.”

“I didn’t save him. He died during the procedure. I brought him back with Tenseiga. I did not pick up his scent at your home this morning.” He leaned back against the booth.

“He died four months later in a car accident,” she sighed. “Stupid, to survive something like that only to get hit by a car walking across the street. Where are you markings?”

“Foundation.” Sesshomaru laughed.

“Okay, this is just weird. Aren’t we going to screw up the time continuum by having this conversation?”

“No. You already came to me nearly five hundred years ago,” he told her. “I am uncertain how much I can say, but what happens between Rin, Natsuki and I must happen.” He paused waiting for another onslaught of questions. He took her silence as his cue to continue, “roughly five years later, an illness that yokai and hanyous were not immune to began. It raged for ten years and wiped out three quarters of the yokai of the time. Two of my sons, one from Rin and one from Natsuki held the key to the cure. Certain components from their blood, when combined ended the illness. It saved the lives of hundreds. I must bond Natsuki, no matter the pain it causes. Tsukimaru must be born when he was.”

Kagome closed her eyes. “So you’re telling me I have to let you hurt Rin-chan?”

“Yes,” he sighed, remembering those days, the months she was gone. “You must help her leave me.”

“Why?” Kagome covered her mouth.

He closed his eyes. “After we lost our third child, she became different. Sad, less bright. Her fire died. In the months she was separated from me, she regained her confidence and fire. In the end, she is stronger because of it.”

“What happened to her? I mean…is she?” She drank her coffee.

“Dead? Yes. Centuries ago.”

“How did she die? I’m sorry I shouldn’t ask, she was such a sweet girl.”

“An old woman, in my arms.” He had held her the night she left him. They both knew it was coming, her breathing had been slowing for days. “She was with me for a hundred fifty years after I bound her.”

“What? How did she live for so long?” Kagome practically yelled.

Sesshomaru took her hand and motioned her to lower her voice. “Inu-yokai create spiritual bonds with their lovers. She could not return our bond. When I did it, my yoki entered her body. Over time the yoki built and slowed the cellular decay of her body. We noticed around the time she was thirty five that she was not aging as a normal human. Your brother will become a renowned doctor, or so I was told. He tested her blood. Half her cells functioned as if they were mine. She was happy when she left me.”

Kagome smiled. “I’m glad for you two. Wait, so how many children do you have, really?”

“Five.” He allowed himself to smile. “Yuki, Harutoga and Taiyomaru from Rin, Tsukimaru and Taka from Natsuki.”

“Wow…she forgave you?”

He nodded again. “She will learn that I had no choice. It was instinct. You and I will become good friends.” He held her hand. “You must remember to let it happen.”

“I will…so where did you live with her?”

“Do you know Lover’s Park in Osaka?”

“That’s you two?? I thought it was your father and Izayoi.”

“He lived in the West. Izayoi was the Lady of an Estate. That Estate was destroyed five hundred years ago. Lovers Park was our home for the duration of her life.”

“So you were the demon Lord?” Kagome smiled.

“The story is missing a few details, she wasn’t sick when she died, simply old.”

“But you do miss her?”

“Always.”

* * *

He walked Kagome back to her house. There was more he wished he could tell her, but for that moment it was enough. He accompanied her into her home and into her bedroom. He helped her remove the sweater. “You’ll have a fever,” he told her quietly. He slit his wrist open and let the blood drip onto Kagome’s injury.

“Oh kami that hurts,” Kagome cried.

“Bear the pain. It will burn. I never understood why before. It’s your body’s way of attempting to reject the foreign cells from my blood.” He sat on the floor next to her bed. Kagome shook with fever minutes after the blood touched the wound. He covered her with a blanket and lost himself in thought knowing that there wasn’t much he could do for her now. The fever lasted around eight to twelve hours. It would burn out the poison left by Naraku. After the fever broke he left, back for more board meetings, for the patients he treated in the hospital. It wasn’t a bad life. She would be proud of him.

* * *

**Twenty three years later…**

Sesshomaru stared out the window to his room. Natsuki lounged in their bed. The years had been kinder to her than they were to him. She didn’t have to live with the pain of losing the one she loved. “Come to bed,” she told him.

“I have patients,” he reminded her.

“Come to bed.” She patted the mattress next to her. Her hair was longer, down past her bottom. Her eyes fuller. His hips had finally widened giving her proper curves.

He complied with her request if for nothing more than to get her to stop pestering him. It wasn’t enough that she was physically calling to him, she was reeling him in with her yoki, pushing it against his, caressing their bond and making it near impossible to resist her. He sat down on his knee and allowed himself the pleasure of her lips. “I do need to leave.”

“You spend more time below than above these days. It’s getting ragged.” She touched his heart.

“Tonight,” he assured her. “I’ll be home tonight.” He touched her chin. “Then we’ll spend some much needed time together.” The bond was getting ragged. He kissed Natsuki deeply, pulling her close to his chest. It never ceased to amaze him that she also felt like she fit perfectly against him, like two puzzle pieces coming together. He felt his phone buzz against his back pocket.

“Why do you carry one of those things?” Natsuki pushed him off.

“For emergencies, although it doesn’t always work up here. It’s the Miko. She needs me to come look at something at her home.” He returned the phone to his pocket.

She grabbed his hand. “You still don’t love me, do you?”

He rubbed her jawline with his thumb. “You know why. I lost four months with her because of you. Her life was finite, yours is not.”

Natsuki growled, “three hundred and fifty years later and I still live in her shadow. It would be easier if you fell in love with me so I could break your heart and be rid of this thing.” She rubbed her breast uncomfortably.

“You could fall in love with me, and I break your heart,” he laughed. “There are so few of us left.” He shook his head at the cruelty of their situation. That was another conversation they had after the illness passed when he nearly lost her too. It was up to them to maintain the small line of remaining dog demons. “Tonight.” He pecked Natsuki again and flew out the door towards Tokyo. It wasn’t fair to Natsuki. He was fond of her, he cared for her, but the love simply wasn’t there. They enjoyed quiet conversation, read books in his mother’s library. His children were all grown, all bound to mates except for Taka. Tsukimaru and Harutoga had taken humans. Yuki true to her word fell in love with a pure-blooded inu-yokai and Taiyomaru was bound to one that was more than a hanyou but not quite pure blooded. He already had grand-children and great-grandchildren. Many of them looked older than he, some were already dead.

He landed in front of Goshinboku and touched the tree lightly. He let his hand feel the old roots, it was nice to see something that was nearly as old as he was. Something hit his senses, a smell. He didn’t want to believe what was wafting into his nose. He gripped Goshinboku accidentally, cutting a scratch in the hardwood.

“Sesshomaru?” He knew that voice. He would know it anywhere. He had not heard it in centuries. 

He couldn’t stop his eyes from expanding, or his heart from racing. He turned so cautiously, afraid that it was a dream. She stood behind him, in a dress he had never seen before, most likely something from Kagome. Her black hair blowing in the air. “Rin,” her name left his lips like a sigh.

She ran to him. He ran to her and pulled her to him. His lips crashed against hers. He breathed in her scent. 

“You look older.” She laughed, cupping his chin. “You have lines around your eyes.”

“How?” He held her. “You’re dead.”

“Taisho and Kagome-sama, they’re holding the well open. Together, they had enough power to push me through. She said we have an hour, then I have to go back.” She wrapped her arms over his shoulders. “Where’s your mokomoko? Your markings? You look so different.”

“An hour?” His mind was racing, until a memory came to him. Five years after they returned to their home in Osaka, Rin visited Kagome in the village with the children. When he came to spend the night with her, she smelled as if she had been in the arms of another man, who smelled like him, yet didn’t all at the same time. “I’m going to be upset, when you come home.” He rested his head against hers. “I missed you. How I’ve missed you.” He was no longer ashamed of tears. He allowed several to drip from his eyes as he gripped her, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear.

“I know. She told me.” She pulled his face down and kissed him deeply again. “Show me this world? Things smell so different. What is this hard stuff I am standing on? It feels like the walls of our home, but ours are smoother.”

“Cement,” he told her. “Everything is different in this time.” He took her hand and led her from the shrine. One hour, that was all he had. What could they do in an hour?

“What happened to all the trees?” Rin was like a child, watching the cars rush by, the people mill about, street lights, and bicycles. She held his hand, her fingers intertwined between his.

“Kaede’s village is part of a city called Tokyo now,” he told her. He pulled Rin back to him, “Rin…I…”

She put her finger over his lips. “It’s okay. I know, you already said good-bye to me. I…” she bit her lower lip. “I wanted to give you one last memory.” She grasped his neck and pulled his mouth down to hers.

“We can’t,” he whispered. He could already feel the yoki seeping in, the need to bond her again. “It’s broken.” He unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and pulled away the material of his sleeveless undershirt. The scar was gone. “It would intrude on my own connection to you in the past. You may kiss me as much as you want.”

She smiled, the one that he knew and loved. The smile that melted his heart with that silly toothy grin, that lit up her eyes, that started it all. “What are those things?” She pointed at the cars on the road.

“Cars,” he told her. “You see the circle in the front? It lets you drive.”

“Do you have one?” she asked him.

“I prefer flying,” he meant both on airplanes and on his own.

They walked around the city. Rin stayed close to Sesshomaru, gripping his hand. She followed as he led her through the streets, down a few blocks. She paused by the pastry shop, eyes lusting after all the sweets. “These look good.”

“Do you want one?” He tugged her into the pastry shop.

“It all seems so expensive.” She looked at the menu. “At least menus seem the same.”

Sesshomaru let himself laugh. “Money is different here. I have plenty. What do you want?”

“That,” she pointed at something that was smothered in chocolate and whip cream. “What is it?”

“It’s an German treat called a donut. There’s a cream filling inside. We’ll take six,” he told the vendor.

“Six?” she asked him.

“For the children, and if memory serves, I enjoyed the aftertaste of chocolate in your mouth.” He couldn’t stop holding her hand. He kept her head close to his nose to breathe in her scent.

“You speak differently,” she giggled as he paid for the pastries and led her out of the shop.

“It’s a different world.” If only she knew how different.

“Kagome-sama said you are a doctor?”

“I study a disease called cancer and another one called leukemia that affects blood,” he told her as they resumed their walk down the city. “They are deadly to humans. I help cure them.”

“I like that. I’m proud of you Sesshomaru.” She hugged him.

He removed one of the donuts out from the bag. “Taste it.” He held it up for her to take a bite. He watched mesmerized as she bit into the pastry. She bit into the pastry until the white cream covered her nose. Her mouth came back with a chocolate ring around the lips and white frosting on her nose.

“It’s so sweet.” She tried to wipe her nose.

Sesshomaru did it for her, running his tongue along her lips and nipping the frosting off her nose. “Chocolate hurts my stomach.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “We know chocolate hurts dogs in this time. I find it strange that human food can affect my stomach. It’s why I never ate it.”

“I would have killed you for touching my chocolate.” Rin held him. “Your eyes were so sad when I first saw you. Is she still alive too?”

“Yes.” His stomach pitched the same way it did when they first spoke of Natsuki.

“She doesn’t comfort you?” Rin’s eyes seemed sad now.

“It’s not the same.” He touched her heart, dreaming that he could feel their connection again.

“What about our children?” She couldn’t help herself. She knew she wouldn’t live long enough to see them become adults. She wanted to know what happened to them.

“Do you want to see pictures of them?” He removed his iphone from his pocket. The damn thing came in handy. He had managed to organize the pictures by family. He started with Yuki. “She bonded a yokai named Katsumoto. Pure-blooded, like she always threatened.” They both started laughing.

“She’s beautiful, look at her. She looks older.” Rin traced the lines on Yuki’s face. Her skin was wrinkled. She easily looked like she was forty years old. “She’s aging faster than you.”

He nodded. “Half the yoki, half the life-span. They have three children together,” he flipped to the next picture. “Two girls and one boy. One of the girls, Shizuka bonded a human, their children had children, and their children,” he chuckled. “It’s not all of them. Many of the human ones have already passed away. Then there is Harutoga. This is his second human lover. The first passed away of old age. He fell in love at two hundred, that would be around the 1700’s. She was with us until around 1850’s. Seventy years ago, he found another. He has eight children total. Five from his the first and three from the second. I don’t have pictures of the first five, they passed away long before cameras like this existed. I’ve managed to keep track of most of their families. There are many generations. From the first he had four boys and one girl and the second, two girls and one boy.”

“This machine is fascinating.” Rin touched Harutoga’s face. “He still has the stripe. And his eyes, remember when we first noticed that one was brown and the other gold?”

“I remember.” Sesshomaru flipped to the next folder. “Taiyomaru bonded one like Hisato. More than hanyou, less than pure blooded. She is still with us. They had three children, all girls. Their oldest recently bonded a human lover. She’s expecting in the spring. We’re all very excited.”

“Who is this?” Rin pointed to a young, white haired female inu-yokai.

“My daughter, Taka,” he answered her as they continued walking.

“Natsuki’s?” Rin held his hand again.

“Yes.” He felt guilty all over again.

“Yuki finally got the sister she always wanted,” Rin chuckled. “She’s beautiful Sesshomaru.”

“She and Yuki do not speak.” Sesshomaru closed the phone and put it back into his pocket.

“Why?” Rin stopped at another shop that was full of modern dresses.

“Yuki was angry with me, for returning so quickly to Natsuki. Our bond was ragged, aching,” he shook his head, he could still feel the ache. He had not expected Rin to live for as long as she did. In the end it was painful for both of them to keep their distances from each other. “She had been in heat for weeks, I think is what it would be termed for yokai periods of fertility. They come once a century or so, after the female comes of age. She was in so much pain and delirious from not having the heat resolved, she was unable to calm me. We both walked away with injuries. Taka was conceived from there.”

“You went back after I died didn’t you? Immediately after I died?” Rin arched her eyebrows at him.

“The day after. She had been sending for me for weeks. Begging for me to return to her and resolve her heat. Does this hurt you?” Sesshomaru ran his fingers through her hair.

“No, I want you to be happy. Tell me about Taka, does she have anyone on the horizon?”

“She’ll be of age in another sixty years, I’m not sure what we’ll do. She’s one of the last pure blooded Inu-yokai, besides her brother, Natsuki, Katsumoto and I. Most likely, she’ll be forced to take a human lover. Many humans carry the blood of the old ones.”

“What happened to Tsukimaru?” Rin asked.

“Don’t think I did not know that you had Natsuki visit home when I was not there.” He tapped her nose playfully. “He bonded a human seventy years ago and had four children with her, insisting he needed to outdo me.” He stopped and stared into Rin’s eyes. Part of him wanted to take her somewhere private, to make love to her all over again. He could feel the yoki in him boiling. It still recognized her as his, he yearned to feel their connection. “Can I touch your soul?”

She nodded.

He held her hands in his, pulled her close to him and bent his neck, kissing her, taking in her scent, the taste of her mouth, the warmth of her skin. He let his yoki reach out. It wrapped around her soul without binding her to him again. Deep within, he found their bond. He let it wash over him for a brief moment, long enough to heat his heart. He pulled his yoki back quickly. “It doesn’t feel like that when I am with her. Perhaps if we had met on different terms.”

“You're still angry with her? Did she approach you again, in my life-time?”

“No,” he said quietly. “She kept her distance. We should begin our walk back.” He looked at his watch. “Twenty minutes.”

“I feel like it’s not long enough. I get to go back to you and leave you here.”

“I’m satisfied here. I enjoy what I do and you are a grandmother, a great grandmother, great-great grandmother. I visit their families often.”

“Did we have more children?” Rin asked excitedly.

“No.”

“Did I get to see any of my grand-children?”

“You will live longer than we both expected.” They came to a stop in front of the shack that contained the well.

“How do I die?”

“Old age.” He pressed his lips against hers. “An old woman, in my arms, next to my heart. Where you belonged.” Another memory came to him. When Yuki and Harutoga fell ill with the non-stop fevers from the disease. Rin was stalwart, strong. It was the first time Sesshomaru had used the medicine he learned from the books, coupled with herbs from Jinenji and blood samples from Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru. They never became ill. “Very soon our children will become sick. Very, very sick.” He set his forehead against hers. “Close to death. I will find the cure,” he told her. “Do not fear their deaths.” He handed her the bag of pastries.

“Ok,” she tried to smile, “they’ll be ok?”

“They’ll be stronger for it.”

“Do you get sick?”

He nodded, “very sick. I will survive.”

“So we live happily ever after?”

“We have many adventures together. After the illness,” he shook his head, “the world is different. In a way it was safer for you. There are so few of us left,” he sighed.

“And you’re still the strongest?” Her eyes lit up. He loved that about her. She always believed he was the most powerful, the strongest. Even when he was weak and beaten.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Tsukimaru may outmatch me one day.” They strode up the stairs towards the shrine.

“Which means you had less enemies to come after me?” That made her smile. “We really did get peace.”

“We did, at a price. Now I know why my kind does not exist in this time.”

“It must be hard for you,” Rin tried to comfort him.

“Different, to be one of the last pure blooded demons alive.” It gave him a strange sense of responsibility.

“You haven’t called me your heart,” Rin giggled, holding his hand.

“I haven’t said that in centuries.” He moved a tendril of hair over her ear. “My heart.” He brushed his lips against her again. “You understand why I called you that?”

“I gave you emotions,” she touched his cheeks, “I gave you feelings.”

He nodded.

She hugged him. “Promise me, you’ll love her.”

“She is not you,” he said.

“I know,” Rin kissed him one last time. “I love you. Even from the grave, you know that right?”

“I know,” he answered quietly, not wanting to let her go.

“I can’t come back.”

“I know,” he sighed. “There is something I should have done then, I will do it now.”

“What?” Rin couldn’t stop smiling. Every time she did, he did. There was something lighter about this Sesshomaru.

“Sing to you.” He put one arm around her waist and the other held up her hand. He pulled her into his waist and started singing, MAD Sayonara. He twirled her around, swayed with her back and forth to an invisible beat. She laughed against his neck and followed his steps. She even stepped on his toes a few times. He drank in the sound of her laughter until the last refrain, then leaned down and kissed her tenderly again. “I love you, so much. I’m sorry, for all the pain I caused you from bonding Natsuki.”

“We’re both stronger for it.” Rin wiped her eyes. “Why does this feel like good-bye?”

“Because for me it is,” he said quietly. “I’ve already lost you. We’ve already said goodbye.” He brushed her hair out of her face.

“I’ll wait for you.” She nuzzled his nose. “For as long as it takes.”

“Your soul could have already come back into this world,” he whispered, “don’t wait. Start the cycle again.”

“Then find me.” She kissed him, still holding his hands. “Wait, I brought something for you,” she picked up a bag from next to the well and handed it to him.

He opened the red tattered bag and pulled out an album. Inside were pictures of Rin, their children, when they were actually child-like, baby pictures and one of all of them together. He touched her face in that one. “I remember when this was taken. At Sota’s wedding.”

“I asked Kagome for pictures.” Rin wiped tears from her eyes.

“Thank you.” He held Rin one last time. “Two minutes, you must go now.”

She nodded. “Good-bye, Sesshomaru.” She held onto the tips of her fingers. He hated seeing her cry. His younger self would return to her shortly after this visit, they would fight, and then make up.

“Good-bye, Rin,” he said with a heavy heart.

He helped her into the well. He stood next to it, until she disappeared again, gone to him forever. He wondered if he could find her soul, reincarnated into the body of someone else, would that person know who he was? Would she have their memories? Would it even be worth it?

There was one more memory that surfaced. That visit when Rin smelled different, Kagome had pulled him aside and pleaded with him, “something is wrong with the well. I can’t get through. Promise me, you’ll take care of my children that are stuck there?” It didn’t make sense then. She never said that it was him who approached her. In two weeks’ time, they would discover the well stopped working, the same time the first victim of the disease was claimed. 

Kagome would lose Inuyasha to a fever that lasted for years, and it would spread from there. No yokai or hanyou was immune to it, the ogres, the dog demons, the cats, three quarters of their village. They lost Akari, her family, Hisato and his mother. Although he had never seen anyone happier to die than the day he said good-bye to his mother. He had asked her how old she was. “Sesshomaru you know better than to ask a Lady her age.” She took her last breath after that. “I’ve forgotten, it was so long ago. Don’t bring me back. Don’t save me. Let me rest with him.” He had contemplated stopping all the deaths with Tenseiga, but even Tenseiga couldn’t heal the ones that fell ill. He had tried, it didn’t work. The end of their kind had come.

They nearly lost Jaken and Shippo. After several years of it spreading like a wildfire. Yuki and Harutoga fell ill. As they lay on their deathbeds, it was Jaken who asked if Sesshomaru’s blood could save them somehow. Then a light went off for Kagome. Taiyomaru and Tsukimaru had been around those who were sick but never became sick themselves. Natsuki fell ill, but somewhat recovered after being bit by Tsukimaru during a fit. It was then they finally put it together, the ancient fable of the sun and the moon saving what was left was true. Tsukimaru and Taiyomaru held the cure. Sesshomaru was grateful that Kagome had brought her brother Sota’s notes back with her. She came to live in his home alongside Rin after Inuyasha’s death. She went back weekly to the Well, ten years later, in keeping with the time the cure from the disease was discovered, the well opened again and she was reunited with her adult daughters. He wondered what happened to them. They only came to visit once the well was open, they didn’t live with him in his home in Osaka.  _ They must have been happy with me.  _ He thought as he understood what happened. For two weeks after that visit Kagome had tried to get the well to open, it wouldn’t.

Sesshomaru turned towards the house, already smelling his two nieces. He walked with his hands in his pockets, a habit he acquired mostly to hide his claws. There was a benefit to keeping them long. He dressed in a way that screamed money, wore designer labels to blend in. He had been the victim of several muggings that typically ended in holes in his best shirts, him laughing then dragging the mugger to the police station. He let them live as long as they confessed to their crimes. It only took a flash of his eyes and the feel of his claws along their necks to end a mugging.

He knocked on the door. “Higurashi-san,” he greeted Kagome’s mother.

“Rinata-sama! What are you doing here?” Mrs. Higurashi was a plain woman. She wore a white apron around her waist that tied in the back.

He looked past her at Mayumi and Izayoi who were at the table. Izayoi would stand out like a sore thumb in this world. She had the same white hair he did, tiny pointed ears on the top of her head and golden eyes. She even had a moon on the top of her forehead similar to his own. “I came for my nieces.” Natsuki would be shocked when he returned home with them.

“Excuse me?” She looked at him confused.

“Forgive me, I have not been honest about who I am. My real name is Sesshomaru. I am the first son of Inu no Taisho, the brother of Inuyasha.” He pushed his hair away from his ears, so she could see the full effect of his long points. “Mayumi and Izayoi are my nieces.”

“Ojisama?” Mayumi came running forward. “Why are you?” She stopped. “Are you Ojisama?”

He smiled and patted her on the head. “Do you remember the day in the forest when I taught you hijin tesou?”

Her face lit up. “Soba-san, this is our Uncle!”

“What about Kagome and Inuyasha?” Mrs. Higurashi placed her hand over her heart. He could hear it pounding. “What happened?”

“The well is closed. It will be for the next ten years. This is not a place to raise children like this. They will come with me, in my home,” he said firmly but kindly. “Higurashi-san, they will be safe with me.”

“What about Ka-san and To-san?” Izayoi asked, tears in her eyes. She was seventeen.

Sesshomaru knelt down on one knee. “You will see your Haha-ue again.”

Mrs. Higurashi brushed tears out of her eyes. “Are you really their uncle?”

“May I use your sink?” he asked her.

“Please,” she invited him in.

Sesshomaru walked into the kitchen. He leaned over the sink and washed the ridiculous paint off his face, revealing his stripes and the crescent moon on his forehead. He came back in. He allowed his mokomoko to be visible to give the full effect.

It was like she finally saw it. “I guess you are their uncle. Those are real? They aren’t make-up?”

“They’re real, so are these.” He pointed to his ears. He raised his right arm and created a whip. It looped around the room and cracked.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “That’s longer than yours Izayoi!”

“He taught me to make it,” Izayoi demurred to him. “What about To-san?” 

Sesshomaru shook his head, “very soon, he will become very sick. He told me to tell you, that he loves you very much and that he missed you. I’m sorry. I saved him once already with Tenseiga, I could not save him again.”

Izayoi and Mayumi nodded their heads, trying to be brave.

“Poor Kagome,” Mrs. Higurashi covered her mouth.

“She is well cared for Higurashi-san. During that time I had a large home. She moved in with my family. We made a wing for her and her children.” He wondered if he should mention that she saw her grand-children and great grand-children and although Sota and Taisho had died centuries before as elderly men, Sota’s wife and their children were still alive. They lost their firstborn to the disease, but afterwards had three more in quick succession.

“You will bring them to visit?” Mrs. Higurashi asked.

“Often. Girls, come,” he held out his hand again, “we’ll return.” He led his two nieces out into the courtyard. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching and bounded into a white light that flew into the air then hit the ground in a giant form of a dog. He lowered himself onto his stomach and motioned with his head for them to get on his back. Both girls scrambled on, he bowed his head to Mrs. Higurashi.

She bowed back. “He’s so dashing,” she covered her mouth.

Izayoi and Mayumi laughed, “we’ll visit soon Soba-san!”

Sesshomaru bounded into the air, towards his mother’s home, with two new children to raise. Somehow it made him feel as if he was coming full circle. As if he was finally going home.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS STORY, I LOVE YOU!!

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENT AND KUDO PLEASE!
> 
> You can connect with me on twitter!  
> twitter.com/elohiniar


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